50 Best Diane Guerrero Quotes

Madame: Oh, my god. Am I that horrible?
Crazy: Bitch, you turned into a killer baby. So yeah.

Maritza: What if it turns out to be, like, picking up trash on the side of the road?
Marisol: They don't pay that much for dummy work. Nah, whatever it is, it's gonna take skills and smarts.
Maria: Yeah, what are you gonna wow them with, your eyeliner skills, or your smarts about how many words rhyme with "bleak" in emo songs?

Crazy: Is anyone ever not scared of a creepy kid?

Crazy: It's not a suitcase. It's a useless sack of shit.
Rita: [in the bag] I heard that! It's me, Cliff, Rita.
Crazy: Like I said.

Crazy: [about Niles] He really was a rat bastard, wasn't he?
Rita: What a cruel thing to say about rats.

Crazy: The toy fucking lamb can talk now?

Shelley: The Eternal Flagellation, it's... it's a vulture, cleaning the carcass of an overfed sow. A powdered donut sinking into an outhouse pit.
Crazy: Wow. That is some art school-level pretentious bullshit
Shelley: Well, maybe that's what I am, Jane. Pretentious bullshit, manure coursing through my shrunken veins.

Tavi: What did you say your name was?
Maritza: Yessica. It's like Jessica but ethnic.

Cliff: Jane, you want to go fuck up some rats?
Crazy: Fuck, yes.

Marisol: I feel like I've got a secret, you know? Like we're a part of this secret club that no one knows about. I feel cool.
Maritza: Oh my god, you just said that, and my nipples got, like, super-hard.

Cliff: [people around him moaning] What the fuck is going on?
Rita: We're all reaching -
[moaning]
Crazy: We're fucking coming, man!

Victor: Jane... would you like to join me on a mission to save the world?
Crazy: Hmm... Yeah, fuck it. Sure, yeah.

Maritza: You know what gets me so hot? Is when guys compare me to breakfast, and when they talk about me like I'm not even here. how 'bout you call me "that oatmeal in the front seat," and I'll be so yours?

Isabela: I just made something unexpected. Something sharp. Something new. It's not symmetrical or perfect, but it's beautiful! And it's mine. What else can I do?

Flex: [Flex is preparing to use his flexing powers to send the Doom Patrol into the White Space] Alright, everybody focus! I need you to focus on the White Space.
[Flex holds up an open comic book and flexes his muscles]
Cliff: Anybody? Anything?
Elasti: I... I feel... s-something.
Larry: Me too.
Crazy: Yeah...
Cliff: [Cliff is unable to feel because of his robot body] Is there something that I should be feeling right now?
Larry: It's like... oh? OH!
Elasti: Oh my...! Huh!
Cliff: [Cliff looks around and sees people in the street acting strangely] What the fuck is going on?
Elasti: We're all reaching... .!
Larry: Oh... oh!
Crazy: We're fucking cumming man!
[Everyone including the Doom Patrol but except for Flex and Cliff begin to simultaneously orgasm]
Crazy: Shit!
Larry: Oh oh!
Elasti: Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh!
Flex: [Flex realises what's happening] I think I flexed the wrong muscle.
Cliff: No shit dummy!
[Cliff realises that he is unable to orgasm because of his robot body and begins to fake an orgasm]
Cliff: Oh, err... oh oh, oh yeah!
Crazy: [Crazy Jane looks at Flex] I'm gonna fucking kill you! Oh fuck!
[Everyone except for Flex and Cliff simultaneously orgasm]
Flex: I am so, so, so, so sorry. I was shooting for the splenius capitis, and I accidentally flexed the splenius cervicus. You did the right thing...
Elasti: Just give us a moment!
Larry: Please.
Flex: Take as much time as you need... I... I'm stupid...

Cliff: My special hand is meant for loving only.
Crazy: Ew.

Lina: Frankie heard cuts are coming. Will you ask Rafael if it's true and who's getting fired?
Jane: Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.
Lina: Oh, please, Jane? I need this job. I drink for free and it's so close to my gym.
Lina: Yeah, I don't think I can use that argument with Rafael.

Bottle: Be careful. Karma is a bitch.
Maritza: Who's Karma? That new girl?

Baby: Ready or not, here I come.
- Dorothy.
- Dorothy?

Crazy: So, are you gonna tell us who you are or does someone need to jam a foot up your peehole?
Madame: Oh! Aren't you charming?

Crazy: Yeah, well, you're pathetic and that makes it easy to forgive.

Maritza: I'm not a prostitute. Not even if the guy's kind of hot in a mean-dad way.

Larry: How does this crap keep happening to us?
Crazy: Because no one else gets sent on a mission by a time travelling bird lady to go hunt down some art freaks who pissed off a half-man/half-butt monster who may be trying to destroy the world.
Larry: Yeah, got it.

Lina: [Lina is accused of stealing liquor] But Jane, I didn't do it.
Jane: So you weren't drinking at work.
Lina: Oh, of course I was drinking at work; but ever since they put in the new rules, I bring my own booze.

Crazy: I don't know if I deserve to be loved.
Cliff: I hate to break it to you, but if people want to love you, there isn't really anything you can do to stop them.

Crazy: Look, let me tell you something. I'm starting to think that the world's always gonna need rescuing. But you gotta wonder... when you're out there saving the planet, who the fuck is rescuing you?

Marisol: This is so sad.
Maritza: I know. It's like when Van Gogh cut off his ear.
Marisol: How is it anything like that?
Maritza: I don't know, it's the only sad artist story I know.

Harrison: This doomed patrol is the El Dorado of psychological dysfunctions.

Jane: Do not engage with their mom. Be the bigger person.
Lina: That's so not her style.
Xiomara: It is too my style.
[walks away, cut]
Narrator: It was definitely not her style.

Crazy: Your options are endless, but also less than five.

Crazy: Oh my gosh, I know who you are. You're Cyborg.
Victor: In the flesh, and you are?
Crazy: Baby Doll, duh. I'm your biggest fan. You are so cool. Way cooler than the Flash.
Victor: You want to know a secret? He's not even that fast.

Crazy: Well, how do we stop them?
Willoughby: You're not paying attention. This isn't some threat you can just punch into submission.
Crazy: Yeah, well, everything you're saying just makes me want to kick their asses even more.

Crazy: Let's explode in peace and quiet.

Willoughby: That was a de-aging spell you... whatever the female equivalent of a dick-head is!
Crazy: Clit-head?

- I dug on your grave...
Hammerhead: That's enough, Polly.
[Polly] She started it!
Karen: Fuck all you do-nothing, hater bitches!
- At least I found true love.
- Where are you taking her?
Hammerhead: You know.

- We'll do it.
- Yes!
- But before we go into that painting, we should come up with a plan, first.
- Yeah.
Miranda: Okay.
- Guys?

Cliff: So, you want to go fuck these Immortus chumps up, or what?
Crazy: You bet your copper-plated ass.

Crazy: Does this work on other girls?
Johnny: Is it working on you?

[the inmates are in their underwear after a bed bug infestation has rendered their uniforms unwearable. CO Maxwell holds up a blue paper uniform]
Joe: Until every uniform in this prison is washed and rewashed, you will be wearing Office Depot's new fall line.
Marisol: I ain't wearing that fucking paper shit!
Maritza: That's my color. I'm wearing it.

Crazy: Holy shit, we're doomed.
Cliff: At least you got to have a fucking orgasm before you die.

Crazy: What kind of Captain Kangaroo, Jim Henson devilry is this?

Maritza: Never work with animals, children, or naked buttholes.

Crazy: Pretty, pretty Polly. Wake the fuck up. We're a construct. Kindness may be one of our only commodities.

The: As you guessed, this is an intervention.
Crazy: Your face is an intervention.

Rita: The real me, whether I blob or triumph, you were always the place that I returned to. You were my home.
Crazy: Okay, this is really beautiful, but if she doesn't hurry the fuck up, we're gonna fry.

Maritza: Okay, so what I'm doing now is contour and highlight. When I wasn't in prison, I would do this with a MAC Pro Palette and a #19 fan brush. But in here, I use 3 spices that you can find in any kitchen: cinnamon, cumin, and Sazon Goya. Yes, your face will smell like your abuela's pork, but listen, you gotta make sacrifices if you wanna look DIY fly like me.

Cliff: Bullshit! There's no such thing as time travel. 'Cause if there was, a certain sixth grade assbag named Jimmy Decker would've never pulled my pants down in assembly. And I never would've had the nickname "Cheeto Dick" for six years.
Crazy: That's what you would go back in time and fix?

Marisol: You're making my ass so happy right now. Those saggy prison panties have been depressing my cheeks. Like, I think they've been drooping from sadness.
Maritza: Yeah, me too. I gotta turn around my booty frown.

Crazy: Because I can think of better ways of wasting my time, like trying to eat my own face.

Niles: Are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms?
Crazy: Is being a pathetic piece of shit a withdrawal symptom?