100 Best Larry Trainor Quotes

Laura: Have you recently been exposed to any abnormal atmosphere?
Larry: My entire life is an abnormal atmosphere. Do you mean the afterlife, the negative nebula? I went to Costco for the first time a few weeks ago, was that it?

Larry: You had to touch the weiner?

Larry: Okay, Larry, maybe stop talking to your magic zit thing.

Larry: First, I'm not in a time of need. I'm in a time of regret and self-loathing.

Larry: I will say this. The one upside to being a zombie was the only thing I worried about was finding brains. It was sort of, I don't know, peaceful. Anyone feel like that? Okay, just throwing it out there.

Larry: Maybe.
- We'll see, I guess.
- I'm willing to take that chance so you can have yours. Please.
- Let me do this for you.
- Now, go.
Cliff: Wait, what? No!

- You're here, Larry.
- You're here.
- It's so romantic in here, amongst the diapers and decongestant, isn't it?
- Let's go to the porch.
- And, if you don't mind, darling,
- I need a lift.
Larry: You got it.

- I'm getting magnet feet instead.
- Why?
- So I can walk up walls.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, my god, it's here.
- Oh, thank fuck.

- Hey, what was it like getting buried in a pyramid with your cat?
- Yeah, a sense of humor helps here. So you'll work on that.
- So what's your story?
- I flew airplanes.
[Mr. Morden] Flew airplanes?
- Please. Larry trainor was an American god.

- I see everyone
- I've ever loved... burning.
- Have you ever tried communicating this to the spirit?
- Perhaps you should give it a try.
- I just thought that you should have the chance to get to know your daughter.
[Clift] Bump! Come on!

Victor: How long have you been in our house?
Madame: Well, long enough to see Bandages over here play dress-up with your dead bodies.
Crazy: No!
Cliff: The fuck?
Larry: I was at a low point and wasn't making great decisions, okay?

- We fight.
- We could.
- But we'd be doomed.
- What are we now?
- I'm going to go with the chief.
- Agreed.

- Danny cakes.
- 178 Danny street. Springfield, Ohio.
- There's no Danny street in Springfield.
- According to this, there is.
- And someone there knows something about niles.
- Follow the cake, Vic.
- Always follow the cake.

- of dead creatures that might try to slip into Larry.
- Charles has a stockpile of weapons, costumes, generally upsetting shit.
Larry: Okay, what's that for?
- It's a baseball bat.
- 'Cause we're in the states.
- Mind your business.

Larry: I--I don't understand.
Crazy: I don't need you to understand. I need you to hold the rope.

Flex: [Flex is preparing to use his flexing powers to send the Doom Patrol into the White Space] Alright, everybody focus! I need you to focus on the White Space.
[Flex holds up an open comic book and flexes his muscles]
Cliff: Anybody? Anything?
Elasti: I... I feel... s-something.
Larry: Me too.
Crazy: Yeah...
Cliff: [Cliff is unable to feel because of his robot body] Is there something that I should be feeling right now?
Larry: It's like... oh? OH!
Elasti: Oh my...! Huh!
Cliff: [Cliff looks around and sees people in the street acting strangely] What the fuck is going on?
Elasti: We're all reaching... .!
Larry: Oh... oh!
Crazy: We're fucking cumming man!
[Everyone including the Doom Patrol but except for Flex and Cliff begin to simultaneously orgasm]
Crazy: Shit!
Larry: Oh oh!
Elasti: Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh!
Flex: [Flex realises what's happening] I think I flexed the wrong muscle.
Cliff: No shit dummy!
[Cliff realises that he is unable to orgasm because of his robot body and begins to fake an orgasm]
Cliff: Oh, err... oh oh, oh yeah!
Crazy: [Crazy Jane looks at Flex] I'm gonna fucking kill you! Oh fuck!
[Everyone except for Flex and Cliff simultaneously orgasm]
Flex: I am so, so, so, so sorry. I was shooting for the splenius capitis, and I accidentally flexed the splenius cervicus. You did the right thing...
Elasti: Just give us a moment!
Larry: Please.
Flex: Take as much time as you need... I... I'm stupid...

- Gary never cried so hard as he did over how much you hated that thing.
- You should have seen the look on his face...
- When he saw that you'd kept it anyway.
Larry: He nailed it.
- I was just too much of an asshole to see it then.

- It's an astral projection.
- I actually don't care.
Larry: Yep, yep.
Cliff: Okay.
- Time to taxidermy this Turkey.
- Which way's home?
- Yeah, I'm thinking you shouldn't have done that.
- Who broughtjudgy Harry Potter?

Larry: I'm a lost cause.
Rita: I thought I was too, once, but then I met you. Lost causes aren't lost if there's someone to fight for them.

- We need to find niles, and fast.
- Let's split up.
Cliff: We're gonna find niles and we're gonna kill that fucker dead.
- You hear me? Fucking fuck!
Larry: It's funny.
- I never had an imaginary friend.
Cliff: That is the saddest thing
- I have ever heard.

- Right now.
- Please. I can give you anything you want.
- I can give you the world!
Larry: All right.
- We're almost there.
- I got you.

- I do not deserve this shit.
- I do not deserve this shit!
- I do not deserve this shit!
Larry: Okay, you heard Vic's plan.
- You're gonna find us a way out of here.
- I know you are.
- Negative spirit, release!

- and eradication.
Cliff: How do you know all this?
Larry: Because I was one of their assets.
- For years...
- They studied me...
- Tortured me.

Larry: No, you can trust him. He's a good man. He's proven that to me.
Cliff: Are we talking about the same dude who dropped us into a fire pit and kidnapped Keeg? 'Cause that dude, still on my shitlist!

[Jane] Honk, honk.
- Is that my bus?
- What on earth are you doing?
[Jane] What are we doing?
- We're going into town.
- I'm in.

- Who has he taken?
- You know this nobody freak?
- Jane.
- You and I should talk.
- Arani, would you mind showing Larry around?
- I don't wanna put anybody out.
- No, no, no. Enjoy the tour, lt.
- Take pictures.

- Of course the street talks.
- Why wouldn't the street talk?
- Well, donkey dimension, decreator, group therapy. Just ride the wave, Vic.
- Hey.
Victor: We were hoping that you could tell us.
Larry: That's why we followed your cake.
- Can I ask you why your street is so empty?

Laura: When one expels a living 16 pound parasite from one's body, there is really only one reasonable response.
Larry: Give it a name?
Laura: Oh, Jesus Christ almighty. No, burn, burn it. Burn it!

Larry: Space isn't such a scary place. It's quiet, filled with possibility. And it's up to people like me to show our world just how beautiful it can be.

- It's grid.
Cliff: He put his computer-thingie in that computer-thingie?
- If grid is here, where the hell is my son?
Cliff: Uh, just wanna say snitches get stitches.
Larry: The ant farm.

- Okay, I've seen a lot of shit.
- But this?
- Y'all ain't right.
- I wish I could say you get used to it, but...
Larry: What is it?
- It's a crate, Larry.

Larry: My son killed himself because he was obsessed with his absentee father. And if that's not worth being tormented by, I don't know what is.

Larry: Ah! Oh, god.
- Why are you doing this to me?
- No. Oh, god!
- No. Please. God, no!
- I'm sorry! Please! God!
- Come in.

- and up a donkey's mustn't-touch-it.
- We are hanging on by a thread.
- If you can't help us,
- I'm afraid the chief will be lost forever.
- And so will we.
Larry: "White space"?
- I know what the white space is.
- And I know how to get there.

Larry: We're the ones who fuck everything up. Our kids just end up paying for it.

Victor: I don't know.
- Part of me wishes that we could just shrink ourselves magic school bus style, and get inside her head.
- What?
Larry: Oh, I'm just marveling at your embrace of the weird and utterly impossible.

Larry: The high-priority wing.
- This way.
Cliff: Wait.
- What about the rest?
- There could be hundreds of 'em.
- Weirdos like us.
- We can't just leave them.

Crazy: Hey! Hey! I know I'm new to the group, and I don't know how you handle things like this.
Larry: Well, typically, we just kind of wing it and everything works out.

Larry: All right, buddy.
- No pressure, but we're counting on you.
- Anything?
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit.
- Oh, god.

- Maybe you could teach me how to be more like you.
- Or maybe, maybe Mr. Nobody was onto something.
- Should I buy my cape before or after I kill my family and friends?
- If you want to bail, then bail.
- I'm done trying to stiffen your spine.
Larry: Good. 'Cause I'm done letting other people tell me who I am.

Larry: What're you talking about?
- You may have left the ant farm rather prematurely, trainor...
[Chuckles] But not in spirit.
- You'll pardon the pun.
- You see, we never stopped working on you.

Larry: I thought you might like some air.
Cliff: I can't feel the air.
Larry: Sucks to be you.

- You gotta sing, baby.
Larry: I don't sing.
Asa: Well, we have to keep this party popping, okay?
- Don't be scared.
- I'm not scared.
Asa: Then get up there.

- All right, where's the big Dipper?
- Right there.
Larry: Uh-huh.
- And what's in the handle of the big Dipper?
- The little Dipper.
- Nice.
- You'll make a great astronaut.

Larry: It's funny, I never had an imaginary friend.
Cliff: That is the saddest thing I have ever heard.

Larry: Rita?
- She's ready.
Cliff: What the fuck?
- What's going on now?
Larry: Uh, I think we're about to find out.

- exactly where it goes and why.
- But I liked it where it was.
- Hold on a minute.
- Just watch.
- Does it really matter, lar?
Larry: I don't know, sheryl.
- Do you want your husband's plane to break the earth's atmosphere, or break into a million pieces?

- Excuse me if it takes more than a moment to get back my sea legs.
- When we moved into this place, we made a promise to each other.
Larry: I know, but...
- No more hiding.
Larry: I know.
- I'm trying.
Rita: Hmm.

Cliff: Stop blaming your parents for your own fuck-ups.
Larry: Says the parent who fucked up.

- Playing my ego.
- I won't be played.
- Okay.
- Happy knitting.
- Larry.
- Don't.
- Larry.

- and cliff's busy, so...
- What?
- Oh, just...
- Put on your dumb bandages.
- We're going to Arkansas.
Larry: Arkansas?

- Help me out here.
- I'm inside a donkey or what?
- The question is, how do we get outside the donkey?
- Oh, my god.
- It's cloverton.

- She lived here for a while.
Larry: She did?
- It must have been hard for her with Gary's conspiracy theories.
- Actually, she was the one who got him into all that stuff.
- What? Sheryl?
- Wow. I had no idea.
- How could you? You weren't here.

Dorothy: Larry, why did you arrange our dead friends at the dining room table?
Larry: Because leaving them jammed in the shipping boxes was weird and morbid, and seriously, Dorothy.
Dorothy: And they don't look weird and morbid now?

- We'll need flowers here, here, and here.
- Some mood lighting.
- And then, we need to clear all this.
- I think we can handle that.
- Mmm.
Larry: Whoa!

- halt the apocalypse or anything.
- You believe a blue horse head.
- I do.
- I just don't understand anything anymore.
- We're in.
- Glad you could fit it in your schedule.

- Arani, I really think you need to have a talk with your students.
- Arani?
- He's run off again.
- Who? Niles?
- Look what you did!
- No, no, no.
- Look what you did!

[Screams] What are you doing?
- Keep your eyes on the road!
- The pedal on the right, there.
[Screams] I'm gonna kill myself!
[Cliff chuckles] Don't do it.
- Jane, please. Get back here.
- She's doing it! Oh, shit!

Larry: But there's something else you should see.
Cliff: Is it Dorothy playing dress-up with Rita's skin?

Madame: But when I think of him, I am filled with an overwhelming and immediate urge to punch him in the face.
Rita: That's him.
Cliff: Yup.
Crazy: Yup.
Larry: Sounds about right.

- Looks like the task at hand has changed. Come on.
- Such a shame to see all this food spoil.
Larry: Just...
- Be careful, please.

Larry: Oh, my god.
- Are these all his victims?
Larry: Which would have been us, too.

- I don't get it.
- We're free from one another.
- Why won't you leave me alone?
[Echoing] Leave me alone.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you!

- You a member of Gary's club?
- Pirate radio truthers, team tinfoil hat?
- No offense.
Larry: I... I don't know anything about that.

Rita: Quaint. Perfectly lovely.
[Clift] What do we do now?
- Just say "hello, street" like a pack of assholes?
- Oh! Someone's popular here.
Larry: Gang, meet Danny.
- Danny, this is Rita, Jane and cliff.
- Danny?
Larry: You two know each other?

- Any time now.
- Whenever you're ready.
- Oh, come on. Quit playing games.
- Release, or whatever.

Rita: We saved a town.
Larry: From us.

Larry: Paul! Oh, my god.
- What... what are you doing here?
- No! No, Paul. Paul, listen to me.

- Isaid, shut up.
- I was trying to protect you.
[Clift] By lying?
Larry: How did niles get involved with superheroes?
- Niles never said.
- You know he has his secrets.
- Niles and his secrets.
- Sounds like you and I know two different niles caulders.

Larry: Cliff, you have to go in there. You're the only one of us who can't orgasm.
Cliff: A I'm fucking high, B You just totally embarrassed me in front of the seX Men, C You want me to kill a fucking baby? Fuck no!

Rita: Sunlight is very important for one's mood, you know.
Larry: So is not being held captive by a shadowy government organization.

Larry: Oh, shit.
[Guard] Fire! Fire!
General: Yes.
[Man on phone] General, sir.
- The butts are loose.
General: I understand.
- God be with you.

- What have you done?
- Larry.
- What have you done?
[Larry gasps] Oh, my god. Paul.
- You're a curse on this family.
- Larry, we have to go.
Larry: Paul.
- I'm so sorry.
Dex: Dad.

Silas: Almost there.
- Maintenance required in sector a...
- Everybody good?
Larry: Define good.
- Maintenance required.
- Come this way.

Larry: You can put your faith in me, Rama.
Mr. 104: You have my faith, Larry Trainor.

Rita: Madame Rouge...
- We have to stop her in order to protect ourselves.
Larry: Wait, I thought she killed your lover boy, and you want revenge?
Rita: Evil is what we're going to do to her fishy little face when we find her ass!

- She's slick like that.
- She's good.
- You'll just... feel her.
- In theory.
Larry: In theory?
- Fuck it if we know, mate.
- Hope you weren't counting on us for this part.
- Right. So are we doing this or...

Larry: How does this crap keep happening to us?
Crazy: Because no one else gets sent on a mission by a time travelling bird lady to go hunt down some art freaks who pissed off a half-man/half-butt monster who may be trying to destroy the world.
Larry: Yeah, got it.

- Excuse me.
- Can I help... you?
- What's the single most remote place I can get to from the next bus?
[Clerk] Ismay, Montana.
- Great sky country.
- Great. I've been wanting to work on my tan.
- That was a joke meant to make you feel more comfortable with my appearance.

- I'm afraid I'm becoming a bit too comfortable with the monster in the mirror.
- Early signs of a lost cause.
Larry: I don't think that's true.
- And if it is, then...
- Let's be lost causes together.

Cliff: What's a street doing in the middle of nowhere?
Larry: I'm sure they have a logical explanation.
Rita: They?
Larry: Danny. Did I never mention a sentient, teleporting, gender-queer, street Vic and I hung out on when Jane lost her shit and tried to get married?

- And we need to do this. For Vic.
- This it?
Silas: Yeah, conveniently located.
- Ample parking.
- And only high-level bureau personnel know how to operate this thing.
[Jane] Larry?
Larry: All good.

- Don't apologize. Dance.
[Clift] This is really dumb, but we actually look pretty cool.
Larry: Is this what you were so scared of, de Mille?
- I've been to scarier dance parties at church lock-ins.
[Jane] God, that sounds scary as fuck.
- No, no.

- No.
- Now, then, Rita, that's not fair.
Larry: Oh, yeah, sure. Laugh it up.
- All right. Keep playing.
- And don't cheat.
- He's talking to you.
Larry: Uh-huh.

- he probably would have done it sooner.
- Oh, Christ, I'm sorry. That sounded...
- No. No, it's okay.
- No, no, it's...
- Yeah, it's a lot.
Larry: Your ride?
- Your grandson, actually.

- Captain trainor, are you and your partner ready to continue our mission?
- I know.
- I don't wanna think about it either.

- "Online pharmacy."
- "No prescription necessary"?
Larry: What the hell?
- I know who I am!
- "Laura de Mille is a disloyal and self-serving cancer...
- It is my strong recommendation that she be terminated immediately."

- after I'd given her the tools, you know, she'd just stand there every time, wanting me to help her.
- And I would get so pissed.
- "Just walk up the goddamn steps, okay?"
- So, walk up the goddamn steps.

Larry: My son is dead.
Cliff: Oh. Did Chief get him, too?

Larry: Are we maybe rushing into this?
Rita: Absolutely.

- Don't let Mr. Nobody get in your head, Vic.
- It's just a painting.
- Niles would know what to make of it.
- Yeah.
- He would.

- Look, I don't know what you want, but you're better off without me.
- Trust me on that.
Larry: Huh.
- That can't be good.

- I should have known they'd be one step ahead of me.
- I killed Dolores.
Larry: No, you didn't.
- The bureau of normalcy did.
- You need to remember that.
- And after we get the chief back, we'll make them answer for it.
- We'll make them answer for everything.
Cliff: Wait.
- We got something up here.

- Sounds like you've been in here a while.
Larry: I tried to keep track of the days at first, but it just made things worse.
- Well, I'm not planning on sticking around here long enough to find out.
- Here, have a look.
Larry: What the...

- teleporting, gender-queer street
- Vic and I hung out on while Jane lost her shit and tried to get married?
- Vic mentioned it.
- You really keep to yourself too much, man.
Larry: Well, that's Danny, and you're gonna love them.
Cliff: The fuck?

- Nice to meet you.
- Works for me.
- Oh, uh, this is Rita.
- My dear friend.
- Charmed.
- We're glad you're here.
Larry: So... where should we start?

Larry: Good job. Looks like I'm up.
- Just as soon as everyone's inside the giant cockroach.
- Rita!

- I can't.
Larry: Yes, you can.
- You can tell us anything.
Rita: It's all right, niles.
- If there is one thing we've all learned from this nightmare, it's that there's no need for secrets between us.
Cliff: It's okay.
- You can do this, chief.

- and the three new fans who stuck around after the donkey fart.
- You still think you control this story, don't you?
- Haven't seen any evidence to the contrary, old friend.
- To wit. You've slipped through my fingers for the last time.
- No!
- It's the chief!

[Kipling] Good question.
- This will tell us where.
- Fuck it all. My last piece.
- Chewing gum?
- "Knowing gum."
- It'll give me the answer.
- Where can we find the gates of nurnheim?