The Best Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1, Episode 11 Quotes

Buffy: [emerging from the grave] Thought I was dead.
Willow: Buffy, your face.
Buffy: [feeling the transformation] Oh, God...
Xander: Buffy.
Buffy: Don't look at me!
Rupert: [softly] You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire.
Buffy: This isn't a dream.
Rupert: No. No, it's not. But there's a chance that we can make it go away. This all comes from Billy. Now, if-if we can only wake him up, I believe that the nightmares will stop and reality will shift back into place. But we must do it now. I need you to hold together long enough to help us. Can you do that?
Buffy: Yeah. I think I can.
Rupert: Thank you.
Buffy: Well, we'd better hurry... 'cause I'm getting hungry.

Buffy: [seeing the Master for the first time] You...
The: So... this is the Slayer. You're prettier than the last one.
Buffy: This isn't real... You-You can't be free.
The: You still don't understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. You nightmares are made flesh. You have Billy to thank for that.

[confronting his nightmare clown]
Xander: You were a lousy clown. Your balloon animals were pathetic. Everyone can make a giraffe.

Joyce: I-I-It's just... I know its a hard situation. You just have to remember that your father adores you. No more than I do, by the way.
Buffy: Good-bye.
Joyce: Have a great day.

Rupert: The boy's been in a coma for a week. How can this be possible?
Buffy: What am I, Knowledge Girl now? Explanations are your terrain.

Wendell: They're not insects. They're arachnids.
Xander: They're from the Middle East?

Wendell: [about his spiders] I had the best collection in the tri-county area. I has browns and tarantulas and black widows... Then my folks ship me off to Wilderness Camp. All my brother had to do was maintain the habitats. Instead, he left the heat lamp on for a *week*. When I came home, they were all dead. That's when the nightmares started.
Willow: The nightmares?
Wendell: It's always the same. I'm sitting in classroom. The teacher asks me to read something. I open up my book, and there they are... They're coming after me... God, can you blame them after what I did?
Xander: That's how it happens, every time?
Wendell: Yesterday in class, I thought I had just nodded off again... but then everyone else started screaming too.

The: Fear is a wonderful thing. It is the most powerful force in the human world... not love, not hate.

Willow: Why is she so Evita-like?
Buffy: I think it's the hair.
Willow: It weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex.

Xander: Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural monsters: been there.
Buffy: A little blasé there, aren't you?
Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party.

[first lines]
Buffy: [having a nightmare] No!... No! No.
Joyce: Yes. It's time to get up for school.
Buffy: [half asleep] Mom?
Joyce: Are you alright?
Buffy: [fully awake] No. Uh, yeah... Yeah. I'm-I'm fine. Oh... school. Great.
[gets out of bed]
Joyce: You wanna go to school?
Buffy: Sure. Why not?
Joyce: Okay. Good day to buy that lottery ticket... I spoke with your father.
Buffy: He's coming, right?
Joyce: You're on for this weekend.

Xander: Red alert. Where's Buffy?
Rupert: She-She just stepped out. Her-Her father came by. He-He needed to to her...
[looking at Xander's outfit]
Rupert: Whe-Where are your other clothes?
Xander: Oh, don't I wish I had the answer to that question.
Willow: Xander kind of found himself in front of our class not wearing much of anything.
Xander: Except my underwear.
Willow: [enthusiastically] Yeah, it was really...
[see Xander glaring at her]
Willow: ... bad. It was a bad thing.
Xander: "Bad thing"? I was naked. "Bad thing" doesn't cover it.
Willow: Everybody staring. I would hate to have everyone paying attention to *me* like that.
Xander: With nudity! It's a total nightmare.
Willow: Well, yeah, Xander. It-It's your nightmare.
Xander: Except the part with me waking up going, "It's all a dream." It happened.
Willow: Like it happened to Wendell. That thing with the spiders. Wendell had a recurring dream about that.
Rupert: I-I-I dreamt that I-I got lost in the stacks, and I... I couldn't read... Of course!
Xander: Um, our dreams are coming true.
Rupert: Dreams? That would be the musical comedy version of this. Nightmares. Our-Our nightmares are coming true.

The: Come on, Slayer. What are you afraid of?
[throws Buffy into an open grave]
Buffy: Help! Help me!
The: How about being buried alive?
[starts filling in the grave]
Buffy: Let me out! Please, don't go! Please! No!

Xander: Well, it'll be faster if we split up to look for her.
Rupert: Good idea.
[Xander and Giles go in opposite directions leaving Willow standing there alone]
Willow: Uh-uh, faster, but not really safer.

Xander: [Following a trail of Chocolate Bars until he gets to the end] Chocolate Hurricane! Man, I haven't had one of these since my...
[smile fades]
Xander: sixth... .birthday.
[the crazy knife-wielding clown shows up, laughing maniacally]

Rupert: Having a problem.
Buffy: What is it?
Rupert: I-I can't read.
Buffy: What do you mean? You can read, like, three languages.
Rupert: Five, actually, on a normal day, but the words here aren't making sense.

[last lines]
Willow: Personal question?
Xander: Yeah, shoot.
Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?
Xander: Willow, how can you... I mean, that's really *bent*. She was... grotesque.
Willow: Still dug her, huh?
Xander: I'm sick. I need help.
Willow: Don't I know it.

Buffy: Are you Billy Palmer?
Billy: I'm Billy. Why are you here?
Buffy: Did something bad happen to you after your game?
Billy: Something bad?... I-I-I don't remember.
Buffy: Do you remember playing baseball?
Billy: Uh-huh. Yeah. I play second base.
Buffy: Are you Lucky 19?
Billy: [scared] That's what he calls me.
Buffy: Who?
Billy: The Ugly Man. He wants to kill me. And he hurt that girl.

Buffy: I'm glad you showed up. You see, I'm having a really bad day.
Coach: [as the Ugly Man] Lucky 19.
Buffy: Scary. I'll tell you something though. There are a lot scarier things than you... And I'm one of them.