The Best Crazy Jane Quotes
Crazy: Let's explode in peace and quiet.
Crazy: [about Niles] He really was a rat bastard, wasn't he?
Rita: What a cruel thing to say about rats.
Crazy: Is anyone ever not scared of a creepy kid?
Crazy: Yeah, well, you're pathetic and that makes it easy to forgive.
Cliff: Jane, you want to go fuck up some rats?
Crazy: Fuck, yes.
Crazy: It's not a suitcase. It's a useless sack of shit.
Rita: [in the bag] I heard that! It's me, Cliff, Rita.
Crazy: Like I said.
Crazy: Holy shit, we're doomed.
Cliff: At least you got to have a fucking orgasm before you die.
Larry: I--I don't understand.
Crazy: I don't need you to understand. I need you to hold the rope.
Crazy: The toy fucking lamb can talk now?
Shelley: The Eternal Flagellation, it's... it's a vulture, cleaning the carcass of an overfed sow. A powdered donut sinking into an outhouse pit.
Crazy: Wow. That is some art school-level pretentious bullshit
Shelley: Well, maybe that's what I am, Jane. Pretentious bullshit, manure coursing through my shrunken veins.
Crazy: Because I can think of better ways of wasting my time, like trying to eat my own face.
Victor: How long have you been in our house?
Madame: Well, long enough to see Bandages over here play dress-up with your dead bodies.
Cliff: The fuck?
Larry: I was at a low point and wasn't making great decisions, okay?
Larry: How does this crap keep happening to us?
Crazy: Because no one else gets sent on a mission by a time travelling bird lady to go hunt down some art freaks who pissed off a half-man/half-butt monster who may be trying to destroy the world.
Larry: Yeah, got it.
Rita: The real me, whether I blob or triumph, you were always the place that I returned to. You were my home.
Crazy: Okay, this is really beautiful, but if she doesn't hurry the fuck up, we're gonna fry.
Dorothy: I know being a grown-up is hard. And sometimes you have to yell to get all the bad feelings out.
Crazy: Yeah, well, being a grown-up doesn't give you a pass on being an asshole.
Crazy: Look, let me tell you something. I'm starting to think that the world's always gonna need rescuing. But you gotta wonder... when you're out there saving the planet, who the fuck is rescuing you?
The: As you guessed, this is an intervention.
Crazy: Your face is an intervention.
Crazy: So, are you gonna tell us who you are or does someone need to jam a foot up your peehole?
Madame: Oh! Aren't you charming?
Crazy: Oh my gosh, I know who you are. You're Cyborg.
Victor: In the flesh, and you are?
Crazy: Baby Doll, duh. I'm your biggest fan. You are so cool. Way cooler than the Flash.
Victor: You want to know a secret? He's not even that fast.
Cliff: So, you want to go fuck these Immortus chumps up, or what?
Crazy: You bet your copper-plated ass.
Crazy: [to Laura] Hey, Doctor Who, did you get us all in here so we can watch you do your kiegels, or did you actually have something to say?
Crazy: You can't survive without me.
Kay: I'd like to try.
Madame: Oh, my god. Am I that horrible?
Crazy: Bitch, you turned into a killer baby. So yeah.
Crazy: What kind of Captain Kangaroo, Jim Henson devilry is this?
Cliff: Whatcha doing?
Crazy: Playing Frisbee golf. What does it look like, dipshit?
Cliff: Bullshit! There's no such thing as time travel. 'Cause if there was, a certain sixth grade assbag named Jimmy Decker would've never pulled my pants down in assembly. And I never would've had the nickname "Cheeto Dick" for six years.
Crazy: That's what you would go back in time and fix?
Crazy: Pretty, pretty Polly. Wake the fuck up. We're a construct. Kindness may be one of our only commodities.
Crazy: Hey! Hey! I know I'm new to the group, and I don't know how you handle things like this.
Larry: Well, typically, we just kind of wing it and everything works out.
Crazy: Well, how do we stop them?
Willoughby: You're not paying attention. This isn't some threat you can just punch into submission.
Crazy: Yeah, well, everything you're saying just makes me want to kick their asses even more.
Harrison: This doomed patrol is the El Dorado of psychological dysfunctions.
Rita: Oh, dear God.
Crazy: Quiet, sack.
Flex: [Flex is preparing to use his flexing powers to send the Doom Patrol into the White Space] Alright, everybody focus! I need you to focus on the White Space.
[Flex holds up an open comic book and flexes his muscles]
Cliff: Anybody? Anything?
Elasti: I... I feel... s-something.
Larry: Me too.
Cliff: [Cliff is unable to feel because of his robot body] Is there something that I should be feeling right now?
Larry: It's like... oh? OH!
Elasti: Oh my...! Huh!
Cliff: [Cliff looks around and sees people in the street acting strangely] What the fuck is going on?
Elasti: We're all reaching... .!
Larry: Oh... oh!
Crazy: We're fucking cumming man!
[Everyone including the Doom Patrol but except for Flex and Cliff begin to simultaneously orgasm]
Larry: Oh oh!
Elasti: Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh!
Flex: [Flex realises what's happening] I think I flexed the wrong muscle.
Cliff: No shit dummy!
[Cliff realises that he is unable to orgasm because of his robot body and begins to fake an orgasm]
Cliff: Oh, err... oh oh, oh yeah!
Crazy: [Crazy Jane looks at Flex] I'm gonna fucking kill you! Oh fuck!
[Everyone except for Flex and Cliff simultaneously orgasm]
Flex: I am so, so, so, so sorry. I was shooting for the splenius capitis, and I accidentally flexed the splenius cervicus. You did the right thing...
Elasti: Just give us a moment!
Flex: Take as much time as you need... I... I'm stupid...
Cliff: My special hand is meant for loving only.
Crazy: Your options are endless, but also less than five.
Niles: Are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms?
Crazy: Is being a pathetic piece of shit a withdrawal symptom?
Crazy: Your dad shot a pegasus. That's like, worse than shooting a unicorn by magnitudes of billions.
Cliff: [people around him moaning] What the fuck is going on?
Rita: We're all reaching -
Crazy: We're fucking coming, man!
Harrison: I suspect Cliff has a low IQ due to poor breeding, a Florida public school education, and race car fumes. Diagnosis, a grade A simpleton.
Crazy: [after Cyborg is having a bad day, locked out of his own mind, Jane presses her finger against his chest circle] Hey Siri, what is the Doom Patrol?