Top 30 Quotes From Hawaii Five-0
Jerry: [after getting shot] It hurts more than I thought it would.
Travis: This is crazy. I didn't do anything. You want to talk? Call my dad's lawyer. He can straight...
[Harry slaps him]
Steve: Kind of had that coming.
Travis: That, like, really hurt.
Harry: Good. Now that I have your attention, let's start with where Lady Sophie Mortimer is. Looks a little like the girl that you were playing tonsil tennis with. Yea high, blonde, very smart, English. Way out of your league.
Travis: I don't have any idea, dude.
Harry: Well, that's not the right answer, is it, matey? Which means I'm gonna have to break one of your arms now. But I'll be a gentleman about it and let you choose which one.
Steve: What are you talking about? You brought your own contract?
Kamekona: Yeah, but you don't have to read it all. Most of it's just boilerplate.
Danny: Is this a joke?
Steve: In exchange for capital investment, lender gets approval over name, menus, uniforms .
Danny: 40% of modified adjusted gross receipts, plus franchise and licensing rights in perpetuity and throughout the universe.
Steve: Licensing rights?
Steve: What do you need licensing rights for?
Nahele: Cookbooks. Sauces. Pasta.
Danny: There's not gonna be any cookbooks. No cookbooks.
Flippa: You don't know that. A successful restaurant will often have certain ancillary streams that generate more profit than the actual brick-and-mortar.
Steve: I'm so confused. I'm sorry. I thought you were coming in as a silent partner.
Kamekona: I am. But if this thing goes under, I don't want nobody to know I'm involved. But if it blows up, - I want to make sure I'm protected.
Danny: Okay Uh, I'm-I'm not signing that.
Steve: Me either.
Danny: And I haven't seen any financial statements. Have you seen any financial statements?
Greer: Everybody knows that Steve McGarrett only takes orders from the governor and God - and occassionally even they have trouble.
Lou: Afternoon, Mr. Kahele.
Gary: Can I help you?
Junior: Yeah, you can start by putting your hands behind your back.
Gary: What the hell is this about?
Lou: This is about your ordering the murder of 18 innocent people.
Gary: Says who?
Lou: Says the guy who pulled the trigger. You're coming with us. Shut your mouth.
Leroy: I was employed by the Hawaiian Syndicate in the '70s and '80s.
Steve: I'm sorry, did you just, uh... did you just tell me you were involved in organized crime?
Leroy: I painted houses. Not literally, of course.
Steve: I know what the term means. You were a hitman?
Leroy: That's right.
Steve: And yet somehow you're sitting in my office instead of a six-by-eight cell somewhere. How's that?
Leroy: I was very careful.
Leroy: It also helped that there were so many corrupt cops during the years that I was active. The guys that weren't, well, they were too scared to come after me. Except for one.
Steve: My father.
Leroy: Day I met him, I knew he was going to be trouble.
Lou: [to McGarrett during a high-speed chase] We have a wreck, my wife is gonna kick your ass.
Kamekona: Actually, I'm glad you two are here. I tweaked the plan a little. Nothing big, but you should have a look at it.
Steve: Tweak the plan a little? This is, this is major changes to the entire lighting concept.
Kamekona: Yeah, mood and ambience is the key. You eat with your eyes first.
Danny: This is actually not bad, I like it.
Steve: I like it, too, it's good.
Kamekona: That's because, unlike you two amateurs, I know what I'm doing.
[Steve gets on a boat to go to the Russian submarine]
Danny: Steve's. He wanted me to name the restaurant Steve's. I'll do it now in his memory.
Lou: That's what we love about you Danny, always thinking positive.
Lou: [learning Duke stole evidence from the lockup] Anybody reach out to Duke's family?
Junior: Well, Tani's doing that right now.
Danny: All right. That's good. Maybe they know something.
Lou: Yeah, well, let's hope so, 'cause this is nuts. Duke is as straight as they come. This is a guy that would rather read a mosquito its rights instead of swatting it. It just ain't him.
Junior: So why'd he do it?
Lou: Well, hell, June, I don't know. We just got to follow every option, no matter how crazy it sounds.
Tani: I always knew Duke meant a lot to you guys, but after what he did, for McGarrett to stick by him...
Lou: That's McGarrett. That's just who he is. He's a guy that'll never turn his back on family, no matter what.
Danny: I don't know why I gotta wear gloves. I can't hit him.
Steve: Well, you gotta make it look like you're trying.
Danny: This is the dumbest thing, the most embarassing, stupidest, dumbest thing you ever got me involved in ever in my life.
Steve: Excuse me. If it's any consolation, I'd rather it was me who was gonna take this beating, all right, but he chose you. I'm sorry.
Danny: I'm sorry, did you say "beating"? I'm not taking a beating.
Steve: Hey, hey, stop talking. You're embarassing me now.
Steve: All right, so where are we at? What's going on? You... have you searched the victim's room yet?
Jerry: I thought HPD already did that.
Steve: They did, but that doesn't mean there's nothing there. Jerry, a good cop stays awake at night thinking that they missed something. You know, they lose sleep over that kind of stuff. And sometimes they're right.
Steve: Noelani, I had no idea you were so, uh... you were such a big fan of dogs.
Dr. Noelani Cunha: What? Come on, me? Pfft. Huge fan. Like, massive. Big-time.
Dr. Noelani Cunha: Okay, fine. Look, there's this really cute guy that I see at the Blue Tree Cafe most days before work, and I always hear him talking to the barista about his rescue dogs and, well, I needed an in.
Steve: Okay, so Eddie was your wingman.
Dr. Noelani Cunha: It's pathetic, right?
Steve: No, it's not pathetic. I won't tell anyone. Come on. Did it work?
Dr. Noelani Cunha: Actually, we're having drinks in a couple hours.
Steve: Boom. So, no. It's not pathetic. It's awesome. I thought, uh, your generation only met people on those dating apps.
Dr. Noelani Cunha: I'm old school.
Tani: Why are pirates called pirates? Because they ARRR!
Lt. Catherine Rollins: [chasing a suspect] I really wish you wouldn't do that.
Lt. Catherine Rollins: He's got a bomb, Steve. If he dies, so do my chances of getting any intel on finding Asad.
Steve: Wait a minute. Did you just question my accuracy? 'Cause if you did, that hurts. I'm just saying.
Danny: Tommy Boyle. That's a wise guy from Boston, moved out here a couple years ago. He's a big-shot guy, right?
Steve: Danny, if it's the same Tommy Boyle, we got trouble.
Steve: Danny, you get the exact same HPD daily briefs each morning that I do, do you not?
Danny: I do, uh, but I also feed, uh, two children and take them to school. Plus, I don't like to read, so...
Steve: Tommy Boyle, he killed himself last night. The alert said he swallowed a bullet.
Danny: So you got a doctor and a patient, they both die the same night, and, uh, doctor's apprentice, she goes missing. This is not a coincidence.
Steve: When the M.E. was conducting the autopsy on Hideki's body, they found some foreign DNA. Now, there's no way to tell if it was the killer's, but they ran it anyway. There was nothing in the system that could outright I.D. this person, but it did turn up a familial match. To you.
Adam: What? How is that even possible?
Steve: You had 27 of 111 DNA markers in common, showing a close familial relation. We also know the sample came from a female, roughly 35 to 40 years old. Adam, you understand what this all means, right?
Adam: I have a half-sister.
Steve: And somehow, she's involved in everything that's been going on.
Jerry: Getting shot's not like it is in the movies.
Steve: How does he look, Doc?
Dr. Shaw: Well, I gotta say, the surgeon did an amazing job here.
Steve: Right on.
Dr. Shaw: You know, it helps that Eddie's a lucky boy. The bullet missed all of his major organs. And I'm-I'm amazed that he was able to stay away from the sutures without a cone.
Steve: Oh, no, he's been licking himself. Just not there.
Danny: We ran out of bullets and Steve did something with a rope.
Tani: [in a victim's house, finding a secret door] Uncle, you might want to come see this.
Lou: [wandering in] Oh, you're talking to me? I know you ain't just call me "uncle".
Tani: Locals use it as a sign of respect. How long have you lived on this island?
Lou: Long enough to know when somebody's using it to call you "old".
Tani: Well, you are old. But I was being respectful.
Lou: Youth is truly wasted on the young.
Junior: Hey, can you believe that watching a movie at home used to mean jumping in the car, driving to a video store and hoping that the movie you wanted to watch was available to rent?
Tani: Yeah, those poor souls.
Junior: Like, seriously, nowadays you can just, you know, fire up your phone and watch the "Fast and Furious" franchise from the comfort of your own toilet seat.
Tani: [sarcastic] Yeah, it's a great time to be alive. And thank you so much for that mental image.
Junior: Well, you know, I was hypothetically speaking. You know, uh, I obviously don't do that.
Lou: Well, the FBI's here. They've taken jurisdiction over the crime scene. They got a team in the house right now, scrubbing it.
Danny: Sounds like Lee and Nancy were a real-life Boris and Natasha.
Tani: I don't get the reference.
Lou: "Rocky and Bullwinkle".
Junior: Like, "Rocky", like Stallone "Rocky"?
Tani: [after Junior is maced trying to help an elderly woman] Just so you're aware, um, I will be telling everyone about this. I mean everyone, starting with McGarrett.
Junior: Well, I suppose there's no way I could buy your silence.
Tani: [scoffing] Are you kidding me? No. I'm sorry. The Golden Child gets owned by a grandma? That's... that is priceless.
Danny: Do you... do you want to discuss the, uh, pink donkey in the room?
Steve: There's a pink donkey in the room?
Danny: The pink elephant. You know what I mean?
Steve: What's that?
Danny: The elephant. Elephant.
Steve: What are you talking about?
Steve: What about her?
Danny: What about her? Well, uh, after everything she put Adam through, uh, you think it's just a coincidence that the same day she dies is the same day that Adam skips town? You don't find that to be a little cause-and-effect-ish?
Steve: Until I have some clear evidence in front of me that implicates Adam in any of this, there's nothing to discuss, Danny.
Danny: Oh. Well, what about when you do have some clear evidence? Then what?
Steve: Then I'm gonna have a very difficult decision to make.
Jessie: I don't understand.
Jessie: There was a trailer here.
Lou: [skeptical] Oh, here we go.
Jessie: Right there. That's where Hideki was holed up. Where he was killed.
Jessie: I'm a hundred percent positive there was a trailer there.
Steve: [spotting something] Hey, Lou? She's right. There was somethig here. Look at these tracks.
Lou: You're saying somebody stole our crime scene? That's a first.
Steve: Yeah. And if we want to get Adam out of custody... we gotta find it.
Tani: [breaking up a domestic dispute] So, spoke to her. Apparently, he comes home last night at 3:00 a.m.; no text, no phone call. She checks the GPS on his phone. Turns out he was at a fancy hotel. Insult to injury, it's her birthday today, so...
Junior: Well, there's nothing to charge them with, so I say we just let them sort it out.
Tani: Right, so we're just gonna brush over the fact that he's obviously cheating on her?
Junior: Well, that's speculative. And even if he was, it's not a crime.
Tani: That is so typical. Take his side. Well done, well done.
Junior: What? J-just because he was at a hotel late last night doesn't mean he was being unfaithful.
Tani: Oh, oh, please continue mansplaining that to me, 'cause here in reality, that makes no logical sense.
Kamekona: With your tutu's recipes, McGarrett's front-of-the-house charm and my brilliant business acumen, this could go. Just do everything I say, Kamekona's Italian Bistro is gonna be a hit.