Top 30 Quotes From John Ross Bowie

Barry: Cooper, maybe physics just isn't your thing. Have you ever considered a caweer in wetail? That way you could take things back for a wiving.
Barry: That's enough, Barry.
Sheldon: That's all right, Leonard. I can fight my own battles. Isn't that right, "Bawwy"?
Barry: Is that a wefewence to my speech impediment? That's pwetty hurtful. I... I can't contwol it.
Sheldon: You're right. That was uncalled for. I take it back.
Barry: Of course you do, because you're the Wetwactor!

Barry: You afwaid of heights, Cooper?
Sheldon: Hardly. A fear of heights is illogical. Fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.

Barry: Be honest, if the shoe were on the other foot, would you do the same for me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Not a chance. Sorry, but he said to be honest, and mother always said that honesty is the best policy.

Barry: Gentlemen, welcome to the fencing club. Before we start, I just want to warn you, fencing isn't a joke. I hope you're not here because you think it's going to be like Star Wars.
Leonard: That's not why we're here.
Raj: Yeah, I'm here because I think it's gonna be like Game of Thrones.
Howard: And maybe a little Princess Bride.
Raj: Ooh, ooh! I forgot about Princess Bride! That's my answer!

Sheldon: Kripke. Come in. I'm making tea. Would you like a cup?
Barry: Am I weawing a summer fwock? No, I don't want tea. Wet's get down to bwass tacks.
Sheldon: Fine. In the interest of preserving our friendship...
Barry: We're not fwiends.
Sheldon: Well, that's a little hard to hear, but all right. As you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise. With that in mind, I propose the following. I will take Rothman's office, and you will find a way to be okay with that.
Barry: How about I take Wothman's office and you go suck a wemon?

Sheldon: [in the rest room] President Seibert?
President: Can't this wait?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, we just need a word.
President: Now? You realize I'm your boss and I am holding my penis.
Barry: Sheldon, give the man some pwivacy. I'm sowwy, this guy's got no wespect for boundawies.

Penny: Hey, everybody. Sheldon is going to come back out, but I think he's a little embarrassed so let's all be extra nice, OK?
Barry: What are you wooking at me for? I'm a saint!
[to Beverly]
Barry: But a sinner in the sack.

Barry: Someone call animal contwol. There's a cougar on the woose.

Barry: How does it work?
Sheldon: Oh, it's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Barry: I'm sowwy, can you wepeat that?
Sheldon: Oh, of course. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Barry: Almost got it. One more time?
Sheldon: Sure! Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock...
Howard: Hey, Sheldon!
Sheldon: ...rock crushes...
Howard: Stop. He's screwing with you.
Sheldon: Is he? Well, then, seems we have reached an impasse. I see no other option than to challenge you to a duel. I'd smack you with a glove, but just last week, I packed away my winter things.

Barry: I have some bad news. You're working on a grant proposal for a new fusion weactor. I'm working on a gwant pwoposal for a new fusion weactor. The university is only awowed to submit one proposal.
Sheldon: So they asked you to pack up your things and ship out; that's hard cheese, Barry. You were one of the good ones.
Barry: No, they're making us work together.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous! I have one of the great minds or our generation. I work on a level so rarefied you couldn't even imagine it. I said stop looking at my cool train!

Sheldon: Well, this is very exciting, and I wanted you to be among the first to know...
Barry: [passing by] Hey, Cooper, I hear you're gonna be on the wadio with Ira Fwatow from Science Fwiday next week.
Sheldon: Thank you, Kripke, for depriving me of the opportunity to share my news with my friends.
Barry: My pweasure.
Sheldon: My thank-you was not sincere.
Barry: But my pweasure is. Let me ask you a question. At what point did National Public Wadio have to start scwaping the bottom of the barrel for its guests? Eeh-eeh. Don't answer. It's rhetorical.

Leonard: Barry, a team of Swedish scientists is going to do our experiment before we do. Can you lend us some liquid helium?
Barry: Sowwy, but there's a hewium shortage, and I need it for my quantum excitation expewiment.
Leonard: You don't need that much.
Barry: Twue, but if it's successful, I'm planning to have a party with bawwoons.

Barry: Children wuv me. Something about me just makes them waff and waff.

Barry: Whoa whoa whoa, you didn't tell me we were doing this just to stick it to Sheldon.
Leonard: Oh, well...
Barry: I'm messing with you. This sundae just got a cherry on top.

Howard: Did you screw us over?
Barry: Ooo, I can't tell you that. It's cwassified.

Rachel: This script is brilliant, but we're a glee club. We should perform.
Dennis: "Perform" the lines as I wrote them.
Randy: Wait a minute, Dennis. What'd you have in mind?

Sheldon: [at the urinals at work] Kripke.
Barry: Yes.
Sheldon: You're in my spot.

[last lines]
Barry: Yeah, yeah. Was she naked or was she wearing wangeway?
Sheldon: I didn't notice.
Barry: How could you not notice?
Sheldon: I was too busy squishing all the desirable parts of her body.
Barry: Ahh, you're killing me, Cooper!
Sheldon: Can we get back to work?
Barry: Sure, sure.
[pause]
Barry: You guys ever use any toys?
Sheldon: Toys? I live with a model rocket next to my bed.
Barry: A wocket? You're a fweak! I wuv it.

Leonard: There's not much you're both equally good at.
Raj: Is there anything you're both equally bad at?
Sheldon: Sports.

Sheldon: Please. All comments and questions should be flag-related.
Barry: All wight. Is my pole fwag-wewated?
Sheldon: I don't see why not.

[Kripke challenges the guys to a robot duel]
Leonard: Barry, we can't fight you tomorrow. Our engineer is incapacitated.
Barry: What's wwong with him?
Rajesh: He's depressed because he's pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls.
Barry: We're ALL pathetic and cweepy, and can't get girws. That's why we fight wobots. If you'we not thewe, you'ww be exposed to widicuwe.
Rajesh: I'm curious, what part of America is that accent from?

Kripke: I'm Barry Kwipke and I'm here because you told me there was gonna be a whaffle. When is the whaffle?
Sheldon: Patience, patience, Barry. The whaffle... the raffle is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly.

Barry: You all wight there, Cooper?
Sheldon: Not really. I feel somewhat like an inverse tangent function at the approach to the asymptote.
Barry: Are you saying you're stuck?
Sheldon: What part of 'inverse tangent function approaching an asymptote' did you not understand?

Barry: You got Siwi, huh? Voice wecognition on that thing is terrible. Wook.
[Talking into iPhone]
Barry: Siwi, can you wecommend a westauwant?
Siri: I'm sorry, Bawwy. I don't understand "wecommend a westauwant."
Barry: Wisten to me. Not "westauwant," *westauwant*.
Siri: I don't know what you mean by "not westauwant, westauwant."
Barry: See? Total cwap. You suck, Siwi.

Barry: Don't pway dumb with me. We both know what your probwem is
Sheldon: We do?
Barry: You have a girlfwiend.
Sheldon: So?
Barry: So my work would suffer too if I was getting waid all the time.

Barry: ...there actuawwy was some big stwing theowy news today out of the Hadwon Cowwider.
Sheldon: Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or supersymmetry?
Barry: No, but they did find evidence that you'll bewieve
[laughing]
Barry: anything.
Sheldon: Why would you do that? You're a string theorist as well.
Barry: Incowwect; I am a stwing pwagmatist. I say I'm going to pwove something that cannot be pwoved, I appwy for gwant money, and then I spend it on wiquor and bwoads.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Barry?
Barry: Yes?
Sheldon: When can I stab one of my friends?
Barry: In fencing, we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch.
Sheldon: Uh, yes, I'm aware. But if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into Human Resources.

Barry: Wemember when we were twying to figure out what that smell coming fwom Pwofessor Tupperman's office was?
Howard: Yeah.
Barry: Turns out it was Tupperman. Dead at his desk for two weeks.
Howard: Ugh.
Barry: In wieu of fwowers, the department chair is asking that everyone donate a bottle of Febweze.

[Sheldon's guests are singing karaoke. All have been drinking, and Stuart is still in towels from taking a shower]
Stuart,2365: [singing] I'm walking on sunshine... who-oo...
Levar: [arrives at party late, and enters] Hello, I...
Levar: [Sees strange guests and backs out of doorway] Oh, I don't think so...
Levar: [walking down stairs] I am so done with Twitter.

Barry: Hello, this is Sweden calling. Is this Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler?
Sheldon: Yes.
Amy: Yeah.
Barry: Congratulations. It is my pleasure to inform you that you've won the Nobel Prize. In being suckers!
Sheldon: [realizing who it is and hanging up] His Swedish accent was very convincing.