The Best Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 7, Episode 6 Quotes

Scully: I gotta say, I'm loving these. I always wanted to wear Hammer pants.
Raymond: Stop.
Scully: Hammer time?

Terry: I called my friend at the lab. He's gonna take the guinea pigs. They're not gonna do any chemical tests on them. They're just gonna teach them how to run mazes.
Charles: Really? I want you to look Claire 38 in the eye, and tell her that...
Terry: [Without hesitation] I'm sending you to a lab, Claire. Bye.

Terry: [to Charles and Rosa] What were you thinking, breeding guinea pigs at work?
Charles: We weren't breeding them on purpose, they're just very sexual creatures and we didn't wanna slut shame them.
Rosa: Yeah, sorry you're not more sex positive, Terry.

- I'm done with love.
- Illneverfind anyone as...
- Oh, my god!
- Get a load of the can on her.
- See you, dorks!
- I'm gonna get some.
- Well, Hitchcock still sucks.

Raymond: Lieutenant, as you know, I've been walking the same beat for the past three weeks. It's become a bit tedious.
Terry: I thought you loved tedium.
Raymond: I love monotony. They're very different.

Terry: I can't play favorites. You never did when you were in charge.
Raymond: Of course I did.
Terry: Really? I never got any special treatment.
Raymond: I think you can do the math there.

- Oh, no!
- Someone's here, this is too public.
- I mean, itwouldn't stop Hitchcock, but fine, I know a secret spot.
- What was that?
- What am I feeling right now? Huh?
- Are those all your tiny little hands?

Raymond: I'm off to walk my beat again, much like Sisyphus, condemned to push the same boulder up the same hill day in and day out.
Terry: You know, according to French philosopher Albert Camus, Sisyphus achieved happiness in that absurd repetition.
Raymond: Any French philosophy post-Rousseau is essentially a magazine.

- Stupid bloomberg and his stupid soda ban.
- Okay, 6:14, it's ud o'clock.
- Okay. Here we go.
- Mmm-hmm.
- So this bag of pellets is your lunch?
- Yep. It's a perfect food for the human man. You want some?

- We make the rules.
- Maybe it would help to just not think about the whole thing for a while and see where we're at.
- Yeah, okay.
- I love you.
- I love you.

Scully: Thanks, everybody, for coming out to Hitchcock's divorce party.
Raymond: Why is the cake two men getting married?
Scully: That's me and Hitchcock. The boys are back together!
Raymond: This cake is for a gay wedding. The inside is a rainbow.
Scully: Nuh-uh. It's my favorite flavor: All the flavors!
Hitchcock: I can't believe Bethany's gone. It was so out of the blue.
Jake: Well, not entirely. I mean, she did have an affair with her hairdresser, and you filmed it and threatened to release the tape, and then she said she didn't care and put it on the internet herself, and then, when it started to make money, you sued her for half the profits.
Hitchcock: And then boom, out of the blue: Divorce papers.

Hitchcock: Oh, no. Her number! It's totally ruined. I knew I shouldn't have had those breakfast wings.
Scully: Oh, bud, I'm so sorry.
Hitchcock: Now all I have to remember her by is this tooth.
Amy: What the hell? Why do you have that?
Hitchcock: We were eating pizza, and it fell out of her mouth.
Scully: Well, this is perfect. We can use it to find her.
Hitchcock: What do you mean?
Scully: We just have to try fitting that tooth into the mouth of every woman in New York City till we find the matching gum hole of your one true love.
Hitchcock: My life is like a fairytale!

Terry: Think of it this way: It's like doing reps at a gym. Doing something over and over again is how you make your pecs pop.
Raymond: The only muscle I care to work out is my brain.
Terry: Then get those reps in and make that brain pop.
[Starts flexing his pecs]
Terry: Pop, pop. Pop, pop, pop.
Raymond: What you're describing is an aneurism.