The Best Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 3, Episode 9 Quotes

Vamp: Weird thing. Girl kept talking about Buffy. "Gotta get Buffy here." Isn't that what they called the Slayer?
Vamp: Hmm. Buffy. Ooh. Scary.
Vamp: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.

Angel: What's the plan?
Buffy: [holding a stake] Don't fall on this.

Vamp: So you're a Watcher, huh...? Watch this.
[bites Cordelia]

Angel: The Master rose. He let me live... to punish me. I kept hopin' maybe you'd come... My destiny.
Buffy: Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the Second Coming.

[after Buffy kills a demon]
Willow: Isn't he gonna go poof?

Cordelia: Okay. Not funny. Hey. You. Where did you put my car?
Caretaker: Pardon?
Cordelia: My auto! El convertablo.

[seeing Vamp Xander and Vamp Willow being affectionate]
Cordelia: No. No! No way! I wish us into Bizarro Land and you guys are still together?

Cordelia: What is this, some kind of sick joke? Harmony told me you were dead.
Vamp: Now, why would she say something like that? Let's think.

Anya: Ever since we met this morning, I was, like, thank God there's one other person in this town who actually reads W.
Cordelia: But, Harmony...
Anya: Oh, she follows me around. If that girl had an original thought, her head would explode.

[repeated line]
Vamp: Bored now.

The: [holds up a young girl] Hungry? I've lost my appetite for this one. She keeps looking at me. I'm trying to eat, and she looks at me.

[Vamp Willow about to torture an imprisoned Angel]
Vamp: Don't you want to?
Vamp: No, thanks, baby. I just wanna' watch you go.

Vamp: We really are livin' in a golden age.

[first lines]
[as Buffy is being choked by a demon]
Buffy: Nnnfrr...! Nnnfrr...!
Willow: Oh, God! Demon! Demon! What kills a demon?
Buffy: Nnnfrr...! Nnnfrr!
Willow: Oh, Nerf! Not Nerf! Knife!

[last lines]
Cordelia: I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.
Anya: [Anya has become human] Done.
Cordelia: That would be cool. No. Wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never been born.
Anya: [bewildered nothing happened] Done!
Cordelia: And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. *And* that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair.
Anya: Done!
Cordelia: In fact, I wish all men, except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind, disappear off the face of the Earth. That would be so cool...! Or maybe...

Xander: I cannot stress enough how much I don't have plans.

Cordelia: You know what I've been asking myself a lot this last week? Why me? Why do *I* get impaled? Why do I get bitten by snakes? Why do I fall for incredible losers? And you know, I think I've finally figured it out. What my problem is. It's... Buffy Summers.

Xander: Excuse me. I need to be both giving and receiving of mirth. Is it too much to ask for a little backup?
Buffy: I'm here for you Xand. I'm Support-O-Gal.

Xander: But you know what really bugs me? Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were *ever* gonna kiss.
Willow: Darn tootin'.
Xander: And they burst in rescuing us, without even *knocking*? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Buffy: Your logic does *not* resemble our Earth logic.
Xander: Mine is much more advanced.

Vamp: [smiling] Uh-oh. Puppy got out.

Anya: [as Anyanka] You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this?
Rupert: Because it has to be.

Buffy: Okay. That was too close for comfort. Not that slaying's ever comfy, but... you know what I mean.

Buffy: World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing doesn't change that.
Rupert: I have to believe in a better world.
Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.

Cordelia: I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.
[Anya becomes the demonic Anyanka and Cordelia gasps]
Anya: Done!

Vamp: [to a vampire] Slap my hand, dead soul man.

Rupert: [reading] "In order to defeat Anyanka, one must destroy her power center. This should reverse all the wishes she's granted rendering her mortal and powerless again." You see? Without her power center, she-she'd j-just be a-a-an ordinary woman again. And all this would be, um... well, different... Well, I'd say that my... my Watcher muscles haven't completely atrophied after all.
Buffy: [sarcastic] Great. What's her power center?
Rupert: [checks the book] Um, well, um, uh... It doesn't say.
Buffy: Why don't I just put a stake through her heart?
Rupert: She's not a vampire.
Buffy: Well, you'd be surprised how many things that'll kill.
Rupert: I don't want to kill her, Miss Summers. I want to reverse whatever effect she's had on this-this world.
Buffy: [sighs] You're taking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves.
Rupert: Giles.
Buffy: Kill the bad fairy, destroy the bad fairy's power center, whatever... and all the troubles go away?

Buffy: I don't play well with others. Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I'm gonna get testy.