Top 30 Quotes From Danny Strong

Jonathan: Of course I'm scared. Last time we were here, 33.3 bar percent of us were flayed alive.

Spike: In my head. The chip in my head.
Warren: We're kind of in the middle of somethin'.
Spike: Well, you can play holodeck another time. Right now, I'm in charge.
Warren: Yeah, what are you gonna do if we don't especially feel like maybe playing your- What are- Wait. What are you doing?
[Spike takes Boba Fett action figure off its base]
Spike: Examine my chip or else Mr. Fett here is the first to die.
Jonathan: Hey! All-All right. Let's not- Let's not not do anything crazy here.
Andrew: That's a limited edition, 1979 mint condition Boba Fett.
Warren: All right, dude, chill. You can still make it right. You know you don't wanna do this.
Spike: What I want is answers, nimrod.
Warren: Right. But you don't want to hurt the Fett, because, man, you're *not* comin' back from that! You know, you don't just *do* that and walk away.
Spike: That right? Let's find out.
[about to rip head off of action figure]
Warren: *One* sec- One second.

Jonathan: Hi. I wasn't sure you'd come over. Everyone's mostly forgetting. But, I think some people are kind of angry.
Buffy: Yeah!
Jonathan: Nobody's even talking to me. And.. the twins moved out.
Buffy: Why did you do it anyway? No. I get why. How?
Jonathan: After the thing with the bell tower and the gun, I went to counseling. You know other kids with problems a-and one of them had this spell. He glossed right over the monster. Well, anyway I just - I-I just wanted to apologize. Nobody was supposed to get hurt.
Buffy: Jonathan you get why everyone is angry though, right? It's not just the monster. People didn't like being the little actors in your sock puppet theater.
Jonathan: You weren't! You weren't socks! We were friends.
Buffy: Jonathan, you can't keep trying to make everything work out with some big gesture all at once. Things are complicated. They take time and work.

Jonathan: [as The First] Did you find the gun?
Andrew: Yes. It was in Buffy's underwear drawer. She has nice things.
Jonathan: [as The First] Show me.
Andrew: Well, I didn't take 'em, but there were thongs and regular underpants.
Jonathan: [as The First] Show me the gun.

[about being stuck in the basement]
Jonathan: I mean, I'm going Jack Torrance in here, ya know? Stuck in this basement for weeks. We rented the whole house. Can't we at least sleep upstairs?
Andrew: We-We're on the lam. We have to lay low. Underground.
Jonathan: That's figurative, doofus. Did you even read Legion of Doom?
Warren: Okay, enough!
[to Jonathon]
Warren: Midgetor, get back to the monitors.

Jonathan: We're not killers. We're crime lords!
Andrew: Yeah, like-like Lex Luthor. He's always trying to take over Metropolis, but he doesn't kill Superman.
Warren: Because it's Superman's book, you moron!
Andrew: But, Lex doesn't kill him, does he?

Jonathan: [as The First] Andrew, I want you to think. Willow brought something to this house. Something good. Something you can use.
Andrew: The new microwave?

[first lines]
[Warren squirts a sleeping Jonathan with a water gun]
Andrew: [laughing] Oh, man. Your face is priceless.
Jonathan: Yeah, real funny.
Warren: And it serves you right for taking Z's on the lookout again.

Jonathan: We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight...? Did-Did she, um...
[the crowd turns and finds her. She looks nervous at the attention]
Jonathan: This is actually a new category. It's the irst time ever. I-I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots. And, um, well, t-the prom committee a-asked me to-to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here."
Student: Zombies!
Student: Hyena people!
Student: Snyder!
[people chuckle]
Jonathan: "But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history.
[everyone claps and cheers]
Jonathan: And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks and gives you, um, uh, this."
[Jonathan produces a gold, glittering, miniature umbrella with a small metal plaque attached to the shaft]
Jonathan: It's from all of us. And it has written here, "Buffy Summers, Class Protector".

Warren: So... you guys wanna team up and take over Sunnydale?
Andrew: Okay.

Jonathan: I still can't believe that was Willow. I mean, I've known her almost as long as you guys. Willow was, you know... she packed her own lunches and wore floods and was always... just Willow.
[the car gets hit]
Jonathan: Geez it!
Andrew: What was that?
Xander: Just Willow.

[Warren has just snapped a demon's neck]
Jonathan: Mahatma!

Warren: Wh-What the hell is that?
Andrew: Death Star, dude! Wicked, huh?
Jonathan: Thermal exhaust port's *above* the main port, numb nuts.
Andrew: For your information, I'm using the Empire's revised designs from Return of the Jedi.
Jonathan: That's a flawed design!

Spike: Oh, look. Jonathan. Taking the little sidekick out for a walk, are we?
Buffy: Shut up, Spike.
Spike: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, semi-harsh language from Betty. You're feisty when big guy's standing beside you. Someday, sweet Slayer, I would love to take you on... see you face the evil alone for once.
[Jonathan slams Spike up against the crypt wall]
Jonathan: That's enough of the creepy small talk. We're looking for a monster.
Spike: Why would I know about that?
Jonathan: Every demon in this town's gunning for you right now, so I figure you're probably keeping pretty good track of 'em. Big arms, mark on its head. Have you seen it?
Spike: No, but then again, I'm probably lying.

Jonathan: You're checking for implants?
Andrew: Lex Luthor had a false epidermis escape kit in Superman versus the Amazing Spider-Man, Treasury Edition.

Jonathan: Stop touching my magic bone!

[Jonathan is working on a magic spell]
Jonathan: Get back. You don't wanna make me rush this.
Warren: I'm not impressed, Padawan. When do we hit pay dirt?
Jonathan: If something goes wrong, it's gonna surge. We'll be deader than an ex-girlfriend.
Warren: What did you say?
Jonathan: Just let me work.
Warren: All right. All right. You do what you need to do. You get us the goods, and then watch out. It'll be like--like the whole world just spread open and gave it up for you, man.
Jonathan: And then we're done, right? We each take our share, and we call it a day.
Warren: You're that ready to get rid of us, huh? Don't worry. We pull this off you can go buy any tropical island you want. Ah. Cheer up, Short Round. You're about to get us everything we ever wanted.

Jonathan: [Warren almost hits Jonathon with an invisibility gun] You penis!
Warren: Oh, cheer up, Frodo. Because, thanks to my brains and our mystical gem we got ourselves an invisibility ray. And I'd say that makes us pretty much unstoppable.

Eric: Hey, Artie.
Arthur: It's Arthur.
Eric: I hear we're up for the same internship.
Arthur: Eric. I want to save you the embarrassment. I'm a straight-A student. My documentaries have garnered multiple film-festival honors and I have a letter of recommendation from Ted Turner.
Eric: Your point?
Arthur: I could walk in without pants and get this job.
Eric: I've seen you in gym class, Arthur. Wear pants.

Jonathan: I need you to hold hands.
Andrew: With each other?
Warren: Well, you know what homophobia really means about you, don't you?
Jonathan: Stop touching my magic bone!

Jonathan: [to Buffy] Stop saying my name like we're friends! We're not friends! You all think I'm an idiot! A short idiot!

Willow: Fantasy's are fun, aren't they, Jonathan?
Jonathan: Uh... I guess.
Willow: We all have fantasies that we're powerful, more respected. Where people pay attention to us.
Jonathan: Uh... maybe.
Willow: But sometimes the fantasy isn't enough, is it Jonathan? Sometimes we have to make it so people don't ignore us. Make them pay attention. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?
Jonathan: Em, you... Want me to pay attention?

[the trio sees Spike and Anya having sex on their camera]
Warren: Guys, we have to- Oh, holy crap!
Jonathan: Oh, my God.
Warren: What is that? P-Porn?
Jonathan: Oh, my God.
Warren: Is that the cam in the Magic Box?
Jonathan: Oh, my God.

[Mexico, 2002]
Andrew: We're fugitives, haunted by our past, tormented by a message we don't understand.
Jonathan: We're hunted men, driven mad by forces beyond our understanding.
Andrew: We're men of faded power, tortured from within by-by a voice out of nowhere.
Jonathan: I don't deserve this. I wasn't even that evil.
Andrew: I thought you were evil.
Jonathan: Yeah?
Andrew: Sure... I respected your ideas for- for evil projects, and I thought you had good follow-through.
Jonathan: Oh. Well, thanks. It's nice that you noticed.

Andrew: But, I don't- I don't wanna kill Buffy either.
Jonathan: Yeah. She saved my life a bunch of times. Plus she's hot.
Warren: It's her or us. I mean, we have to do it.
Andrew: We're talking about murder.
Warren: No, we're talking about staying alive. And since this is my mom's house, I think what I say goes.

Anya: Listen to me. We have to get you out of here, or you'll both be killed. Guard!
Jonathan: What's going on?
Anya: Guard!
Andrew: Stop that! I- I don't trust her. Do you trust her? This is major uncool.
Jonathan: Um, Anya? You're gonna have to break this down for us a little.
Anya: Warren shot Buffy. Warren shot Tara. Buffy's alive. Tara's dead. Willow found out and being the most powerful Wicca in the Western Hemisphere decided to get the payback... with interest.
Andrew: Wh-What about Warren?
Anya: She killed him. Ripped him apart, and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.
Andrew: Oh, my God. Warren.
Jonathan: Oh, my God. Me... Guard!

Jonathan: We should have stayed in Mexico.
Andrew: I didn't like it there. Everybody spoke Mexicoan.
Jonathan: You could've learned it. You learned the entire Klingon dictionary in two and a half weeks.

[Jonathan and Andrew sit with Spike while Warren is working]
Andrew: You're English, right?
Spike: Yeah?
Andrew: I've seen every episode of Doctor Who... Not Red Dwarf, though, cause, um...
Jonathan: 'Cause it's not out yet on DVD.
Andrew: Right. It's not out yet on... DVD.
Spike: [shouts] *Warren*!

Jonathan: [at the Bronze] What are we doing here? Somebody might recognize us... This is great. We're risking everything so that Charles Atlas can get a date. He's gonna end up getting us thrown into jail. Or worse. Maybe you and I should think about...
Andrew: Warren's the boss. He's Picard. You're Deanna Troi. Get used to the feeling, Betazoid.

Jonathan: [Buffy takes the gun away from Jonathan] I just wanted it to stop.
Buffy: Yeah, well, mass-murder, not really doctor recommended for that type of pain. Besides, prison, you know, it's a lot like high school, only instead of noogies...
Jonathan: [Interrupting] What are you talking about?
Buffy: Actions having consequences. You know, stuff like that.
Jonathan: I- I wouldn't ever hurt anybody. I came up here to kill myself.