1000 Best Doctor Who Quotes

Commander: So, I return to my command after one week and discover we've been playing host to Cleopatra. Who's in Egypt. And dead.

Isolus: I can go home. Goodbye, Chloe Webber. I love you.
[leaves Chloe's body]

The: [after intense discussion and arguing] Because I'm clever!

Cassandra: [as she is revealed as the mastermind behind the sabotage] I had hoped to manufacture a hostage situation, with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous.
The: Five billion years and it still comes down to money.
Cassandra: Do you think it's cheap looking like this? Flatness costs a fortune.

The: [the Doctor joins Bellows at a monitor] What am I looking at?
Bellows: Footage from a week ago. A side-expedition to our main mission.
The: What is your main mission?
Bellows: Long story.

Nardole: Only in darkness are we revealed. Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis.

Tommy: We don't even know where to start looking. It's too late.
The: "It's never too late," as a wise person once said. Kylie, I think.

The: I told you, you have one chance in a thousand, but one is all you ever need.

[last lines]
The: When did I first have those ideas, Clara?
Clara: Well, it must have been... Wow.
The: Exactly. Who composed Beethoven's 5th?

The: You haven't seen the last of me. "Bad Penny" is my middle name. Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form...

Donna: I made up the perfect man. Gorgeous, adores me, and hardly able to speak a word. What does that say about me?
The: [a little too quickly] Everything.
[Donna gives the Doctor a look]
The: Sorry, did I say "everything"? I meant to say "nothing". I was aiming for "nothing", accidentally said "everything".

[Gwyneth pours the Doctor, Rose, and Charles Dickens tea. Rose, meanwhile, is lashing out at Sneed for the events of the cadavers' attack]
Rose: First of all you drug me, then you kidnap me, and don't think I didn't feel your hands having a quick wander, you dirty old man!
[the Doctor sniggers]
Gabriel: I won't be spoken to like this!
Rose: Then you stuck me in a room full of zombies! And if that ain't enough, you swan off! And leave me to die! So come on, talk!
Gabriel: It's not my fault, it's this house! It always had a reputation. Haunted. But I never had much bother until a few months back. And then the stiffs...
[Dickens looks mildly offended]
Gabriel: ... the er, dear departed started getting restless.
Charles: Tommyrot.
Gabriel: You witnessed it! Can't keep the beggars down, sir! They walk. And it's the queerest thing that they hang on to scraps...
Gwyneth: [giving the Doctor his tea] Two sugars, sir, just how you like it.
[the Doctor looks at her, retreating back curiously]
Gabriel: One old fella who used to be a sexton almost walked into his own memorial service! Just like the old lady going to your performance, sir! Just as she planned.
Charles: Morbid fancy.
The: Oh, Charles, you were there.
Charles: I saw nothing but an illusion.
The: If you're going to deny it, don't waste my time. Just shut up.
[Dickens is stunned. The Doctor turns to Sneed]
The: What about the gas?
Gabriel: That's new, sir, never seen anything like that.
The: Means it's getting stronger, the rift's getting wider and something's sneaking through.
Rose: What's the rift?
The: A weak point in time and space. The connection between this place and another. That's the cause of ghost stories, most of the time.
Gabriel: [with revelation] That's how I got the house so cheap.
[Dickens sneaks out of the room unnoticed]
Gabriel: Stories going back generations. Echoes in the dark. Queer songs in the air and this feeling like a... shadow. Passing over your soul. Mind you, truth be told, it's been good for business. Just what people expect from a gloomy old trade like mine.

Liz: I am the bloody queen, mate. Basically, I rule.

Rory: After all I've done for the over-70's in this village!

Sam: [voice over as a typewriter prints the words] The address Grayle gave me was an apartment block near Battery Park. He said it was where the statues went.

[the Doctor has leapt out of bottom of the Brannigan's car onto a car a few feet below]
Valerie: He's completely insane.
Brannigan: That, and a little bit magnificent.

William: How can a man so young have eyes so old?
The: I do a lot of reading.

Missy: You also have not received the official welcome package...
Clara: [backing away quickly] Oh, I'm good, thanks, no worries!

Rose: You've got to tell me what's going on!
The: No, I don't.

The: [to young Karzan about the shark in his room] What do you call it when you don't have any feet, and you're taking a run up?

The: 3 of clubs
Eric: No.
The: Are you sure? Because I'm very good at card tricks.
Eric: It wasn't the 3 of clubs.
The: Well of course it wasn't, because it was... the seven of diamonds!
Eric: No.
The: Oi! Stop it. You're doing it wrong.

Jenny: Madame Vastra will ask you questions. You will confine yourself to single word responses. One word only. Do you understand?
Clara: Why?
Madame: Truth is singular. Lies are words, words, and words. You met the Doctor, didn't you?
Clara: Yes.
Madame: And, now, you've come looking for him again. Why?
Jenny: [as Clara hesitates] Take your time. One word only.
Clara: Curiosity.
Madame: About?
Clara: Snow.
Madame: And about him?
Clara: Yes.
Madame: What do you want from him?
Clara: Help.
Madame: Why?
Clara: Danger.
Madame: Why would he help *you*?
Clara: [taken aback] Kindness.
[Jenny looks to Madame Vastra]
Madame: The Doctor is not kind.
Clara: No?
Madame: No. The Doctor doesn't help people. Not anyone, not ever. He stands *above* this world and doesn't interfere in the affairs of its inhabitants. He is not your salvation, nor your protector. Do you understand what I am saying to you?
Clara: Words.
[Madame Vastra is now taken aback, her lie called out. Jenny looks proudly at Clara]
Madame: He was... different, once. A long time ago. Kind, yes. A hero, even. The saver of worlds. But he suffered losses that hurt him. Now, he prefers isolation to the possibility of pain's return. Kindly choose a word to indicate your understanding of this.
Clara: Man.
[Madame Vastra looks to Jenny, who imperceptibly but enthusiastically nods rapidly]

The: We are the legion of the beast. The legion shall be many; and the legion shall be free. He has woven himself in the fabric of your life since the dawn of time.

Rory: But I don't understand. Why am I here?
The: Because you are. The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and... ridiculous and sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles, and... that's a theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me.

The: [Putting on River's Vortex Manipulator] Rubbish way to time travel, but the universe is tiny now, we'll be fine.

The: Listen, it's lovely talking to you but I've really got to get on. I'm the caretaker now, look I've got a brush.

Emma: You didn't come her for the ghost, did you?
The: No.
Emma: You came here for me.
The: Yes.
Emma: Why?
The: I needed to ask you something.
Emma: Then ask.
The: Clara.
Emma: Yes?
The: What is she?
Emma: [taken aback] She's a girl.
The: Yes, but what kind of girl, specifically?
Emma: She's a perfectly ordinary girl. Very pretty, very clever, more scared than she lets on.
The: And that's it, is it?
Emma: Why? Is that not enough?

The: What's your name?
Midshipman Frame: Alonso.
The: You're kidding me.
Midshipman Frame: No, is something wrong?
The: Something else I've always wanted to say. Allons-y, Alonso!

Clara: Doctor!
The: Hello.
Clara: You're young again. You're okay... You didn't even change your face.
The: Ha! It's started, I can't stop it now, this is just the reset, a whole new regeneration cycle, ooh. Taking a bit longer, just breaking it in. It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment; like breath on a mirror. Any moment now, he's a comin'.
Clara: Who's comin'?
The: The Doctor.
Clara: You, you are The Doctor.
The: Yup, and I always will be. But times change, and so must I... Amelia.
Clara: Who is Amelia?
The: The first face this face saw. We all change, when you think about it, we're all different people; all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you've gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when The Doctor was me.
Amy: Raggedy Man... Goodnight.
Clara: No, no...
The: Hey...
Clara: Please don't change...

The: Except that implies - in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils - that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi gods and would-be gods - out of all that - out of that whole pantheon - if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her.

Dalek: We find it offensive to extinguish such divine hatred.
The: And I thought you had run out of ways to make me sick! You think hatred is beautiful?
Dalek: Perhaps that is why we have never been able to kill you!

The: I used to know a trick back when I was young and telepathic. Clearly you can't make an actual psychic link with a door for one very obvious reason: doors are notoriously cross. I mean, imagine life as a door, people keep pushing past you, all of that knocking, but it's never for you. And you get locked up every night. So, if you are just a little bit nice...
[door opens]
The: See Clara?
[realizes Clara is not there anymore]
The: Still got it.

[as he kills a man with the translater ball]
The: Have a nice day.

The: Are you married, River?
River: Are you asking?
The: Yes.
River: [suggestively] Yes.
The: [stammering] No, hang on. Did you think I was asking you to marry me or... or... or asking if you were married?
River: Yes.
The: No, but was that yes or *yes*?
River: Yes.

Martha: That wasn't very clever, running around outside, was it?
The: Sorry?
Martha: In Chancellor Street, this morning? Came up to me and took your tie off.
The: [amazed] Really? What'd I do that for?
Martha: I don't know, you just did.
The: Not me. I was here in bed. Ask the nurses.
Martha: Well, that's weird, 'cause it looked like you. Have you got a brother?
The: No, not anymore. Just me.

The: Do you know why I always win at chess? I have a secret move. I kick over the board.

Rory: Amy, what is it?
Amy: Something old, something new, something borrowed... something blue.

Rose: Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?
The: Well, I've got the moves, but I wouldn't want to boast.

[after landing with the TARDIS]
Martha: But are we safe? I mean, can we move around and stuff?
The: Of course we can. Why not?
Martha: It's like in those films: if you step on a butterfly, you change the future of the human race.
The: Then, don't step on any butterflies. What have butterflies ever done to you?

The: I promise I'll roll out the red carpet. It's red because it's drenched in the blood of people.

The: You wanted to come fourteen years ago. What happened?
Amy: I grew up.
The: [He smiles] Don't worry. I'll soon fix that.
[He snaps his fingers and the TARDIS's door opens]

The: No TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare... Who da man?
[blank stares from Prisoner Zero, Rory, and Amy]
The: [Mumbling] Oh, it's, I'm never saying that again, fine!

The: I wouldn't say that. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

The: [about Rose] Everything she did was so human. She brought you back to life, but she couldn't control it. She brought you back forever. That's something, I suppose. The final act of the Time War was life.
Captain: [working a power system panel] Do you think she could change me back?
The: I took the power out of her. She's gone, Jack. She's not just living on a parallel world. She's trapped there. The walls have closed.
Captain: I'm sorry.
The: Yeah.
Captain: I went back to her estate in the Nineties, just once or twice, watched her growing up. Never said hello, time lines and all that.
The: Do you want to die?
Captain: [pulling on a power system panel] This one's a little stuck.
The: Jack.
Captain: I thought I did. I don't know, but this lot, you see them out here surviving and that's fantastic.

The: Keep your faith. Travel hopefully. The universe will surprise you... constantly.

The: Don't worry. I put everything back the way I found it.
[holds a piece of wire]
The: Oh, except this. There's always a bit left over, isn't there?
[camera pans to show the Doctor is in the Apollo command module on the launch pad]

The: [just after leaving the ship inside the TARDIS] By the way, you'll be needing this.
[reveals a TARDIS key hanging on a string]
Martha: Really?
The: Frequent fliers privilege.
[Martha hold out both hands, excited; The Doctor places the key in her palms]
Martha: Thank you.
The: Don't mention it.

The: Everything's got to end sometime. Otherwise nothing would ever get started.

[hands his new landlord a paper bag full of money]
The: Yes, quite right, have some rent. That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell.

The: Professor, it's a wild stab in the dark, but I just may have found you a way out.
[Yana looks at the TARDIS with a horrified look on his face]

Oswin: Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract love, add anger. Doesn't she seem a bit too angry to you?
Amy: Well, somebody's never been to Scotland.

Rose: Is that why we're here? - I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?
The: I'm not saving it. Time's up.
Rose: But what about the people?
The: It's empty. They've all gone. No one left.
Rose: [silent; looks at the Earth] Just me then.
The: Who the hell are you?

Ironside: Please desist from striking me. I am your soldier.
The: You!
The: [strikes Dalek] Are!
The: [strikes Dalek] My!
The: [strikes Dalek twice more] *Enemy*! And I am yours! You are everything I despise! The worst thing in all creation. I've defeated you. Time and time again, I've defeated you. I sent you back into the Void! I saved the whole of Reality from you! I am the Doctor! And you are the Daleks!
[the Doctor kicks the Dalek hard and it rolls backwards across the room. From there, the Dalek slowly rotates its eye stalk to point forward again at the Doctor]
Ironside: Correct.

General: An intruder!
The: An intruder? How'd he get in? Intruder window.

The: Ah! Smell that air! Grass and lemonade! And a little bit of mint. Just a hint of mint. Must be the 1920s.
Donna: You can tell what year it is just by smelling?
The: Oh, yeah.
Donna: Or, maybe, that big vintage car coming up the drive gave it away.

The: [to the Doctor and Rose] This is fascinating. Satellite Five holds every piece of information within the fourth great and bountiful human empire. Birth certificates, shopping habits, bank statements. But you two... you don't exist.
[laughs]
The: Not a trace. No birth, no job, not the slightest kiss. How can you walk through the world and not leave a single footprint?

Tony: You are not making any sense, man.
The: Excuse me, I make perfect sense, you're just not keeping up.

[a Dalek is loose in an underground base]
Henry: I thought you were the great expert, Doctor, if you're so impressive, why not just reason with this Dalek? It must be willing to negotiate, there must be something that it needs, everything needs something.
The: What's the nearest town?
Henry: Salt Lake City.
The: Population?
Henry: One million.
The: All dead. If the Dalek gets out it'll murder every living creature that's all it needs.
Henry: But why would it do that?
The: Because it honestly believes they should die. Human beings are different, and anything different is wrong. It's the ultimate in racial clensing, and you, Van Statten, you've let it loose!

The: You really like junk. Are you collecting it, like stamps?

The: So who's in charge now? I need to know who to ignore.
Lunn: [translating for Cass as she signs] That'd be me.
[pauses then quickly gestures to Cass]
Lunn: Her!

Vivien: Mrs. Saxon, I have reason to believe that you are in very great danger. All of us, in fact. Not just the country, but the whole world.
[Lucy laughs]
Vivien: No, I beg of you. Hear me out.
Lucy: What are you talking about?
Vivien: Your husband is not who he says he is. I'm sorry, but it's a lie. Everything's a lie.

Captain: Aww, sweet, look at these two. How come I never get any of that?
The: Buy me a drink first.
Captain: You're such hard work.
The: But worth it.
[He grins in an extremely self-satisfied way]

Flemming: You need a head. I can get you a head fit for a king.

Jackie: Well, I reckon you're mad, the pair of you. It's like you go looking for trouble.
The: Trouble's just the bits in-between! It's all waiting out there, Jackie. And it's brand new to me - all those planets and creatures and horizons! I haven't seen them yet, not with these eyes. And it is gonna be... fantastic!

The: Help me lug this lot out.
Avery: Where are we taking it?
The: The ocean.
Avery: No! No. This is the treasure of the Mogul of India.
The: Oh, good. For a moment there I thought it was yours.

Psi: I still don't understand why you're in charge.
The: Basically, it's the eyebrows.

[shark is trying to break down the doors]
Kazran: It's going to eat us! It's going to eat us! It's going to eat us!
The: Well, maybe *we're* going to eat *it*, but I don't like the option!

The: Shakespeare. He really knew his stuff. They all did. The Ancients. Poets. All those sad songs. All those lullabies. Sleep is essential to every sentient being in the universe. But to humans, greedy, filthy, stupid humans, it's an inconvenience to be bartered away. Well, now we know the truth. Sleep isn't just a function. It's blessed. Every night we dive deep into that inky pool, deep into the arms of Morpheus. Every morning, we wake up and wipe the sleep from our eyes. That keeps us safe. Safe from the monsters inside.

Cathica: And three, two, and Spike.

The: I got the flight a bit wrong.
Rose: I don't care.
The: It's not 1860, it's 1869.
Rose: I don't care.
The: It's not Naples.
Rose: I don't care.
The: [unhappy] It's Cardiff!
Rose: Right...

Tasha: Attention. Attention all chapels and choirs of the Papal Mainframe. The siege of Trenzalore is now begun. There will now be an unscheduled faith change. From this moment on, I dedicate this church to one cause. Silence. The Doctor will not speak his name and war will not begin. Silence will fall.

[first lines]
[Clara is awakened by a clatter from the roof]
Santa: [from somewhere outside] Moron! Numbskull! Elf!
Ian: That's racist.
Santa: Of course it's not racist. You are an elf.

[last lines]
Lunn: Is it Moran or Pritchard or the mole guy? How'd - how'd they get out?
Clara: No, I don't think it's any of them; I think it's... a new ghost.
Lunn: What does that mean?
Clara: It means that something happened in the past. It means that somebody else must have... No. No-no-no-no.

[repeated lines]
Suit: Instruction received. Please remain calm while your central nervous system is disabled. Your life is in our hands.

The: Oh, all right it was worth a try. That's... that's Rose Tyler.
Rose: Sorry. Hello.
Yvonne: But if that's Rose Tyler, who is she?
Jackie: I'm her mother.
Yvonne: [addressing Doctor] Oh, you travel with her mother?
Jackie: He kidnapped me!
The: [to Yvonne] Please, when Torchwood comes to write my complete history... Don't tell people I traveled through time and space with her mother.
Jackie: [scoffs] Charming.
The: I've got a reputation to uphold!

Kazran: What kind of tie is that?
The: A cool one.

Amy: "Let's go to Ravan-Skala," he says. "The people are 600 feet tall, you have to talk to them in hot air balloons, and the Tourist Information Centre is made of one of their hats," he says. I'm sorry, I don't see any huge hats.
The: [giddy] Amy, Beaky, this could be the most exciting thing I've ever seen!
Rory: You're kidding.
Amy: How can you be excited about a rubbish hotel on a rubbish bit of Earth?
The: Because, assembled Ponds, this is not Earth. This has just been made to *look* like Earth. The craftsmanship involved... can you imagine?
Amy: What? Then where are we?
The: I dunno. Something must've yanked us off course. Look at the detail on that cheese plant!
[the Doctor takes a long whiff of one of the plant's leaves]
Rory: Right, but, who would mock-up an Earth hotel?
The: Colonists, maybe, recreating a bit of home, like when ex-pats open up english pubs in Majorca.
[the Doctor takes a bite out of an apple he's picked up]
The: No, whoever did this, I'm shaking his/her hand/tenticle.

Hutchinson: This could mean the difference between life and death for us.
Tim: Not for you and me.
Hutchinson: What are you babbling about?
Tim: We go to battle together... We fight alongside... I've seen it, not here, not now.
Hutchinson: What's that supposed to mean?
Tim: It means you and I both survive this and maybe... maybe I was given this watch so I could help... I'm sorry.
[he leaves]
Hutchinson: Latimer, you filthy coward!
Tim: Oh, yes, sir! Every time!

Reinette: There is a vessel in your world where the days of my life are pressed together like the chapters of a book so that he may step from one to the other without increase of age, while I, weary traveller, must always take the slower path.

The: Who's Amy? You were Amelia.
Amy: Yeah, now I'm Amy.
The: Amelia Pond. That was a great name.
Amy: Bit fairytale.

Madame: I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my disfigurement. I do not wear it as a courtesy to such people, but as a judgement on the quality of their hearts.

Bors: [after The Doctor made a big entrance on a tank doing a guitar version of the Doctor Who theme] Dude. What is that?
The: You said you wanted an axe fight.

Sarah: No. The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world, or a relationship... Everything has its time. And everything ends.

Donna: [to the Doctor] What is it? What else?
[the Doctor jolts his hands out, miming a shock]
Donna: Um, it's a song! 'Mammy'? Um, I don't know! 'Camptown Races'?
The: 'Camptown Races'?
Donna: Well! All right, then! 'Towering Inferno'!
The: It's a shock! Look, shock!
[he mimes again]
The: I need a shock!
Donna: Right, then. Big shock. Coming up.
[Donna grabs the Doctor and plants a full-frontal kiss on him. The Doctor staggers away, lifts his face up to the ceiling and releases a cloud of poisons from his body]
The: [gasps] Detox. Oh! I must do that more often.
[looks at Donna apprehensively]
The: I mean, the, the detox.
Agatha: Doctor. You are... impossible!
[the Doctor winks]
Agatha: Who are you?

Clara: You're going to fight it, aren't you?
The: Regrettably yes, I think I might be about to do that.
Clara: It's really big.
The: I've seen bigger.
Clara: Really?
The: Are you joking? It's massive!

Mrs. Harcourt: My leg's grown back! When I come to the hospital, I had one leg...
Doctor: Well, there is a war on... is it possible you miscounted?

Sycorax: If sho pa pass your planet ma we kas champion..."
Alex: [translating] "If this is the best your planet has for a champion..."
Sycorax: Then your world will be gutted...
Alex: "Then your would will be gutted..."
Sycorax: ...and your people enslaved.
Alex: Hold on, that's English.
Harriet: He's talking English!
Rose: You're talking English.
Sycorax: I would never dirty my tongue with your primitive bile!
Rose: That's English. Can you hear English?
Harriet: Yes.
Mickey: Yeah, that's English.
Alex: Definitely English.
Sycorax: [yelling] I speak only Sycoraxic!

Steadfast: They want to kill us.
The: No. They want to help you. Killing you is just a side effect.

Clara: Are you alien?
The: I am. Yes. Ok with that?
Clara: Yeah fine... Think I'm fine.

The: I can't help feeling that some of this is my fault.
Yasmin: Some? All of this is your fault!

The: She's out there now, licking her lips, boiling a saucepan, grating cheese.

[the Doctor uses a 4H pencil and a mug to explain how Donna was transported into the Tardis]
Donna: I'm a pencil inside a mug?
The: Yep! 4H, suits you, actually!

The: No damsels in distress, no pretty castles, no such thing as Robin Hood.
[an arrow hits the Tardis]
Robin: You called?

The: Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

Old: All those boys chasing me, but it was only ever Rory. Why was that?
Amy: You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they're as dull as a brick. Then there's other people and you meet them and you think, "Not bad, they're okay." And then you get to know them and... and they're face just sort of... becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just... they turn into something so beautiful.
Old: [Together] Rory's the most beautiful man I've ever met.

Mickey: So, what're you doing down there?
The: [muffled, due to the sonic screwdriver he's holding between his teeth] Rickey.
Mickey: Mickey.
The: [the Doctor takes the sonic screwdriver out of his mouth to make himself clearer] Rickey, If I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent time ship, would you even begin to understand?
Mickey: Well, I suppose not...
The: Well, shut it, then.

The: With great power comes great responsibility. No man worthy of the title leaves a baby alone.

Adam: Sorry. Um, Floor Sixteen? That's um, what do you cover?
Nurse: Medical. Non Emergency.
Adam: Right. Yeah. Wrong floor. I'm having technical difficulties. My screen keeps freezing. Blocking me out.
Nurse: No, that's medical. There must be something wrong with your chip.
Adam: Yes. Yeah, of course, yeah. I haven't got one.
Nurse: No wonder you can't get a screen to work. What are you, a student?
Adam: Yes. Yeah, I'm uh on a research project from the University of Mars.
Nurse: The Martian Boondocks... typical.
Adam: Yep.
Nurse: Well, you still need chipping.
Adam: So, does that mean like brain surgery?
Nurse: That's the old fashioned term, but it's the same thing, yes.

The: Get off my planet.

The: Take a look at him. That's why you don't stand a chance. You want to know why? He's actually left-handed.
[Grant is holding back the spaceship with his right hand]
Grant: Sorry, instinct. I couldn't let go of this.
[holds up the baby monitor in his left hand]

The: I think I've figured out a way to restore 3 dimensions.
[pauses]
The: At least at a small scale, say a door handle.
Clara: So what's that then? A de-flattener?
The: We're *not* calling it a de-flattener!
[Hands the device to Clara]
The: This should be able to restore dimensions. See what I called it?
Clara: [reads the symbols on the machine] Two D is. Two Dee Iz?
The: No. Twodis. It's called the Twodis.
[sigh]
The: Why'd I even bother?

Ironside: [to The Doctor] Would you care for some tea?
The: [smashes away tray and cup] Stop this! What are you doing here? *What* do you *want*?
Ironside: We seek only to help you.
The: To do what?
Ironside: To win the war!
The: Really? Which war?
Ironside: I do not understand.
The: This war, against the Nazis? Or your war? The war against the rest of the Universe? The war against all life-forms that are not Dalek?
Ironside: I do not understand. I am your soldier.
The: Oh, yeah? OK. OK.
Ironside: [picks up a giant spanner] OK, soldier, defend yourself!
[the Doctor proceeds to lay about the Dalek with the spanner]
Winston: Doctor, what the devil...?
Ironside: You do not require tea?

[the Controller is teleported onto the Dalek ship]
The: Oh, my masters. You can kill me for I have brought your destruction!
[she is exterminated]

Dalek: And the coward survived.
The: Oh, and I caught your little signal, help me, poor little thing. But there's no-one else coming cause there's no-one else left.
Dalek: I am alone in the universe.
The: Yep.
Dalek: So are you. We are the same.
The: We're not the same! I'm not the... No, wait, maybe we are... Yeah, right, yeah, okay. You've got a point 'cause I know what to do. I know what should happen. I know what you deserve. Exterminate!
[he flips a switch which begins to electrocute the Dalek]

[last lines]
Rassmussen: Excuse me. You've got something... there, just in the corner of your eye.

The: I ask you, how much hope has this man got?
[to the Doctor]
The: Say hello, Gandalf... Except, he's not that old. But he's an alien with a much greater lifespan than you, stunted little apes. What if it showed?
[to The Doctor]
The: What if I suspend your capacity to regenerate? All nine hundred years of your life, Doctor. What if we could see them?

Thirteenth: A wise person once said to me, "Good-byes only hurt because what came before was so special."

[series 6 opener for non-UK markets]
Amy: When I was a little girl I had an imaginary friend and when I grew up he came back. He's called The Doctor. He comes from somewhere else. He's got a box called the TARDIS that's bigger on the inside and can travel anywhere in time and space. I ran away with him and we've been running ever since.

The: [Clara has just been beamed from the Mire's ship] Clara! Clara!
[He stops running towards her and gives her a thumbs-up]
The: I'm not a hugger.
[He swoops her up and twirls her around]
The: Oh, and this is not a hug!

The: Allons-y!

O'Donnell: [jumping up and down in excitement] It's bigger on the inside. It's bigger on the inside. It's bigger on the inside. How can it be bigger on the inside, Bennet?

The: You are Amelia Pond.
Amy: You're ugly. Hasn't anyone mentioned that to you?

Donna: Rocket. Blimey, a real proper rocket. Now that's what I call a spaceship.
[to the Doctor]
Donna: You've got a box, he's got a Ferrari.

The: What's the book?
River: Oh, it's my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on a spaceship.
The: Is it sad?
River: Why would a diary be sad?
The: I don't know. It's just that you look sad.
River: It's nearly full.
The: So?
River: The man who gave me this was the sort of man who'd know exactly how long a diary you were going to need.
The: He sounds awful.
River: I suppose he is. I've never really thought about it.
The: Not somebody special then?
River: No. But terribly useful every now and then.

Empress: [sees a cloaked android walking up the steps, Donna wears a look of horror] My children climb towards me, and none shall stop them! So you might as well unmask, my clever little Doctorman!
The: [pulls off the cloak] Oh well, nice try!
[pulls out sonic screwdriver and points it to the web]
The: I've got you Donna!
Donna: I'm gonna fall!
The: No you're not, you're gonna swing! I've got ya!
[she swings in a whole level under his stairs and falls; silence as pipes clatter to the ground]
The: Oh! Sorry...
Donna: [pan to Donna flat on the ground] *Thanks* for *nothing!*
Empress: The Doctorman amuses me!
The: Empress of the Racnoss, I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet, I can find you and your children a place in the universe to coexist. Take that offer and end this *now*.
Empress: [hisses] These men are so funny!
The: What's your answer?
Empress: [scoffs] I'm afraid I'll have to decline!
[cackles]
The: Then what happens next is your own doing.
Empress: I'll show you what happens next!
[hisses, then calls to her Roboforms]
Empress: At arms!
[They raise their weapons]
Empress: Take aim!
[They aim at the Doctor]
Empress: And...
The: Relax.
[They suddenly deactivate and power down]

Winston: Well? What happened?
The: Nothing.
Winston: Nothing?
The: Nothing happened. And then it kept happening. Or, if you prefer, everything happened at once, and it won't ever stop. Time is dying. It's going to be 5:02 in the afternoon for all eternity. A needle stuck on a record.
Winston: A record? Good Lord, man, have you never heard of downloads?
The: Said Winston Churchill.

Twelfth: Oh. There it is. Silly old universe. The more I save it, the more it needs saving. It's a treadmill.
[the TARDIS makes soft chirping noises to the Doctor]
Twelfth: Yes, yes I know. They'll get it all wrong without me.
[pauses]
Twelfth: Well... I suppose one more lifetime won't kill anyone. Well... except me.
[looks down at his hand, glowing with regeneration energy, then wearily looks back up at the TARDIS]
Twelfth: You wait a moment, Doctor. Let's get it right. I've got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first: Never be cruel, never be cowardly, and never ever eat pears! Remember, hate is always foolish, but love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Oh. And you mustn't tell anyone your name.
[smiles to himself]
Twelfth: No one would understand it, anyway! Except...
[cries out suddenly in pain, crumples to the ground, gasps for breath]
Twelfth: Except... children. Children can hear it sometimes, if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too. Children can hear your name. But nobody else.
[slowly and painfully rises back up to his feet]
Twelfth: Nobody else. EVER.
[stands up, tall and proudly]
Twelfth: Laugh hard. Run fast. BE KIND.
[a pause, then softly]
Twelfth: Doctor, I let you go.

Harriet: [flashing her passport] Harriet Jones... former Prime Minister.
Martha: Yes. I know who you are.

The: [the Tardis is gone] It's the Sontarans; they've taken it. I'm stuck... on Earth like... like an ordinary person. Like a human! How rubbish is that? Sorry, no offense. But come on!

[first lines]
Darla: [voice over] First there were the Daleks. And then there was a man who fought them. And then, in time, he died. There are a few, of course, who believe this man somehow survived and that one day he will return. For both our sakes, dearest Hannah, we must hope these stories are true.

The: But who designed this, Lucius, hm? Who gave you these instructions?
Lucius: I think you've babbled enough.
The: Lucius, really, tell me. Honestly, I'm on your side. I can help.
Lucius: You insult the Gods! There can be only one sentence.
Lucius: [to soldiers] At arms!
[soldiers pull their swords on the Doctor, who backs away]
The: Oh. Morituri te salutant.
Lucius: Celtic prayers won't help you now.

The: Funny little human brains... How do you get around in those things?
Rose: When he's stressed, he likes to insult species.
The: Rose, I'm thinking.
Rose: Cuts himself shaving, does half an hour on life forms he's cleverer than.

General: I'll put this country under martial law if I have to.
Joseph: Ohh, I'm so scared! That's hair-raising, I mean, literally. Look!
["unzips" the top of his forehead, underneath which there is a very bright blue light. Asquith looks and sees Oliver Charles and Margaret Blaine doing the same thing]

The: All I need to do is expel it. If I concentrate, shift the radiation... out my body into one spot... inside my left shoe. Here we go. Here we go. Easy does it.
The: [jumps up and down shaking his left foot] Out! Out! Ow, ow, ow. Ow. ow, ow, ah! Hah, hah, itches! Itches! Itches! Itches! Oh, ooh, hold on...
The: [then rips off his shoe and throws it in a trash can] There we go! Done.
Martha: You're completely mad.
The: You're right. I look daft with one shoe.
[takes off other shoe and chucks it in the same bin]
The: Barefoot on the moon!

Joseph: Thank you all for wearing your ID cards!
[pause]
Joseph: They'll help to identify the bodies!
[presses a switch that electrocutes everyone in the room]

The: I'll give you a fiver if you can tell me what the hell it is, cause I haven't got the foggiest.

The: It's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands! No, neither do I.

The: It's simply misunderstandable to me. I don't know what it is. Who invented this room?
Clara: Doctor, please, you have to lie down.
The: It doesn't make any sense. Look, it's only got a bed in it. Why is there only a bed in it?
Clara: Because it's a bedroom, it's for sleeping in.
The: Okay, what do you do when you're awake?
Jenny: You leave the room.

The: Gotta dash. Things happening. Well, four things. Well, four things and a lizard.

Martha: [about Jack] It's a bit odd though, not very hundred trillion. That coat looks more like World War two.
The: I think he came with us.
Martha: How d'you mean? From Earth?
The: Must have been clinging to the outside of the TARDIS. All the way through the Vortex. Well, that's very him.
Martha: What, do you know him?
The: Friend of mine. Used to travel with me. Back in the old days.
Martha: But he's... I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat. There's nothing. He's dead.
[Jack suddenly wakes up gasping loudly, which causes Martha to scream; Jack grabs onto her as he tries to recover]
Martha: Oh, so much for me.

The: His friends are lost forever more. Unless he goes to Trenzalore.

River: [hears a loud screeching] What is that? Dear God, what is it?
Octavian: They're back.
Bob: It's hard to put in your terms, Doctor Song, but as best as I understand it, the Angels are laughing.
The: Laughing?
Bob: Because you haven't noticed yet, sir. The Doctor in the TARDIS hasn't noticed.

Cyberman: You will be deleted
The: But we surrender!

The: Something is wrong. I can taste it. Tiny little shift in the information. Someone down there shouldn't be here.

Sarah: [to Rose while pushing a malfunctioning Dalek out of the way] Good seeing you again!
Rose: [helping Sarah Jane push] Yeah, you too!

Rose: [watching the Dalek being tortured] It's being tortured. Where's the Doctor?

Ashildr: I'm afraid no intruder leaves this place without a memory wipe, with respect, that will include you.
Clara: Oh, the hell it will!

The: Lost causes are my specialty.

Lilith: But your heart grows cold / The north wind blows / And carries down the distant... Rose?
The: Oooh, big mistake! Because that name keeps me fighting!

Reinette: I have seen your world and I have no desire to set foot there again.
Clockwork: We do not require your feet.

The: What sort of a person has a power complex about flowers? It's dictatorship for inadequates. Or to put it another way, it's dictatorship.

Professor: You think there's danger here?
The: Something came to this library and killed everything in it. Killed a whole world. Danger? Could be.
Professor: That was 100 years ago. The library's been silent for 100 years. Whatever came here is long dead.
The: Bet your life?
Professor: Always.

The: Go to your room. I mean it, I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross. Go to your room!
[the mask creatures leave]
The: I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

The: Tell me the whole plan!
[No one answers]
The: One of these days, that will work.

The: D'you know how long you can knock around space without happening to bump into Earth?
Rose: Five days? Or is that just when we're out of milk?
The: All the species in all the universe and it has to come out of a cow!

[first lines]
Gabriel: Sneed and Company offer their sincerest condolences, sir, in this most trying hour.
Redpath: Grandmama had a good innings, Mr. Sneed. She was so full of life. I can't believe she's gone.
Gabriel: Not gone, Mr. Redpath. Merely sleeping.
Redpath: May I have a moment?
Gabriel: Yes, of course. I shall be in the next room should you require anything.
[after Sneed leaves, the body rises up and strangles Redpath. Sneed rushes back in]
Gabriel: Oh, no. Gwyneth! Get down here now! We've got another one!

The: [drunk] Have you met the French? My God they know how to party!
Rose: Oh look at what the cat dragged in, the oncoming storm.
The: You sound just like your mother.
Rose: What have you been doing? Where have you been?
The: Well, among other things, I *think* I may have just invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early.

The: [On recognising The Doctor] They'll kill you.

Solana: I'd now like to point out a new innovation from Ood Operations. We've introduced a variety package with the Ood Translator Ball. You can now have the Standard Setting.
[to Ood 1]
Solana: How are you today, Ood?
Ood: [ordinary Ood voice] I'm perfectly well, thank you.
Solana: Or perhaps, after a stressful day, a little something for the gentlemen.
[to Ood 2]
Solana: And how are you, Ood?
Ood: [husky female voice] All the better for seeing you.
Solana: And the comedy classic.
[to Ood 3]
Solana: Ood, you've dropped something.
Ood: [in the voice of Homer Simpson] D'oh!

Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Well... this is... different...
Rose: Cassandra?
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Goodness me, I'm a man. Yum. So many parts. And hardly used.
[starts jerking around]
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Ah, ah! Two hearts! Oh baby, I'm beating out a samba!
Rose: Get out of him!
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Ooh, he's slim... and a little bit foxy. You thought so too; I've been inside your head. You've been looking. You *like* it.

The: Three minutes to align the black-hole converters. Counting down! I never could resist a ticking clock... My children! Are you ready?
Toclafane: We'll fly and blaze and slice! We'll fly and blaze and slice!
The: At zero, to mark this day, the child Martha Jones will die.
[grins]
The: My first blood.

Donna: [notices Rose Tyler's clothing and picks it up] I knew it. Acting all innocent. I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?
The: [after a long pause] That's my friend's.
Donna: Where is she? Hopped out for a spacewalk?
The: She's gone.
Donna: Gone where?
The: I lost her.

Madame: Do you understand it? Oh don't worry I a long long way away. I like to keep tabs on you. The child, what do you think?
The: What is she?
Madame: Hope! Hope in this endless bitter war.
The: War? Against Who?
Madame: Against you, Doctor.
The: A child is not a weapon.
Madame: Oh but given time, she can be. She will be.
The: Except you've lost her, and I swear I'll never ever let you near her again.
Madame: Oh Doctor, fooling you once was a joy; but fooling you twice, the same way, it's a privilege!

The: [over the intercome] Keep moving fast as you can. And, Martha, be careful. There may be something else onboard the ship.
Martha: [sarcastically] Any time you want to unnerve me, feel free.
The: Will do, thanks.

General: ...where to find the Source.
The: Ooh, the Source. What's that then; what's the Source? I like a Source. What is it?
General: The Breath of Life.
The: And that would be?
Cline: "In the beginning, the Great One breathed life into the universe. And then she looked at what she'd done, and she sighed."
Jenny: Hmm, 'She'; I like that.

Lieutenent: Cline, at Arms!
Donna: [Cline cocks and aims his gun at Donna and the Doctor] Oi, Oi! Alright, cool the beans, Rambo!
Lieutenent: Take them. I won't have them spreading treason. And if you try anything, Doctor, I'll see that your woman dies first.
Donna: [the Doctor and Donna at the same time] I'm not his woman.
The: Oh, no no no. No, we're not a couple!

Solana: [addressing the Doctor and Donna] Doctor Noble, Mrs. Noble, if you'd like to come with me.
The: [rapid fire with Donna's lines] Oh, no. No, no, no. We're not married.
Donna: *So* not married.
The: Never.
Donna: Never, ever!
Solana: [politely] Of course.

[the Master uses a weapon on Jack]
The: Laser Screwdriver. Who'd have sonic? And the best part is he isn't dead for long, I get to kill him again!

Rory: Amy, I thought I'd lost you.
Amy: What, 'cause I got sucked into the Earth? You're so clingy.

The: [held at gunpoint on the Scottish highlands] 1879. Same difference.
Reynolds: You will explain your presence, and the nakedness of this girl.
The: [Scottish accent] Are we in Scotland?
Reynolds: How can you be ignorant of that?
The: Oh, I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this wee naked child over hill and over dale. Isn't that right, you... tim'rous beastie?
Rose: [terrible Scottish accent] Och aye! I've been oot and aboot!
The: [normal voice] No, don't do that.
Rose: Hoots mon!
The: No, really don't. *Really*.

Clara: Oh my stars!

The: [taking Rose's mobile phone] Tell ya what... with a little bit of jiggery pokery...
Rose: Is that a technical term, jiggery pokery?
The: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
Rose: Nah, I failed hullabaloo.

The: Never be cruel, and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends.

[after spending all day hiding in a toilet stall, Donna emerges, but then gets a call from her mother, and hides back in the stall]
Donna: Not now!
Sylvia: I need the car. Where are you?
Donna: [improvising, and whispering] The car went missing!
Sylvia: Why are you whispering?
Donna: I'm in church.
Sylvia: What would you do in church?
Donna: I'm praying.
Sylvia: [scoffs] A bit late for that, I imagine.
Wilfred: What's she in church for?
Sylvia: Hush, you! Go up the hill.
[to Donna]
Sylvia: Well, I need the car. I'm going out with Suzette Chambers. She's asked all the Wednesday girls. Apparently she's been on those ADIPOSE pills. She says she looks marvelous.
[Donna hangs up because Miss Foster and her bodyguards have burst into the bathroom and are looking for her]
Miss: We know you're in here. So let's make this nice and easy and show yourself.
[Donna puts her feet up to hide herself]
Miss: I'm waiting. I warn you, I'm not a patient woman, so out you come!
[nothing]
Miss: Right, we'll do it the hard way.
[to her bodyguards]
Miss: Get her!
1st: [kicks open each stall's door. He does this four times. On the fifth door, he bursts down the door to reveal Penny Carter]
Miss: [lowers her glasses] There you are.
[takes Penny into custody]
Penny: I've been through the records, Foster, and all of your results have been faked! There's something about those pills that you're not telling us!
Miss: Oh, I think I'll be conducting this interview, Penny.
[Donna looks on as Miss Foster and her bodyguards take Penny away]

[last lines]
The: And so it came to pass that the human race fell, and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion as Master of all; and I thought it good.

The: Look at me, I'm stupid!

Clara: [on the phone] You're always showing me amazing things. Well, I, Doctor, have finally got something amazing to show you.
The: Yes, well, there are some things that I've never seen, but that's usually because I've chosen not to see them. Even my incredibly long life is too short for Les Miserables.

The: Pantophobia.
Alex: What?
The: That's what it's called. Pantophobia. Not fear of pants though, if that's what you're thinking. Fear of everything... including pants I suppose. In that case, sorry go on.

The: [to the Dream Lord] Only one person in the universe hates me as much as you do.
The: [later, to Amy & Rory] Sorry, wasn't it obvious? The Dream Lord was me.

Clara: What if the plan is we're blowing up the floor for someone else? What if we're not supposed to make it out alive?
The: Don't be so pessimistic, it'll affect team morale.
Clara: What, and getting us blown up won't?
The: Only very, very briefly.

Nardole: [to Dahh-Ren] Some of my best friends are bluish.

The: Oh my...
[looks at the earth]
The: I've made this world!

The: If I'd known we were gonna get a royal visit I'd have put the kettle on.

Harriet: [holds up card] Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.
various: Yes, we know who you are.

The: The Medusa Cascade. I came here when I was just a kid, ninety years old.

Bill: [exiting the Tardis] We've moved again.
The: We have.
Bill: But it was night.
The: Yep.
Bill: Now it's day.
The: Definitely day.
Bill: Oh my god, have we travelled in time?
The: No, of course not. We've travelled to Australia.

The: An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog and some other aliens who are about to incinerate your house. Any questions? Me too.

Rose: You're all the same. Give a man a plastic hand...

The: The Macra used to be the scourge of this galaxy. Gas... they fed off gas, the filthier the better. They built up a small Empire, using humans as slaves and mining gas for food.
Businessman: They don't exactly look like empire-builders to me.
The: Well, that was billions of years ago. Billions. They must have devolved down here; now they're just beasts. But they're still hungry. And my friend's down there.

The: They survived, they always survive, while I lose everything...
Tallulah: The metal thing? What was it?
The: It's called a Dalek. And it's not just metal, it's alive.
Tallulah: You're kidding me.
The: Do I look like I'm kidding? Inside that shell, there's a creature born to hate... whose only thought is to destroy everything and everyone that isn't a Dalek too. It won't stop until it's killed every human being alive.
Tallulah: But if that's not a human being, that kinda implies... it's from outer space.
[beat]
Tallulah: Yet again, that's a no with the kidding, oy.

Cassandra: [having just re-entered] Oh, chavtastic.

The: Doctor who?

Cathy: [talking about mysterious deaths connected to the "Blaidd Drwg" project] And then just recently Mr. Cleaver, the government's nuclear advisor?
Margaret: Slipped on an icy patch.
Cathy: He was decapitated!
Margaret: It was a *very* icy patch.

The: You know, sometimes winning... winning is no fun at all.

The: We found something. Some sort of seal, looks like it's some sort of metal. I've got a nasty feeling that the word is 'trapdoor.' Not a good word, 'trapdoor.' Never met a trapdoor I liked...

The: Oi! I'm trying to listen!

[Rory, Ambrose and Tony enter the room in which Alaya is being kept prisoner]
Alaya: You had to come and see me.
Rory: We are going to keep you safe.
Ambrose: Your tribe are going to give us back our people, in exchange for you.
Alaya: No.
[walks towards others, but is held back by chain]
Alaya: Shall I tell you what's really going to happen, apes? One of you will kill me. My death shall ignite a war, and every stinking ape shall be wiped from the surface of my beloved planet.
Tony: We won't allow that to happen.
Alaya: I know apes better than you know yourselves. I know which one of you will kill me. Do you?

The: There was a goblin, or a... trickster. Or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or... reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

The: I'll tell you what, let's just pop into my box.
Bill: Your box? What good is getting in your box going to do?
The: What an extraordinarily long and involved answer this is going to be.

River: The Doctor might have mentioned me?
Clara: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, of course he has. Professor Song. Sorry, it's just that I never realized you were a woman.
Strax: Well, neither did I.

The: Go! and take Arthur!
Rose: Arthur?
The: Fine name for a horse.
Rose: No you can't keep the horse.
The: Why not? I let you keep Mickey! Now go!

The: What have you done?
Rose: I looked into the TARDIS and the TARDIS looked into me.
The: You looked into the time vortex, Rose, nobody is supposed to see that!
Emperor: This is the abomination!
Dalek: Exterminate!
[Dalek shoots at her with its laser, but Rose lifts up her hand and stops it, reversing it back into the Dalek, the Doctor looks on in surprise]
Rose: I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words...
[Rose lifts her hand and takes the words from the Bad Wolf Corporation sign]
Rose: ...I scatter them, in time and space.
[the words float off away from them]
Rose: A message, to lead myself here.
The: Rose, you've got to stop this, you've got to stop this now! You've got the entire vortex running through your head! You're gonna burn!
Rose: I want you safe, my Doctor. Protected from the false God.
Emperor: You cannot hurt me. I am immortal.
Rose: You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space, every single atom of your existence, and I divide them.
[Rose lifts her hand again, the Dalek that tried to shoot her disappears in an explosion of golden dust]
Rose: Everything must come to dust. All things, everything dies.

William: 'Close up this din of hateful dire decay / Decomposition of your witches' plot! / You thieve my brains, consider me your toy / My doting doctor tells me I am not!'
Lilith: No! Words of power!
William: 'Foul Carrionite specters, cease your show / Between the points... '
[he looks to The Doctor for help]
The: 761390!
William: '761390! / Banished like a tinker's cuss / I say to thee... '
[he again looks to The Doctor]
The: Uh...
[he looks to Martha]
Martha: Expelliarmus!
The: Expelliarmus!
William: 'Expelliarmus!'
The: Good old JK!

The: Here we go.
[Hands his coat to Brannigan]
The: Looks after this. I love that coat. Janis Joplin gave me that coat.

Other: Who is he? You haven't even told us. You just expect us to trust him.
River: He's the Doctor.
Strackman Lux: And who is the Doctor?
River: The only story you'll ever tell, if you survive him.
Anita: You say he's your friend, but he doesn't even know who you are.
River: Listen, all you need to know is this: I'd trust that man to the end of the universe. And, actually, we've been.
Anita: He doesn't act like he trusts you.
River: Yeah, there's a tiny problem. He hasn't met me yet.

Henry: [to Adam and Rose] Why don't you two go and canoodle, or spoon, or whatever it is you English do.

The: So the year five billion, the sun expands, the earth gets roasted...
Rose: That was our first date.
The: We had chips!

The: Hold on, I know that lot.
[see group of people walking with commentator in the background]
The: UNIT. United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. Good people.
Rose: How'd you know 'em?
Mickey: 'Cause he's worked for them. Oh yeah, don't think I sat on my backside for twelve months, Doctor. I read up on you. You look deep enough on the Internet, or in the history books, and there's his name... followed by a list of the dead.
The: That's nice. Good boy, Ricky.

[last lines]
River: It's the TARDIS translation matrix. It takes a while to kick in with the written word. You have to concentrate.
[Amy looks at the etching on the crib]
Amy: [levels the gun at River again] I still can't read it.
[Rory grasps Amy's hands and gently takes the gun from her]
River: It's because it's Gallifreyan and doesn't translate.
River: [picks up the prayer leaf and places it in Amy's right hand] But this will. It's your daughter's name in the language of the Forest.
Amy: I know my daughter's name!
River: Except, they don't have a word for "pond," 'cause the only water in the Forest is the river. The Doctor *will* find your daughter, and he will care for her, whatever it takes, and I know that.
[as Amy looks at the back of the prayer leaf, its stitched lettering changes to "River". Amy turns it over and the front side has already translated to "Song"]
River: It's me. I'm Melody. I'm your daughter.

Missy: You know, back in the day, I burned an entire city to the ground just to see the pretty shapes the smoke made. I'm sorry your Plus One doesn't get a happy ending. But like it or not, I just saved this world because I WANT to change. Your version of "good" is not absolute. It's vain and arrogant and sentimental. If you're waiting for me to become all that, I'm going to be here for a long time yet.

Amy: [Avery has warned Amy of the dangers of wielding a cutlass] That's *actually* why I'm pointing it at you!

The: [the Doctor believes Rose has been killed by the Dalek] I could have killed that Dalek in its cell. But you stopped me.
Henry: It was the prize of my collection!
The: Your collection? Well, was it worth it? Worth all those men's deaths? Worth Rose? Let me tell you something, Van Statten, mankind goes into space to explore, to be part of something greater.
Henry: Exactly! I wanted to touch the stars!
The: You just want to drag the stars down and stick them underground beneath tons of sand and dirt and label them. You're about as far from the stars as you can get. And you took her down with you.

Rose: Good job my mum's not here, she'd be fighting the wolf off with her bare hands for that.
The: And she'd win.

The: A glorious day. Downing Street rebuilt. The cabinet in session. Let the work of government begin.
[throws dossiers into the air]

Twelfth: [to Missy and the Master] You two should know by now, when you're winning and I'm in the room you're missing something.

The: Using hypersonic soundwaves to create a state of resonance... That's inspired.
Professor: You understand the theory then.
The: Enough to know that you couldn't possibly have allowed for all the variables.
Professor: No experiment is entirely without risk.
The: That thing nearly exploded. You might as well have stepped into a blender.

The: Tell me who you are.
The: Since that information is keeping us alive, I'm hardly going to tell you, am I?

Rory: Hello, Mr. Nainby.
The: Rory!
Rory: Mr. Nainby ran the sweets shop. He used to slip me the odd free toffee.
[Mr. Nainby grabs Rory by the collar]
Rory: Did I not say 'thank you'?

Liz: What are you doing?
The: [Adjusting machinery] The worst thing I'll ever do. I'm going to pass a massive electrical charge through the Star Whale's brain - should knock out its higher functions, leaving it a vegetable. The ship will still fly, but the whale won't feel it.
Amy: That'll be like killing it.
The: Look, three options: One, I let the Star Whale continue, in unendurable agony for hundreds more years; Two, I kill everyone on this ship; Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then, I... I find a new name, because I won't be The Doctor anymore.
Liz: There must be something we can do, there must be another way...
The: Nobody talk to me. Nobody
[violently slams hand down on console]
The: *HUMAN* has anything to say to me today!

Amy: You didn't save me.
Rory: [shudders] Bu- *This* is the saving! This is the us saving you! The Doctor just got the
Rory: [shouting aside, enraged] *timing a bit out*!
The: [mouthing] Sorry.

House: Fear me! I've killed hundreds of Time Lords!
The: [to himself] Fear me. I've killed all of them.

The: Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones. But you still have to choose.

Amy: Oh please, have you always been this disgusting?
The: No. That's recent.

The: Cab for Amy Pond?

The: What the hell are you doing?
Amy: Changing the future. Its called marriage.

Businessman: What the hell are they?
[the smog clears to reveal giant crabs]
The: Macra.

Rose: Right - there's a spaceship on the Thames and you're just 'wandering'.
The: Nothing to do with me! It's not an invasion! That was a genuine crash landing. Angle of descent, colour of smoke, everything! It's perfect!
Rose: So...
The: So maybe this is it! First contact! The day mankind officially comes into contact with an alien race. I'm not interfering because you've got to handle this on your own. That's when the human race finally grows up. Just this morning you were all tiny and small and made of clay! Now you can expand!

Lorna: I met you once. In the Gamma Forests.
Lorna: [a tear escapes] You don't remember me.
The: Hey, of course I remember.
The: [cups her cheeks] I remember everyone.
The: [wipes her tear] Hey, we ran, you and me.
[Lorna's sad expression deepens to dispair, realizing he'd got it wrong, he doesn't remember]
The: Didn't we run, Lorna?
[with another tear, Lorna takes her last breath and dies]
The: Who was she?
Madame: I don't know, but she was very brave.
The: They're always brave. They're always brave.

[Rose and Captain Jack are standing on his space ship which is tied to Big Ben]
Rose: Do you have the time?

Amy: 'cos here's the deal. You take me too. In the Tardis. Me too.
Rory: But that means there'd be two of you. Permanently. Forever.
Amy: And that means we both get to live.
Rory: [to the Doctor] Two Amys. Together. Can that work?
The: [In the Tardis, watching] I don't know. It's your marriage.

The: Four knocks. It's always four knocks.

Clara: The universe is full of testosterone. Trust me, it's unbearable.

Mr. Stoker: That's only to be expected. There's a thunderstorm moving in and lightning is a form of static electricity, as was first proven by - anyone?
The: Benjamin Franklin.
Mr. Stoker: Correct.
The: My mate Ben. That was a day and a half: I got rope burns off that kite, and then I got soaked...
Mr. Stoker: ...Quite.
The: ...and then I got electrocuted!
Mr. Stoker: Moving on.
Mr. Stoker: [to a nurse] I think perhaps a visit from psychiatric.

The: Shall we pop over and have a look? Pretty sure no one's on board.
Nardole: How do you know? Did you scan for life forms?
The: No. All the lights are off .

Amy: Can we not do the running thing?

Cybermen: We have been upgraded.
The: Into what?
Cybermen: The next stage of mankind. We are human point two.

[repeated line]
Ice: That's the way to do it!

The: Oh, you are beautiful! No really, you are, you're gorgeous! Space-age clockwork, I love it, I've got chills! Listen, I mean this from the heart- and by the way, count those- it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism to disassemble you. But that won't stop me.

Rory: We have two lives. Real life and Doctor life. Doesn't feel like real life gets much of a look-in.
Amy: What do we do?
Rory: Choose.
[sounds of the Tardis appearing]
Amy: Not today, though.
Rory: No, not today.

The: It's good I'm Scottish. I'm Scottish. I am... Scottish. I can complain about things, I can really complain about things now.

The: Zellin's a mythical name, way beyond this universe. Zellin was thought to be a god.
Zellin: I blush.

The: Six billion people? Watching you two work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from.

The: They want to overthrow the Earth and destroy you. Do you believe me?
Rose: No.
The: But you're still listening.

Dalek: I flewww into the wild and fire... I danced and died a thousand times...

Madame: You're giving up? You never do that!
The: Yeah, and don't you sometimes wish that I did?

Nagata: Could be anything. Meteorite strike. Space pirates.
Clara: Ah, see? Not just pirates, SPACE pirates.

Elton: Turns out I've had the most terrible things happen. And the most brilliant things. And sometimes, well, I can't tell the difference. They're all the same thing. They're... they're just me. You know, Stephen King said once, he said, "salvation and damnation are the same thing." And I never knew what he meant. But I do now.

The: What could they do?
[to Nardole]
The: What do you depend on?
Nardole: Air, water, food, beer.

River: Hang on a minute. I recognise that planet.
The: Well, that's nice. Maybe they'll name the crater after us.
River: That's Darillium!
The: Always good to know where we're going. Could you concentrate on your work, please?
River: You know, the Singing Towers.
The: Yes, I'll be sure to give them a wave as we zoom past.
River: You always say you're going to take me there for dinner and then you always cancel at the last minute.
The: I'd quite like to cancel this time too, if at all possible.

Rose: [On the Cybermen] They're people?
The: They were. Now they've had all their humanity taken away. That's a living brain jammed inside a cybernetic body, with a heart of steel. All emotions removed.
Rose: Why no emotion?
The: Because it hurts.

The: I'm stupid. Really stupid. Can you believe how stupid I am?
Graham: Is that a rhetorical question?
The: I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. There's too many things going on, too many variables. My brain is too crowded!
Judy: [softly, to Graham] What is she talking about?
Graham: No idea, you get used to it, she normally explains in the end.

The: Alright! It's a work in progress, but so's life. It'll be fine.

Pete: [Rose has travelled back in time and saved her father's life when he was supposed to have died when she was just a baby. By doing so she has inadvertently doomed the human race] Your friend... he said "This is all your fault." What did he mean by that?
Rose: Dunno. It's just... it just is.
Pete: [hesitantly] I gave you my car keys. You don't give your car keys to a complete stranger.
[slowly begins walking towards her]
Pete: I trusted you, the moment I met you. "A wound in time". You called me Dad.
[gets closer]
Pete: You've got my eyes, Jackie's attitude. You sound like her when you shout.
[he reaches out and tentatively brushes the hair from her eyes but then gets shy and removes his hand. Rose immediately takes his hand and replaces it on her cheek]
Pete: It is! It's you! You're my Rose! You're my Rose grown up!
[he hugs her]
Rose: [starts to cry] Dad! My Dad! My Daddy!

Amy: Ooh, Doctor, you sonicked her!

Miss: No one loves cattle more than Burger King.

Captain: Being with the Doctor, you don't get to choose when it stops... whether you leave her or... she leaves you.

The: [Locking the door with the sonic screwdriver] Kissogram?
Amy: Yes! A Kissogram! What's going on?
The: Why did you pretend to be a policewoman?
[Runs towards the TARDIS]
Amy: [Chasing after him] You broke into my house! It was either this or a French Maid! What's going on? Tell me!

The: Here's my New Year's Resolution: I'm coming for you, Dalek!

The: It may interest you to know that this isn't actually the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. It's merely a place where humans happen to live...
[a loud alien growling interrupts]
The: Sorry... It's a place where humans are allowed to live by kind permission of my client.
[the Editor points upwards. Rose and The Doctor look up to see a gigantic mass on the ceiling, which screams, showing large pointed teeth]
Rose: What is that?
The: You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?
The: 'That thing', as you put it, is in charge of the human race. For almost a hundred years, mankind has been shaped and guided, his knowledge and ambitions strictly controlled by its broadcast news, edited by my superior, your master and humanity's guiding light, The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe.
[pause]
The: I call him Max.

Amy: Time can be rewritten.
Kazran: You tell the Doctor, tell him from me: people can't!

The: But if the universe is falling apart, then what does Utopia mean?
Professor: [Professor Yana appears, looking pleased, looks between The Doctor and Jack. Then, pointing to Jack] The Doctor?
The: That's me.
Professor: Ah! Good!
[excitedly grabs the Doctor's hand a runs down the corridor with him in tow]
Professor: GOOD! Good! Good! Good, good, good, good! Good! Good!
The: [looks back at Jack and Martha] It's "good" apparently.

The: Passion fights but reason wins.

Jorj: Are you human?
Missy: Now, don't be a bitch.

Sarah: [Sarah Jane and Rose are once again squabbling over the Doctor] I had NO trouble with space-stuff. I've seen things you wouldn't believe!
Rose: Try me!
Sarah: Mummies!
Rose: I've met ghosts.
Sarah: Robots, lots of robots!
Rose: Slitheen, IN Downing Street!
Sarah: Daleks!
Rose: Met the Emperor.
Sarah: Anti Matter Monsters!
Rose: Gas Mask Zombies!
Sarah: Real life Dinosaurs!
Rose: Real life Werewolf!
Sarah: THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!
Rose: Seriously?

Rafando: This tech is precisely calibrated. As you can see, it will stop both hearts, all three brain stems and deliver a cellular shock wave that will permanently disable regenerative capability.
The: I know how it works.
Rafando: You certainly will in a moment.

Rose: So, near future, yea?
The: I had passing fancy, only it didn't pass, it stopped.

The: That rocket's not going to fly, is it? This footprint mechanism thing. It's not working.
Professor: We'll find a way.
The: You're stuck on this planet, and you haven't told them, have you? That lot out there, they still think they're going to fly.
Professor: Well, it's better to let them live in hope.
The: Quite right too.

Mickey: You disappear. Who do they turn to? Your boyfriend. Five times I was taken in for questioning. Five times. No evidence, No, there couldn't be, could there? And then I get her! Your mother. Whispering around the estate, pointing her finger, stuff through my letterbox. And all because of you.

The: Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once, everybody lives!

Mickey: You're just making it up as you go along!
The: Yup. But I do it brilliantly.

Skaak: You speak for no one, Doctor. Not even your pitiful self!

Sister: They're free! By the Goddess Santori, the flesh is free!

The: You know what's wrong with this universe? Believe me, I've looked into it. Everyone says it's not their fault. Well, yes it is. All of it. It's all your fault. So what are you going to do about it?

Angie: Oh no! You're gonna try making a soufflé again, aren't you?
Clara: My mum's soufflé. Yeah. Although this time I will get it right. This time I will be "Soufflé Girl".
Artie: How can it be your mum's soufflé if you're making it?
Clara: Because, Artie, it's like my mum always said: The soufflé isn't the soufflé. The soufflé is the recipe.
Angie: Was your mum deep on puddings?
Clara: She was a great woman.

[holding Ursula who turned to a floor tile with a face]
Elton: It's a relationship... of sorts. But we manage. We've even got a bit of a love life.
Ursula: Oh, let's not go into that...

The: Sonic trowel. You realise how ridiculous that sounds?

The: [looking in a mirror] Why did I chose this face?

Clara: [reads from a cracker] And now it's time for one last bow, like all your other selves. Eleven's hour is over now, the clock is striking Twelve's.
The: I don't get it.

Rose: Okay, so he's vanished into thin air. Why is it always the *great* looking ones who do that?
The: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.
Rose: I mean... men.
The: Okay, thanks, that really helps!

The: So, why are you interested in fish?
Kazran: 'Cause they're scary.
The: Good answer.

The: [walking into the UNIT command post] At ease! I'm the President of the world. I'm here to rescue people and generally establish happiness all over the place. The Doctor - Doctor Funkenstein.
Walsh: Yes, we know who you are.

Dr. Moon: Now, listen. This is important. There's the real world and there's the world of nightmares. That's the way it is. You understand that?
The: Yes, I know, Dr. Moon.
Dr. Moon: What I want you to remember is this, and I know it's hard. The real world is a lie and your nightmares are real. The Library is real. There are people trapped in there. People who need to be saved. The shadows are moving again. Those people are depending on you. Only you can save them. Only you.

[the Doctor is wearing a gas mask jokingly imitating the the entity of the episode "Doctor Who" The Empty Child]
The: Are you my Mummy?

The: Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me?

The: You can't have come from before the universe. That's impossible.
The: Is that YOUR religion?
The: It's a belief.
The: You know nothing. ALL of you. So small.
[about Zack]
The: The captain, so scared of command.
[about Jefferson]
The: The soldier, haunted by the eyes of his wife.
[about Ida]
The: The scientist, still running from Daddy.
[about Danny]
The: The little boy who lied.
[about Toby]
The: The virgin.
[focuses on Rose]
The: And the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child, who will die in battle so very soon...
Rose: [terrified] Doctor, what does that mean?
The: Rose, don't listen.
Rose: What does it mean?
The: You will die; and I will live.

[extra scene]
Landlord: Can you help her?
The: Tell me what happens.
Landlord: It was just before the war. Eliza was dying... nothing could be done... until these creatures saved her. At first, it was a miracle.
The: And then, they needed food.
Landlord: Twenty years later, the creatures grew dormant.
Landlord: [voice cracking] Eliza was fading...
Landlord: [chokes back a sob, composes, then continues] then a vagrant broke into the house, fell asleep, and the lice... absorbed him! I was horrified! But Eliza grew strong, and I realized what I had to do. It is regrettable, but nobody really misses the students. They're simply assumed to have run away.
The: And you think your daughter is more important than all of them.
Landlord: Yes, of course! At this moment, you're concerned about your granddaughter, and you would do whatever it took to keep the person you love from death, wouldn't you?
The: Yes, I would.
Landlord: Then you understand why I must take this course of action!
The: Oh, I do. I would tear the sky apart. I would reduce the solar system to the tiniest cinder for anyone I love. But if I was about to do that, if I'd got to that point of desperation, then I would have one hope, one desire:
Landlord: Yes?
The: That someone would stop me.

Graham: Don't worry. This ain't our first rodeo.
Ryan: We've never been to a rodeo.
Graham: You're not helping, Ryan.

Computer: Item Seven Alpha Cubed: Pting.
The: Pting?
Computer: Pting. Threat level: Chalice.
Ryan: Is that bad?
Mabli: Worst one. One up from Beetroot.

[they watch Scooti's corpse drift toward the black hole]
Mr. Jefferson: For how should man die better, than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his father and the temples of his gods?

[first lines]
The: So there's this man, he has a time machine. Up and down history he goes, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, getting into scrapes. Another thing he has is a a passion for the works of Ludwig van Beethoven. And one day he thinks, 'What's the point of having a time machine if you don't get to meet your heroes?' So off he goes to 18th century Germany, but he can't find Beethoven anywhere. No one's heard of him. Not even his family have any idea who the time traveller is talking about. Beethoven literally... doesn't exist. This didn't happen by the way. I've met Beethoven. Nice chap, very intense
[holds up a bust of Beethoven and strikes a similar expression]
The: Loved an arm wrestle. No, this is called the 'bootstrap paradox'. Google it. The time traveller panics. He can't bear the thought of a world without the music of Beethoven. Luckily he brought all of his Beethoven sheet music for Ludwig to sign. So he copies out all the concertos and the symphonies, and he gets them published. He becomes Beethoven. And history continues with barely a feather ruffled. But my question is this - who put those notes and phrases together? Who really composed Beethoven's 5th?
[plays the first notes of Beethoven's 5th on his electric guitar]

Rose: This is the last story I'll ever tell.

River: [voiceover] Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies. Night will fall and the dark will rise when a good man goes to war. Demons run but count the cost; the battle's won but the child is lost.

Lance: God, she's thick! Months I've had to put up with her, months! A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map!

Rose: He's a man in a suit, kind of tall, thin... great hair. REALLY great hair.

Rory: Okay. All of Berlin, how do we find her?
Amy: I don't know. Look for clues?
Rory: Clues? What kind of clues?
Amy: Shut up!
[both tun to look at a group of people, clad only in undergarments, running screaming out of a building]
Rory: Okay...

Psi: Clara, for what it's worth, and it might not be worth much, when your whole life flashes in front of you, you see people you love and people missing you. And I see no one.

The: Can't extrapolate a relationship from a biological accident.
Donna: Child Support agency can.

The: You know what they say, one person's arbitration is another person's interference. Very blurry line.

Sally: How can you know what I'm gonna say?
The: [on the DVD] Look to your left.
Larry: [Sally turns to see Larry writing something down] What does he mean by look to your left? I've written tons about that on the forums. I reckon it's a political statement.
Sally: He means you. What are you doing?
Larry: I'm writing in your bits. That way I've got a complete transcript of the entire conversation. Wait until this hits the net! This'll explode the egg forums!
The: [on the DVD, pointing at the screen] I've got a copy of the finished transcript, it's on my autocue.
Sally: How can you have a copy of the finished transcript? It's still being written!
The: [on the DVD] I told you, I'm a time traveller - I got it in the future!
Sally: Okay, let me get my head around this. You're reading aloud from a transcript of a conversation you're still having?
The: [on the DVD, waving his hands dismissively] Oh, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey...
Sally: Actually, never mind that.

Amy: So, you and me. When this is all over, we should get a drink sometime.
Rory: Yes, ma'am.
Amy: And married.
Rory: [pauses, looking stunned] Fine.

Alan: [on the TV] I sent you out to sell as many cubes as you could in 24 hours. And look at you, you've made a right hash of it, haven't you? Well, Craig, you're fired.

Clara: Rule number one of being the Doctor: use your enemy's power against them.

The: Proud of yourself?
The: Definitely?
The: All this death. Finally made you happy?
The: Ecstatic.
The: And has it calmed all the rage?

Brian: A spaceship... driven by dinosaurs?
The: Brian, please! That would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers.

Jackie: [lashing out at Rose] The hours I've sat here, days and weeks and months, all on my own! I thought you were dead! And where were you *travelling*? What the hell does that mean, "travelling"? That's no sort of answer!
[to the Policeman]
Jackie: You ask her. She won't tell me. That's all she says: "travelling."
Rose: That's what I was doing.
Jackie: But your passport's still in the drawer! It's just one lie after another!
Rose: I meant to phone. I really did, I just... I forgot.
Jackie: What, for a year? You forgot for *a year*? And I am left sitting here. I just don't believe you! Why won't you tell me where you've been?
The: Actually, it's my fault. I sort of, uh, employed Rose as my companion.
Policeman: When you say "companion," is this a sexual relationship?
Rose: [they look at each other, and then they simultaneously say] No!
Jackie: [getting in the Doctor's face, rather threateningly] Then what is it? Because *you*, you waltz in here all charm and smiles, and the next thing I know she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you then? 40? 45? What, did you find her on the Internet? Did you go online and pretend you're *a doctor*?
The: I *am* a doctor!
Jackie: Prove it! Stitch this, mate!
[slaps him hard across the face. The Doctor groans loudly, and Rose merely rolls her eyes]
Jackie: Did you think about me at all?
Rose: I did! All the time! But...
Jackie: One phone call. Just to know that you were alive!
Rose: I'm sorry. I really am.
Jackie: Do you know what terrifies me, is that you still can't say. What happened to you, Rose? What could be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart? Where were you?

The: Is this madness? Am I going mad?
Twelfth: Madness? Well, you're an officer from World War One at the South Pole, being pursued by an alien through frozen time. Madness was never this good.
The: World War One?
Twelfth: Judging by the uniform, yes.
The: Yes, but what do you mean... one?
Twelfth: Oh... sorry. Spoilers.

The: This place is a farm. A battery farm.

The: Oh look, a big mining thing. Oh, I love a big mining thing. See, way better than Rio. Rio doesn't have a big mining thing.
Amy: We're not going to have a look, are we?
The: Let's go and have a look.

[after its eye has been shot]
Dalek: My vision is impaired! I cannot see!

Clara: Everything ends.
Emma: No, not everything. Not love. Not always.

Great: Now the dream outlives the dreamer and can never die.

The: People fall out of the world sometimes, but they- they always leave traces, little things you can't quite account for: faces in photographs; luggage; half-eaten meals... ; rings. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely, and, if something can be remembered, it *can* come back.

The: Nikola Tesla, you're going to change the world. But first, you're going to save it.

The: [Clara throws her arms around him, he tries to back away] No, no, not the hugging. No, no, no, I'm against the hugging, PLEASE!

Adam: The thing is it's all true. Everything the United Nations tries to keep quiet. Spacecraft. Aliens. Visitors to Earth. They really exist.
Rose: [who knows all this anyway] That's amazing.
Adam: I know it sounds incredible, but I honestly believe the whole universe is just teeming with life.

Emperor: If I am God, the creator of all things, then what does that make you, Doctor?

Cassandra: This is destiny. At last I can be revenged on that little b...
Rose: [to Doctor] Bit rich, coming from you.

Agatha: Can we return to sanity? There are no such things as giant wasps!
The: Exactly! So the question is: what's it doing here?

The: You should've seen it, Doctor. Furnaces burning. The last of humanity screaming at the dark.

Rose: You don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say "no"! You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away!

Martha: But this Master bloke, he's got the TARDIS. He could be anywhere in time and space.
The: No, he's here. Trust me.
Martha: Who is he anyway? That voice at the end, that wasn't the Professor.
Captain: The Master's a Time Lord. Then he must have regenerated.
Martha: What does that mean?
Captain: It means he's changed his face, voice, body, everything. New man.
[the Doctor is distracted by a beggar tapping out a repeating rhythm on an enamel mug - ~tum tum te tum, tum tum te tum, tum tum te tum~]
Martha: Then how are we going to find him?
[the tapping starts to echo in the Doctor's head]
The: I'll know him, the moment I see him. Time Lords always do.

The: Hello! Hi, hello.
[holding psychic paper]
The: Uh, Doctor John Disco.

Rose: Hello. Are you in pain? My name's Rose Tyler. I've got a friend, he can help. He's called the Doctor. What's your name?
Dalek: Yes.
Rose: What?
Dalek: I am in pain. They... torture me, but still they fear me. Do you fear me?
Rose: No.
Dalek: I am dying.
Rose: No, we can help.
Dalek: I welcome death. But I am glad that before I die, I have met a human who was not afraid.

The: So this is London?
Mickey: Yep.
The: Your city?
Mickey: That's the one.
The: Just as we left it?
Mickey: Bang on.
The: [looking up] And that includes the zeppelins?
[They all look up and see lots of zeppelins moving throughout the sky]
Rose: Those are beautiful.
[looking around, we see zeppelins everywhere]
Mickey: OK, so it's London with a big international zeppelin festival.
The: This is not your world.
Mickey: But the date's the same.

The: [Addressing the pirates, who are forcing him to walk the plank] A bit more laughter, guys!

Riley: [reading from display] Find the next number in the sequence: 313, 331, 367...? What?
Martha: You said the crew knew all the answers!
Riley: The crew's changed since we set the questions.
Martha: You're joking!
The: 379!
Martha: What?
The: It's a sequence of happy primes - 379!
Martha: Happy what?
The: Just enter it!
Riley: Are you sure? We only get one chance.
The: Any number that reduces to one when you take the sum of the square of its digits and continue iterating it until it yields 1 is a happy number, any number that doesn't, isn't. A happy prime is both happy and prime. Now type it in!
[aside]
The: I dunno, talk about dumbing down. Don't they teach recreational mathematics anymore?

The: Amy Pond, you are magnificent, and I'm sorry.
Amy: It's okay. I understand. You've got to leave me.
The: Oh, no, I'm not leaving you, never. I'm sorry about this!
[Leans down and bites Amy's hand]
Amy: Ow!
The: Ah, see, not stone! Now run!
Amy: You bit me!
The: Yeah, and you're alive.
Amy: I've got a mark. Look at my hand!
The: And you're alive! Did I mention...
Amy: Blimey, your teeth. Have you got space teeth?
The: Yeah, alive. All I'm saying.

The: This must be the biographies. I love biographies.
Donna: Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end.
The: You need a good death. Without death there'd only be comedies. Death gives us size.

The: Danny isn't real. Danny Pink died saving the world.
Danny: I really didn't.
The: I'm sorry. I thought there was a way back for him, but I was wrong. I can't change that. He's dead.
Danny: I didn't die saving the world, Doctor, I died saving Clara. The rest of you just got lucky. How long has she got?
The: Minutes, till it's irreversible.
Danny: Well then, get out the way.
[the Doctor moves aside and Danny walks up to Clara]
Danny: I'm a dream and you know I am, right?
[Clara nods]
Danny: Right, one thing. But it's important. It's a very important thing. That is totally how you guessed all of my presents.
Clara: I miss you.
Danny: Five minutes.
Clara: What?
Danny: You can miss me for five minutes a day. And you'd better do it properly. You'd better be sad. I expect my five. But all the rest of the time, Clara, all the rest of the time, every single second, you just get the hell on with it. Clear?
Clara: Don't you soldier me.
Danny: Do as you're told.
The: Brave.
Danny: Dead already. How does she wake up?
The: I don't know. Just try. Accept this isn't real, and try.
Danny: Do it. For me.
Clara: [crying] When I wake up, you won't be there.
Danny: Do you know why people get together at Christmas? Because every time they do, it might be the last time. Every Christmas is last Christmas, and this is ours. This was a bonus. This is extra. But now it's time to wake up.
[Danny and Clara kiss]

The: I'm going to get out of here and find whoever put me here in the first place. And whatever they're trying to do, I'm going to stop it! We might take a little while, so do you want me to tell you a story? The Brothers Grimm - lovely fellows, they're on my darts team. According to them, there was this emperor, and he asks this shepherd's boy, "How many seconds in eternity?" And the shepherd's boy says, "There's this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it, and an hour to go around it! Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiselled away, the first second of eternity will have passed!" You must think that's a hell of a long time...
[4.5 billion years pass]
The: ...Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird.

The: No humans on Gallifrey.
Ko: If it helps, we have explosives.

The: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

Ashad: But that which is dead can live again... in the hands of a believer.

The: So, what do you do around here to stave off the, you know...
Amy: [finishing] ... boredom?
The: [simultaneously] ... self-harm?

Rose: What now?
The: I want to go to the games; that's what we came for!
Rose: Go on... give us a clue. Which events do we do well in?
The: Alright, well I'll tell you this: Papua New Guinea surprises everyone in the shot put.

Inspector: Well... It just laid an egg.
Madame: It dropped a blue box marked police out of its mouth, your grasp on biology troubles me.

[the Doctor makes muffled noises while making a shaking motion]
Donna: I can't understand you! How many words?
[the Doctor holds up one finger]
Donna: One! One word! Shake, milk-shake, milk! Milk! No? Not milk! Um, shake, shake, shake! Cocktail shake! What, d'you want a Harvey Wallbanger?
The: Harvey Wallbanger?
Donna: Well, I don't know!
The: How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?
Agatha: What do you need Doctor?
The: Salt! I was miming salt! I need salt! I need something salty!
[Donna grabs a bag from the counter]
Donna: What about this?
The: What is it?
Donna: Salt!
The: That's too salty!
Donna: Oh, that's too salty!
Agatha: What about this?
[Agatha hands the Doctor a jar and he upends it, eating the food]
Donna: What's that?
Agatha: Anchovies.

Yasmin: So everything we saw, everything we've lied to people about, is this normal for you?
The: I'm just a traveler. Sometimes I see things need fixing, I do what I can.

[discussing why someone wants to kill The Doctor in a town that they've only just arrived at.]
Amy: What does he want? Has he issued some kind of demand?
Isaac: Says he wants us to give him the alien doctor.
Amy: [to The Doctor] But that's you. Why would he want to kill you? Unless he's met you.

Danny: I just get nervous.
Clara: Me too.
Danny: I don't even know what I'm nervous of.
Clara: I'll show you.

Avery: We made no signal.
The: Our sensors picked you up: ship in distress.
Avery: "Sensors"?
The: Yes. OK! Problem word, 17th Century. My ship automatically... uh, noticed-ish that your ship was, uh, having some bother.
Avery: That big blue crate?
[the Doctor snaps his fingers and points back]
The: That is more magic, Captain Avery. They're spirits. How else would they have found their way below decks?
The: Well- I want to say "multidimensional engineering" but since you had a problem with "sensors" I won't go there.

The: People don't need to be lied to.
Clara: People don't need to be scared by a big gray-haired stick insect but here you are. Stay still, shut up.

[after the TARDIS has crashlanded]
The: We fell out of the vortex, through the Void into nothingness. We're at some sort of no-place, a silent realm, a lost dimension...
Mickey: [looking outside] Otherwise known as "London".

Ashad: Are you the guardian?
Fletcher: No, sir! I am the valet.

The: Amy, tell him!
Amy: Tell him what?
The: About the Daleks.
Amy: What would I know about the "Daleks".
The: Everything. They invaded your world, remember? Planets in the sky: you don't forget that.
Amy: [not recalling] No.
The: Tell me you remember the Daleks.
Amy: Nope, sorry.
Amy: [nervous chuckle]
The: That's not possible.

The: [to the barmaid] Tea. But the strong stuff. Leave the bag in.

Rose: [speaking to an Ood who is serving supper] I had that job once, I was a dinner lady. Not that I'm calling you a lady.
[pause]
Rose: Although I don't know, you might be.
[the Ood blinks uncomprehendingly]

Professor: [smiling at the Doctor through her space helmet] Hello, sweetie.
The: Get out!
Donna: Doctor...
The: All of you, turn around, get back in you rocket and fly away. Tell your grandchildren you came to the Library and lived. They won't believe you.
Professor: Pop your helmets, everyone, we got breathers.

Antibody: Welcome. You are unauthorized. Your death will now be implemented.
[repeated line]

Rose: [Rose is confronted by the Dalek] What are you waiting for?
Dalek: I feel your fear.
Rose: What do you expect?
Dalek: Daleks do not fear, must not fear.
[shoots wildly twice, missing Rose completely]
Dalek: You gave me life. What else have you given me? I am contaminated!

The: [from trailer] It's Christmas, Who ya Gonna Call?

Cybermen: Every citizen will receive a free upgrade.

Sharon: I'm voting Saxon; he can tick my box any day.

The: Between here and my office, before the kettle boils, is everything that ever happened or ever will.

The: [Margaret just tried begging the Doctor to take her somewhere besides her homeworld where she would be executed] You've been in that skin suit too long. You've forgotten. There used to be a real Margaret Blaine. You killed her and stripped her and used the skin. You're pleading for mercy out of a dead woman's lips.

The: Isn't there a solution that doesn't involve bombing everyone?

Face: We shall meet again, Doctor, for the third time, for the last time, and the truth shall be told. Until that day...
[he vanishes]
The: That is enigmatic. That is... that is textbook enigmatic.

[the Daleks have eliminated a squad of Cybermen. During the battle, Mickey has inadvertently activated a vaguely Dalek shaped object called the Genesis Ark. Steam pours from it]
Dalek: Cybermen have been exterminated. Daleks are supreme.
Dalek: The Genesis Ark is primed.

River: You know, it's funny, I keep wishing the Doctor was here.
Anita: The Doctor is here, isn't he? He is coming back, right?
River: You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it's from years before you knew them. and it's like they're not quite finished. They're not done yet. Well, yes, the Doctor's here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not my Doctor. Now my Doctor, I've seen whole armies turn and run away. And he'd just swagger off back to his Tardis and open the doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor in the Tardis. Next stop, everywhere.
The: Spoilers. Nobody can open a Tardis by snapping their fingers. It doesn't work like that.
River: It does for the Doctor.
The: I am the Doctor.
River: Yeah. Some day.

Craig: You've noticed something. You've got your noticing face on. I have nightmares about that face.
The: Nope! Given all that up. Done noticing things.
[the lights flicker]
The: Didn't even notice that, for example.

Madame: [weakly] Amy... help me.
Amy: You took my baby from me. And hurt her. And now she's all grown up and she's fine, but I'll never see my baby again.
Madame: But you'll still save me, though. Because *he* would, and you'd never do anything to disappoint your precious Doctor.
Rory: Ma'am, we have to go, now!
Amy: [to Kovarian] The Doctor is very precious to me, you're right. But do you know what else he is, Madame Kovarian? Not here.
[Amy re-attachs Kovarian's eye drive]
Amy: River Song didn't get it all from you, sweetie.
[eye drive activates and Kovarian screams]

Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The: Mickey, what's Pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

The: [about Rose] She's a feral child. I bought her for six pounds in Old London. It was either her or the elephant man.

Amy: Can't chat, working.
Rory: Really? I thought you were just pouting at a camera.

Craig: Listen, Mike and I had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout.
[winks]
Craig: Okay?.
The: [winks back] Why would I want that?
Craig: Well, in case you want to bring someone round, a girlfriend or a...
[looks at the Doctor up and down]
Craig: boyfriend...
The: Oh, I will. I'll shout... if that happens. Something like... I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!

Harriet: Voice mail dooms us all.

Davros: I am dying, Doctor.
The: You keep saying that, you keep not dying. Can you give it some welly?

The: 10,000 years in the future. Step outside and it's the year 12005, the New Roman Empire.
Rose: You think you're so impressive.
The: I *am* so impressive!
Rose: You wish.

Kane: You can't build an ionic membrane from scratch.
The: If I had crayons and half a can of Spam, I could build YOU from scratch.

Grace: You came crashing through the roof!
The: Yeah, I was thrown out of my Tardis... Oh! I've lost my Tardis! It was exploded, then it dematerialized. Don't panic! Not the end of the world. Well, it could be the end of the world, but one thing at a time.
Graham: Are we supposed to understand anything you're saying?

Father: And two hundred years later the planet was terraformed. Currently there are six billion human colonies.
The: Whew! You lot. You're everywhere. You're like rabbits! I'll never get done saving you.

Fenton: And who are you when you're at home, love?
Clara: [shows him the psychic paper] Health & Safety. This subway is unsafe. Everyone needs to leave right now.
Fenton: This is blank. Try again, sweetheart.
The: [in Clara's earpiece] What?
Clara: [simultaneously] What?
The: It takes quite a lack of imagination to beat psychic paper.

Rose: They're rats! Vacuum packed rats!
The: [to Mickey] And you decided to scream.
Mickey: It took me by surprise!
The: Like a little girl!
Mickey: It was dark, I was covered in rats!
The: Nine, maybe ten years old. I'm seeing pigtails and a frilly skirt.

The: You're very sick.
Doctor: Dying, I should think. I just haven't been able to find the time.

The: You've been driving for two months?
Thomas: Do I look like a teenager? We've been driving for 12 years now.
The: [in disbelief] Sorry?
Thomas: Yeah, started out as newly weds. Feels like yesterday.
Valerie: Feels like 12 years to me.

The: It's a killer puzzle box, designed to scare me to death, and I'm trapped inside it.
[grinning]
The: Must be Christmas!

Mels: It's all right for you. You've got Mr. Perfect keeping you right.
Amy: [thinking Mels means the Doctor, tosses the model TARDIS back to Mels] He's not even real. Just a stupid dream when I was a kid.
Mels: I wasn't talking about him.
[Mels looks over at Rory going out the door]
Amy: What, Rory?
[Rory freezes-"Oh my god!"-in the open door]
Amy: How have I "got" Rory?
Rory: [nervously, covering] Yeah. How... how's she "got" me?
Amy: He's not mine.
Rory: No... No.
[quietly]
Rory: I'm not hers.
Mels: Come on. Seriously. It's got to be you two.
[pause, Rory in fear, Amy not getting it]
Mels: Oh, cut to the song, it's getting boring.
Amy: Nice thought, okay? But completely impossible.
Rory: [looks to Amy, crushed, swallows] Yeah, ihh- impossible.
Amy: I mean, I'd love to. He's gorgeous. He's my favorite guy.
[pats Rory on the shoulder]
Amy: But he's, you know...
Amy: [simultaneously] ... gay. /... a friend.
[Rory and Amy look at each other]
Rory: I'm not gay.
Amy: Yes, you are.
Rory: No. No I'm not.
Amy: Of course you are, don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown the slightest interest in a *girl*?
Mels: [rotating TARDIS model in her hands] Penny in the air.
Amy: I mean, I've known you for what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the *slightest* bit of attention to.
[Pale, panicked, and perfectly paralyzed of voice, his secret crush now implicitly revealed, Rory turns tail and runs out. Mels giggles]
Amy: [astonished, realizing his feelings for her, Amy looks to Mels while pointing at herself, silently mouthing] Me?
[aloud]
Amy: Oh my... god! Rory?
[Amy runs out after Rory]
Mels: [gets up, giving the model a toss in the air] And the penny drops!
Amy: Rory! Come back!
Mels: [to Amy's model TARDIS] Catch you later, time-boy.
[Mels tosses the TARDIS model to the bed, which becomes the real TARDIS tumbling through the clouds]

[When The Doctor or Donna talk to the Pompeiians, foreign phrases are not being translated into Latin]
Caecillius: [discussing a prior earthquake] After the great earthquake 17 years ago... An awful lot of damage, but we rebuilt.
The: Didn't you think of moving away? On, no, then again, San Francisco.
Caecillius: That's a new restaurant in Naples, isn't it?

Professor: I have never surrendered, and I have no intention of starting now.

Martha: [over walkie-talkie] This is Doctor Jones. Operation Blue Sky is go, go, go. I repeat, this is a go.

Martha: The Utopia Project was the last hope, trying to find a way to escape the end of everything.
Toclafane: There was no solution. No diamonds. Just the dark and the cold.

The: Multi-nucleate, crystalline organism with the ability to mimic and mirror what it finds. Looks like snow. Isn't snow.
Dr. Simeon: You must leave here now.
The: Shut up. I'm making deductions, it's very exciting.

Nikola: You're an inventor!
The: I have my moments.

Rafando: You cannot do this. You will not leave this planet alive.
The: Do me a favor. The Fatality Index. Look up "The Doctor"
Rafando: [Starts keying search into his wrist cuff] You have an entry, just like any other sentient being.
The: Under 'cause of death'
Rafando: [Finishes keying, cuff starts clicking] You do seem to have a... an impressive record of fatalities credited to you.
[Cuff keeps clicking]
Rafando: A truly remarkable record.
[Cuff clicks faster, Monks start fleeing]
Rafando: Where are you going? He's unarmed! You are unarmed?
The: Always.
Rafando: [slaps at cuff, clicks become a whine, rising in pitch] You stand alone.
The: Often.
Rafando: You're the one who should be afraid.
The: Never.
Rafando: Have a nice day, then.
[Rafando runs]

Yasmin: What's the matter with Sheffield?
Dan: Too near Leeds.
Yasmin: Pro tip, Dan Lewis; don't diss the designated rescuer.

The: Rose Tyler. I was gonna take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'll love it, fantastic place, they've got dogs with no noses!
[laughs]
The: Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke, and it's still funny!
Rose: Then, why can't we go?
The: Maybe you will, and maybe I will, but not like this.
Rose: [standing up] You're not making sense.
The: I might never make sense again! I might have two heads! Or no head! Imagine me with no head - and don't say that's an improvement.
[Rose smiles]
The: But it's a bit dodgy, this process.
[her smile fades]
The: You never know what you're gonna end up with.
[a flash of light and the Doctor doubles over in pain]
Rose: Doctor!
The: Stay away!
Rose: Doctor, tell me what's going on.
The: I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex and no one's meant to do that. Every cell in my body's dying.
Rose: Can't you do something?
The: Yeah, I'm doing it now... Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death, except, it means I'm gonna change. And I'm not gonna see you again, not like this, not with this daft old face. And before I go...
Rose: Don't say that!
The: Rose, before I go I just wanna tell you - you were fantastic... absolutely fantastic... and d'you know what?
[Rose shakes her head]
The: So was I.
[they both smile at each other for the last time before he is engulfed in light]

[first lines]
Mr. Finch: [walking the halls while making fingerings with his left hand as if playing a three-keyed brass instrument, then sings softly] Bom bom bom bom / Da-bom bom bom.
Mr. Finch: [He walks just past Nina waiting in a chair by his Headmaster office, stops, and turns taking notice of her] What do you want?
Nina: The nurse sent me, sir. I was in English and I got a headache.
Mr. Finch: Then don't bother me, go home.
Nina: I can't.
Mr. Finch: Why, is your mother at work?
Nina: I live in Ambrose Hall. The children's home.
Mr. Finch: [conciliatory] No parents. No one to miss you. I see why the nurse sent you. You poor child. Poor... thin... child. Come inside. It's nearly time for lunch.

Dalek: The Daleks survive in me.

Dalek: Save us. Save us.
The: What?
Daleks: Save the Daleks! Save the Daleks! Save the Daleks! Save the Daleks! Save the Daleks!
The: This is new!

[after presenting a photo of Jackie in his cell phone]
Elton: I had to work very hard. She keeps everything very close to her chest.
Ursula: That's a hell of a chest.

Colonel: You will face me sir!
[Skorr turns around will a yell; Mace shoots him & he collapses; laying on the floor with a satisfied smile]
Commander: Wonderful.

Rose: We've got a prisoner. The police box is really a police box.
Margaret: You're not just police, though. Since you're taking me to my death, that makes *you* my executioners. Each and every one of you.
Mickey: Well *you* deserve it.
Margaret: [looks straight at him] You're very quick to say so. And you're very quick to soak your hands in my blood. Which makes you better than me how, exactly?
[he says nothing]
Margaret: Long night ahead.
[walks away & sits down; finally]
Margaret: Let's see who can look me in the eye.
[looks piercingly at each person; none hold eye contact for more than a few seconds; & the Doctor barely even looks up from his work]

Dalek: Request information. What is your opinion of Dalek Sec?
Dalek: We were created to follow him.
Dalek: But you have doubts?
[Dalek Caan checks that no one is watching]
Dalek: Affirmative.

The: [the shadows are advancing] Don't play games with me! You just killed someone I like, that is not a safe place to stand! I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the Universe. Look me up.
[the shadows stop advancing, pause, and shrink rapidly]

The: [muffled annoyed shouting from the bag] Sorry. It was my stomach. I have an irritable bowel.
King: [in bag] My revenge will be merciless! I will rip you open and devour you!
The: It's having a day.

[looking at the Sontaran Clone version of herself]
Martha: Oh, my God. That's me!

Empty: [to the Doctor] Mummy? Are you my mummy?

Adam: [Adam introduces Mr. Van Statten to Rose and The Doctor] This is Mr. Van Statten.
Rose: And who is he when he's not at home?
Adam: Mr. Van Statten owns the Internet.
Rose: Don't be so stupid. No-one owns the Internet!
Henry: [grinning] And let's just keep the whole world thinking that way, right kid?

[Jack prepares to enter a deadly radiation filled room]
The: Whoa, what are you taking your clothes off for?
Captain: I'm goin' in!
The: By the looks of it, I'd say the Stet radiation doesn't affect clothes, only flesh.
Captain: Well, I'll look good though.

[the Doctor and Donna think they're in Rome]
Donna: Have you been here before, then?
The: Mmh, ages ago. Before you ask, that fire had nothing to do with me. Well, a little bit.

The: If they get back in contact - if you talk to Rose - just tell her... tell her... oh, she knows.

Rose: D'ya like my gun?

The: Things end. That's all. Everything ends, and it's always sad. But everything begins again too, and that's... always happy. Be happy. I'll look after everything else.

[to all the guests]
The: Listen to me! You people are in serious danger. You need to get out of here, right now!
Olive: Don't be ridiculous. The greatest danger here is choking on an olive.
[the mutated Lazarus breaks in]

River: I'm all yours, sweetie.
The: Only River Song gets to call me that.
River: And who's River Song?
The: An old friend of mine.
River: Stupid name.

The: Yes, he likes that, Alfie. Though personally he prefers to be called Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All.
Craig: Sorry, what?
The: [indicating the baby] That's what he calls himself.
Craig: How d'you know that?
The: I speak baby.
Craig: Of course you do.

The: Lady Eddison!
Lady: Forgive me, but, who exactly might you be? And, what are you doing here?
The: I'm the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble, of the, Chiswick Nobles.
Donna: Good afternoon, my lady. Topping day, what. Spiffing. Top-hole.
The: No no no no no no no. Don't do that. Don't.
[holds up his psychic paper]
The: We were thrilled to receive your invitation! We met at the Ambassadors' reception.

The: [to Half-face Man] You're out of your depth, sir. Never try and control a control freak.
Clara: I am not a control freak!
The: Yes Ma'am.

Kazran: I don't and never ever will care!
The: And I don't believe that.

The: Ten seconds. That's all I'll be able to take. No more. Ahh, ahh, ahhh! Martha!
Martha: Yeah?
The: It's burning me up. I can't control it. If you don't get rid of it, I could kill you. I could kill you all.
[lets out a groan of pain]
The: I'm scared. I'm so scared.
Martha: Just stay calm. You saved me, now I return the favor. Just believe in me.

Clara: I think I'm more scared of you right now than anything else on this TARDIS.

The: From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun, there's more to see than can ever be seen, more to- wait that's The Lion King.

Donna: [looking at the Doctor's allies on screen] It's like an outer-space Facebook!

The: All that time in a cell, wondering who I am. I'm the Doctor. I'm the one who stops the Daleks.

The: [Leaning against the TARDIS doors] Hi, honey. I'm home.
River: [Looks at her watch] What sort of time do you call this?

[Gwen has reported Harriet's subwave transmission to Jack]
Captain: The whole world is crying out - ignore it.
Harriet: Captain Jack Harkness, shame on you!

Davros: [referring to the Gallifrey prophecy] It spoke of a hybrid creature. Two great warrior races forced together to create a warrior greater than either. Is that what you ran from, Doctor? Your part in the coming of the hybrid?

Davros: Welcome to my new empire, Doctor. It is only fitting that you should bear witness to the resurrection and triumph of Davros, lord and creator of the Dalek race.

Frank: We gotta stick together. It's easy to get lost. It's like a huge rabbit warren. You could hide an army down here.

[Heidi wakes up with a start]
The: Morning.
Heidi: What happened?
The: The big bang, dinosaurs, bipeds, and a mounting sense of futility.

The: I did it! Give the man a medal. Earth, Naples, December 24th, 1860.
Rose: That's so weird... its Christmas.
The: All yours.
Rose: But its like - think about it though. Christmas. 1860. Happens once - just once - and then its gone, its finished. It'll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone a hundred thousand sun sets ago. No wonder you never stay still.
The: Not a bad life.
Rose: [smiles] Better with two.

The: Time Lord!
The: What?
The: Oh yes. The last of the Time Lords, with his travelling machine. Oh, with his little human girl from long ago.

The: [possessed by the Beast] Some may call him Abaddon. Some may call him Krop Tor. Some may call him Satan. Or Lucifer. Or the King of Despair. The Deathless Prince. The Bringer of Night. And these are the words that shall set him free.

Clara: Doctor, is there an alien in this school?
The: Yes, me.

Bill: Nardole, are you secretly a badass?
Nardole: Nothing secret about it, baby doll.

The: [about to play the organ] I hope there's a good acoustic in here.

Middle: I've never kissed anyone before - -what do I do?
The: Well, try and be all nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky.
Middle: Why?
The: Because you're going to be like that, anyway. You might as well make it part of the plan then it will feel on purpose, off you go then.
Middle: Now? I kiss her, now?
The: Kazran, trust me, it's this or go to your room and design a new kind of screwdriver. Don't make my mistakes. Now go.

Nancy: Yes, I am your mummy. I will always be your mummy.

Young: I'm not scared!
The: Course you're not, you're not scared of anything! Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of a box, man eats fish custard! And look at you... just sitting there. So you know what I think?
Young: What?
The: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.

Missy: Tell him the bitch is back

The: Oi, Brando! Looking for us?

Rose: Promise you won't disappear?
The: I'll tell you what. TARDIS key.
[hands her the key]
The: It's about time you had one. See you later.

The: What does hate look like Amy?

Courtney: [after stepping onto the moon] One small thing for a thing. One enormous thing for a thingy-thing.
Lundvik: So much for history.

Rory: You stink of fish!
Francesco: Well, I'm hardly likely to smell of cheese and biscuits!

Dr. Rajesh Singh: Samuel, what the hell are you doing?
Mickey: The name's Mickey. Mickey Smith, defending the earth!

Martha: So what is that thing? And where's it from, Planet Zovirax?
The: It's just a Slab. They're called Slabs. Basic slave drones. You see? Solid leather all the way through. Someone has got one hell of a fetish.

The: [knocks on the TARDIS door] We'll be late for cocktails!
[TARDIS door opens, Donna steps out, wearing 1920s dress]
Donna: What d'you think? Flapper? Or slapper?
The: [smiles] Flapper. You look lovely.

The: Take me to your leader!

[Captain Jack has just greeted the Doctor as "Mr. Spock"]
The: Mister Spock?
Rose: What was I supposed to say? You don't have a name! Don't you ever get tired of "Doctor"? Doctor Who?
The: Nine centuries in, I'm coping.

Dalek: You will not escape us, Doctor.
The: Yes, I will. Every time.

Craig: [opening door, believing it to be Sophie] I love you!
The: Well, that's good, because I'm your new lodger.
[Craig stares at him in shock]
The: D'you know, this is going to be easier than I expected.

Handbot: Will you be visiting long?
Rory: Good question. Bit sinister. What's the answer to not get us killed?

Martha: Think what the Face of Boe said - his dying words. He said...
The: You are not alone.
[the screen shows the word "YANA". The Doctor has a look of horror on his face]

The: I think this whole place is inside a closed energy loop, constantly recycling. Or maybe I'm in Hell. That's okay, I'm not scared of Hell - it's just Heaven for bad people.

The: Doctor. Right! While you've been here chatting up Robo-Mop, me and... me have been busy. We've found it.
The: [to Bill, in "Razor's" voice] "Oh, hello, my dear. My God, you were so boring for all those years." But it was worth every day of it. For this.
Twelfth: Bill, don't let him upset you.
The: Though, didn't you used to be a woman? I'm gonna be a woman, fairly soon. Any tips? Or maybe... I don't know, old bras?
Bill: I am not upset.
The: [disappointed] Oh. Well, doesn't that take all the fun out of cruelty? Might as well rile a fridge. Come on, this way.

The: And ignorance is, um, what's the opposite of bliss?
Clara: Carlisle?
The: Yes. Yes, Carlisle. Ignorance is Carlisle.

The: Look at my girl, look at her go! Bigger on the inside! See, House, that's your problem: size of a planet but inside you are just... so... small!

Liz: You're a bit hard to miss love. Mysterious stranger, M.O. consistent with higher alien intelligence, hair of an idiot.

Sontarans: Sontar-ha!

Nardole: [describing how the Tardis works] First you have to imagine a very big box fitting inside a very small box.
Bill: Okay
Nardole: Then, you have to make one. It's the second part people normally get stuck on.

The: Shut up!

Rose: Can't I do anything right?
The: Since you asked, no.
[loudly]
The: So don't touch the baby!
Rose: I'm not stupid!
The: Y'could have fooled me!

Rose: You all right?
The: I'm always all right.

Son: Headmaster, sir! Good evening, sir. Come to give me a caning, sir? Would you like that, sir?

Graham: What's happening out there?
Captain: I guess they want their ship back.
Graham: What, this ain't your ship?
Captain: Do you think I'd choose this look? It doesn't even have a bar!

The: Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me cause it's important, and one day your life may depend on it: I am definitely a mad man with a box!

The: [the phone on the TARDIS has started ringing] What am I supposed to do with a ringing phone?
Nancy: [who has suddenly appeared] Don't answer it. It's not for you.
The: And how do you know that?
Nancy: 'Cause I do. And I'm telling you... don't answer it.

Amy: Can you ride a motorbike?
Rory: I expect so. It's that sort of day.

[repeated line]
Colony: Davros knows. Davros remembers.

Mr. Copper: But if the planet's waking up, can't we signal them? They could send up a rocket or something.
The: They don't have spaceships.
Mr. Copper: No, I've read about it. They have shuffles. Space shuffles.
The: Mr. Copper, this degree in Earthonomics, where is it from?
Mr. Copper: Honestly?
The: Just between us.
Mr. Copper: Mrs. Golightly's Happy Travelling University and Dry Cleaners.

Dalek: [trapped in the Cloisters] Exterminate me! Exterminate me!

Larry: [starting the DVD extra] And there he is.
Sally: The Doctor.
Larry: Who's the Doctor?
Sally: He's the Doctor.
The: Yep, that's me.
Sally: OK, that was scary.
Larry: No, it sounds like he's replying but he always says that.
The: Yes I do.
Larry: And that.
The: Yup. And this.
Sally: He can hear us. Oh my god you can really hear us!
Larry: Of course he can't hear us. Look. "Yup, that's me." "Yes I do." "Yup. And this." Next is:
Larry: "Are you gonna read out the whole thing?"
Larry: Sorry.

Young: Monsieur, be careful!
The: It's just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry, everyone has nightmares. Even monsters under the bed have nightmares!
Young: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The: Me!

[Timothy sits outside looking at the fob watch. It whispers to him]
Woman: Darkness is coming! Darkness is coming!
The: Keep me away from the false and empty man.
Face: The last of the Time Lords. The last of that wise and ancient race.
Woman: The god with the face of a man.
[he looks away and the whispering voices abruptly cease]

The: Pay attention, 'cause every word I'm about to say is true.

Yasmin: Are they all like you there?
Captain: No. I'm pretty special.

Dalek: You will die in silence, Doctor. Or your associate will die.
The: Fine. Go on. Kill her! Kill her! See if I care. But tell me, what are you going to do next?
Dalek: See how the Time Lord betrays.
Clara: You'll kill me anyway. What difference does it make? I'm not afraid. I'll leave that to you.

Commander: I have gene-spliced myself for all nursing duties, I can produce magnificent quantities of lactic fluid.

Rose: [referring to K-9] Why does it looked so... disco?
The: Oi! Listen, in the year 5000 this was cutting edge!

[Elliot has just been awakened from artificial slumber]
Elliot: But where are we?
Mo: Well, I've got to be honest with you, son. We're in the centre of the Earth, and there are lizard men.

Jabe: This facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the upper class. Nothing can go wrong.
The: Unsinkable?
Jabe: If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate.
The: [to Jabe] You're telling me. I was on another ship once. They said that was unsinkable. I ended up clinging to an iceberg. It wasn't half cold.

Ryan: Did you hear the noises in the valley in the night?
Prem: The violence is getting closer.
Ryan: Who's doing this stuff?
Prem: Ordinary people who've lived here all their lives, whipped into a frenzy to be part of a mob. There's nothing worse than when ordinary people lose their minds. We've lived together for decades, Hindu, Muslim and Sikh, and now we're being told that our differences are more important than what unites us. Like we learned nothing in the war. I don't know how we protect people when hatred's coming from all sides.

Nestene: Time Lord!

Emperor: We have your associate. You will obey, or she will be exterminated.
The: No.
Emperor: Explain yourself.
The: I said "no."
Emperor: What is the meaning of this negative?
The: It means "no."
Emperor: But she will be destroyed.
The: No! Because this is what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet. And then, I'm gonna save the Earth. And then, just to finish off, I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek outta the sky!
Emperor: But you have no weapons, no defenses, no plan.
The: Yeah, and doesn't that just scare you to death? Rose!
Rose: [on monitor] Yes, Doctor?
The: I'm coming to get you.
[turns off signal with sonic screwdriver]

The: What did you say?
Nagata: When?
The: 1.83 minutes ago.
Nagata: I said, "We don't have helmet-cams."

Twelfth: Like sewage, smart phones, and Donald Trump, some things are just inevitable.

The: [to the Tardis] What's wrong? You're not happy. Why aren't you happy? Tell me.
Clara: Come on! We're on a roll! Monsters, things blowing up. Oh, hey, can we go back to that place were the people with long necks have been celebrating the new year for two centuries? I left my sunglasses there, and most of my dignity.
The: [continuing to ignore her and talking to the Tardis] Why have you brought us here?

The: What you doing 'ere?
Rose: I live here!
The: Well, what you go and do a thing like that for?

The: You still haven't answered the question. What happens to me?
The: You're my responsibility from now on. The only Time Lord left in existence.
Captain: Yeah, but you can't trust him.
The: No. The only safe place for him is the TARDIS.
The: You mean, you're just gonna... keep me?
The: If that's what I have to do. It's time to change. Maybe I've been wandering for too long. Now I've got someone to care for.

Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The: Mickey, what's pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

The: Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Jones. I've heard a lot about you.
Francine: Have you. What have you heard, then?
The: Oh, y'know, that you're Martha's mother, and... Uhm... no, actually, that's about it. We haven't had much time to chat. You know, been... busy.
Francine: Busy? Doing what, exactly?
The: Oh, y'know... stuff.

The: Rose, you leave this life with nothing.

[repeated line]
The: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

The: I'm a bit of a hermit really.
The: A hermit with friends?
The: Mmm. Hermits United. We get together every 10 years and swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a hermit.

River: Hang on! Just something I have to check.
[exits to bathroom]
Rory: Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head.
Amy: Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard.
Rory: That's not helping...
The: This isn't the River Song we know yet. This is her right at the start. Doesn't even know her name.
River: [from bathroom] Oh, that's *magnificent*!
[appears in doorway, beaming]
River: I'm going to wear *lots* of jodhpurs!

The: [reading Reinette's mind] If there's anything you don't want me to see, just imagine a door, and close it.
[pause]
The: Actually, there's a door there, you may want to just... ooh...
[Reinette smiles mischievously]

The: [coming back to a different time] Reinette... well, goodness how you've grown.
Madame: And you don't appear to have aged a single day. I think that is tremendously impolite of you.

[Bram separates a section of the TARDIS console. Voices from the past start leaking out and overlapping each other]
Susan: [as said to Ian and Barbara] Well, I made up the name TARDIS from the initials: Time And Relative Dimension In Space.
The: ...dimensionally transcendental.
Jo: What's that mean?
The: You sexy thing!
Idris: See, you do call me that! Is it my name?
The: You bet it's your name!
The: [as said to Leela] That's trans-dimensional engineering. A key Time Lord discovery.
The: [as said to Rose Tyler] The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and, believe me, they've tried.
Martha: It's just a box...
Amy: We are in space!
Martha: ...with that room crammed in!
Ian: That thing that looks like a Police Box, standing in a junkyard, it can move anywhere in time and space?

The: [seeing what Jeff was watching on his computer] Blimey. Get a girlfriend, Jeff.

The: There was an old Doctor from Gallifrey/ Who ending up throwing his life away/ He let down his friends and...
[birdsong]
The: Oh, now. We've run out of time.

Graham: So you've had dealings with Daleks as well, then?
Captain: Yeah, they killed me once, long time ago. No big deal.
Ryan: You look pretty healthy for a corpse.
Captain: I know, right?

Donna: So the Source could be a weapon and we've just given directions to Captain Nut-Job?
The: Oh, yes.
Donna: [sighs] Not good, is it?

Cassandra: Wake up and smell the perfume!
[sprays a puff from her perfume bottle into the Doctor's face; he immediately passes out]

The: Nice door skills, Donna.
Donna: Yeah, well, you know. Boyfriends. Sometimes you need the element of surprise.

[talking about Gus]
The: He has tried to entice me here before. Free tickets, mysterious summons, even phoned the Tardis one time.

The: They're preparing to beam down there. A platoon of Judoon. Near the moon. They can't do that.

Ganger: Argh.
The: What's happening?
Ganger: I wonder if we'll get back. Yes, one day. Argh. I've reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.
The: The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on.
The: Would you like a jelly baby?
Ganger: Why? Why? Why?
The: Why what?
Ganger: Hello. I'm the Doctor. No, let it go, we've moved on.
The: Hold on, hold on, you can stabilise.
Ganger: I've reversed the jelly baby of the neutron flow. Would you like a Doctor, Doctor, I'm, I'm the. I can't.
The: No, listen, hold on. Hold on.
Ganger: No!
Ganger: Argh.

Rory: [back on the park bench, forehead-to-forehead with the Doctor] dream. Oh! Sorry, nodded off! Stupid! God, I must be overdoing it! I was just dreaming were back on the TARDIS.
Rory: [to Amy] You just had the same dream, didn't you.
Amy: Back on the TARDIS. Weren't we just saying the same thing?
Rory: But we thought this was the dream, didn't we?
Amy: I think so. Why do dreams have to fade so quickly?
Rory: Doctor, what is going on?
Amy: Is this because of you? Is it some Time Lordy thing because you've shown up again?
The: Listen to me: trust nothing. From now on, trust nothing you see, hear, or feel.
Rory: But we're awake, now!
The: Yeah, and you thought you were awake on the TARDIS, too.
Amy: But we're home.
The: Yeah, you're home, but you're also dreaming. Trouble is, Rory, Amy, which is which? Are we flashing forwards... or backwards? Hold on tight. This is going to be a tricky one.

Jenny: [Holding a sword at the throat of a control guard] Now dear, which button controls the lights?

The: And three very special people I've missed.
Captain: One of them was me, right?
The: You never change.
Captain: Wish I could say the same.

Cassandra: [about a large vintage Wurlitzer jukebox which was wheeled in] And here, another rarity - according to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers - play on!
[a henchman presses a button on the jukebox, which starts playing Soft Cell's "Tainted Love"]

The: Answer me honestly. Am I ginger?
Rose: No, you're just kinda... brown.
The: Aww, I wanted to be ginger!

The: Need a lift anywhere?
Dan: Why? Where are you going?
The: No idea. Wanna come?

[Over the phone, Sally asks Kathy about the TVs in her apartment]
Sally: What's that on all those screens in your front room?
Kathy: [tiredly] Oh, God.
[beat]
Kathy: [panicked] Oh, God! Sally, you've met by brother Larry, haven't you?
Sally: No.
Kathy: You're about to.
[Larry exits the bathroom, naked. He pauses when he sees Sally]
Larry: [half-awake] Okay... not sure, but... really, really hoping.
[Larry points downward]
Larry: Pants?
Sally: [subtle smile] No.
[Kathy rushes in and shoos Larry away]
Kathy: Put your pants on! Put them on! I hate you!

The: There's loads of robots. Throw a stick in this universe, you'll hit a robot.

Donna: I'm here.In Rome.Donna Noble in Rome.This is just weird!I mean, everyone here's dead.

Dan: Is that Mary Seacole? Hello Mary!
Mary: Hello dear. I don't understand any of this.

Donna: There is a giant wasp!
The: What do you mean a giant wasp?
Donna: I mean a wasp, that's giant!
Agatha: It's only a silly little insect.
Donna: When I say giant, I don't mean big, I mean flipping enormous! Look at its sting.

Blue: Scan reveals nothing! TARDIS self-destruct device non-existent!
The: All right...
The: [takes a bite out of the purported self-destruct device] ... it's a Jammie Dodger, but I was promised tea!

Rose: So, who are you supposed to be then?
Captain: [handing her a card] Captain Jack Harkness, 133 Squadron, Royal Air Force. American volunteer.
Rose: Liar. This is psychic paper. It tells me whatever you want it to tell me.
Captain: How do you know?
Rose: Two things. One, I have a friend that uses this all the time, and two, you just handed me a piece of paper telling me you're single and you work out.
Captain: Tricky thing, psychic paper.
Rose: Yeah. Can't let your mind wander when you're handing it over.
Captain: [reading the paper she's just handed back] Oh, you sort of have a boyfriend called Mickey Smith, but you consider yourself to be footloose and fancy-free.
Rose: What?
Captain: Actually the word you use is "available".
Rose: No way.
Captain: And another one, "very".

Krasko: Blue box in the alley, is it a TARDIS?
The: Might be. What's it to you?
Krasko: Well, could be worth a lot.
The: Nah, not that one. Second hand, huge mileage, one careless owner!

Professor: Pretty boy! With me, I said!
[Donna looks at the Doctor suggestively]
The: [pause] Oh, I'm pretty boy!
Donna: Yes! Oh, that came out a bit quick.
The: Pretty?
[Donna and the Doctor shrug]

River: OK. I've mapped the probability vectors, done a foldback on the temporal isometry, chartered the ship to its destination and... parked us right alongside!
The: Parked us? We haven't landed!
River: Of course we've landed - I just landed her!
The: But... it didn't make the noise.
River: What noise?
The: You know, the...
[imitates Tardis noise]
River: It's not supposed to make that noise - *you* leave the brakes on!
The: Yeah, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

Mickey: So, what are you doing in Cardiff? And who's Jumpin' Jack Flash? I mean, I don't mind you hanging out with Big Ears up here...
The: Oy!
Mickey: Look in the mirror. But this guy, I don't know, he's kinda...
Captain: Handsome?
Mickey: More like cheesy.
Captain: Early 21st Century slang, is cheesy good or bad?
Mickey: It's bad.
Captain: But bad means good, isn't that right?
The: Are you saying I'm not handsome?

Nagata: Who the hell do you think you are?
The: Me? I'm in charge.
Nagata: You have no authority.
The: No, but I'm in charge.

Tim: Which one of you shall I kill first?
The: I'm voting none of us.

[last lines]
Rose: [voiceover] Peter Alan Tyler, my Dad. The most wonderful man in the world. Died the 7th of November, 1987.

Craig: A teleport? A tele... a teleport... like a beam-me-up teleport, like you see in Star Trek?
The: Exactly! Someone's been using a beam-me-up Star Trek teleport. Could be disguised as anything.
Craig: A teleport in a shop? That's ridiculous!
[lights flicker in the lift as they teleport out of the shop]
Craig: What was that? Was that the lights again?
The: [in a high voice] Yes, that's it, that's all, it's the lights.
Craig: Why'd you say that like that?
The: Like what? Like, like, like, like what?
[dropping voice]
Craig: Like that, in that high-pitched voice.
The: Just keep looking at me, Craig. Right at me. Just keep looking.
Craig: Why?
The: Well, because, because...
Craig: [starts to look behind him]
The: [grabs Craig] ... because I love you.
Craig: You love me?
The: Yes, Craig, it's you, it's always been you.
Craig: Me?
The: [takes out sonic screwdriver and puts arms around Craig] Is that so surprising?
Craig: Doctor, are you gonna kiss me?
The: Yes, Craig, yes I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I've had some wonderful feedback.
[puckers lips while fidding with his sonic screwdriver]
Craig: Doctor, no, I can't, I'm taken...
[pulls back, looks behind him, and sees an approaching Cyberman]
Craig: Oh my God, what's that!
The: Or we could just hold hands if it would make you feel more comfortable!
Craig: What is happening?
The: Well first of all, I don't really love you, except as a friend.
Craig: What is that?
The: Ahhh!
[sonics the teleporter so they arrive back in the lift]
The: Quick reverse!
Craig: Okay, what the hell just happened!

Annalise: I am not staying in there to be insulted!
Clive: She didn't mean it, sweetheart, she was just saying you look healthy.
Francine: No, I did not - I said "orange".

The: People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them.
Cassandra: It depends on your definition of 'people'. And that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries.

River: A needle in a haystack.
The: A needle that looks like hay. A haylike needle of death. A haylike needle of death in a haystack of... statues. No, yours is fine.

[repeated line]
Idris: Do fish have fingers?

Mr. Copper: I shall be taking you to Old London town in the country of UK, ruled over by Good King Wenceslas. Now human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Eve, the people of UK go to war with the country of Turkey. They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner, like savages!

The: I approach everything with caution. Or abandon. One of the two.

The: They did what?
Bishop: I'm sorry?
The: They left her where?
Bishop: Just... in the street.
The: The street. They left her in the street. They took her face, and just chucked her out and left her in the street. And as a result, that makes things... simple. Very, very simple. Do you know why?
Bishop: No.
The: Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this earth that can stop me!

River: Yes, we are.
The: Sorry, what?
River: Talking about you.
The: [stares intently at his computer tablet] I wasn't listening, I'm busy.
River: Ah. The other way up.
The: [turns his tablet right-side up] Yeah.
Amy: You're so his wife.

Madame: [Madame Vastra tells The Doctor Clara's answer to the One-Word Test] Pond.

Davros: The man who abhors violence, never carrying a gun, but this is the truth, Doctor: you take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons... behold your Children of Time, transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor, you made this.
The: I'm trying to help.
Davros: Already I have seen them sacrificed today, for their beloved Doctor. The Earth woman who fell opening the Sub Wave Network.
The: Who was that?
Rose: Harriet Jones. She gave her life to get you here.
[flashback of Harriet Jones]
Davros: How many more? Just think, how many have died in your name?
[more flashbacks of the people who have died helping The Doctor]
Davros: The Doctor, the man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you yourself.

Clara: I say leg it.
The: Leg it where exactly?
Clara: Dunno. Lake District?
The: Oh, the Lake District's lovely. Let's definitely go there. We can eat scones. They do great scones in the 1920s.

Joan: Where is he... John Smith?
The: He's in here somewhere.
Joan: Like a story... could you change back?
The: Yes.
Joan: Will you?
The: No.

Ricky: You're talking to London's most wanted. But target number one is Lumic and we are going to bring him down.
Mickey: From your kitchen?
Ricky: Have you got a problem with that?
Mickey: No. It's a good kitchen

The: Professor! Let me in! I'm begging you, professor! Professor! Chantho, are you there? Professor, whatever you do, DON'T OPEN THAT WATCH!

Rory: I died and turned into a Roman. It's very distracting.

Pete: Don't worry about him. Couples have rows all the time.
Rose: We're not a couple! Why does everyone think we're a couple?
[sighs]
Rose: I think he left me.

The: [Courtney vomits] Ah yes, there's been a spillage

Martha: Do you have to pass a test to fly this thing?
The: Yes, and I failed it.

Captain: You're going to take the moral high ground with me when I'm breaking you out of prison?

Rose: I, um, I address the Sycorax, um, according to... Article 15 of the Shadow Proclamation. I command you to *leave* this world with all the authority of... the Slitheen Parliament of Raxacoricofallapatorious, and, um, the Gelth Confederacy, as, uh, sanctioned by the Mighty Jagrafess, and, ooh! the Daleks! Now *leave* this planet in *peace*! In peace.
[long pause]
Sycorax: [laughs] Shoo gon gon flak shkee-re!
Alex: "You are very very funny."
Sycorax: Shoo galeah shak sheefflik!
Alex: "And now you're going to die."

Son: He never raised his voice. That was the worst thing... the fury of the Time Lord... and then we discovered why. Why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he had run away from us and hidden. He was being kind... He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star
[Shows Son of Mine's Father screaming wrapped in chains]
Son: He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy
[Shows Wife of Mine falling from the TARDIS' open doors into a bright light screaming]
Son: To be imprisoned there... forever. He still visits my sister, once a year, every year. I wonder if one day he might forgive her... but there she is. Can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror. Every mirror.
[shows a little girl peering out from a mirror]
Son: If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you just for a second, that's her. That's *always* her. As for me, I was suspended in time and the Doctor put me to work standing over the fields of England as their protector.
[Son of Mine suspended from a Scarecrow's crossbrace, the doctor puts a bag over his head]
Son: We wanted to live forever. So the Doctor made sure we did.

John: Five o' clock, Mr Tyler. Famous day!

Clara: Where the hell have you been?
The: You sent me for coffee.
Clara: Three weeks ago. In Glasgow.
The: Three weeks, that's a long time.
Clara: In Glasgow! That's dead in a ditch!

[repeated line]
Dr. Simeon: Winter is coming.

The: [propping a spade to keep a door closed] Physics of a triangle - you lose!

The: Destroy the prison, your body dies. Your mind with it?
[lifts a rock to smash the prison]

General: Increase the ATMOS devices to maximum. Choke them. Behold: the Clone world is born!

Martha: What are Judoon?
The: They're like police. Well, police for hire. They're more like interplanetary thugs.
Martha: And they brought us to the moon?
The: Neutral territory. According to Galactic Law, they got no jurisdiction over the Earth and they isolated it.

Daleks: [the Doctor steps out of the TARDIS and bumps into a few Daleks] Exterminate! Exterminate!
The: [the Daleks fire wildly at The Doctor but nothing happens] Is that it? Useless.
The: [with French pronunciation] Nul points.
The: [beckons to Jack and Rose] It's all right. Come on out. That force field can hold back anything.
Captain: Almost anything.
The: Yes, but I wasn't gonna tell them that, thanks.
Captain: Sorry.

The: Examine everything. Look for all the details that don't ring true.
Rory: OK we're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside.
Amy: With a bow tie-wearing alien.
Rory: Maybe "what rings true" isn't so simple.
The: Valid point.

The: Well?
Clara: Well what?
The: He asked you a question. Will you help me?
Clara: You shouldn't have been listening.
The: I wasn't. I didn't need to. That was me talking. You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone, I'm right here, standing in front of you. Please, just, just see me.

The: ...And how am I gonna react when I see this? A great, big, threatening button. A great, big, threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Looks like some sort of control matrix. But what's powering it? Blood?
[tastes red liquid]
The: Yep, blood. Human blood. A positive... with just a dash of iron. Agh. That means... Blood control. Blood Control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years! So you're controlling all the A positives. WHich leaves us with a great, big, stinkin' problem. I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great, big, threatening button which should never ever ever be pressed, then I just want to do this.
[presses button]

[Lucy shoots the master]
The: It's always the women.

The: Why aren't they stopping?
Donna: They think I'm in a fancy dress.
[a cab drives by and the driver says, 'Get off the sauce, darling!']
Donna: They think I'm drunk.
[a car drives by in the other way and both occupants yell, 'You're fooling no one, mate!']
Donna: They think I'm in drag!
The: Hold on, hold on.
[He whistles and successfully hails a cab]

The: I'm your new undercover agent, on loan from Scotland Yard. Code name, The Doctor. These are my top operatives, The Legs, The Nose, and Mrs. Robinson.
River: [winces] I hate you.
The: No, you don't.

The: Running away with a spaceman in a box, anything could happen to you.
Clara: That's what I'm counting on.

The: Why Lake Silencio? Why... Utah?
Dorium: It's a still point in time. Makes it easier to create a *fixed* point. And your death is a fixed point, Doctor. You can't run away from this.
The: Been running all my life. Why should I stop?
Dorium: Because now you know what's at stake. Why your life must end.
The: Not today.
Dorium: What's the point in delaying? How long have you delayed already?
The: Been knocking about. Bit of a farewell tour. Things to do, people to see. There's always more! I could invent a new color, save the dodo, join the Beatles!
[to phone]
The: Hello, it's me! Get him, tell him we're going out, and it's all on me, except for the money and the driving!
[to Dorium]
The: I have got a time machine, Dorium. It's all still going on for me, it never stops. Liz the First is still waiting in a glade to elope with me. I could help Rose Tyler with her homework! I could go on all of Jack's stag parties in one night!
Dorium: Time catches up with us all, Doctor!
The: Well, it has *never* laid a glove on me!
[to phone]
The: Hello!
Nurse: Doctor, I'm so sorry. We didn't know how to contact you. I'm afraid Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart passed away a few months ago. - Doctor?
The: ...Ye - eh, uh, yes. Yes. Uh, uhh...
Nurse: It was very peaceful. He talked a lot about you, if that's any comfort. Always made us pour an extra brandy, in case you came round one of these days.
Dorium: Doctor? What's wrong?
The: ...Nothing, nothing. Just...
[Long pause. The Doctor takes the envelopes out of his pocket and looks at them]
The: It's time. It's time.

Waitress: We don't serve Negroes.
Ryan: Good. 'Cause I don't eat them.
Waitress: [looks at Yasmin] Or Mexicans.
Yasmin: Is she talking to me?

[repeated line]
The: Bow ties are cool.

[his first line]
The: Run.

Amy: [Kovarian screams in agony as Amy and Rory walk away] So, you and me, we should get a drink some time.
Rory: OK.
Amy: And married.
Rory: Fine.

Businessman: Excuse me. Is that legal?
The: Sorry, motorway patrol
[coughs]
The: whatever. Have you got any water?
Businessman: Certainly, I'll not let it be said I've lost my manners.

The: Martha Jones! I can see you! Come on little girl, come and meet your master.

Martha: Do you reckon it's gonna work, those two?
The: I don't know. Anywhere else in the universe I might worry about them, but New York- it's what this city's good at. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses and maybe the odd pig-slave-Dalek-mutant-hybrid, too.
Martha: [laughs] The pig and the showgirl.

Astrid: This Christmas thing? What's it about?
The: Long story. I should know. I was there. I got the last room.

The: [moving stone tablets] Put this one... there. *This* one... there. Uh, keep that one upside down. What have you got?
Lucius: Enlighten me.
The: What, the soothsayer doesn't know?
Lucius: A seed may float on the breeze in any direction.
The: Yea, I knew you were gonna say that. But- it's an energy converter!
Lucius: An energy converter of what?
The: I don't know! Isn't that brilliant? I love not knowing! Keeps me on me toes. It must be awful being a prophet, waking up every morning, "Is it raining? Yes, it is. I said so." Takes all the fun out of life.

[toby appears possessed by something]
Mr. Jefferson: Stand down and be confined immediately!
Toby: Mr Jefferson, tell me sir, did your wife ever forgive you?
Mr. Jefferson: I don't know what you mean.
Toby: Let me tell you a secret. She never did.

[last lines]
Rose: So, where we gonna go first?
The: [pointing into the sky] Um. That way. No, hold on - that way.
Rose: That way?
The: Mmm?
Rose: [smiling] Yeah. That way.

Gibbis: All I want to do is go home and be conquered and oppressed. Is that too much to ask?

[Timothy sets eyes on the fob watch and hears voices coming from within]
Woman: Time Lord.
Young: The time is coming.
Woman: Time Lord.
The: Eternity and infinity.
Young: Right, Timothy- Timothy! Hide yourself.
The: The secret lies within. I'm trapped. I'm caged inside the cogs and metal in the dark, but waiting. Always waiting.

The: [in 1207 C.E., sees that the phone in the Tardis is ringing] That is not supposed to happen!
[opens the phone cabinet, next to the "St. John Ambulance" logo]
The: Hello?
Clara: [from phone] Ah, hello! I can't find the internet.

Amy: Raggedy Man... goodbye!

[the Doctor, Martha, Frank, and Solomon have volunteered to work for Mr. Diagoras, and they have entered the sewer]
Mr. Diagoras: Turn left. Go about a half a mile. Follow Tunnel #273. The fall is right in front of you. You can't miss it.
Frank: And when do we get our dollar?
Mr. Diagoras: When you come back up.
The: And if we don't come back up?
Mr. Diagoras: Then I've got no one to pay.
Solomon: Don't worry, we'll be back.
Martha: Let's hope so.

The: [as they enter the command aircraft] Where are we going? Cloudbase?
Kate: You mean the Valiant?
Osgood: Cloudbase was the Thunderbirds'.

General: Under the jurisdiction of the Emergency Protocols, I authorize you to execute this man!
[hear guns cocking, all point at the Doctor]
The: Ah, well now, yes, you see, the thing is, if I were you, if I was going to execute someone by backing them against a wall, between you and me, a little word of advice:
[elevator bell dings, doors slide open]
The: don't stand them against the lift!
[steps backward; closes the doors with his Sonic Screwdriver, smiling]

Lilith: [explaining the Carrionites plan] And from this world we will lead the universe back into the old ways of blood and magic.
The: [walks up to her] Hmm, busy schedule. But first you've gotta get past me.
Lilith: Oh, that should be a pleasure.
[leans in seductively]
Lilith: Considering my enemy has such a handsome shape.
The: Now that's one form of magic that's definitely not gonna work on me.
Lilith: Oh, we'll see.
[cuts a piece of hair off of him]
The: What's that for? What did you do?
Lilith: Souvenir.

Rory: Are you sure, River? Are you really, properly sure?
River: Of course I'm sure! I'm his wife!
Amy: Yes! And I'm his...
[realises]
Amy: ... mother-in-law.
River: [to Rory] Father dear, I think mummy might need another drink.

Voice: Welcome to the Universe!

The: Actually, Sir, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll resign. Bye, then!
[Suki's body grabs The Editor's foot, causing him to trip]
The: Let go of me!

The: What are you? Pathways? Signals? Synapses? I could be inside something. Oh, I hope it's not a liver. I hate being inside livers. People always get so offended. "What are you doing in my liver again?"

The: We're on Gallifrey! "Death" is Time Lord for "man flu".

The: Okay, so that's where I end up.
[looking down at Trenzalore from the Tardis door]
The: I always thought maybe I'd retire, take up watercolours or beekeeping or something. Apparently not.
Clara: So, how do we get down there? Jump?
The: Don't be silly! We fall.

Gabriel: What did you say, Doctor? Explain it again. What are they?
The: Aliens.
Gabriel: Like foreigners, you mean?
The: Pretty foreign, yeah. From up there.
[points upwards]
Gabriel: Brecon?

Rose: With you, did he do that thing where he'd explain something at like, 90 miles an hour, and you'd go "What?", and he'd look at you like you've just dribbled on your shirt?
Sarah: All the time!
[laughs]
Sarah: Does he still stroke bits of the TARDIS?
Rose: [giggling] Yes, he does! I'm like "do you two want to be alone"?
Rose: [both crack up laughing]
The: [walks into the lab] How's it going?
Rose: [burst out hysterically laughing]
The: What? Listen, I need to figure out what's programmed inside these?
Rose: [still laughing, Rose points at him]
The: What?
[annoyed]
The: Stop it!

The: [to the Silence] As I was saying, my naughty friend here is going kill the first three of you to attack, plus him behind. So maybe you want to draw lots or have a quiz.
Rory: What's he got?
Rory: Something, I hope.
The: Or maybe you could just listen a minute, because all I really want to do is accept your total surrender, and then I'll let you go in peace. You've been interfering in human history for thousands of years. People have suffered and died. But what's the point in two hearts if you can't be a bit forgiving now and then?
[the Silence just stare at the Doctor]
The: Ooh! The Silence. You guys take that seriously, don't you? Okay, you got me, I'm lying. I'm not really going to let you go that easily. Nice thought, but it's not Christmas. First, you tell me about the girl. Who is she? Why is she important? What's she for? Guys, sorry. But you're way out of time. Now, come on, a bit of history for you. Aren't you proud? Because you helped. Do you know how many people are watching this live on the telly? Half a billion, and that's nothing, because the human race will spread out among the stars, you just watch them fly. Billions and billions of them, for billions and billions of years. And every single one of them, at some point in their lives, will look back at this man, taking that very first step, and they will never, ever forget it. Oh... but they'll forget this bit.
[takes out a mobile phone]
The: Ready?
Canton: Ready.
[Canton presses two mobile phones together, triggering a device]
Neil: [the moon landing on live TV in the background] It's one small step for man...
The: [video interrupts the broadcast] You should kill us all on sight. You should kill us all on sight.
The: You've given the order for your own execution, and the whole planet just heard you.
Neil: ...one giant leap for mankind.
The: And one whacking great kick up the backside for the Silence! You just raised an army against yourself. And now, for a thousand generations, you're going to be ordering them to destroy you every day. How fast can you run? Because today's the day the human race throws you off their planet. They won't even know they're doing it. I think quite possibly the word you're looking for right now is, "Oops!" Run! Guys, I mean us! Run!

Rose: Don't you come anywhere near me, Cassandra.
Cassandra: Why? What do you think I'm going to do? Flap you to death?

The: Tweet, tweet. Time to sleep
[birdsong]
The: Oh. Or are you waking up?

The: [On the phone to the Atraxi] Oi! I didn't say you could go! Article 57 of the Shadow Proclamation. This is a fully established, Level 5, planet, and you were going to burn it? What...? Did you think no one was watching? You lot, back here, now!
[Ends the call and tosses phone to Rory]
The: Ok. Now I've done it!
Rory: Did he just bring them back? Did he just save the world from aliens, and then bring all the aliens back again?

Mother: The universe is cracked, the Pandorica will open, silence will fall.

[the Face of Boe lays dying on the floor of the New, New York senate and finally reveals his great secret to Doctor, described in legend as the wandering traveller who will be the recipient of the great secret upon the Face of Boe's death]
Face: But know this , Time Lord, you are not alone.

Colonel: Jenkins.
Ross: Sir!
Colonel: You will accompany the Doctor; take orders from him.
The: Yeah, I don't do orders.
Colonel: Any sign of trouble get Jenkins to declare a code red. And good luck, Sir.
[salutes the Doctor]
The: I said no salutes.
Colonel: [as he walks away] Now you're giving orders.
The: [half smiling] Little bit cheeky, aren't we?

The: Oh, Ashildr Dotterweinar, what happened to you?
Ashildr: You did, Doctor. You happened.

Rory: But that's my favourite car. How did you know that was my favourite car?
The: You showed me a picture once and said "That's my favourite car".

The: I'm following bread crumbs laid out for me. This is somebody's game, and I can't stop playing a game everybody else has lost.

The: Human beings. You always manage to find the boring alternative, don't you?

[the doorbell rings]
Kathy: What are you doing? It could be a burglar!
Sally: A burglar who rings the doorbell?

The: So, with the understanding that was pretty alarming, don't be overly alarmed.

The: I'm saving the world - I need a decent shirt. To hell with the raggedy. Time to put on a show!

Moran: Maybe it's some kind of experimental craft that got left behind when they abandoned the site.
Bennett: Wait, you think the Army would just lose a prototype weapon?
Moran: You're new to the military, aren't you, son?

The: [leafing through Rose's copy of 'Heat' magazine] That won't last. He's gay and she's an alien.

Rose: Oh, I love this! Can I just say, traveling with you... I love it.
The: Me too.

The: [from trailer] D'you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do then I should warn you; you'll see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be safe, it won't be quiet and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be; the trip of a lifetime!

Lucius: The prophecies of women are limited and dull. Only the men folk have the capacity for true perception.
Donna: [partly to herself] I'll tell you where the wind's blowing right now, mate.

The: [old and walking on a cane, climbs to the top of the clock tower] Sorry I'm a bit slow, may not be at my best right now...
Daleks: You are dying, Doctor!
The: Yes, I'm dying. You've been trying to kill me for centuries, and here I am - dying of old age. If you want something done, do it yourself...
Daleks: You will die, and the Time Lords will never return!
The: You still can't work up the courage to shoot me, can you?
[jabs his cane in the air]
The: You're still worried I've got something up my sleeve!
[lowers his cane, sighs]
The: Well, you knock yourselves out boys. I've got nothing this time...
[the Daleks converge and open fire, destroying parts of Christmas town]
Daleks: [Suddenly, a MASSIVE crack in space opens in the sky. As the Doctor looks at it, regeneration energy flows from the crack and into his mouth, his eyes widen and he looks down to see his hands glowing] You will die now, Doctor! This is the end of you! The rules of regeneration are known! You have expended all your lives!
The: [energized] Sorry, what did you say? Did you mention "the rules"? Now listen, bit of advice - tell me the truth if you think you know it, lay down the law if you're feeling brave! But, Daleks - never, ever, tell me the rules!
Daleks: [panicking] Emergency! Emergency! The Doctor is regenerating! The Doctor is regenerating!
The: [dancing around excitedly] Oh, ho ho! Look at this - Regeneration Number Thirteen, we're breaking some serious science here, boys! I tell you what - it's gonna be a whopper! Ha ha!
Daleks: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR!
The: HA! You think you can stop me now, Daleks? IF YOU WANT MY LIFE
[laughs]
The: - COME. AND. GET IT!
[the Doctor thrusts his arms out, unleashing powerful streams of energy, shooting Daleks out of the sky]
Clara: Get inside! Get inside! Quick! Quick!
[hurries the townsfolk indoors]
The: [laughs triumphantly] Love from Gallifrey, boys!
[the Doctor leans forward, then tosses his head back, unleashing a mighty blast up at the Dalek ship. A powerful shockwave rips through the town, blowing the Daleks away]
Daleks: Aaaahhhh!

The: Because it's always the same. When you fire the first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die. You don't know whose children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken. How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill... before everybody does what they were ALWAYS going to have to do from the very beginning! SIT. DOWN. AND. TALK.

[Missy and the Master are dancing a slow waltz together]
Twelfth: You two want to be alone now? Which in your case would mean more than it usually does.

The: Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you... and umption.

Yasmin: What are they, these Cybermen?
The: They're one of the most dangerous species I've ever encountered, up there with the Daleks.
Ryan: Oh, I can't wait to meet then, then.
Graham: And they're in our future?
The: They're always somewhere. Waiting.

The: [the Sandmen roar] Hold my hand.
Clara: I'm okay.
The: I'm not.

The: Ah Milady, the train awaits.

The: [finds Lilith floating outside the window] Well that's just cheating.
Lilith: Behold, Doctor. Men to Carrionites are nothing but
[whips out a doll]
Lilith: puppets.
The: Now you might call that magic, but I call that a DNA replication module.
Lilith: What use is your science now?
[stabs the doll]
The: Aah!
[collapses while Lilith flies off laughing]

Martha: What's that thing?
The: Sonic screwdriver.
Martha: Well if you're not going to answer me properly.
The: No, really it is. It's a screwdriver, and it's... sonic. Look.
Martha: [scoffing] What else have you got? A laser spanner?
The: I did, but it was stolen by Emmeline Pankhurst. Cheeky woman.

The: [pointing a weapon at the Daleks] Who's going to tell me that Clara Oswald is really dead?
Missy: [in the sewers, listening over the intercom] He'll burn everything - us too.
Dalek: Clara Oswald is not alive.

Rose: [about Madame De Pompadour] The Queen must've loved her.
The: Oh, she did. They got on very well.
Mickey: The King's wife and the King's girlfriend?
The: France. It's a different planet.

Rose: [to the Doctor] You're gonna get a smack you are!

[last lines]
The: [noticing the rain] Oh! Get quite a bit of this, atmospheric disturbance. Still, it'll pass. Everything does. Bye then, Wilfred.
Wilfred: Oh, Doctor... what about you now? Who've you got? I mean... all those friends of yours...
The: They've all got someone else. Still, that's fine. I'm fine.
Wilfred: I'll watch out for you, sir.
The: You can't ever tell her!
Wilfred: No, no, no...
Wilfred: But, every night, Doctor... when it gets dark, and the stars come out, I'll look up... on her behalf. I'll look up at the sky... and think of you.
The: Thank you.

The: [Hope] doesn't just offer itself up, you have to use your imagination. Imagine the solution and work to make it a reality.

The: Human society is... stagnating. You've stopped moving forward. In fact, you're regressing.
Bill: Well, this isn't exactly much better.
The: It's safer.
Bill: Not so much for the people the Monks are killing.
The: The Romans killed people and saved billions more from disease, war, famine, and barbarism.
Bill: No, wait. What about free will? You believe in free will. Your whole thing is... You made me write a 3000-word essay on free will!
The: Yes, well, you had free will, and look at what you did with it. Worse than that, you had history. History was saying to you, "Look, I've got some examples of fascism here for you to look at. No? Fundamentalism? No? Oh. Okay. You carry on." I had to stop you, or at least not stand in the way of someone else who wanted to. Because the guns were getting bigger, the stakes were getting higher, and any minute now, it's gonna be "Goodnight, Vienna". By the way, you never delivered that essay.
Bill: Because the world was invaded by zombie monks!

The: You really are dying, aren't you?
Davros: Do you doubt it?
The: Yes.
Davros: Then we have established one thing only.
The: What?
Davros: You are not a good Doctor.

Doctor: Prof. Yana, this new science is well beyond me. But all the same, a boost reversal circuit in any time frame must be a circuit which reverses the boost. So, I wonder, what would happen if I... did... this?
[uses sonic screwdriver on a cable, then pulls it apart. Sirens sound and lights flash in lab]
Chantho: Chan, it's working, tho!
Prof. Yana: But how did you do that?
Doctor: While we've been chatting away, I forgot to tell you: I'm brilliant.

[Rita and Amy take refuge in a room where a sad clown is sitting on the bed]
Rita: Has it to do with you?
[Amy shakes her head "no"]
Rita: Hello...
Amy: Don't talk to the clown!

Sarah: I thought you died. I waited for you and you didn't come back and I thought you must have died!
The: I lived. Everyone else died.
Sarah: What do you mean?
The: Everyone died, Sarah.

Ashildr: I've always been different. All my life I've known that. The girls all thought I was a boy. The boys all said I was just a girl. My head is always full of stories. I know I'm strange. Everyone knows I'm strange. But here I'm loved. You tell me to run, to save my life. I tell you that leaving this place would be death itself.

The: Nothing gets through these doors.
Bill: But they're made of wood.

Madame: I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my disfigurement. I do not wear it as a courtesy to such people, but as a judgment on the quality of their hearts.
Clara: Are you judging me?
Madame: The Doctor regenerated in your presence. The young man disappeared, the veil lifted. He trusted you. Are you judging him?

Amelia: [after knocking over the model Nile Penguins] Sorry.

The: [shouting] The play's the thing.
[turning to Shakespeare]
The: And yes, you can use that.

The: We haven't got much time. If there's pilot fish then... why is there an apple in my dressing gown?
Jackie: Oh, that's Howard's, sorry.
The: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
Jackie: He gets hungry...
The: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
Jackie: Sometimes.

The: I hate being wrong in public, everybody forget that happened.

Clara: You. Now, you listen to me. You're going to be alone now, and you're very bad at that. You're going to be furious and you're going to be sad, but listen to me. Don't let this change you. No, listen. Whatever happens next... wherever she is sending you, I know what you're capable of. You don't be a warrior. Promise me. Be a Doctor.
The: What's the point of being a Doctor if I can't cure you?
Clara: Heal yourself. You have to. You can't let this turn you into a monster. So... I'm not asking you for a promise. I'm giving you an order. You will not insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die, and no-one else, here or anywhere, will suffer.
The: What about me?
Clara: If there was something I could do about that, I would. I guess we're both just going to have to be brave.

Rose: So, near future, yea?
The: I had a passing fancy, only it didn't pass, it stopped.

The: [surprises the Daleks by arriving in Davros' chair] Admit it - you've all had this exact nightmare.

Rose: He will be there when you need him. That's the way it gotta be.
Madame: It is the way that has always been. The monster and the doctor. It seems you cannot have one without the other.

Queen: I take it, Sir, that you halted my train to bring me here
Father: We have waited so long for one of your journeys to coincide with the moon.
Queen: Then you have waited in vain. After six attempts on my life,
[she reaches into her clutch-bag and pulls out a pistol, aiming it at him]
Queen: I am hardly unprepared.
Father: Oh, I don't think so, woman.
Queen: The correct form of address is Your Majesty.
[she shoots]

Jackie: The hours I've sat here, days and weeks and months, all on my own! I thought you were dead! And where were you travelling? What the hell does that mean, "travelling"? That's no sort of answer!
[to the police inspector in the apartment]
Jackie: You ask her. She won't tell me. That's all she says: "traveling".
Rose: That's what I was doing.
Jackie: But your passport's still in the drawer! It's just one lie after another!
Rose: I meant to phone. I really did, I just... I forgot.
Jackie: What, for a *year*? You forgot for a year? And I am left sitting here? I just don't believe you! Why won't you tell me where you've *been*?
The: Actually, it's my fault. I sort of, uh, employed Rose as my companion.
Policeman: When you say companion, is this a sexual relationship?
The: [look at each other, and then say] No!
Jackie: [getting in the Doctor's face] Then what is it? Because *you*, you waltz in here all charm and smiles, and the next thing I know she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you then? 40? 45? What, did you find her on the Internet? Did you go online and pretend you're a doctor?
The: I am a doctor!
Jackie: Prove it! Stitch this, mate!
[slaps him very hard across the face]
Jackie: [Later, as Jackie embraces Rose]
Jackie: Did you think about me at all?
Rose: I did! All the time! But...
Jackie: One phone call. Just to know that you were alive!
Rose: I'm sorry. I really am.
Jackie: Do you know what terrifies me, is that you still can't say. What happened to you, Rose? What could be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart? Where were you?

[the Doctor and Rose come across the head of a Cyberman in Van Statten's museum]
The: Oh, look at you!
Rose: What is it?
The: An old friend of mine, well... enemy. The stuff of nightmares, reduced to an exhibit. I'm getting old.

Diane: I figured systems have a purpose, and if it's buried it's to prevent interference. So I interfered.

The: They're Krillitanes!
Rose: And is that bad?
The: Very. Think how bad things could possibly be, then add another suitcase of bad.

Clara: Is it a sad song?
The: Nothing's sad till it's over; then everything is.

The: There have always been rumours. Stories passed from traveller to traveller, mutterings about hidden streets, secret pockets of alien life right here on Earth. Like a smuggler's cove, only not a cove, because it's right here, right in the middle of the capital.
Rigsy: The hidden places are in the Great British Library?
The: No. The maps are.

Daleks: All hail the new Daleks! All hail the new Daleks!
White: Yes. You are inferior.
Daleks: Yes.
White: Then prepare.
Daleks: We are ready!
White: Cleanse the unclean! Total obliteration! Disintegrate!
[the blue Dalek destroys two of the "impure" Daleks, while the red one disintegrates the remaining one]

The: Come on, we'd better get you home.
Vincent: Where are you staying tonight?
The: Oh! You're very kind.

The: If I had my screwdriver I could send a sonic pulse and stun it.
Kazran: Well, where's your screwdriver?
The: Well, concentrating on the pluses
[eyeing the green light emanating from the shark's throat]
The: , within reach.

The: These are all coma patients?
Rory: Yeah
The: No, they're all the multiform. Eight comas, eight disguises for Prisoner Zero
Amy: He had a dog, though. There's a dog in a coma?
The: Well, coma patient dreams he's walking a dog, Prisoner Zero gets a dog. Laptop! Your friend, what was his name, not him, the good looking one!
Rory: Thanks!
Amy: Jeff.
Rory: Oh, thanks.

Ven: She's unarmed sir.
Droxil: Who are you?
Ven: Wait Armed! No, Unarmed. Sorry sir, she' s wearing wool sir. Natural Fabrics they interfere with our...
Droxil: Please say we can tell the difference between wool and sidearms.
Ven: We can tell the difference sir.
Droxil: Can we?
Ven: Not always sir, no.

Danny: [pointing to the top of a Geometry diagram] How do we find "X"? Ruby?
Ruby: It's there sir, at the top.
Danny: No, how do we find...
Ruby: It's not lost. It's there, at the top, look!
Danny: No, how do we find the value of "X"?
Ruby: Why are you asking me all the questions? Give someone else a go.

The: But you've been drawing though. I'm rubbish. Stickmen are about my limit. I can do this, though.
[gives a Vulcan salute]
The: Can you do that?

The: Rule one of dying, don't. Rule two, slow down.

[At the blackboard, the Doctor is making a crude drawing of a rocket ship made up of simple shapes. Also on the board are asterisk-like marks meant to represent stars]
The: So, how does space kill you? I'm glad you asked.
[the Doctor is in the lecture hall with students filling the seats ten rows back in a half circle]
The: The main problem is pressure.
[He draws some lines connecting some stars]
The: There isn't any. So don't hold your breath or your lungs will explode!
The: [connecting more stars] Blood vessels rupture. Exposed areas swell. Fun fact: the boiling temperature of water is much lower in a vacuum, which means that your sweat and your *saliva* will boil, as will the fluid around your eyes.
[Bill is in the class and feeling a bit uncomfortable]
The: You won't notice *any* of this, because 15 seconds in, you passed out as oxygen bubbles formed in your blood, and 90 seconds in...
[Nardole is also observing from the back of the room near the exit as the Doctor puts the final flourishes of chalk on the blackboard]
The: You're dead.
[On the blackboard is a partial drawing of a skull made by connecting the stars]
The: Any questions?
[One student looks around and raises her hand]
The: [pointing] Yes.
Blonde: What's this got to do with crop rotation?
[Nardole looks in her direction. Another student coughs]
The: Uh, I-I don't know. But space is great, isn't it?

The: I'm gonna find out what he's up, and then I'll dazzle you with a beautiful bit of improvisation.
Yasmin: You mean there's no plan.
The: Early days.

Rose: Think about it, though. Christmas 1860. It happened once. Just once, and it's... gone, it's finished. It'll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone, a hundred thousand sunsets ago. No wonder you never stay still.
The: Not a bad life.
Rose: Better with two.

The: Hello, the TARDIS.
Clara: Emergency. You're my boyfriend.
The: Ding dong. Okay, brilliant! I may be a bit rusty in some areas but I will glance at a manual.
Clara: No, no. You're not actually my boyfriend.
The: Oh. That was quick. It's a roller coaster, this phone call.
Clara: But I need a boyfriend. Really quickly.
The: Well, I hope you're nicer to the next one.
Clara: No! Shut up! Christmas dinner. Me. Cooking.
The: So?
Clara: So I may have accidentally invented a boyfriend.
The: Yeah, I did that once and there's no easy way to get rid of an android.

The: Really shouldn't take that long just to reverse the polarity. I must be a bit out of practice.

The: Mr. Shakespeare, isn't it?
William: Oh, no. No no no. Who let you in? No autographs, no you can't have yourself sketched with me, and please don't ask where I get my ideas from. Thanks for your interest, now be a good boy and shove...
[he then notices Martha]
William: Hey, nonny nonny!

Clara: Saved the world then?
The: Yeah. That's what we do.

[when asked by Rose to dance]
The: Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete...

Dalek: Daleks do not have friends.
The: Yeah, well, you only got yourselves to blame for that.

Captain: I met a soldier in a bar...
[Ianto shoots him a death glare]
Captain: [to Martha] Long story.
Ianto: When was that?
Captain: Strictly professional!

The: I have to find out what he's looking for. Alone. You need backup. All of us against one. One Cyberman, but then thousands. Humans like all of you changed into empty, soulless shells. No feeling, no control, no way back. I will not lose anyone else to that. Do not follow me.

The: But is he, Ryan? His thoughts, his words inspire and influence thousands for centuries. If he dies now, who knows what damage that will have on future history? Words matter! One death, one ripple, and history will change in a blink. The future will not be the world you know. The world you came from, the world you were created in won't exist, so neither will you. It's not just his life at stake. It's yours. You want to sacrifice yourself for this? You want me to sacrifice you? You want to call it? Do it now. All of you. Yeah. 'Cause sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me at the summit in the stratosphere, alone, left to choose. Save the poet, save the universe. Watch people burn now or tomorrow. Sometimes, even I can't win.

Jenny: And Time Lords, what are they for?
The: For? They're not for anything.
Jenny: So what do you do?
The: I travel. Through time and space.
Donna: He saves worlds, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures and runs a lot. Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved.
The: [opens hidden door] Got it!
[shouts echo]
The: Now, what were you saying about running?

Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas!
The: Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?
Rose: What?

Tibo: Ryan, where am I?
Ryan: Alright, mate, try not to freak out, yeah? But you're on a floating space platform in a gravitational pull between two colliding planets halfway across the universe 'cause of the guy who was stealing your nightmares through creepy detachable fingers.
Tibo: Prank?
Ryan: No.
Tibo: Take me through that again.

The: Time travel, we keep meeting in the wrong order.

Bill: Are you from space?
The: No of course not. Nobody's from space. I'm from a planet like everybody else.

The: Oh dear, I liked you before you said missiles.

The: The first rule of being interrogated is that you are the only irreplaceable person in the torture chamber. The room is yours, so work it. If they're going to threaten you with death, show them who's boss. Die faster. And you've seen me do that more often than most. Isn't that right, Clara?

The: It's a completely faithful recreation of the Orient Express, only slightly bigger.

The: [the Doctor looks at his reflections in the dresser mirrors] Why do you have three mirrors? Why don't you just turn your head?
Clara: What are you doing in here?
The: You said you had a date. I thought I'd better hide in the bedroom in case you brought him home.

Clara: You've been here before?
The: Yes, I came here a long time ago with my granddaughter.

Winston: [Looking at the painting containing the message for the Doctor] Can't say I understand it.
Bracewell: You don't have to understand it, Prime Minister; you just have to deliver it.

Kate: Kate Stewart. Divorcee, mother of two, keen gardener, outstanding bridge player. Also chief scientific officer, Unified Intelligence Taskforce - who currently have you surrounded.

Amy: [talking on the phone] Hey! Doctor, it's me. Hello. So, the UN classified the cubes as provisionally safe, whatever that means. And Banksy and Damien Hirst put out a statement saying the cubes are nothing to do with them.

The: Donna, come on, think: Earth, there must have been some sort of warning. Was there anything happening back in your day, like... electrical storms, freak weather, patterns in the... sky?
Donna: Well, how should I know? Um, no. I don't- I don't think so. No.
The: [disappointed] Oh, OK, nevermind.
Donna: Although, there were the bees disappearing.
The: [dismissive] The bees disappearing.
The: [sarcastic] The *bees* disappearing.
The: [revelational] The bees disappearing!

Idris: [as the TARDIS] Doctor. Are you there? It's so very dark in here.
The: I'm here.
Idris: I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word but so sad. I've found it now.
The: What word?
Idris: "Alive." I'm alive.
The: Alive isn't sad.
Idris: It's sad when it's over. I'll always be here. But this is when we talked. And now, even that has come to an end. There's something I didn't get to say to you.
The: Goodbye.
Idris: No. I just wanted to say... hello. Hello, Doctor.
[Starts to cry]
Idris: It's so very, very nice to meet you.
The: [Crying] Please... I don't want you to. Please.
Idris: [Fades away in a ball of light and whispers] I love you.

The: No. No, I'm with this friend of mine. Donna. She stayed behind in the Leisure Palace. You?
Sky: No, it's just me.
The: Oh, I've done plenty of that, traveling on my own. I love it! Do what you want, go anywhere.
Sky: Ah, I'm still getting used to it. I found myself single rather recently, not by choice.
The: What happened?
Sky: Oh, the usual. She needed her own space, as they say. A different galaxy, in fact. I reckon that's enough space, don't you?
The: Yeah. I had a friend who went to a different universe.

The: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.

[Mickey is flying a zeppelin]
Rose: [through a walkie talkie] Mickey, where did you learn to fly that thing?
Mickey: Playstation.

[the Slitheen have killed General Asquith, and the one posing as Oliver Charles has taken over his skin]
General: What do you think? How's the compression? I think I've got too much ballast around the middle.
[farts]
General: Oh, that's better.
Margaret: We've really got to fix the gas exchange. It's getting ridiculous.
Joseph: I don't know, it seems very human to me. Uh, better get rid of his skin.
General: [picks up Oliver's skin and walks over to the closet, and visibly not too happy at his new disguise] A shame. I quite enjoyed being Oliver! He had a wife, a mistress and a young farmer.
[He throws Oliver's skin into the closet, where Harriet Jones picks it up and examines it]
General: God, I was busy! Back to work, I've got an army to command!
Margaret: Careful now.

Clara: Where's the crew?
The: Digested.

Agatha: [referring to the Doctor] Detective, you missed a very big clue.
The: What? That bit of paper you nicked out of the fire?
Agatha: You were looking the other way!
The: Yeah, but I saw your reflection in the glass of the bookcase.
Agatha: [smiling] You crafty man!

Madame: Strax! You're over excited! Have you been eating those jelly sherbet fancies again?

The: [identifying Jack's weapon] Sonic Blaster. Fifty-first century. Weapons factory at Villengard?
Captain: You've been to the factories?
The: Once.
Captain: Well, they're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical, vaporized the lot.
The: Like I said. Once.
[looking over at Rose; matter-of-factly]
The: There's a banana grove there now.
[looks at Jack; smiling]
The: I like bananas. Bananas are good.

Jennifer: I thought I was going to die.
Rory: Welcome to my world.

Donna: [running away from the giant wasp] Great! Now it's chasing us!

The: [long pause] Hello, sweetie.
River: You are so doing those roots.
The: What, the roots of the sunset?
River: Don't you dare.
The: I'll have to check with the stars themselves.
River: Oh, shut up.

The: Would you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?

[her first lines in the episode]
The: What?
[turns around, sees the creature, then stuns it with a live wire]
The: Should buy us a few seconds.
[looks up to the hole in the ceiling]
The: Oh, yeah. Long story. Tell you later. Doors?
Grace: Locked shut.
The: We'll see about that.
[searches in her pockets for her sonic]
The: No sonic. Empty pockets. Ohh! I hate empty pockets!

[Martha has collapsed after being named]
Lilith: Only sleeping, alas. It's curious. Name has less impact. She's somehow out of her time. As for you, sir Doctor...
[she pauses, at a loss]
Lilith: Fascinating. There is no name. Why would a man hide his title in such despair- oh, but look: there's still one word with the power of the days.

The: Do you need a hand with the dishes? We're really very good, aren't we, Bill?
Bill: Yeah.
Friday: Friday does not require help.
Bill: [stepping up] Happy to. Honestly. Though, uh, he's better at dryin'.
[the Doctor joins her, together displacing Friday from his task]
The: Yes. Don't like the soapy water; makes the fingers go all crinkly. Nice to be home, I bet. Of course, it would be better if they'd, uh, 'killed the fatted calf,' so to speak.
[Friday turns and starts walking away]
The: Rolled out the red-planet carpet. Then you're the last of your kind, aren't you, according the the Colonel.
[Friday stops, looks back]
The: So no one left to do the rolling.
Friday: I *am* the last.
[Friday looks away, but the Doctor presses on]
The: How can you be sure?
Friday: [turns to face them] There was a war. A great and terrible war. Friday saw much blood. Now all is gone. My world is dead.
The: [as Friday turns away] But-but while you were asleep, on your ship, in stasis. Maybe there *are* others.
Friday: [turns back again] Friday would... feel... the presence of others. Friday is alone.
The: [walks up to his face] Why'd you call yourself that? What's your real name? An Ice Warrior would never let these humans patronise him without a reason. You're helping the pig. For what?
Friday: Mars still has many riches.
The: [walking away, clearly sceptical] Which you are happy to share.
Friday: Why should not others benefit instead?
[Friday walks away]
Bill: Maybe he's telling the truth.
The: Maybe.
Bill: Wha', can't we give him the benefit of the doubt? I mean, just because he's a big green monster...
The: You think I'm taking sides? I'm not taking sides. The universe is too complicated, far too nuanced. Things are never quite black and white. There are individual aliens just as there are individual humans. Different languages, accents, politics. Different times, different... loyalties.

Half: Where is another one?
Clara: I don't know, but I know where he would be, where he will always be. If The Doctor is still The Doctor, he will at my back.

The: You?
Ashildr: Yes, it is me. What took you so long, old man?

The: I want to tell you everything.
Yasmin: I'd like that.

Rory: [Watching the Doctor seal Amy inside the Pandorica] Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
The: Saving her. This box is the ultimate prision. You can't even escape by dying. It forces you to stay alive.
Rory: But she's already dead!
The: Well, she mostly dead. the Pandorica can stasis lock her that way. Now all it needs now is a scan of her living DNA, and it'll restore her.
Rory: Where's it going to get that?
The: [Looks at his watch] In about 2,000 years.
[the Doctor walks off]

The: The metal is just battle armour. The real Dalek creature is inside.
Henry: What does it look like?
The: A nightmare. It's a mutation. The Dalek race was genetically engineered. Every single emotion was removed except hate.
Henry: Genetically engineered. By whom?
The: [about Davros, the Dalek's creator] By a genius, Van Statten. By a man who was king of his own little world. You'd like him.

Professor: Right, I have questions. But number one is this: what in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The: It's a fez, I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

Clara: Okay, we split up, cover more ground. I'm good cop, you're bad cop.
The: No, no, no, we don't have... can I not be the good cop?
Clara: Doctor, we discussed this - your face!
The: Oh, yeah.

The: This is your power source and feeble though it is, I can use it to blow this whole room if I see one thing that I don't like. And that includes karaoke and mime, so take no chances.

The: [from a recording] I am the Doctor, a Time Lord from Gallifrey. I've agreed to this memory wipe of my own free will.
Clara: I am Clara Oswald, human. I've agreed to this memory wipe of my own free will.
[softer]
Clara: Do I really have to touch that worm thing?
The: [in background] Yes, you do. And change your shoes

Elton: I was all cozy when all of a sudden
[windows smash behind him, Elton wakes up abruptly]
Elton: There was glass everywhere and I was barefoot! I had to create a rudimentary pulley system just to get to me boots!

Fortune: I see... a man... the most remarkable man. How did you meet him?
Donna: You're supposed to tell me.
Fortune: I see the future, tell me the past. When did your lives cross?
Donna: It's sort of complicated. I ended up on a spaceship on my wedding day. Long story.

Clara: Look, as long as you get me home safe and on time, everything is great. I am so sorry. I've had a wobble. It's a big wobble but it's fine. Forget about it. Now, shut up and give me some planets.

[the Doctor is writing notes on a wall with a marker]
Graham: Oi! Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? That is vandalism, we'll have to pay for that!
The: Don't worry, special pen.
Graham: No, pack it in, you ain't Banksy!
The: [replying in a mysterious tone of voice] Or am I?

Jenny: They blasted through the beams. Time to run again? Love the running, yeah?

The: Lost them. How could they get away from us?
Rose: I'm surprised they didn't turn back and arrest you for reckless driving. Have you actually passed your test?
The: Men in black? Vanishing police cars? This is Churchill's England, not Stalin's Russia!

Lily: What's happening?
The: No idea. Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan.

Tim: You're interfering in things you don't understand.
The: Yeah, well, we all need a hobby.

Clara: [trying to reach the sonic screwdriver with her feet] I think I can just about reach it.
The: It's at times like this I miss Amy.
Clara: Who?

Missy: [singing] Oh, Missy! You're so fine! You're so fine, you blow my mind! Hey Missy! Hey Missy!

Graham: And... so's Polidori. I lost him.
The: You had one job.
Graham: Yeah, made more challenging by his ability to walk through walls.

The: [Realising Rory has opened the Pandorica and unlocked the shackles] How did you do that?
Rory: [Holds up the sonic screwdriver] You gave me this.
The: [Taking his sonic screwdriver from his inside pocket] No, I didn't!
Rory: Yes you did, look at it.
The: [Steps out of the Pandorica and gently places his sonic screwdriver next to the one Rory is holding, causing a small spark] Temporal energy. Same screwdriver at different points in it's own time stream, which means it was me who gave it to you. Me from the future. I've got a future - that's nice!
The: [Spotting the Stone Dalek] That's not!

River: What sort of medical school did you go to?
The: A really good one, for doctors.

The: Rickston, Mister Copper and you, Bannakaffalatta. Look, can I just call you Banna? It's going to save a lot of time.
Bannakaffalatta: No. Bannakaffalatta.
The: All right then, Bannakaffalatta.

The: You're a very smart man. l'd call you genius except l'm the the room.

The: [grabs a newspaper] The date on this newspaper.
Donna: What about it?
The: It's the day that Agatha Christie disappeared.

Amy: People phone you?
The: Well, Its a phone box.

Jenny: So, you don't have a name either? Are you an anomaly too?
The: No.
Donna: Oh come off it, you're the most anomalous bloke I've ever met.

The: Oh, well there goes the advantage of surprise. Still! Cuts to the chase. Stay in here, look after Jackie.
Rose: I'm not looking after my mum!
The: Well you brought her!
Jackie: I was kidnapped!
Rose: Doctor, they've got guns.
The: And I haven't. Which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high-ground is mine.

River: Doctor, I can't let you do this.
The: No, seriously, get a grip.
River: You're not going to die here!
The: No, I mean it. River, Amy, get a grip.

Dalek: Daleks are not worried.
The: You should be.

[first lines]
Mask: [with increasing intensity] Mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy.
The: Go to your room.
[mask creatures stop]
The: Go to your room! I mean it. I am very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross. Go... To... Your... Room!
[mask creatures turn and go back to their beds]
The: [sighing] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

Margaret: [gasping for breath after failing to escape The Doctor for the third time] This is persecution. Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?
The: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Margaret: Apart from that.

Agatha: You make a rather unusual couple.
The: [together] Oh, no no no no, we're not married.
Donna: [together] Yeah, we're not a couple.
Agatha: Well, obviously not. No wedding ring.
[Donna and the Doctor exchange admiring glances]
The: Oh, oh! You don't miss a trick.

Jenny: I should've locked up before we went into the trance.
Vastra: Jenny, it doesn't matter.
Jenny: Someone's broken in. Someone's with us. i can hear them.
Vastra: Jenny, are you alright?
Jenny: Sorry, Mum. So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. I think I've been murdered.

Ashildr: You must be Clara Oswald - you're as beautiful as your photos.
Clara: We met.
Ashildr: Yes, I know. It's in my diaries. Oh, don't look like that. I enjoyed our conversations. I've read them many times.
Clara: Okay, that's slightly odd but nice.

The: Clara said I shouldn't take revenge. You should know I don't always listen.

The: This is impossible. The end of the universe is chasing us.

Marsissus: [to the Doctor] You talk to secure yourself time to think.

Rose: She slapped you!
The: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.
Rose: Your face!
The: It hurt!
Rose: You're so gay. When you say nine hundred years...
The: That's my age.
Rose: You're nine hundred years old?
The: Yep.
Rose: My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap.
[jumps down off the wall]
Rose: Every conversation with you just goes mental. And there's no-one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things... and I'm the only person on planet Earth that knows they exist.
[At that moment, a large spaceship flies overhead, crashing into Big Ben and landing in the Thames]
Rose: Oh, that's just not fair!
[the Doctor laughs]

[last lines]
The: By the way, did I also mention it also travels in time?
Rose: [to Mickey] Thanks.
Mickey: Thanks for what?
Rose: Exactly.
[she kisses him, then turns and runs toward the TARDIS]

Advert: The Ood. They came from a distant world. They voyaged across the stars. All with one purpose...
The: [cuts to an Ood holding out a cup of tea] Do you take milk and sugar?

The: By the ancient rights of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of time. And when you go back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential, when you talk of the Earth, then make sure that you tell them this...
[shouts]
The: ...it is defended!

The: Professor Lazarus, remember him? And his genetic manipulation devise. What, did you think that little Tish got that job merely by coincidence? I've been laying traps for you all this time. And if I can concentrate all that Lazarus technology into one little screwdriver... But ohh, if only I had the Doctor's biological code. Oh, wait a minute, I do! I've got his hand! And if Lazarus made himself younger, what if I reverse it? Another... hundred years?

John: So your job was to execute me?

Bill: Traveling to the past, there's got to be rules. If I step on a butterfly, it could send ripples through time that mean I'm not even born yet in the first place, and I could just disappear.
The: Definitely. I mean, that's what happened to Pete.
Bill: Pete?
The: Your friend, Pete. He was standing there a moment ago, but he stepped on a butterfly. Now you don't even remember him.
[Bill is horrified, then realizes he's joking]
Bill: Shut up! I'm being serious.
The: Yeah, so was Pete.
Bill: You know what I mean. Every choice I make in this moment, here and now, could change the whole future.
The: Exactly like every other day of your life. The only thing to do is to stop worrying about it.
Bill: [grumbles] Okay, if you say so.
The: Pete stopped worrying.

The: Progenitor? What's that when it's at home?

Rose: Are you okay?
Reinette: No, I'm not. But you and I both know, don't we, Rose, that the Doctor is worth the monsters.

The: Time travel is damage, it's like a tear in the fabric of reality. That is the scar tissue of my journey through the universe. My path through time and space. From Gallifrey to Trenzalore.

Old: No, gorgeous girl, you can't. There's only tonight. He told me, all those years ago, that we'll only meet again this one time, on the night I die.
Sally: Oh Billy...
Old: It's kept me going; I'm an old sick man but I've had something to look forward to.
[sighs]
Old: Life is long, and you are hot!
[laughs, pause]
Old: Look at my hands. They're old man's hands - how did that happen?
[pause]
Sally: I'll stay. I'm gonna stay with you ok?
Old: Thank you Sally Sparrow.
[pause]
Old: I have til the rain stops.

[first lines]
The: Jackie, Mickey, blimey! No, no, no, no, hold on. Wait there! I've got something to say. I've got something I had to tell you. Something important, what was it? No, no, no, hold on. Tch tch tch tch... Oh, I know! Merry Christmas!

River: There are so many theories about you and I, you know?
The: Idle gossip.
River: Archaeology.
The: Same thing!

Madame: No one will ever believe me.
The: That's what makes a good legend.

The: Don't spend it all on sweets. Unless you like sweets. I like sweets.

The: [talking with baby Alfie] No, he's your dad.
The: You can't just call him 'Not Mum'.
Craig: Not Mum?
The: That's you. Also 'Not Mum', that's me.
The: [leaning to hear Alfie] And everybody is...?
The: "Peasants".
The: That's a bit unfortunate.

Clara: After you. I'm wearing a dress. Eyes front, soldier.
The: My eyes are always front.
Clara: [the Doctor climbs up the ladder] Mine aren't.
The: Stop it!
Clara: No.

Clara: So who was she? The lady with the funny name and the space hair.
The: An old... friend of mine.
Clara: What, like an ex?
The: Yes, an ex.

Captain: [when he realizes his Sonic Blaster's stopped working] Damn it! It's the special features, they really drain the battery.
Rose: The battery?
[both run through the door the Doctor just opened; after she stops]
Rose: It's so lame.
Captain: I was going to send for another one but *somebody's*
[looking at the Doctor]
Captain: got to blow up the factory.
Rose: Oh, I know. First day I met him, he blew my job up. That's practically how he communicates.

[only line, repeated]
The Adherents of the Repeated Meme: A gift of peace in all good faith.

Graham: This 'cause you're alive and breathing, 'cause of us.
Ravio: Are you gonna keep going on about that?
Graham: Yes. Every hour on the hour.

Missy: He can be very mean sometimes. Except to me, of course. Because he loves me so much. I do like his new accent, though. I think I might keep it.

The: Take a good long look. It takes a moment to see it.
Young: See what?
The: Superman and Clark Kent are one in the same person.
Young: Are you serious?
The: Yeah, look, I drew specs on Superman.
Young: Everyone knows they're the same person.
The: Well Lois Lane doesn't, and she's a reporter.

The: Why does peacekeeping always involve killing?

The: Allons-y!

[the Professor throws a switch, locking the Doctor and others out]
Chantho: Chan- But you've locked them in- Tho.
The: Not to worry my dear. As one door closes another must open.
[he throws another, letting the Futurekind into the silo]

The: [to Adam] The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guide book. You've got to throw yourself in, eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers - or is that just me? Stop asking questions. Go and do it!
[to Rose]
The: Off you go then. Your first date.

River: The Doctor's death doesn't frighten me, nor does my own. There's a far worse day coming for me.

Cline: Jenny, come back.
Jenny: Sorry, can't stop. What are you gonna do, tell my dad?
Cline: But where are you going?
Jenny: Oh, I've got the whole universe. Planets to save, civilisations to rescue, creatures to defeat and an awful lot of running to do.

Professor: It'll kill you stone dead!
The: Yeah, it's easy to criticize.
Professor: You'll burn up both your hearts, and don't think you'll regenerate!
The: I'll try my hardest not to die. Honestly, it's the main thing.
Professor: Doctor!
The: I'm right! This'll work! Shut up! Now listen, you and Lux, work back up to the main library, prime any data cells you can find for maximum download. And before you say anything else Professor, can I just mention in passing as you're here - shut up!
Professor: [furious] I hate you sometimes!
The: Oh, I know!
Professor: Mr. Lux, with me. Anita, if he dies, I'll kill him!

The: I'll investigate. It's probably nothing. Usually nothing. I say "usually".

Sycorax: Who are you?
The: Well, that's the question, isn't it?
Sycorax: I demand to know who you are!
The: I DON'T KNOW! I mean, I know I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I-I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. So I'm testing. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic?
[hopeful]
The: Sexy?
[winks]

River: I hate good wizards in fairy tales; they always turn out to be him.

The: The TARDIS... she's time, we... Wibblely wortex... and so on.

Yasmin: [to the Doctor] So what do we do?
Robertson: Why are you asking her?
Ryan: Cause she's in charge, bro.
Robertson: Says who?
Yasmin: [at the same time] SAYS US!

Jenny: Now then, that's enough noise. We don't want to attract attention, do we?
Clara: I'm looking for the Doctor. Do you know about him, the Doctor?
Jenny: Doctor who?

The: If it's time to go, remember what you're leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.

Oswin: Is there a word for "total screaming genius" that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?
The: Doctor. You call me the Doctor.
Oswin: I see what you did there.

The: Well, when we sleep, the mucus crust builds up in our eyes. Blood cells. Skin cells. That's what dust largely is. Human skin. But your meddling has evolved it. Hot-housed it. What used to be sleep in your eye has turned into a carnivorous lifeform.

The: [spots tray of hors d'oeuvres] Ooh, they've got nibbles! I love nibbles.

Amy: So you have enemies then?
The: Everyone's got enemies.
Amy: Yeah but mines the woman outside Budgen's with the mental Jack Russell, you've got like you know arch enemies.
The: [Looks thoughtful] I suppose so.

The: Doesn't time fly when you don't have all the answers?

Blue: Demons run when a good man goes to War.

The: But the chips allow me to see inside their heads, find the smallest doubt and crush it!

The: Think of the fear that went into making this box. What could inspire that level of fear? Hello, you. Have we met?

[looks out a window]
The: Riiight...

The: Who are you people?
First: I am the Doctor and this is my...
Twelfth: It's complicated, actually I am also...
First: ...my nurse.
Twelfth: Excuse me?
First: I realize that seems a little improbable...
Twelfth: Well, yes.
First: ...because he is a man!
Twelfth: What?
First: Older gentlemen, like women, can be put to use.
Twelfth: You can't say things like that.
First: Can't I? Says who?
Twelfth: Just about everyone you're gonna meet for the rest of your life.

Tallulah: Hey, you're lucky, though. You got yourself a forward-thinking guy, with that hot potato in the sharp suit.
Martha: Oh, he's not - We're not - together.
Tallulah: Oh sure you are! I've seen the way you look at him, it's obvious.
Martha: Not to him.
Tallulah: Oh! I should have realized. He's into musical theatre, huh? What a waste.

[the Doctor is desperately trying to persuade Craig to do something that's been fatal for everyone else so far]
Craig: Will it work?
The: Yes!
Craig: Are you sure?
The: Yes!
Craig: Is that a lie?
The: Of course it's a lie!
Craig: That's good enough for me!
[Does as the Doctor says]

Elliot: Have you met monsters before?
The: Yeah.
Elliot: Are you scared of them?
The: No. They're scared of me.

The: You've swallowed a planet!
Amy: I'm pregnant!
The: You're huge.
Amy: Yeah, I'm pregnant.
The: Look at you. When worlds collide.
Amy: Doctor, I'm pregnant.
The: Look at you both. Five years later and you haven't changed a bit apart from age and... size...
Amy: It's good to see you, Doctor.
The: Are you pregnant?

Rose: This is a bit posh. If I knew it was gonna be like this, being arrested, I woulda done it years ago.
The: We're not being arrested. We're being escorted.
Rose: Where to?
The: Where do you think? Downing Street.
[laughs]
Rose: You're kidding.
The: I'm not.
Rose: Ten Downing Street?
The: That's the one.
Rose: Oh my God, I'm going to Ten Downing Street. How come?
The: I hate to say it, but Mickey was right. Over the years I've been to this planet a lot of times, and I've been noticed.
Rose: And now they need you?
The: Like they said on the news. They're gathering experts on alien knowledge. And who's the biggest expert of the lot?
Rose: Patrick Moore?
The: Apart from him.
Rose: Oh, don't you just love it?

Bennett: [after meeting Prentis] My first proper alien and he's an idiot.

The: Now, then, you lot - Sarah, hold that down, Mickey, you hold that - 'cause you know why this TARDIS is always rattling about the place? - Rose, that, there - it's designed to have six pilots and I have to do it singlehanded - Martha, keep that level - but not anymore - Jack, there you go, steady that - now we can fly this thing-... n-no, Jackie, no, no, not you, don't touch anything, just... stand back - like it's meant to be flown!

Mandy: How do you not know about this? Are you Scottish too?
The: Oh, I'm way worse than Scottish, I can't even see the movie, won't play for me.
Amy: It played for me.
The: The difference being the computer doesn't accept me as human.
Amy: Why not? You look human.
The: No, you look Time-Lord, we came first.
Amy: So there are other Time-Lords yeah?
The: No, there were, but there aren't. Just me now. Long story, it was a bad day, bad stuff happened and you know what I'd love to forget it all, every last minute of it, but I don't.

The: You've already endangered one of my friends. I want your personal guarantee that you will not endanger another.
Clara: Shut up, I can handle myself.
Ashildr: I guarantee the safety of Clara Oswald. She will be under my personal protection. That is absolute.

[repeated line]
Daleks: Can I be of assistance?

The: Davros is my archenemy. Why would I want to talk with him?
Missy: Now wait, hang on a minute. Davros is your archenemy now?

The: There was another box. I was going to press another button. I was going to wipe out all of my own kind - man, woman, and child. I was so sure I was right.
Bonnie: What happened?
The: Same thing that happened to you. I let Clara Oswald get inside my head. Trust me, she doesn't leave.

[possessed by the sun]
The: Burn with me. Burn with me, Martha.

Amy: She's the TARDIS?
The: And she's a woman! She's a woman and she's the TARDIS.
Amy: Did you wish really hard?
[raises eyebrow at The Doctor]
The: Shut up! Not like that...
Idris/Tardis: Hello, I'm... Sexy.
The: Still shut up.

Wilfred: Can we swap guns?

The: Well, you can't really tell if something's an addiction till you try and give it up.

Rose: What do I do? Do I stay with him?
Sarah: Yes, some things are worth getting your heart broken for.

[the Doctor is trying and failing to sonic the mirror]
The: Oh, and I can't force it with the sonic like before because it's clever and it's adapting.
Yasmin: What if you do something it hasn't dealt with before, like reverse the polarity or something?
The: Yasmin Khan, you speak my language!

Suki: [on floor five hundred, Suki, who has been revealed as a member of an anarchist organization, pulls a gun on The Editor] Who controls Satellite Five?
The: [the Editor begins to put his hands up, but then promptly bursts out laughing] There's the truth.
Suki: The Freedom Foundation has been monitoring Satellite Five's transmissions. We have absolute proof that the facts are being manipulated. You are lying to the people.
The: Ooh, I love it. Say it again.
Suki: This whole system is corrupt. Who do you represent?
The: I'm merely a humble slave. I answer to the editor-in-chief.
Suki: Well, who is he? Where is he?
The: He's overseeing everything. Literally everything. If you don't mind, I'm going to have to refer this upwards.

Rory: This is where she told me to go. She said she'd send me the passkey. Ah!
[Rory gets a telepathic message from Idris]
Rory: [speaking together] "Crimson... Eleven... Delight... Petrichor."
Amy: Petrichor?

The: [to Rory in 102 A.D., setting his Vortex Manipulator] Listen to me. This is the last bit of advice you're going to get in a very long time. You're living plastic, but not immortal. I have no idea how long you'll last. And you're not indestructible. Stay away from heat and radio signals when they come along. You can't heal, or repair yourself. Any damage is permanent. So, for God's sake, however bored you get, stay out of...
[the Doctor abruptly vanishes. Rory pulls his sword and begins his long vigil over The Pandorica. 1,894 years later, Amy has just learned of Rory's efforts to protect it and her over time and his disappearance in 1941, presumed dead in a fire]
Dalek: Exterminate!
Amelia: What's that?
[Amy runs up to stand between the Dalek and Amelia]
Dalek: Exterminate!
The: [suddenly appearing between Amy and the Dalek] - trouble. Oh!
The: [turns around] Two of you? Complicated.

[last lines]
The: What Clara said... about not taking revenge, do you know why she said that?
Ashildr: She was saving you.
The: I was lost a long time ago; she was saving you. I'll do my best, but I strongly advise you to keep out of my way. You'll find that it's a very small universe when I'm angry with you.

Parker: Whoa.
Madame: Thank you Parker, I won't be needing you again tonight.
Parker: Yes, m'lady.

The: I'd blush if I had a blood supply, or a real face.

Clara: Whiskey is the eleventh most disgusting thing ever invented.

River: Everybody knows that everybody dies. And nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark, if he ever, for one moment, accepts it.

Rose: moonlight, but it needs moonlight. It's made of moonlight!
The: Yer well your seventy percent water but you can still drown

Clara: [Clara repeats lines from a previous encounter with The Doctor] Run. Run, you clever boy, and remember.

Bill: Why are you Scottish?
The: I'm not Scottish, I'm just cross.
Bill: Is there a Scotland in space?
The: They're all over the place, demanding independence from every planet they land on.

Rose: Doctor, they've got guns.
The: And I haven't, which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine.

Vincey: No you ain't getting me involved in this lark, Jackdaw!
Jackdaw: Oh, go on, be a sport! You'll get your share of the rhino, I promise.

Jackie: What does he eat?
Rose: How do you mean?
Jackie: I was going to do Shepherd's Pie. All of us. Proper sit-down. 'Cause...
[clears throat]
Jackie: I'm ready to listen. I want to learn about you and him and that life you lead. Only, I don't know, he's an alien! For all I know, he eats grass and safety pins and things.
Rose: He'll have Shepherd's Pie.
[pauses]
Rose: You're going to cook for him?
Jackie: What's wrong with that?
Rose: He's finally met his match.

The: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a unpunctual alien attack.

Yvonne: I did my duty to queen and country! I did my duty. I did my duty. Oh God. I did my duty.

The: [puts his teacup down] Course, the real question is, 'Where did he get the cup of tea?' Answer - I'm the Doctor. Just accept it.

Amy: So, what's he like? In the future, I mean. Cause you know him in the future, don't you?
River: The Doctor?
[smiling innocently]
River: Well, the Doctor's the Doctor.
Amy: Oh, well, that's, um, very helpful. Mind if I write it down?

The: Home again, home again, jiggety jig!

Joan: Women might train to be doctors, but hardly a scivvy and hardly one of your colour.
Martha: Oh, d'you think? Bones of the hand. Carpal bones, proximal row: scaphoid, lunate, triquetral, pisiform. Distal row: trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate. Then the metacarpal bones extending in three distinct phalanges: proximal, middle, distal.
Joan: You read that in a book.
Martha: Yes, to pass my exams!

The: Ok, we're going to get to that command deck, and we're going to stop the angels, we're going to save Amy, and we're going to get everybody home.
River: How?
The: I'll do a thing.
River: What thing?
The: I don't know! It's a thing in progress! Respect the thing.

The: You are a broom. Question, you take a broom, you replace the handle, and then later you replace the brush. And you do that over and over again. Is it still the same broom?

Lazarus: Why don't you come out and face me?
The: Have you looked in the mirror lately? Why would I want to face that, hmm?

The: Is that the kind of person I am? Rude and not ginger?

The: What have you been doing on your own against the Daleks for a year?
Oswin: Making soufflés.
The: Soufflés against the Daleks.
[laughs]
The: Where do you get the milk?

The: I am being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed. What's the point in having you all?

Dalek: This day is ending. Humankind is weak; you shelter from the darkness. And yet... you have built all this.
Mr. Diagoras: That's progress. Gotta move with the times, or you get left behind.
Dalek: My planet is gone. Destroyed in a Great War. Yet versions of this city stand throughout history. The human race always continues.
Mr. Diagoras: We've had wars. I've been a soldier myself, and I swore then I'd survive. No matter what.
Dalek: You have rare ambition.
Mr. Diagoras: I'm gonna run this city, whatever it takes. By any means necessary.
Dalek: You think like a Dalek.
Mr. Diagoras: I'll take that as a compliment.

The: Er, Centurian, permission to hug?
Rory: Be aware, I do have a sword.
The: [salutes him] At all times.
[hugs Amy]

The: [the Tardis phone rings] Hardly anyone in the universe has that number.
Clara: Well, I've got it.
The: Yes, from some woman in a shop. We still don't know who that was.

River: He thinks he's so cool when he does that.

The: [to Strax] Oy! Shut up, you're not clever or funny and you've got tiny little legs!

[a light suddenly shines down in a beam onto Amy Pond]
Interface: Welcome to the Two Streams facility!
[the light switches off]
Amy: Um, who are you and why can't I see you?
Interface: [the ceiling tile lights up and shines on her again] I am the Interface between yourself and the systems of the Two Streams facility. I will be your guide, your teacher, your friend.
[the light switches off and a video wall panel behind the counter shows the Check-In Girl]
Check: Welcome to Two Streams. What is your name, please?
Amy: Amy. Amy Pond.
Check: Welcome, Amy Pond. I see you're traveling alone. As a resident, you will now have access to all of the entertainment zones inside. For a taste of adventure, why not try the Mountain Zone and explore Appalappachia's famous glass-mirror mountains? Or try our Roller Coaster Zone, authentically modeled on the famous Warp Speed Death Ride at Disneyland Clom. All you could wish for, and more, is through the depature gate, provided for you with kindness.

Clara: So, you must have thought I was dead for a while?
The: Yeah.
Clara: How was that?
The: Longest month of my life.
Clara: It could only have been five minutes.
The: [the Doctor pauses and looks up at Clara] I'll be the judge of time.

Amy: You do have a plan, don't you?
The: No, I have a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Val: Oh, and you're so special!
The: As it happens, yes I am.

Twelfth: [to the Masters] No! No! When I say no, you turn back around!
[catches up with them]
Twelfth: Hey! I'm going to be dead in a few hours, so before I go, let's have this out, you and me, once and for all. Winning? Is that what you think it's about? I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because, because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun and God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do, because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. It's just that. Just kind. If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, you know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. You're going to die too, some day. How will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand, is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help, a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?

Captain: Make yourself comfortable. Carry on with whatever it was you were... doing.
The: We were talking about dancing.
Captain: It didn't look like talking.
Rose: It didn't feel like dancing.

Dorium: I admire your courage; I should like to admire it from afar.

Canton: [straightens the Doctor's bow tie] What? What are you staring at?
River: Look at your hand.
Canton: [sees the implant flash] Why's it doing that?
The: What does it mean if the light's flashing? What did I just tell you?
Canton: I haven't...
The: Play it.
Canton: [from the implanted recorder] My God, how did it get in here?
The: [from the implanted recorder] Keep eye contact with the creature and when I say, turn back, and straighten my bow tie.

Rose: [talking about Clive] You're not coming in? He's safe. He's got a wife and kids.
Mickey: Yeah! Who told you that? He did. That's exactly what an internet lunatic murderer would say.

Amy: You look human.
The: No, you look Timelord. We came first.

Donna: [after the Doctor goes back to save Caecillius & his family] Thank You.
The: Yeah.
[pause, he works with dials on the TARDIS; finally looks at her]
The: You were right. Sometimes I need someone.
[beat]
The: Welcome aboard.
Donna: Yeah.
[both smile at each other]

Agatha: Death comes as the end and justice is served.
The: 'Murder at the Vicar's Rage'.
[pause]
The: Needs a bit of work.

Suki: You take a lot in very fast.
The: Yes, I do. It's one of my skills.

Missy: Hello. How may I assist you with your death?

Cyberman: Daleks and Cybermen; together we can upgrade the universe.
Dalek: You propose an alliance?
Cyberman: That is correct.
Dalek: Request denied!
Cyberman: Hostile elements will be deleted.
[the Cybermen fire; but their weapons have no effect on Dalekanium]
Dalek: EXTERMINATE!
[the Dalek returns fire; killing the Cybermen]

Clara: [voice-over] I don't know where I am.
The: Clara!
Clara: [voice-over] I just know I'm running. Sometimes it's like I've lived a thousand lives in a thousand places. I'm born, I live, I die. And always there's the Doctor. Always I'm running to save the Doctor again and again and again. And he hardly ever hears me. But I've always been there.
Clara: [speaking to the first Doctor] Doctor.
The: Yes? What is it? What do you want.
Clara: [voice-over] Right from the very beginning
Clara: [to the first Doctor] Sorry. But you were about to make a very big mistake. Don't steal that one; steal this one. The navigation system's knackered, but you'll have much more fun.
Clara: [voice-over] Right from the day he started running.

Ambrose: [about the church door] I can't open it. It keeps sticking, the wood's warped.
The: Any time you want to help!
Rory: Can't you sonic it?
The: It doesn't do wood.
Rory: It doesn't do wood? That is rubbish!
The: Oi, don't diss the sonic!

River: It's so strange when you go all baby-face. How early is this for you?
The: Very early.
River: So you don't know who I am yet?
The: How do you know who I am? I don't always look the same.
River: I've got pictures of all your faces. You never show up in the right order, though. I need the spotter's guide.

[first lines]
Clara: Hi! What can I get you?
The: I don't have any money.
[raises guitar]
The: But I play.
Clara: OK.
[the Doctor sits down]
Clara: Don't you need to plug that thing in?
The: Yeah.

Adam: Oh my God, I'm going to be sick!
[He heaves. His cheeks puff. Then he stops. He frowns. Puzzled. Strangely calm, he reaches into his mouth, and plucks out a sick-coloured lozenge]
Nurse: Special offer, we installed a vomit-o-matic at the same time. Now that turbines have been installed in the lining of your throat, in the event of sickness, they freeze the waste.

Ms: Report.
Guard: [over the radio] Sorry. Hello, who is this?
Ms: This is Ms. Delphox, head of bank security. I sent you to investigate an off-wold intruder.
Guard: Did you? Well, I was wondering what we're doing here. We found these amazing worms!

Missy: [about Davros] I'll scratch his eye out.

[the Abzorbaloff is about to absorb Elton when the TARDIS appears in front of them]
The: [Exits the TARDIS and addresses Elton] Someone wants a word with you.
[Rose exits the TARDIS]
Rose: [annoyed] You upset my mum.
Elton: [confused, nods at Abzorbaloff] Great, big, absorbing creature from outer space and you're having a go at me?
Rose: No one upsets my mum!

Ace: I'm sorry we fell out. I'm sorry I judged you. I didn't understand the burden you carried.
Seventh: All children leave home sooner or later. The joy is to watch them fly.
Ace: So, we're good?
Seventh: Oh, we're more than good. We're ace!

Agatha: The stories are true. I found my husband with another woman. A younger, prettier woman. Isn't it always the way?
Donna: Well, mine was with a giant spider, but... same difference.
Agatha: [laughs] You and the Doctor talk such wonderful nonsense!

The: The Bank of Karabraxos is impregnable. The Bank of Karabraxos has never been breached. You will rob the Bank of Karabraxos.

The: I'm missing something obvious, Rory! Something big, something right slap in front of me, I can feel it.
Rory: Yeah, I think you probably are.

[final lines]
Francine: [on the phone] Martha, it's your mother. Please, phone me back, I'm begging you! I know who this Doctor really is! I know he's dangerous! You're going to get yourself killed! Please trust me! This information comes from Harold Saxon himself. You're not safe!

[first lines]
[the TARDIS materializes on the Powell Estate, and the Doctor and Rose step out]
Rose: How long have I been gone?
The: Twelve hours.
[They both laugh]
Rose: Oooh! Right, I won't be long, I'm just gonna see my mum.
The: What're you going to tell her?
Rose: I don't know! I've been to the year 5 billion... and only been gone, what, 12 hours?
[the Doctor gives something between a laugh and a snort]
Rose: No, I'll just tell her I've spent the night at Shareen's. See you later!
[walks off, and then turns back]
Rose: Oh - don't you disappear.
[She runs inside]
Rose: [the Doctor catches a glimpse of a poster on a telephone pole. He looks closer, and notices that it is a Missing Persons notice - for Rose. It says that "Rose Tyler has been missing from her home on the Powell Estate since 6 March 2005. Rose is described as 5'4", slim build, with shoulder-length blonde hair." Upstairs, Rose enters her flat]
Rose: I'm back! It was Shareen. She was all upset again. Are you in?
[Jackie walks out of the kitchen with a cup of tea]
Rose: So, what's been going on? How've you been?
[Jackie looks like she's just seen a ghost]
Rose: What? What's that face for? It's not the first time I've stayed out all night.
[Outside, the Doctor gets the gist of the poster, that they have landed one year ahead of when they intended to land, and runs inside]
Jackie: It's you.
Rose: Of course it's me!
Jackie: [shaken, and teary] Oh, my God. It's you. Oh my God.
[She throws her arms around Rose, who is rather alarmed. Rose looks over her mother's shoulder and sees more variants of the Missing Persons notice that the Doctor has just seen, including, for instance, "It has been more than six months since Rose Tyler went missing from her home."]
The: [suddenly bursts into the apartment] It's not 12 hours, it's er... 12 months. You've been gone a whole year.
[He laughs apologetically while Rose and Jackie both look at him, stunned]
The: Sorry.

Donna: But... we were getting married.
Lance: Well, love, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle! Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap. Oh, Brad and Angelina, is Posh pregnant, X factor, Atkins diet, feng shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me - dear god, the never-ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia! I deserve a medal.

Elliot: The graves around you eat people.

Yasmin: Have you got family?
The: No. Lost them a long time ago.
Ryan: How do you cope with that?
The: I carry them with me. What they would have thought and said and done. Make them a part of who I am. So even though they're gone from the world, they're never gone from me.

Missy: Would it help you focus if I extracted some of your vital organs and made a lovely soup?
Razor: You would never be so... self-destructive. But then again, neither would I.

The: [about the telescope] It's a bit rubbish. How many prisms has it got? Way too many... the magnification's gone right over the top, that's a stupid kind of -
[aside to ROSE]
The: - am I being rude again?
Rose: Yup.
The: But it's pretty! Very... pretty!

Clara: We're not a team.
Missy: Of course we are! Every miner needs a canary.

Rose: I can't tell her, I can't even begin. She's never gonna forgive me. And I missed a year. Was it good?
The: Middling.
Rose: You're so useless.

Dalek: Victory is yours, but it does not please you?
The: You looked inside me and you saw hatred. That's not victory. Victory would've been a good Dalek.
Dalek: I am not a good Dalek. You are a good Dalek.

Lucius: Is that so? Man from Gallifrey.
The: What?
Lucius: The strangest of images; your home is lost in fire, is it not?
Donna: Doctor, what are they doing?
Lucius: And you, daughter of... London!
Donna: How does he know that?
Lucius: It is the gift of Pompeii, every single oracle tells the truth.
Donna: But that's impossible.
Lucius: Doctor, she is returning.
The: Who is? Who's she?
Lucius: And you, daughter of London, there is something on your back.
Donna: What's that mean?
Evelina: Even the word Doctor is false. Your real name is hidden, it burns in the stars, in the cascade of Medusa herself. You are a Lord, sir. A Lord of Time.

Martha: You can't experiment on people, it's insane. It's inhuman!
Dalek: We are not human.

Lucy: You promised, you said Archangel was one hundred percent.
The: Oh... ninety nine, ninety eight?

Oswin: [her first lines] Day 363. The terror continues. Also, made another soufflé.
[takes badly burned soufflé out of the oven]
Oswin: Very nearly.

Adam: Maybe I could just go and sit on the observation desk. Would that be alright? Soak it in. Y'know, pretend I'm a citizen of the year two hundred thousand.
Rose: D'you want me to come with you?
Adam: No, no. You stick with the Doctor.
[pause]
Adam: You'd rather be with him.
[pause]
Adam: It's gonna take a better man than me to get between you two.

The: Now listen, you're going to need this.
[hands her the sonic screwdriver and psychic paper through the tiny Tardis door]
Clara: Ow, wow! This is an honour. Does this mean I'm you now?
The: No, it does not. So don't get any ideas.

Professor: I always sing a song.
Clara: What?
Professor: To keep my spirits up.
Clara: Yeah that would work. If this were Pinocchio.

The: Urgh. Kissing and crying. I'll, I'll be back in a bit.
Rory: [Turns to face the doorway] Oi! You - get in here - now!

Ohila: Hope is a terrible thing on the scaffold.

Danny: It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you when you know what lies they've told you.

Rose: You don't have to do this any more. There must be something else, not just killing. What else is there? What do you want?
Dalek: I want... freedom.

River: Look around you. The starship Harmony And Redemption, minimum ticket price one billion credits, plus the provable murder of multiple innocent life forms. Suites are reserved for planet-burners.
[picks up a drink from a passing waiter]
River: Thank you. Even the staff are required to have a verifiable history of indiscriminate slaughter. This is where genocide comes to kick back and relax. Do try the fish.

The: Now it ends, Doctor. NOW it ends!

The: A forest in a bottle in a spaceship in a maze. Have I impressed you yet, Amy Pond?
Amy: [in awe] Seven.

The: The trouble with Daleks is they take so long to say anything. Probably die of boredom before they shoot me.

Queen: [Rose and the Doctor kneel before Queen Victoria who is armed with a sword] By the power invested in me by the Church and the state, I dub thee
[taps the sword on the Doctor's shoulders]
Queen: Sir Doctor of Tardis. By the power invested in me by the Church and the state, I dub thee
[does the same for Rose]
Queen: Dame Rose of the Powell Estate. You may stand.
The: [Rose and the Doctor stand up] Many thanks, Ma'am.
Rose: Thanks. They're never gonna believe this back home.
The: Your Majesty, you said last night about receiving no message from the Great Beyond. I think your husband cut that diamond to save your life. He's protecting you even now, Ma'am, from beyond the grave.
Queen: [sternly] Indeed, then you may think on this, also; that I am *not* amused.
Rose: [jubilantly] Yes!
[the Doctor sighs at having lost his bet with Rose]
Queen: Not *remotely* amused.
[the Doctor and Rose straighten their faces]
Queen: And henceforth... I banish you.
The: [confused] I'm sorry?
Queen: I have rewarded you, Sir Doctor, and now you are exiled from this empire, never to return.
[she steps towards Rose and the Doctor]
Queen: I don't know what you are, the two of you, or where you're from, but I know that you consort with stars and magic, and think it fun. But your world is steeped in terror and blasphemy and death, and I will not allow it. You will leave these shores and you will reflect, I hope, on how you came to stray so far from all that is good, and how much longer you may survive this terrible life.
[she briskly steps away from them]
Queen: Now, leave my world and never return!

Madame: It is customary, I think, to have an imaginary friend only during your childhood. You are to be congratulated on your persistence.

Rose: Alright, then. I'll go to the police. I'll tell everyone. You said, if I did that, I'd get people killed. So, your choice. Tell me, or I'll start talking.
The: Is that supposed to sound tough?
Rose: Sort of.
The: Doesn't work.

The: You know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek homeworld? The Oncoming Storm. You might have removed all your emotions, but I reckon right down deep in your DNA there's one little spark left. And that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me?

The: The moon is hatching!
Clara: Huh?
The: The moon is an egg!

The: And I've also introduced the word "dude" several centuries early.

[talking about Harold Saxon]
Captain: Former Minister of Defence, first came to prominence when he shot down the Racnoss on Christmas Eve. Nice work by the way.
The: Oh, thanks.

Tahira: Who are you? I've never seen you here before, Doctor.
The: Oh, my brief is quite wide-ranging.

John: I dream I'm this adventurer. This daredevil, a madman. The Doctor, I'm called. And last night, I dreamt that you were there. As my companion.

Woman in Door: Used to be a nice little family living at Number 29. They missed one mortgage payment, just one, they got booted out. For you lot!
Donna: Don't get all chippy with me, Vera Duckworth. Pop your clogs on and go feed whippets!

The: Am I thinking what I think I'm thinking?

Doctor: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I'm neither; but I'm still a doctor.
The: Yeah. Know the feeling.

Rose: What's it all for? I mean, shop window dummies?
[laughs]
Rose: What's that about? Is someone trying to take over Britain's shops?
The: [laughs] No.
Rose: [laughing] Well, yeah.
The: It's not a price war.
[laughs]
The: They wanna overthrow the human race and destroy it. Do you believe me?
Rose: No.
The: But you're still listening.

Strax: The heart is a relatively simple thing.
Vastra: I have not found it to be so.

Bob: Hello, Doctor? Angel Bob here, sir.
The: Ah, there you are, Angel Bob. How's life? Sorry, bad subject.

The: Now there's an interesting point. Is a slave a slave if he doesn't know he's enslaved?
The: Yes.
The: Aw. I was hoping for a philosophical debate, is that all I'm gonna get: "yes"?
The: Yes.
The: You're no fun.
The: Let me out of these manacles and I'll show you how much fun I am.
The: Ooh, he's tough, isn't he?

[repeated line]
Daleks: I am your soldier.

Mum: Everything's gone off. No WiFi. No phone signal. It's all down.
Teen: Not even Netflix.
Mum: Nothing.
Teen: What do we do?
Mum: I suppose - we'll have to have a conversation?
Teen: [in unison] What?

Missy: [Clara is inside a Dalek] Say "I love you." Those exact words. don't ask me why, just say it.
Clara: [Clara voice] I love you.
[Dalek voice]
Clara: Exterminate!
Missy: Say "You are different from me."
Clara: [Clara voice] You are different from me.
[Dalek voice]
Clara: Exterminate! Exterminate!

Joan: Where did you learn to draw?
John: Gallifrey.
Joan: Is that in Ireland?
John: Yes it must be.
Joan: You're not Irish?
John: Not at all, no. My father Sydney was a watchmaker from Nottingham, and my mother Verity was - well, she was a nurse, actually.
Joan: Oh, we make such good wives!

The: Dinosaurs, on a spaceship!

[the Doctor has jumped onto another vehicle]
Valerie: He's completely insane!
Thomas: That, and a bit magnificent.

The: [hears ticking noise and sees broken clock] Okay that's scary.
Young: You're scared of a broken clock?
The: Just a bit scared, yeah. Just a tiny bit. 'Cause you see, if this clock's broken, and it's the only one in the room, than what's that?

Donna: Couldn't she help?
Other: Trust me, I just four days with her on the ship, she's, uh...
Anita: Couldn't tell the difference between the escape pod and the bathroom. We had to go back for her... twice.

The: Come along, Ponds!

Rory: So how much trouble are we in?
The: How much trouble, Mr. Pond? Out of ten? Eleven.

Rose: [after checking the Doctor's heart-rate with a stethoscope] Both working...
Jackie: What d'you mean, both?
Rose: Well, he's got two hearts.
Jackie: Oh, don't be stupid.
Rose: He has!
Jackie: [pause] Anything else he's got two of?

Martha: What killed it?
The: Time. Just time. Everything's dying now. All the great civilisations have gone. This isn't just night, all the stars have burnt out and faded away, to nothing.
Captain: They must have an atmospheric shell. We should be frozen to death.
The: Well, Martha and I maybe. Not so sure about you, Jack.
Martha: But what about the people? Does no one survive?
The: I suppose... we have to hope. Life will find a way.

Dalek: Drop the device!
The: It's not a weapon. Scan it! It's not a weapon, and you don't have the power to waste!
Dalek: Scans indicate intruder unarmed.
Rory: [From the shadows] Do you think?
[Drops the torch, allowing fingers to hinge down, revealling a barrel which fires two shots]
Dalek: Vision impaired!

Reinette: You and I both know, don't we Rose? The Doctor is worth the monsters... One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.

The: [to Martha and Jack] Oh! I know what it's like. It's like when you fancy someone, and they don't even know you exist. That's what it's like.
[Martha looks crestfallen, and turns to Jack for support]
Captain: [to Martha] You too, huh?

Mrs: Hello, Doctor.
The: Hello.
Rory: Hi.
The: You're a doctor?
Rory: Yeah. And unlike you, I've actually passed some exams.

[the Master removes the navigational co-ordinates from the compter]
The: [sarcastically] Utopia.

Tallulah: And I'm not stupid. I know some guys are just pigs, but not my Laszlo.

Angie: When someone asks you if you want to be queen of the universe, you say "Yes".

Toby: There was some form of civilization... they buried something. And now it's reaching out, calling.
The: And you came.
Ida: How could we not?
The: So, when it comes right down to it, why did you come here? Why did you do that? Why? I'll tell you why: Because it was there! Brilliant! Excuse me, uh, Zack, wasn't it?
Zachary: That's me.
The: Just stand there, 'cause I'm gonna hug you... Is that all right?
Zachary: 'Spose so.
The: Here we go. Coming in.
[embraces Captain Crossflane]
The: Ah! Human beings! You are amazing! Ha! Thank you.
[releases the captain]
Zachary: Not at all.
The: But apart from that, you're completely mad. You should get back in that ship and fly for your lives.

Donna: Oy! And you be careful, all right?
The: Ahh, taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight? What could possibly go wrong?

Francine: Is that all?
Sinister: For now. Have you voted?
Francine: Of course. Just don't expect me to tell you who for.
Sinister: Thanks for all your doing, Mrs. Jones. Mister Saxon will be very grateful.

Zellin: I presume that's your doing, Doctor. Always interfering. I've watched you blunder into this.
The: "Blundering" top of my CV, alongside "Plays well with others" and "Excellent tap-dancer in a crisis".

Walter: We don't got any ill feeling towards the doc, we just thinking about our families. Hand him over and we all safe again.
The: You know I can't do that.
Walter: [pulling his coat aside to reveal his gun] Then we got us a problem.
The: Please don't do this.
Walter: Why? Reckon you're quicker than me?
The: Oh, most certainly not, but this? Lynch mobs? The town turning against itself? This is everything Isaac didn't want.
[Walter draws his gun and stares down the Doctor]
The: How old are you?
Walter: Nearly nineteen.
The: [slowly moves forward] That's eighteen, then. Too young to have fought in the war, so I'm guessing you've never shot anyone before, have you?
Walter: [cocks the gun] First time for everything.
The: But that's how all this started. Jex turned someone into a weapon. Now that same story's going to make you into a killer, too. Don't you see? Violence doesn't end violence, it extends it.
[Walter hesitates]
The: Now I don't think you want to do this. I don't think you want to become that man.
Walter: There's kids here.
The: I know... who I can save if you'll let me.
Walter: [nods toward the jailhouse] He really worth the risk?
The: Don't know. But you are.
[Walter pauses a few moments, then lowers his gun, and the mob quietly disperses]
The: [to himself] Frightened people. Give me a Dalek any day.

The: Are you coming?
Clara: Where?
The: To find the ghost.
Clara: Why would I want to do that?
The: Because you want to. Come on.
Clara: Well I dispute that assertion.

The: [after a witch stopped one of his hearts' beating] Only one heart working... how do you cope like this?

Emperor: I reached into the dirt and made new life. I am the God of all Daleks!
Daleks: Worship him! Worship him! Worship him!

The: Tell me your whole plan!
[Vampires close in, unspeaking]
The: Someday that will work.

The: What do you think, Clara? Is someone trying to give me a hint? What would you do?
[imagines "Same as you" written on a blackboard]
The: Yes. Yes, of course you would. Which, let's be honest, is what killed you.

The: Say Weeeeeee!
Amy: Ahhhhhh!

The: What's your name? Come on! Faith in the future! Introduce yourself. Tell me the name of the boy who isn't going to die today.
Boy: Davros. My name is Davros.
[the Doctor stops smiling]
Boy: Hello? Are you still there? Please, you've got to help me. You said I could survive, you said you'd help me! Help me!

The: Planet One, the oldest planet in the Universe, and there is a cliff of pure diamond, and, according to legend, on the cliff there's writing, letters 50 feet high, a message from the dawn of time, and no one knows what it says because no one's ever translated it. 'Til today.
Amy: What happens today?
The: Us. The TARDIS can translate anything. All we have to do is open the doors and read very first words of recorded history.
[They step out of the TARDIS. The Doctor's face transitions immediately from gleeful anticipation to flat disappointment]
Writing: HELLO SWEETIE
Writing: [followed by the Greek letters] Theta-Sigma Phi Gamma-Upsilon-Delta-Qorra
Amy: [laughs] "Vavoom."
[the corner of The Doctor's mouth turns up in a smirk]

Adam: If they're all human, what about the millions of planets, the millions of species? Where are they?
The: Good question. Actually, that is a good question.

Andro: Something wrong?
Fabian: It's the repair shop. What kind of idiot would try and steal a faulty TARDIS?

The: Nah, never. Well, maybe.

Strax: I suggest a full-frontal assault with automated laser monkeys, scalpel mines and acid.
The: Why?

Clara: Why would anybody hide a whole planet?
Missy: That would rather depend on the planet, dear.

The: I know you think I'm mad, but give me five minutes and you'll think I'm the sanest person alive. Okay, that was an overstatement.

Dalek: Daleks do not have managers.
Dan: Well, maybe that's part of your problem.

River: I'm so sorry. This is my husband, Ramone.
The: Another one? Are you going to kill him, too?
Ramone: We're not actually married.
River: Ah, we are, in fact. I wiped it from your memory.
Ramone: Why?
River: Well, you were being annoying.

The: [during the séance, the Gelth come through] Pity us. Pity the Gelth. There is so little time. Help us.
The: What do you want us to do?
The: The rift. Take the girl to the rift. Make the bridge.
The: What for?
The: We are so very few. The last of our kind. We face extinction.
The: Why? What happened?
The: Once we had a physical form like you. But then the War came.
Charles: War? What war?
The: The Time War. The whole universe convulsed. The Time War raged, invisible to smaller species but devastating to higher forms. Our bodies wasted away. We're trapped in this gaseous state.
The: So, that's why you need the corpses.
The: We want to stand tall, to feel the sunlight, to live again. We need a physical form and your dead are abandoned. They go to waste. Give them to us.
Rose: But we can't!
The: Why not?
Rose: It's... I mean, it's not...
The: Not decent? Not polite? It could save their lives.
The: Open the rift. Let the Gelth through. We're dying. Help us... Pity the Gelth!
[the Gelth vanish]

Oswin: [narrating] Check defenses. They came again last night. Still always at night. Maybe they're vampires.
[gasps]
Oswin: Oh! And it's my mum's birthday.
[talking into a recording device]
Oswin: Happy birthday,, Mum. I did make you a soufflé but it was too beautiful to live.

Donna: [on the Sontaran ship; talking softly] There's a door.
The: [talking just as soft] There should be a switch on the side.
Donna: Yeah, there is. But it's a Sontaran switch; you need three fingers.
The: You've got three fingers.
Donna: Oh, yeah.
[shapes her hand to form 3 fingers; places it in the switch; the door opens]
Donna: I'm through.
The: Oh,
[talking right into the mouth piece]
The: you're brilliant you are.
Donna: [sighs] Shut up.

Kate: Has it exploded?
Missy: More than that. Cybermen don't just blow themselves up for no good reason, dear. They're not human.

The: Oh hang on, if I didn't know better I'd say this was a robbery.
Ashildr: I am robbing these people. You are getting out of my way.
The: I just need one tiny little thing from out of this box.
Ashildr: This is my robbery!
The: Well can't we share it, isn't that what robbery is all about?

Donna: Never mind Planet Zog. A party in the 1920s! That's more like it!
The: Trouble is, we haven't been invited. Oh, I forgot!
[pulls out the psychic paper]
The: Yes we have!

Idris: It means the smell of dust after rain.
Rory: What does?
Idris: "Petrichor."
Rory: But I didn't ask.
Idris: Not yet, but you will.

The: Here come the drums!

The: If I can't have this world, Doctor, then neither can you! We shall stand upon this Earth, together, as it burns!

Clara: [Clara enters the TARDIS, for the first time] It's smaller on the outside.
The: Okay, that is a first.

Twelfth: Pity, no stars. I'd hoped there'd be stars.

Colonel: [wearing gas mask, holding assault rifle] latest firing stock; what do you think, Doctor?
The: [also wearing gas mask] Are you my mummy?

The: Hi! I don't suppose you've seen anything weird around here?

The: What's your plan, Zygella?
Bonnie: I don't have a plan.
The: Come on, you don't invade planets without having a plan, that's why they're called planets; to remind you to plan-it. He-hey, that's good! Puntastic! Doctor Puntastic.

Donna: You fought her off with a water pistol. I bloody love you!

Whisper: This man must fall, as all men must. The fate of all is always dust... The man who lies, will lie no more. When this man lies at Trenzalore... The girl who died, he tried to save. She'll die again inside his grave.

The: [In The TARDIS] What you are standing in is a technological marvel. It is science beyond magic. This is the gateway to everything that ever was, or ever can be.
Bill: Can I use the toilet?
The: Pardon?
Bill: I've had a fright. I need the toilet.
The: It's down there, first right, second left, past the macaroon dispenser.
Bill: Thanks.
Nardole: [Nardole is coming up the stairs as Bill heads down] Oh, human! Human alert. Do you want me to repel her?
The: She's just passing through. She wants to use the toilet.
Nardole: Oh. I'd er give it a minute, if I were you.

[extra scene]
Bill: So, you had to find a piano?
The: Yeah.
Bill: And get it down onto the ice.
The: Yes. Under the bridge, right there. Yeah.
Bill: Why?
The: Well, my wife wanted to sing with Stevie Wonder, and that seemed like a romantic spot. Oh!
[the Doctor spots something that catches his interest and walks off]
Bill: Wait, you're married?
The: I know. The good ones are always taken.
[the Doctor direct's Bill's attention to the sword swallower]

Female: Mels, did you understand the question? I'm asking you why the Titanic sank.
Young: Because the Doctor didn't save it. Except you don't know about the Doctor because you're stupid.

The: It's brilliant, I'm not sure if it's Marxism in action or a West End musical.

The: Everything go all right? Apart from being kidnapped?

Clara: I quite liked that hairband.

Captain: Saw your time-travel vehicle. Love the retro look, by the way. Nice panels.

The: Why haven't you abandoned the base?
Pritchard: That was my call. We've got about a trillion dollars worth of mining equipment here; we're not just going to abandon it.
[the Doctor just looks at him]
Pritchard: What? If it all goes pear-shaped it's not them that lose a bonus.
The: It's OK, I understand. You're an idiot.