50 Best Elizabeth Banks Quotes

Effie: Eyes bright, chins up, smiles on. I'm talking to you, Katniss.

Zack: [suggesting a porn title] Star Sex II: The Wrath of Cunt.
Miriam: We never made Star Sex I.
Zack: I guess we can skip Star Sex III: The Search for Cock, then.
[Zack has a new idea]
Zack: Cocunt!
Miriam: What's that?
Zack: It's like Cocoon. With a cunt!
[Miri looks at him and laughs uncomfortably]

Miriam: [Seeing that Zack shaved his beard] Your face! I don't think I've seen your face since senior year.
Zack: I think I made a mistake. I did it for you, you know, so you wouldn't get road rash during our scene... but I shoulda asked first. I look like a fuckin' Balooga Whale.

Zack: Hello, Miriam.
Miriam: Beat it, we're talking.
Zack: I just wanted to introduce you to Brandon.
Brandon: Salutations.
Zack: Bobby's boyfriend.
Miriam: Bobby who?
Bobby: Bobby me.
Zack: Brandon, uh, is the star as such adult fare as, what was that one called again?
Brandon: "You better shut your mouth or I'm gonna fuck it."
Zack: That's right. I'm surprised I forgot that.
Miriam: Are you fucking with me?
Zack: [amused] No, they're fucking with each other.

Lucy: [to Emmet] Come with me if you want to not die.

Beth: [Andy is following Cal's advice to only ask questions when talking to a woman] Can I help you?
Andy: I don't know. Can you?
Beth: Are you looking for something?
Andy: Is there something I should be looking for?
Beth: We have a lot of books, so maybe it depends on what you like.
Andy: What, um, what do you like?
Beth: We have a great section of do-it-yourself.
Andy: Do you like to do it yourself?
Beth: [giggles] Sometimes... if, um, the mood strikes!
Andy: How is the mood striking you now?
Beth: [they both laugh] What's your name?
Andy: What's your name?
Beth: I'm Beth.
Andy: Andy.
Beth: Andy... Don't tell on me, okay Andy?
Andy: I won't... unless you want to be told on, Beth.
[walks away]

Lara: [about her son] Do you think he'll ever kiss me again?

Benny: [suddenly appears] Hey, I'm Ben! But you can call me Benny! And I can build a spaceship. Watch this.
[starts building a spaceship]
Benny: Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship!
Lucy: No! You can't. The skies are surrounded.
Benny: That's okay, I didn't really wanna build a spaceship. Anyway, that's cool.
[kicks his half built spaceship and it falls apart]

Effie: You know everything old can be made new again... like democracy.

Peter: Mr. Jameson, please, isn't there any of these shots you can use? I really need the money.
J. Jonah Jameson: Awww. Miss Brant?
Miss: Yeah?
J. Jonah Jameson: Get me a violin.

Zack: This is just the beginning, guys. If Star Whores works and *it will*, we are set up for sequels galore. The Empire Strikes Ass.
Miriam: Return of the Brown Eye.
Deacon: The Phantom Man Ass.
Delaney: And Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter.
[awkward silence]
Zack: ...okay.
Delaney: Revenge of the Shit, you got it?
Miriam: No, yeah we got it.
Stacey: Ew.
Delaney: [under his breath] Fuck you, mothafuckas.

Katniss: I volunteer! I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!
Effie: [pause] Uh... I believe we have a volunteer.

[first lines]
Kyle: Are you okay?
Tori: Mm-hmm.
Kyle: Oh, I like this. Maybe this time we get lucky and make a baby?
Tori: Let's just have some fun.
Kyle: Oh, I like fun.
Tori: Just shut up and kiss me.

Effie: Everyone's either gonna wanna kiss you, kill you, or be you.

Zack: You don't wanna fuck a stranger in a porn movie for some strange reason. I guess we could fuck.
Miriam: Ew
Zack: Fuck you.
Miriam: No I mean you're an okay enough looking guy and everything.
Zack: Holy fuck thank you. You're an alright looking gal how does that feel?

Lara: You know, you never even asked me if I did it... if I murdered her.
John: Because I know you didn't.
Lara: Well, you'd be wrong.

Lucy: Today will not be known as Taco Tuesday. It will be known as freedom Friday, but still on a Tuesday!

Peter: You're trash, Brock.
Eddie: Excuse me?
Peter: [Peter drops evidence on Eddie's desk revealing that his picture had been modified] Your picture's a fake.
Eddie: Oh, Parker, you are such a boy scout. When are you going to give a guy a break?
Peter: [Peter grabs Eddie and pushes him into his framed fake picture; Bugle workers all look at them] You want forgiveness? Get religion.
Joseph: What's going on here?
Miss: Are you guys all right?
Eddie: Yeah. No, we - We're just horsing around.
[quietly to Peter]
Eddie: Look, I'm begging you. If you do this, I will lose everything. There's not a paper in town that will hire me.
Peter: You should've thought of that earlier.
Joseph: What are you doing, Peter?
Peter: [gives evidence to Robbie and walks away] Show this to your editor. Tell him to check his source next time.

Lara: Can you do me a favor?
John: I don't know, I'm kind of busy.
Lara: I need you to run for governor.
John: I can do that.
Lara: You can change this rule about no conjugal visits, 'cause I don't think I can last another 20 years.

Amy: [segment "Beezel"] Come out, come out, you little rat fucker.

Tori: Morning, baby.
[Brandon nods]
Tori: Um, listen there's something that we need to discuss with you and it's probably going to be hard to hear. Last night, your uncle Noah...
[hesitates]
Kyle: He died last night.
Brandon: [unmoved] Okay.
Tori: Brandon, do you understand? Your uncle Noah passed away. He's gone.
Brandon: I feel like you want to me to cry or something.
Tori: Do you want to cry?
Kyle: Brandon, we know you were at aunt Merilee's last night.
Tori: [tries to calm Kyle down] Honey, I'm your mom. I will always defend you. But, if you know something about what happened to Noah, you need to tell us.
[Kyle loses his patience with Brandon]
Brandon: [continues to eat cereal] I don't know what happened to him. But, I would never hurt uncle Noah. I love him!
Kyle: That is bullshit. He is fucking lying.
Tori: Kyle.
Kyle: Look, we know you were there. What else are you lying to us about?
Tori: Can you calm down?
Kyle: Were you in Caitlyn's bedroom?
Tori: He was camping with us.
Kyle: Where were you Wednesday night when Caitlyn's mom went missing?
Tori: This is not helping!
Kyle: HE'S LYING TO OUR FUCKING FACES!
Brandon: I'm gonna go upstairs.
Kyle: You're wh... You're... no you're not.
[grabs onto Brandon's arm]
Kyle: You're not going anywhere until we get all this on the table right now.
Tori: Kyle. I will handle this.
Kyle: No no no. Did you hurt Noah? What did you do to him?
[grabs onto Brandon]
Kyle: HE WAS MY FRIEND AND YOU JUST...
Brandon: [telepathically pushes Noah to a cupboard full of glass] LEAVE ME ALONE!

[Katniss suddenly stabs a knife into the table between Haymitch's thumb and forefinger]
Effie: [gasps] That is mahogany!

Lara: You took the wrong turn. John, the zoo's behind us. You took the wrong turn. Babe, what are you doing?
John: She'll call my parents.
Lara: What?
John: They'll look after him, and I'll figure out a way of getting him to us.
Lara: Are you out of your mind?
John: I tried! There's no more time. Any second now, there's gonna be a roadblock ahead of us. It might be there now. If we don't get out now, we don't get out. I'll find a way of getting him to us, all right? I'll find a way.

Lara: Why didn't you tell me?
John: You would've stopped me.
Lara: Uh!

Effie: We're a team, aren't we? And I'm so proud of my victors. So proud. You're so... Well, you both deserved so much better.
Katniss: Thank you, Effie.
Effie: I am truly sorry.

Kyle: Maybe there is something wrong with Brandon. He may look like us. But... He's not like us!
Tori: I will never turn against our son.
Kyle: He's not our son! He's some *THING* We found in the forest
Tori: [slapping him] How fucking dare you say that! How fucking dare you say it! How fucking dare you say such a thing!

Zack: Oh you'll be sorry when I'm giving you the best orgasms of your life.
Miriam: Yeah right. As if you even know what you're doing down there.
Zack: Where's the clitoris again? Is it in your ass?

Miriam: What happened to the water?
Zack: I guess they musta shut it off...
Miriam: Help me get this shit outta my hair! Just use the water outta the toilet!
Zack: There's poo in there...
Miriam: The back part of the toilet!

Miriam: Nobody wants to see us fuck, Zack!
Zack: EVERYBODY wants to see ANYBODY fuck. I hate Rosie O'Donell, but if somebody said "I got a tape of Rosie O'Donell getting fucked stupid" I'd be like "Why the fuck aren't we watching that right now?"

Vitruvius: We are entering your mind...
Emmet: What?
Vitruvius: To prove that you have the unlocked potential to be a Master Builder.
[Vitruvius and Wyldstyle make chanting noises around Emmet, followed by a big flash of light]
Emmet: [floating in space] Whoa, are we inside my brain right now? It's big. I must be smart.
Vitruvius: I'm not hearing a whole lot of activity in here.
Lucy: I don't think he's ever had an original thought... in his life.
Emmet: [chuckles] That's not true. For instance, one time I wanted a bunch of my friends over to watch TV, not unlike this TV that just showed up magically. And not everybody can fit on my one couch, and I thought to myself, well, what if there's such a thing as a bunkbed but as a couch? Introducing the double decker couch! So everyone could watch TV together and be buddies!
Lucy: That's literally the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Vitruvius: Please, Wyldstyle, let me handle this. That idea is just the worst.

Brandon: Who am I?
Tori: You're our son.
Brandon: What is this? Where did I come from?
Tori: Listen, baby, I... I know it's been difficult for you lately, that you feel different from other kids. You *are* different. After your dad and I got married, we prayed for a baby for so long, to God, to the universe, to anyone that would listen. One night, one perfect night, someone listened.

Effie: The library, all mahogany...

Miss: [beeps on speaker phone, shaking desk] Your blood pressure, Mr. Jameson. Your wife told me to tell you to watch the anger.
J. Jonah Jameson: YOU TELL MY WIFE...
[calms down]
J. Jonah Jameson: [speaks into phone] Thank you.
[turns to Hoffman]
J. Jonah Jameson: Continue.
Miss: [buzzes phone and shakes desk again] Time to take your pill.
Miss: [buzz] Not that one.
Miss: [buzz] Not that one.
J. Jonah Jameson: [points to jar of pills]
Miss: [nods and buzzes phone] Drink plenty of water.
J. Jonah Jameson: [sigh] Thank you.

Zack: I'm gonna fuck you with my pecker!
Miriam: Dude... that's really dirty.
Zack: That's too dirty?
Miriam: That offends me.
Zack: Penis?
Miriam: Fine.
Zack: I'm gonna fuck you with my penis!

Miss: [Walks in with Peter] Chief, I found Parker.
J. Jonah Jameson: 'Bout time, where were you? Crazy scientist blows himself up, and we don't have pictures!
Joseph: I heard Spider-Man was there.
J. Jonah Jameson: [annoyed] And where were you, photographing squirrels? You're fired!
Miss: [Peter turns to leave] Chief, the planetarium party.
J. Jonah Jameson: Oh right, you're unfired, get back here!

Miriam: [after hitting on Bobby and meeting his boyfriend] You're gay?
Bobby: Yeah.
Miriam: [to Brandon] And I'm on the internet wearing... a diaper?
Brandon: Who knew you'd come to Pittsburgh and meet a celebrity? Ha ha!
Miriam: [to Zack] I'm gonna binge-drink now until I pass out.
Zack: Okay. She'll be fine. So you guys suck each other's cocks, huh?
Brandon: Oh, like crazy.

Effie: [regarding Coin] You know what could use a revolution? That hair.

Erit: Don't apologize, it's genetics. Women are always competing with each other. That's why you're having problems with your boss.
Lara: Because she's a woman...
Erit: Exactly. Women should work under men, men under women. That's it.
John: What about men under men?
Erit: That's fine too, I mean they can deal with it.

Effie: [to Katniss] There's not much of a prep team here in 13. But we will make you the best-dressed rebel in history.

Haymitch: You know, I like you better without all the make-up.
Effie: Well, I like you better sober.

Brandon: Mom?
Tori: Brandon. Listen to me. I have never stopped loving you. I believe... I still believe you were a blessing that fell to this Earth. When we found you, you were so tiny and fragile. And all we could do was keep you safe. Whatever you've done, I know there is good inside you.
Brandon: I want to do good, Mom. I do.
Tori: And you will. You will always be my baby boy.

Miss: Your shots are so good.
Peter: I'd love to shoot you sometime.
Miss: Peter Parker... oh, Peter...
J. Jonah Jameson: Brant, that's not the position I hired you for!

Zack: How come you get to be all Buck Rogers, having sex in the 25th century with Twiki and Dr. Theopolis, and I'm stuck to a bottle of Jergen's in the batroom?
Miriam: Holy Bejeesus, tell me you don't use my Jergen's to whack it.
Zack: No, you know what I do? I light a bunch of candles, and I sprawl out on my sheets, and I listen to Sting. No, I'm a guy. You give me two Popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to fuck it, like a filthy MacGuyver!

John: [leaving dinner with his brother and sister-in-law] She's completely full of herself.
Lara: Don't try and agree with me now.
John: I don't even think she's a member of the dental profession.
Lara: Shut up.
John: She probably can't even spell "anesthesiologist". The woman's a complete fraud.
Lara: We went to her office party, you idiot.
John: Uh-huh. And I believe she hit on me that night, as well.
Lara: You are completely delusional. She didn't even hit on you in there. I just don't like her.
John: I understand your point of view. I really do. I agree with you. Somebody who looks like that should not be allowed anywhere near oral surgery.
Lara: You are an asshole.
John: I mean, you're sitting in the chair, you're trying to stay calm, and you got them things hanging in your face.

Becky: Hi, I'm Becky, cruise activities director.
Steve: I'm Steve. I have five friends on MySpace and I'm waiting on approval from a sixth.
Becky: You're cute.
Steve: Oh, in a harmless little brother kind of way, right?
Becky: [laughs] No. In an I've taken a lot of boys' virginity kind of way.

Zack: I don't mean to alarm you... but I think I just jerked off Lester a little bit.
Miriam: The Dutch Rudder?
Zack: Yeah! It's ingenious, really.
Miriam: If you ask me nicely, I will Dutch Rudder you for the rest of our lives.
Zack: Good. I'm getting tired of fuckin' a fleshlight.
Miriam: [laughing] You fucked it?
Zack: Yeah.
Miriam: What'd it feel like?
Zack: ...fucking a flashlight.

Miss: Boss, your wife's on the line, she said she lost her checkbook.
J. Jonah Jameson: Thanks for the good news!

Effie: Manners!

Effie: So Katniss, it's "13 is alive and well and so am I."
- Katniss?
- Katniss. [SIGHING]
- Never one to waste it in rehearsal, I know.

[after Batman flies in and saves them]
Batman: Relax, everybody, I'm here.
Emmet: Batman!
[to Lucy]
Batman: What's up, babe?
Lucy: Babe!
Emmet: What?
Lucy: Oh, sorry.
[to Batman]
Lucy: Batman, this is Emmet.
[to Emmet]
Lucy: Emmet, this is my boyfriend. Batman.
Batman: I'm Batman.
Emmet: That's your boyfriend?
[Batman swerves his aircraft to avoid getting hit by Bad Cop as he chases after them]
Emmet: Batman, huh? Where did you guys meet?
Lucy: It's actually a funny story. Right, Bat...?
[she turns to see Batman has disappeared]
Bad: There he is!
Batman: Police to meet you, Bad Cop.
[Bad Cop sees Batman has landed on his vehicle]
Bad: Batman! The pleasure is all mine!
[Bad Cop punches Batman, then they start fighting on top of Bad Cop's vehicle]
Batman: Guess what, you big dumb baby? Your car is a baby carriage.
[Batman transforms Bad Cop's vehicle into a baby carriage and it starts plummeting to the ground]