The Best Ike Barinholtz Quotes

Big: [hears an explosion] What was that?
Staten: [abrupt] That's another one of us being blown the fuck up

Charles: So what? You have money now, and you're just gonna take Nikolaj back?
Gintars: No, no, I don't want to take boy from you. I just want to meet him one time. Look, I know it's lot to ask, but, please. Nikolaj is my sex result.
Charles: Oh, yeah? Well, I walk your sex result to school every morning.
Jake: No, don't use his words.
Charles: I help your sex result with his homework.
Jake: This is bad, even for you.

Martin: Don't forget.
- Set the cameras, and then grab them when you leave.

Pollard: That's magic right there. That's whatever you want. You want a million dollars? You want ten million? You wanna be taller or shorter? Make your dick bigger? You wanna go back in time, marry the girl who didn't blow you on prom night? That's how you do it, right there.
Daryl: Well, clearly, we had different prom nights.

Griggs: Stay back. If she moves, fire her up, all right?
[to Harley]
Griggs: You gonna come down from there or what?
[Harley laughs and swings slowly down to the floor]
Griggs: Oh yeah, look at you.
[Harley lands and goes to the front of her cell]
Griggs: You know the rules, hotness. You gotta keep off of these bars.
Harley: What, these bars?
Griggs: Yeah. Those bars.
[Harley licks the bar]
Griggs: Oh, my God. You are really in bad shape upstairs, lady!
Harley: Gonna come in here and tell me that? Or are you too scared? Come on, I'm bored. I'm bored. Play with me.
Griggs: You put five of my guards in the hospital, honey. No one's gonna play with you. You sleep on the ground.
Harley: I sleep where I want, when I want, with who I want.
Griggs: Oh man. I love you.
[on radio]
Griggs: Alpha One, hit her.

Griggs: Ames, if this man shoots me, I want you to kill him... and I want you to go clear my browser history.

Gintars: Jake, hey, I got it, man. Nice jeans, and the good thing is look both legs, same length.
Jake: Thank you very much. And I see it's 100% denim-ish. "Caution: Do not wear near women who are pregnant or breast-feeding".
Gintars: This is true. The nipple may fall off.

Staten: I have seven guns at home
Pop,8839: Why do you have seven?
Staten: Because it's my constitutional rights

Morgan: I was born in Rockwood hospital; they took me out Little Caesar style... through the guts.

Morgan: Oh my god. Dr. L spotted the coffee cake. Get out of the way. We are bowling pins in her bath.
Mindy: What? I don't want coffee cake. I'm still full from that chia seed I had last night.