100 Best Larry Trainor Quotes
Laura: Have you recently been exposed to any abnormal atmosphere?
Larry: My entire life is an abnormal atmosphere. Do you mean the afterlife, the negative nebula? I went to Costco for the first time a few weeks ago, was that it?
- It's an astral projection.
- I actually don't care.
Larry: Yep, yep.
- Time to taxidermy this Turkey.
- Which way's home?
- Yeah, I'm thinking you shouldn't have done that.
- Who broughtjudgy Harry Potter?
Cliff: What the fuck?
Larry: For the first time, I agree with Cliff. What the fuck?
- A psychopath.
- They didn't.
- But then, the war broke out.
- And suddenly, my ideas didn't seem so funny anymore.
- Not in the brochure, but okay.
Rita: Sunlight is very important for one's mood, you know.
Larry: So is not being held captive by a shadowy government organization.
- She's slick like that.
- She's good.
- You'll just... feel her.
- In theory.
Larry: In theory?
- Fuck it if we know, mate.
- Hope you weren't counting on us for this part.
- Right. So are we doing this or...
- Rita, you're slipping.
- They're in here.
- They're all in here!
- Oh, god!
- Rita! Rita!
- Oh, no!
- We're going in!
- Look, I don't know what you want, but you're better off without me.
- Trust me on that.
- That can't be good.
Larry: Good job. Looks like I'm up.
- Just as soon as everyone's inside the giant cockroach.
- I want to go back to that dream.
- I'll never ask again.
- Maybe you're tired. I get it. Okay?
- But why'd you take me all the way there if you weren't going to let me play the whole thing out?
- I need to see him, pal. Please.
- Now, then, Rita, that's not fair.
Larry: Oh, yeah, sure. Laugh it up.
- All right. Keep playing.
- And don't cheat.
- He's talking to you.
Larry: My son is dead.
Cliff: Oh. Did Chief get him, too?
Larry: Oh, my god.
- Are these all his victims?
Larry: Which would have been us, too.
Larry: Well, I think it's great for you to perform in a play that debases you and everyone you know. Should be a terrific distraction.
- I see everyone
- I've ever loved... burning.
- Have you ever tried communicating this to the spirit?
- Perhaps you should give it a try.
- I just thought that you should have the chance to get to know your daughter.
[Clift] Bump! Come on!
Larry: I guess that's that.
- Next time you go to space, don't forget to wear a spacesuit, Larry.
- All right, where's the big Dipper?
- Right there.
- And what's in the handle of the big Dipper?
- The little Dipper.
- You'll make a great astronaut.
Maura: All right now, no need to get cheeky, Danny.
- We can tell them the whole story.
- Couple of years back,
- Darren Jones botched a search-and-destroy mission on Danny.
- Lost his partner in the process.
Larry: What happened to him?
- We fight.
- We could.
- But we'd be doomed.
- What are we now?
- I'm going to go with the chief.
- Nice to meet you.
- Works for me.
- Oh, uh, this is Rita.
- My dear friend.
- We're glad you're here.
Larry: So... where should we start?
Larry: But there's something else you should see.
Cliff: Is it Dorothy playing dress-up with Rita's skin?
Larry: I can't believe they sucked you into all this.
- I'm gonna get you we” again.
Laura: You freed them...
- The sisterhood of dada.
- Rita farr, world-renowned time traveler.
- Waiting for my destiny.
- From the military.
- Captain Larry trainor.
- I can't believe it.
- The bandages.
- Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood, and iwondered if he...
- Of course. Come in.
Rita: We saved a town.
Larry: From us.
- Hey, what was it like getting buried in a pyramid with your cat?
- Yeah, a sense of humor helps here. So you'll work on that.
- So what's your story?
- I flew airplanes.
[Mr. Morden] Flew airplanes?
- Please. Larry trainor was an American god.
- I'm getting magnet feet instead.
- So I can walk up walls.
- Oh, my god, it's here.
- Oh, thank fuck.
- of dead creatures that might try to slip into Larry.
- Charles has a stockpile of weapons, costumes, generally upsetting shit.
Larry: Okay, what's that for?
- It's a baseball bat.
- 'Cause we're in the states.
- Mind your business.
- Captain trainor, are you and your partner ready to continue our mission?
- I know.
- I don't wanna think about it either.
Flex: [Flex is preparing to use his flexing powers to send the Doom Patrol into the White Space] Alright, everybody focus! I need you to focus on the White Space.
[Flex holds up an open comic book and flexes his muscles]
Cliff: Anybody? Anything?
Elasti: I... I feel... s-something.
Larry: Me too.
Cliff: [Cliff is unable to feel because of his robot body] Is there something that I should be feeling right now?
Larry: It's like... oh? OH!
Elasti: Oh my...! Huh!
Cliff: [Cliff looks around and sees people in the street acting strangely] What the fuck is going on?
Elasti: We're all reaching... .!
Larry: Oh... oh!
Crazy: We're fucking cumming man!
[Everyone including the Doom Patrol but except for Flex and Cliff begin to simultaneously orgasm]
Larry: Oh oh!
Elasti: Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh!
Flex: [Flex realises what's happening] I think I flexed the wrong muscle.
Cliff: No shit dummy!
[Cliff realises that he is unable to orgasm because of his robot body and begins to fake an orgasm]
Cliff: Oh, err... oh oh, oh yeah!
Crazy: [Crazy Jane looks at Flex] I'm gonna fucking kill you! Oh fuck!
[Everyone except for Flex and Cliff simultaneously orgasm]
Flex: I am so, so, so, so sorry. I was shooting for the splenius capitis, and I accidentally flexed the splenius cervicus. You did the right thing...
Elasti: Just give us a moment!
Flex: Take as much time as you need... I... I'm stupid...
Larry: Oh, shit.
[Agent] Hands behind your heads!
- Get down on your knees!
- One sec. I got an idea.
[Sighs] Maybe this was a mistake.
- Now my family hates me.
- The bureau of normalcy is hunting me.
- I could neverjust walk in to a hospital.
- Right now.
- Please. I can give you anything you want.
- I can give you the world!
Larry: All right.
- We're almost there.
- I got you.
Larry: Cliff, you have to go in there. You're the only one of us who can't orgasm.
Cliff: A I'm fucking high, B You just totally embarrassed me in front of the seX Men, C You want me to kill a fucking baby? Fuck no!
- he probably would have done it sooner.
- Oh, Christ, I'm sorry. That sounded...
- No. No, it's okay.
- No, no, it's...
- Yeah, it's a lot.
Larry: Your ride?
- Your grandson, actually.
[In English] Wow, that's...
- Is this a hug moment?
- It feels like a hug moment.
- Bring it in, sister.
Larry: What the hell are you?
- If you turn out to be a rat...
[Sighs] Okay, Larry, maybe stop talking to your magic zit-thing.
- Glad all of you could make it.
- What the...
Larry: Okay, pal.
- If there was ever a time to fight, it's...
- Excuse me if it takes more than a moment to get back my sea legs.
- When we moved into this place, we made a promise to each other.
Larry: I know, but...
- No more hiding.
Larry: I know.
- I'm trying.
- and the three new fans who stuck around after the donkey fart.
- You still think you control this story, don't you?
- Haven't seen any evidence to the contrary, old friend.
- To wit. You've slipped through my fingers for the last time.
- It's the chief!
Larry: How does this crap keep happening to us?
Crazy: Because no one else gets sent on a mission by a time travelling bird lady to go hunt down some art freaks who pissed off a half-man/half-butt monster who may be trying to destroy the world.
Larry: Yeah, got it.
- We'll see, I guess.
- I'm willing to take that chance so you can have yours. Please.
- Let me do this for you.
- Now, go.
Cliff: Wait, what? No!
- I needed some answers after Gary's funeral, so I did some digging, all the way to the department of defense.
- I'm sending you back where you belong.
Larry: I'm not going anywhere.
- Negative spirit, release.
- What the hell is that?
- Dad, what's going on?
- Toby, get in the house.
Rita: Quaint. Perfectly lovely.
[Clift] What do we do now?
- Just say "hello, street" like a pack of assholes?
- Oh! Someone's popular here.
Larry: Gang, meet Danny.
- Danny, this is Rita, Jane and cliff.
Larry: You two know each other?
Silas: Almost there.
- Maintenance required in sector a...
- Everybody good?
Larry: Define good.
- Maintenance required.
- Come this way.
Cliff: What's a street doing in the middle of nowhere?
Larry: I'm sure they have a logical explanation.
Larry: Danny. Did I never mention a sentient, teleporting, gender-queer, street Vic and I hung out on when Jane lost her shit and tried to get married?
Larry: It's funny, I never had an imaginary friend.
Cliff: That is the saddest thing I have ever heard.
Larry: The high-priority wing.
- This way.
- What about the rest?
- There could be hundreds of 'em.
- Weirdos like us.
- We can't just leave them.
Larry: I--I don't understand.
Crazy: I don't need you to understand. I need you to hold the rope.
- Help me out here.
- I'm inside a donkey or what?
- The question is, how do we get outside the donkey?
- Oh, my god.
- It's cloverton.
Larry: All right, buddy.
- No pressure, but we're counting on you.
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit.
- Oh, god.
- Of course the street talks.
- Why wouldn't the street talk?
- Well, donkey dimension, decreator, group therapy. Just ride the wave, Vic.
Victor: We were hoping that you could tell us.
Larry: That's why we followed your cake.
- Can I ask you why your street is so empty?
Larry: Oh, shit.
[Guard] Fire! Fire!
[Man on phone] General, sir.
- The butts are loose.
General: I understand.
- God be with you.
- Gary never cried so hard as he did over how much you hated that thing.
- You should have seen the look on his face...
- When he saw that you'd kept it anyway.
Larry: He nailed it.
- I was just too much of an asshole to see it then.
Larry: Where is he?
- What the hell? Over here.
- What the fuck! You're a toy?
- We gotta get you out of here.
- Wait. Wait.
- Give him this.
- He doesn't even know you're here.
- Just do it.
Cliff: Stop blaming your parents for your own fuck-ups.
Larry: Says the parent who fucked up.
Larry: I'm dying, Rita.
Larry: What're you talking about?
- You may have left the ant farm rather prematurely, trainor...
[Chuckles] But not in spirit.
- You'll pardon the pun.
- You see, we never stopped working on you.
- after I'd given her the tools, you know, she'd just stand there every time, wanting me to help her.
- And I would get so pissed.
- "Just walk up the goddamn steps, okay?"
- So, walk up the goddamn steps.
Larry: You can put your faith in me, Rama.
Mr. 104: You have my faith, Larry Trainor.
Larry: I thought you might like some air.
Cliff: I can't feel the air.
Larry: Sucks to be you.
Larry: My son killed himself because he was obsessed with his absentee father. And if that's not worth being tormented by, I don't know what is.
Rita: Madame Rouge...
- We have to stop her in order to protect ourselves.
Larry: Wait, I thought she killed your lover boy, and you want revenge?
Rita: Evil is what we're going to do to her fishy little face when we find her ass!
- She's ready.
Cliff: What the fuck?
- What's going on now?
Larry: Uh, I think we're about to find out.
- and up a donkey's mustn't-touch-it.
- We are hanging on by a thread.
- If you can't help us,
- I'm afraid the chief will be lost forever.
- And so will we.
Larry: "White space"?
- I know what the white space is.
- And I know how to get there.
- Don't let Mr. Nobody get in your head, Vic.
- It's just a painting.
- Niles would know what to make of it.
- He would.
- It's grid.
Cliff: He put his computer-thingie in that computer-thingie?
- If grid is here, where the hell is my son?
Cliff: Uh, just wanna say snitches get stitches.
Larry: The ant farm.
Larry: I will say this. The one upside to being a zombie was the only thing I worried about was finding brains. It was sort of, I don't know, peaceful. Anyone feel like that? Okay, just throwing it out there.
- Looks like the task at hand has changed. Come on.
- Such a shame to see all this food spoil.
- Be careful, please.
- and eradication.
Cliff: How do you know all this?
Larry: Because I was one of their assets.
- For years...
- They studied me...
- Tortured me.
Dorothy: Larry, why did you arrange our dead friends at the dining room table?
Larry: Because leaving them jammed in the shipping boxes was weird and morbid, and seriously, Dorothy.
Dorothy: And they don't look weird and morbid now?
- Maybe you could teach me how to be more like you.
- Or maybe, maybe Mr. Nobody was onto something.
- Should I buy my cape before or after I kill my family and friends?
- If you want to bail, then bail.
- I'm done trying to stiffen your spine.
Larry: Good. 'Cause I'm done letting other people tell me who I am.
- What's wrong?
- Fucking monster.
- Miranda was terrified.
Larry: What are you talking about?
- Do you need any help?
- I got it.
- Maybe it's time we see what better looks like.
Larry: Does it matter to any of you that the chief thinks we're not ready?
[Agent] Captain trainor!
Larry: What's going on?
- I'm sending you back where you belong.
- Baby doll?
- Your dad is a bad man.
- Baby doll, let me out.
Dorothy: Stop, stop, stop!
- Danny cakes.
- 178 Danny street. Springfield, Ohio.
- There's no Danny street in Springfield.
- According to this, there is.
- And someone there knows something about niles.
- Follow the cake, Vic.
- Always follow the cake.
- Isaid, shut up.
- I was trying to protect you.
[Clift] By lying?
Larry: How did niles get involved with superheroes?
- Niles never said.
- You know he has his secrets.
- Niles and his secrets.
- Sounds like you and I know two different niles caulders.
Larry: We're the ones who fuck everything up. Our kids just end up paying for it.
Larry: Paul! Oh, my god.
- What... what are you doing here?
- No! No, Paul. Paul, listen to me.
Cliff: You might wanna brace yourself.
- We kind of trashed the place.
- We fought a whole cult in there.
- And each other.
Cliff: I had a rat in me.
- It's a story for another time.
Larry: Quite the wild ride, chief, finding you.
- I think you all found much more than me.
- exactly where it goes and why.
- But I liked it where it was.
- Hold on a minute.
- Just watch.
- Does it really matter, lar?
Larry: I don't know, sheryl.
- Do you want your husband's plane to break the earth's atmosphere, or break into a million pieces?
- I'm afraid I'm becoming a bit too comfortable with the monster in the mirror.
- Early signs of a lost cause.
Larry: I don't think that's true.
- And if it is, then...
- Let's be lost causes together.
[Kipling] Good question.
- This will tell us where.
- Fuck it all. My last piece.
- Chewing gum?
- "Knowing gum."
- It'll give me the answer.
- Where can we find the gates of nurnheim?
- Playing my ego.
- I won't be played.
- Happy knitting.
Larry: It's okay.
- We're okay.
- Arani, I really think you need to have a talk with your students.
- He's run off again.
- Who? Niles?
- Look what you did!
- No, no, no.
- Look what you did!
- You're here, Larry.
- You're here.
- It's so romantic in here, amongst the diapers and decongestant, isn't it?
- Let's go to the porch.
- And, if you don't mind, darling,
- I need a lift.
Larry: You got it.
- teleporting, gender-queer street
- Vic and I hung out on while Jane lost her shit and tried to get married?
- Vic mentioned it.
- You really keep to yourself too much, man.
Larry: Well, that's Danny, and you're gonna love them.
Cliff: The fuck?
Larry: Ah! Oh, god.
- Why are you doing this to me?
- No. Oh, god!
- No. Please. God, no!
- I'm sorry! Please! God!
- Come in.
[Screams] What are you doing?
- Keep your eyes on the road!
- The pedal on the right, there.
[Screams] I'm gonna kill myself!
[Cliff chuckles] Don't do it.
- Jane, please. Get back here.
- She's doing it! Oh, shit!
- She lived here for a while.
Larry: She did?
- It must have been hard for her with Gary's conspiracy theories.
- Actually, she was the one who got him into all that stuff.
- What? Sheryl?
- Wow. I had no idea.
- How could you? You weren't here.
Victor: I don't know.
- Part of me wishes that we could just shrink ourselves, magic school bus style, and get inside her head.
Larry: I'm just marveling at your embrace of the weird and utterly impossible.
- Who has he taken?
- You know this nobody freak?
- You and I should talk.
- Arani, would you mind showing Larry around?
- I don't wanna put anybody out.
- No, no, no. Enjoy the tour, lt.
- Take pictures.
- I do not deserve this shit.
- I do not deserve this shit!
- I do not deserve this shit!
Larry: Okay, you heard Vic's plan.
- You're gonna find us a way out of here.
- I know you are.
- Negative spirit, release!
- I don't get it.
- We're free from one another.
- Why won't you leave me alone?
[Echoing] Leave me alone.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you!
- Don't apologize. Dance.
[Clift] This is really dumb, but we actually look pretty cool.
Larry: Is this what you were so scared of, de Mille?
- I've been to scarier dance parties at church lock-ins.
[Jane] God, that sounds scary as fuck.
- No, no.
Larry: I'm not sure if I was ready to be a father again. But, when you're raising a space parasite, are you ever really ready?
- And I moved on.
- You should too.
Larry: You know, when I told you
- I loved you, at the motel,
- I meant it.
- I wanted you to know that.
- In case I don't get another chance to tell you.