The Best Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 7, Episode 5 Quotes

D'Hoffryn: The flaying of Warren Meers, oh, *truly* inspired. *That* was "water cooler" vengeance. Yes. Lloyd has a sketch of it on his wall.

Xander: You don't understand. This isn't an intervention. Buffy's coming to kill you.
Anya: She's coming to try.
Xander: Did everybody have their "crazy flakes" today?

D'Hoffryn: Miss Rosenberg seems to think Anyanka would be better suited outside the vengeance fold. I think we already know what Lady "Hacks Away" wants. And the young man, well, he sees with the eyeballs of love.

[Sunnydale, 2001]
Mustard: [singing, off-screen] Oh, no / Mustard on my shirt.
Parking: [singing, off-screen] Mustard / I'll never get it out.
Mustard: [singing, off-screen] My favorite dress shirt.
Parking: [singing, off-screen] Dry-clean it.
Mustard: [singing, off-screen] How could you serve...
Mustard: [singing, off-screen] Mustard.

[Sunnydale, 2001]
Anya: [singing] I've boned a troll, I've wreaked some wrath / But on the whole I've had no path / I like to bowl, I'm good with math / But who am I / Now I reply / That I'm the missus / I will be his Mrs. / Mrs. Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins Harris.

[Sjornjost, 880]
Villager: [Old Norse, subtitled] It's the largest troll I've ever seen!
Villager: [Old Norse, subtitled] Run! Hide your babies and your beadwork!

D'Hoffryn: I've got plenty of girls. There will always be vengeance demons, but nowt you, Anya, you're out. Congratulations. Your wish is granted.
Anya: You should have killed me.
D'Hoffryn: [chuckles] Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. From beneath you, it devours. Be patient. All good things in time.
[D'Hoffryn teleports away]

[Sjornjost, 880, Anya is human]
Anya: [to D'Hoffryn] I, uh... I don't talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them, but they don't talk to me, except to say thatyour questions are irksome and perhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river.

Xander: You think we haven't all seen this before? The part where you just cut us all out, just step away from everything human and act like you're the law? If you knew what I felt...
Buffy: I killed Angel...! Do you even remember that? I would've given up everything I had to be with... I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life... and I put a sword through his heart because I had to.
Willow: And that all worked out okay.
Buffy: Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you? Do you remember giving me Willow's message? "Kick his ass."
Willow: I never said that...
Xander: This is different.
Buffy: It is always different! It's always complicated. And, at some point, someone has to draw the line and that is *always* going to be me. You-You get down on me for cutting myself off, but, in the end, the Slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guide book, no all-knowing Council. Human rules *don't* apply... There's only me. I am the law.
Xander: There has to be another way.
Buffy: Then please find it.

Buffy: I just don't want you to get your hopes up.
Xander: Hopes? Oh, no, no, no, no. There are no hopes. Anya and I are done. I love being single. I'm a strong, successful male who's giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future.
Buffy: Strong, successful males say "giddy"?

Buffy: Xander... it's okay. She didn't tell us for a reason. She didn't tell us because she knows what I have to do... I have to kill Anya.

[Sunnydale, 2001]
Anya: [singing] And I'll be Mrs. / I will be his missus / Mrs. Anya "Lame-Ass Made-Up Maiden Name" Harris.

[Willow summons a demon]
D'Hoffryn: Behold D'Hoffryn, Lord of Arashmaharr, he that turns the air to blood and reigns to...
[sees Willow]
D'Hoffryn: Miss Rosenberg, how lovely to see you again. Have you done something with your hair?

[St. Petersburg, 1905]
Halfrek: Yes, I'm sure this is what she had in mind.
Anya: Well, I don't know about her mind, but it was in her heart. Besides, Russia was ready to explode. All we did is just give it a little push.

Spike: I don't trust what I see anymore. I don't know how to explain it, exactly. Like I've been seeing things... Dru used to see things, you know? She'd always be staring up at the sky watchin' cherubs burn or the heavens bleed, or some nonsense. I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely "sack of hammers." But she'd see the sky when we were inside and it'd make her so happy. She'd see showers. She'd see stars... Now I see her.

[Sjornjost, 880]
Olaf: [Old Norse, subtitled] Come here tiny man. You are small and toylike.

Anya: This is getting to be a *pattern* with you, Buffy. Are there any friends of your left you haven't tried to kill...? Come on, Buffy. Don't you have a clever retort for me?

[after D'Hoffryn has Halfrek killed instead of Anya to restore the lives of her victims]
D'Hoffryn: [hard and angry tone] Who did you think you were dealing with? Did you think it would be that easy to get away?
Anya: Why?
D'Hoffryn: Why?
[laughs]
D'Hoffryn: Because you *wished it*!
Anya: But she was yours.
D'Hoffryn: The way you were mine? Haven't I taught you anything, *Anya*? Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain.
[Xander starts to rush at D'Hoffryn but Buffy holds him back]
D'Hoffryn: Hold him back, Slayer. Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt?

Buffy: [on phone] Oh. Spider demon. Wait. Ho-Hold on. Are-Are you alright? Uh. Like how? Uh-huh. Uh-huh, wait. Okay, go ahead.
[pause]
Buffy: No, no, no, no, no. It's all good. Um, I'll-I'll get Xander to go. But seriously, you just-
[pause]
Buffy: Wh... Ripped out the heart? My God. Hey, did you get that physics class you wanted?

D'Hoffryn: I talked to your friend, Miss Rosenberg.
[to Anya]
D'Hoffryn: She's a firebrand. I have high hopes for her.
Xander: Stay away from Willow.
D'Hoffryn: Oh, he's gallant, isn't he? I understand what you saw in him.

[Sjornjost, 880]
Anya: What would I have to do?
D'Hoffryn: What you do best. Help wronged women punish evil men.
Anya: Vengeance.
D'Hoffryn: But only to those who deserve it.
Anya: They all deserve it.
D'Hoffryn: Well, that's where I was goin' with that, yeah.

D'Hoffryn: It's like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue.

[first lines]
Dawn: My advice to you is do exactly what everyone else does, all the time.
Willow: Got it.
Dawn: Do what everyone else does, wear what everyone else wears, say what everyone else says.
Willow: Okay.
Dawn: People may say something to you you don't understand. Just don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying.
Willow: You know, Dawn, I've been to college before.
Dawn: People may say something like, "My protein window closes in an hour." Just... nod and smile. "Mm-hmm." Turns out it has something to do with fitness.

[last lines]
Anya: Xander...
[Xander stops and turns around]
Anya: What if I'm really nobody?
Xander: Don't be a dope.
Anya: I'm a dope.
Xander: Sometimes.
Anya: Well, that's a start.

[Sjornjost, 880, Anya is human]
Anya: [Old Norse, subtitled] The rapid reproductive rate of our rabbits has given me an idea. I can give the excess out to the townspeople, exchanging them not for goods or services, but for goodwill and the sense of accomplishment that stems from selflessly giving of yourself to others.
Olaf: [Old Norse, subtitled] Ha, ha, ha. Sweet Aud! Your logic is insane and happenstance, like that of a troll.