The Best Darren Jones Quotes

Darren: Do you have any idea what it's like to be attacked by hundreds of butts?

- at my daughter's softball game, something happens.
- And then your wife tells you she can't stand you, that you're not even a man anymore.
- I'm sorry, what?
- She wants to see the head.
Darren: Oh.

- Look at my elbow.
- Look at my elbow.
- Look at my fist, motherfucker.
- Vic!
Darren: Hello, Victor.
- Welcome to the ant farm.

Darren: I got one hell of a tale to tell you. It's about a man who was on top of the world... He had it all. A career, a beautiful wife and children, a home that would make Martha Stewart shit through her mouth with jealousy.

- Listen up, freaks. I got your dead leader's head. [Laughs]
- If you want it back, you'll come and see me.
- But don't keep me waiting or! Will make him pay for it! [Laughs]
Niles: Don't do it.
- Don't come here. Save yourselves!
Darren: Shut up!
- I'll see you real soon.

- What?
- I gotta say, I'm with the street.
- So then what do we do?
- Let's turn the party, girl.
- You in?
Darren: Look alive, gentlemen.

Darren: I thought I smelled abominations.