The Best Carmen Filpi Quotes

Messenger: How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side.
Adam: Fine, you look fine.
Messenger: Yeah?
Barbara: Fine.
Messenger: Thanks, I've been feeling a little flat.
[he laughs and goes through the crevice in the filing room]

Old man in bar: You need a prostitute.

Glenn: Hey, asswipe, don't go snitching to Julia about this. I know you got a little crush on her, but you gotta face the facts: she'd rather go to bed with a REAL man. Not some poor singing orphan.
Robbie: All right, shithead. I haven't been in a fight since I was in the fifth grade, but I beat the shit out of that kid, so now I'm going to beat the shit out of you.
[Old guy throws a weak punch at Glenn and misses horribly]
Robbie: Hey, what are you doing, man?
Old: I'm sorry. I used to be much stronger.

Robbie: That's it, man, starting right now, me and you are going to be free and happy the rest of our lives!
Sammy: I'm not happy. I'm miserable.
Robbie: Wha - what?
Sammy: See... I grew up idolizing guys like Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino because they got a lot of chicks. You know what happened to Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino?
Robbie: Yeah, I read that Fonzie wants to be a director and Barbarino, I think... the mechanical bull movie? I didn't see it yet.
Sammy: Their shows got canceled. Because no one wants to see a fifty-year-old guy hitting on chicks.
Robbie: So what are you saying?
Sammy: What I'm saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right.
Old man in bar: [Comes up behind him and hugs him] Everything is going to be all right.

Glenn: [after punching Robbie] You know, you should write a song about this. You could call it "I got punched in the nose for sticking my face in other people's business".
[he and his friends walk off laughing]
Old man in bar: Sounds like a country song!

[about women]
Old: They rip your heart out of your ass!