The Best Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 3, Episode 21 Quotes

[after the Mayor eats the Gavrok spiders]
Mayor: My God, what a feeling. The power of these creatures... it suffuses my being... I can feel the changes begin... My organs are shifting, merging, making ready for the Ascension. Plus, these babies are high in fiber, and what's the fun of becoming an immortal demon if you're not regular, am I right?

Angel: Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?
Buffy: Duh, yes.
Angel: Which?
Buffy: What?
Angel: I don't get you.
Buffy: No, you don't. Not anymore.
Angel: Are you just making this harder to make this easier on yourself?
Buffy: Can we stop with the brainteasers? I just wish it was over. Done.
Angel: Huh. It's not that simple. Once the mayor...
Buffy: I know. World in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that.
Angel: You want me out of your face?
[throws down the box of books and starts to walk away]
Buffy: Isn't it even a little hard for you?
Angel: How can you ask me that? Just 'cause I'm not acting like a brat doesn't mean I don't feel anything.
Buffy: It's nice to know what you think of me.
Angel: What do you expect me to say when you just attack?
Buffy: I just can't do this anymore. I can't have you in my life when I'm trying to move o...
[Angel gets shot with an arrow and falls to the ground]
Buffy: Angel!

Mayor: Well, you don't have to watch. Just, you know, go home, take it easy. It's a big day tomorrow.
Faith: You gotta give me *something* to do. There's no way I'm sleeping! Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.
Mayor: [laughs] You little firecracker!

Xander: Come on, guys. The suspense is killing Angel.

Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it.
Xander: Yes, men like sports. Men watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned?

[telling Buffy about a new assignment]
Wesley: Yes, well, you will go tonight, look over his apartment, anything of note, report back here.
Buffy: I just *love* it when you take charge, you man, you.

Buffy: Okay, ready?
Angel: Yeah.
Buffy: On 3. 1...
[pulls out arrow]
Angel: Ahh. I knew you were gonna do that.
Rupert: Not too much blood here.
Angel: I heal pretty fast. I should be all right.
Buffy: I'm just glad Faith's such a suck shot.
Rupert: We're sure it was her?
Buffy: Well, I've narrowed down my list of one suspect.
Wesley: Fascinating.
Rupert: What?
Wesley: It seems our Mr. Worth headed an expedition in Kauai, digging through old lava beds near a dormant volcano.
Buffy: I'm not fascinated yet.
Wesley: He found something underneath. A carcass, buried by an eruption.
Rupert: A carcass?
Wesley: A very large one. Mr. Worth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur.
Angel: A demon?
Rupert: Well, yes, that would be something that the-the mayor would want to keep a secret. If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, then it means that... well, he's only impervious to harm until the Ascension. In its demon form, he can be killed.
Buffy: Great. So all we need is a million tons of burning lava. We're saved.
Angel: Well, it's a start anyway...
[he tries to stand up]
Buffy: Ok, you have been a real klutz today. You need to...
Angel: Damn.
[he falls to the ground]

[Giles opens a book to a page of the mayor's demon form]
Xander: Hey...
[Xander opens a fold-out a couple of times]
Xander: ...we're going to need a bigger boat.

Willow: Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not gonna find a spell to stop the ascension. I'm no witch. I can't even change poor Amy back to a person.
[show Amy-rat in her cage]
Oz: But you got the swinging habitrail goin'. I think Amy's in a good place emotionally.

Wesley: The Council's orders are to concentrate on the Asc...
Buffy: Orders...? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you. Not from them.
Wesley: You can't turn your back on the Council.
Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.

Willow: Oh, this is so frustrating.
Oz: Nothing useful?
Willow: No, it's great... if we wanna make ferns invisible or communicate with shrimp, I've got the goods right here.
Oz: Our lives are different than other people's.

[Percy thanking Willow for help getting a B- on his History and still thinking it was she and not Vamp Willow at the Bronze]
Percy: Hey, listen, thank you. I mean, for helping me, being so patient... And also, for not kicking my ass like you did in the Bronze.
Willow: You know, Percy, that was actually... for your own good.

Buffy: I know you wish I were different.
Joyce: Oh, Buffy, no...
Joyce: But I wish I could be a lot of things for you. A great student, a star athlete, remotely normal... I'm not.

Xander: There is no way I'm getting out of this school alive.
Cordelia: Well, you've really mastered the power of positive giving up.
Xander: I've been lucky too many times. My number's coming up. And I was short! One more rotation, and I'm shipping stateside. You know what I mean?
Cordelia: Seldom if ever.

Xander: The mayor is gonna kill us all during graduation.
Cordelia: Oh. Are you gonna go to fifth period?
Xander: I'm thinking I might skip it.
Cordelia: Yeah, me, too.

[last lines]
Faith: Still won't help you boy, though... Shoulda been there, B... Quite a ride.

Xander: Both what?
Buffy: Go to graduation and fight the mayor.
Xander: The mayor...? What, you guys didn't hear?
Buffy: Hear what?
Xander: Guess who our commencement speaker is?
Willow: Siegfried?
Xander: No.
Willow: Roy?
Xander: No.
Willow: One of the tigers?
Xander: Come out of the fantasy, Wil.

Buffy: [about Faith] I can't kill her. Fun as it may sound... I can make her cry uncle, though, and I mean to.

[Faith menaces Professor Worth with a knife]
Lester: I'll scream!
Faith: Who wouldn't?

Rupert: Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.
Buffy: 'Cause I'm not crazy or 'cause I don't kill people?
Rupert: Both, actually.

Anya: You're going to die if you stay here.
Xander: I guess I might.
Anya: When I think that something could happen to you, it feels *bad* inside, like I might vomit.
Xander: Welcome to the world of romance.
Anya: It's horrible! No wonder I used to get so much work.

Anya: About eight hundred years ago, in the Kaskov valleys above the Urals, there was a sorcerer there who achieved Ascension. Became the embodiment of the demon Lohesh. I was there cursing a shepherd who'd been unfaithful. His wife had wished that all his sheep would lie wi...
Buffy: Can we cut back to the chase?
Anya: Oh, sorry. Um... Lohesh was... it-it decimated the village within hours. Maybe three people got out.

[first lines]
Cordelia: I can't believe this loser look. I lobbied so hard for the teal. No one ever listens to me, lone fashionable wolf.
Xander: I like the maroon. Has more dignity.
Cordelia: Dignity? You? In relation to clothes? I'm awash in a sea of confusion.

Wesley: I'm sorry. Uh, Lohesh was a four-winged soul killer, am I right? I was given to understand that they're not that fierce. Of all the demons we've faced...
Anya: You've never seen a demon.
Buffy: Uh, excuse me. Killing them professionally four years running.
Anya: All the demons that walk the Earth are tainted, are human hybrids, like vampires. The Ascension means that a human becomes pure demon. They're different.
Rupert: Different?
Buffy: How?
Anya: Well, for one thing... they're bigger.