The Best Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 1, Episode 8 Quotes

Raymond: You look like a corpse we just pulled out of the river.
Jake: Wrong - I look like a cool rock star who OD'd in his own pool.

[Scoffs] Nope.
- It's like I never even drank.
- And that's not a hangover cure?
- What, that?
- Nah, it's just some...
- Protein...
- For my guns. I drink one every morning before I lift.

Amy: Pretty hungover?
Jake: Shhhhh... turn off your mouth siren...

Jake: I've got some stories that will make Training Day look like Super Troopers.

- Let's send these shoes to hell.
- Oh, wait.
- Eh, it just smells worse than before.
- Ugh! Oh!
- Abort.

Rosa: When this is over, I'm going to find you, and I'm going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

Raymond: Why do you idolize that man and the time he wrote about?
Jake: Because the 70s were amazing! Everyone had big juicy mustaches and all the clothes were orange... and flammable.

- Scully ate his potpie
- 30 minutes ago.
- So we probably got 10 minutes left on this nap.
- Twelve if he's Turkey-tired.
- All right, come to papa.
[Grunting] It's trapped. Abort mission!
- I have an idea.