The Best Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 7, Episode 6 Quotes

[last lines]
Willow: Hey, Anya, you never told us what you "can't believe you almost".
Anya: "Almost" who now?
Willow: No. You can't be the only not-embarrassed one. What did you do?
Anya: Uh... I, uh, wrote a poem... an *epic* poem, comparing him to a-a daisy, and a tower and a lake.
Radio: And now the latest on Sunnydale's late-night bandit who is still at large. A masked thief held up a number of...
[Anya quick shuts the radio off]
Anya: Okay. Great. Ice cream. My treat?

Willow: Yeah? Well, I have skills. I can prove my love with magic.
Anya: Yeah, right. What are you gonna do? Use magic to make him into a girl?
[Willow's face lights up]
Anya: Damn.

Xander: Is there something more emphatic than "hate"? Can I "revile" the plan?

Buffy: [to Dawn] So, do you have plans later, or are you just gonna go down to the docks, wait for the fleet to come in?

Xander: I'm just sayin', once you get back the soul, doesn't that mean you start, like, picking up your own wet towels off the floor?
Willow: No, but maybe you start to feel really bad about leaving them there.

Dawn: I'm just so... The way I acted, the way I talked to you... I feel so stupid. All over a spell.
Buffy: Get ready to feel even stupider when it's not.

Anya: Well, you're gonna have to do better than that. I'd kill for him.
Willow: You'd kill for a chocolate bar.

Buffy: [noticing RJ] I think that's the guy.
Willow: What guy?
Buffy: The one who, according to Dawn, is the, quote, "smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest, and having-the-thickest-boy-eyelashes boy in school," unquote.
Xander: He don't seem so tough.
[Willow notices the girl RJ dances intimately with]
Willow: Check out the fan club.
Xander: Daddy like.
Buffy: What's that shirt made of, paint?
Willow: Buff...
Buffy: Glad Dawnie can't see her precious boyfriend getting all thrusty with some slut-bag hussy...
[the girl turns around, revealing herself to be Dawn]
Buffy: Oh.
Xander: Oh. Oh! No! Daddy, no. I wasn't... When I was looking, I wasn't- Oh, God.
Willow: Right there with ya.

Spike: No. Bollocks to the whole thing. I don't need your mollycoddling.
Buffy: It's not coddling... Now go to your closet.

Buffy: The school basement is making him crazy. We can't just leave him there.
Xander: Why not? Crazy Basement Guy is better than Stalking Buffy Guy.

Anya: Look I don't need anyone's help... Or, okay, clearly I do, but I don't *want* to need anyone's help, so... stop helping.

Willow: Damn love spell. I have tried every anti-love spell spell I can find.
Anya: Even if you found the right one, guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love spell spell... spell.

[RJ is leaving the principal's office]
Buffy: Whoa, hand on there, slappy. I'm not done with you yet.
R.J. Brooks: Oh, man. Like, it's not bad enough I got that guy ridin' my back all the time. Now I gotta deal with you, too?
Buffy: Actually, I'm a bit more formidable than Mr. Wood. You might come to look fondly on his back riding.

Buffy: [to Dawn] Okay. First with the lap dance, now with the cat-fight. Hey, wanna get drunk and barf next?

Buffy: Willow, you're a gay woman... and *he* isn't.
Willow: This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart.
Anya: His physical presence has a *penis*.
Willow: I can work around it.

[after Dawn screwed up at cheerleader audition, in front of her crush RJ. Dawn sobs in the bathroom at home, with Buffy hopelessly trying to talk to her from outside. Xander comes around the corner]
Xander: Things a lot better, I see.
Buffy: I don't think tonight's gonna be good for videos, Xand.
Xander: Right, with the wailing and the crying. Still better than a cozy evening with Spike. Shall I order a pizza? Don't teens in a snit like pizza?
Dawn: [opens the door] It is not a snit. I-I finally met him, the guy of my dreams, okay, and I blew it! RJ hates me now.
[Buffy notices the torn cheerleading clothes on the floor]
Buffy: Dawn, what is that?
Dawn: Just the end of my life.
[walks away, sobbing]
Xander: Remember when she used to have a crush on me? I miss the much cuter "me" crush.

Xander: It's the jacket. It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest. Makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw i tall the time in school. And you couldn't just pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play... Not that I tried.

Xander: You know, Spike definitely seems a little more cogent, and less "bl-bl-bl-bl-bl."

Buffy: [to Dawn] Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you *do* not go out on a date without informing me first. Third, Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky.

[first lines]
Xander: [to Spike] You're gonna live in the small room over there. I know it looks like a closet, but it's a room now. You're not gonna touch my food. I take the first show, and if I use up all the hot water, that's your tough noogies.

Buffy: Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about slippin' that jacket on just a little bit.
Xander: I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.

Buffy: This is the plan? You're gonna steal R.J. by being trisected?
Dawn: What am I- gonna compete with you? You're older and hotter and have sex that's rough and kill people. I don't have any of that stuff!

Anya: Well, I-I guess you guys could use my help. W-Willow's not very good with the practical strategizing... except when she's evil.