Top 100 Quotes From Marc Blucas

Riley: Back to what I was saying before we were rudely attacked by nothing.

Colonel: You're a dead man, Finn.
Riley: No, sir. I'm an anarchist.
[punches him]

[Buffy breaks the door to get into the Magic Shop]
Riley: You shouldn't have done that to the door.
Buffy: I do *not* have time to play by the rules tonight.
Riley: I have a master key. It opens every shop on Main Street.
Buffy: Oh... Well, next time. Absolutely.

[in Willows dream]
Rupert: All right everyone! Pay attention! In just a few moments, that curtain is gonna open on our very first production. Now everyone that Willow's ever met is out in that audience, including all of us. That means we have to be perfect. Stay in character, remember your lines and energy, energy, energy especially in the musical numbers!
[Willow sees a shadowy figure moving in the background]
Willow: Did anyone see that?
Rupert: Acting is not about behaving, it's about hiding. The audience wants to find you, strip you naked and eat you alive, so hide.
[Harmony bites at his neck]
Rupert: Stop that. Now, costumes, sets, um, the things that you, uh, you know, uh, you, um, you hold them, you touch them, uh, use them, um...
Harmony: Props?
Rupert: No.
Riley: Props?
Rupert: Yes! It's all about subterfuge.
[Harmony continues attempting to bite him]
Rupert: That's very annoying. Now, go on out there, lie like dogs, and have a wonderful time. Now, if we can stay in focus, keep our heads, and if Willow can stop stepping on everyone's cues, I know this will be the best production of "Death of a Salesman" we've ever done.
[Harmony continues attempting to bite him]
Rupert: Stop it. Good luck everyone! Break a leg!

Riley: What can you tell me about Dracula?
Spike: Dracula? Poncy bugger owes me £11, for one thing.

Riley: I never know how you're gonna react to something... That's why I like you so much. You're a mystery... Probably every beautiful girl in the world has some jerk tellin' her she's a mystery, but... I swear... you really are... There's a lot about you that needs puzzling out.
[Buffy just stares at him]
Riley: I lose you somewhere?
Buffy: Right around... "beautiful."

Spike: Ah, come on. You're not the long-haul guy and you know it.
Riley: Shut up.
Spike: You know it, or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trulls... The girl needs some monster in her man... and that's not in your nature... No matter how low you try to go.

- Ow! Ow!
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Guys.
- What you got?
Riley: That's him.
- Let's go.

Riley: Did anyone else feel way too tall? I felt *way* too tall.
Xander: I liked his clothes. He had really cool clothes.
Willow: I still don't understand how he got the house and everything.
Anya: And who really did star in The Matrix?
Riley: Wait! That wasn't real either?

[Riley's throwing Spike out after catching him smelling Buffy's sweater]
Spike: Look, I know for a bleedin' fact the Slayer wouldn't mind me bein' here.
Riley: Right. What's a little sweater-sniffing between sworn enemies?

Jeremy: An ex-wife that I can't remember.
Richard: Hey, some men would consider you lucky.

[Riley is about to touch the meteorite]
Anya: Is it hot? 'Cause, uh, if there's radiation you could, like, go all sterile.
[Riley recoils and Xander scampers away to be behind Anya]
Riley: No, it's not hot. It's warm. And broken... And sort of...
Rupert: Hollow.
Riley: Yeah.
Anya: So, uh, we're all thinking the same thing, right?
Xander: Festive piñata? Delicious candy?
Willow: Something evil crashed to earth in this and then broke out and slithered away to do badness.
Rupert: In all fairness, I don't think we know about the slithered part.
Anya: Oh no. I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.

Riley: All my life, that's what I've been groomed to do. They say jump, I ask how high, I get the job done... Just don't know if it's the right job anymore.
Buffy: I know how you feel... Giles used to be part of this Council. And for years, *all* they ever did was give me orders.
Riley: Ever obey them?
Buffy: Sure... The ones I was going to do, anyway.

[last lines]
Buffy: Uh, last night... at the party, you wanted to tell me something?
Riley: Oh, yeah. Very important stuff... I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved... Did Willow tell you I like cheese?
Buffy: You're a little peculiar.
Riley: [smiles] I can live with that.

[last lines]
Buffy: I'm glad we talked this all out.
Riley: We haven't talked at all.
Buffy: Oh... Well, whatever we're doing, we're doing it great.
[they start kissing again]
Buffy: Mmm, Jonathan.

[in Buffy's dream]
PA: The demons have escaped. Please run for your lives.
Riley: This could be trouble. We'd better make a fort.
Adam: I'll get some pillows.

Willow: Game over?
Riley: Uh, Buffy slayed the football.
[Holds up deflated ball]

Riley: No, that's okay. I-I shouldn't take this personally. I mean, what with Angel. I mean, it's understandable that there would be transference. I mean, they're both broody immortals.

[checking the person on the ground]
Riley: No pulse.
Anya: [to Giles] Yup. The space lamb got him.

Riley: I've lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now. Know what I've never noticed before?
Rupert: Uh, a castle?
Riley: A big, honkin' castle.

Spike: Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
Riley: Because you are.
Spike: Well... yeah. But that's not your problem. Even if I wasn't in the picture, you're never gonna be able to hold onto her.

- GILES: Previously on
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer...
Riley: Buffy's like nobody else in the world, but she doesn't love me.
- Buffy, I love you.
- Oh, god, no.
- Your mother has a brain tumor.
- Oh.

June: [whispering to Rodney] He's the guy!
Rodney: [addressing Milner] I'm sorry. Who are you again?
June: [whispering to Rodney louder] He's the guy!
Roy: I'm the guy.
Rodney: You're the guy?
Roy: I'm the guy!

Sandy: We could go somewhere else. Someplace more... private.
Riley: Oh, ho,ho, Sandy, Sandy. It's no good. My heart belongs to another... Besides, I don't go out with vampires... They're never interested in my intellect.

Professor: You know the rules. You know I hate exceptions, and yet somehow you feel your exception is exceptional.
Willow: Oh, but...
Professor: It is. To you. But since I'm neither a freshman nor a narcissist, I have to consider the whole class. If your friend can't respect my schedule, I think it's best he not come back.
[Willow, looking hurt and miserable, walks off]
Buffy: [walks up to Walsh] You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
Professor: It's not my job to coddle my students.
Buffy: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job.
[walks away]
Professor: I like her.
Riley: Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?

- Hey, you okay?
Willow: Buffy, he's gone.
- I'm fine.
- Easy. Easy.
Riley: He disappeared.
- That had to hurt.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Take it slowly.

[last lines]
Adam: I've been waiting for you.
Riley: And now I'm here.

Buffy: Well I'm sure my incredible patheticness softened the blow for you.
Riley: I don't know what you're talking about.
Buffy: Riley, please don't patronize...
Riley: Hey! You want me to say that I *liked* seeing you in bed with that idiot? Or that blinding orange is your very best color? Or that that... burger smell is appealing?
Buffy: You smelled the smell?
Riley: Buffy, none of that means anything. It doesn't touch you. You are still the first woman I ever loved... and the strongest woman I have ever known. Now I'm not advertising this to the missus... but you're still quite the hottie.
Buffy: You know, it goes away after many bathings.
Riley: [chuckles] This isn't about who's on top. I know how lucky I am right now. I love my work, and I love my wife.
Buffy: I know... And I kinda love her too.
Riley: And so you're not in the greatest place right now... And maybe I made it worse.
Buffy: No.
Riley: The wheel never stops turning, Buffy. You're up. You're down... It doesn't change what you are, and you are a hell of a woman.

Riley: Hey, about before...
Graham: We're good. Apologise later, if you're not dead.

Riley: I squared away the rest of your stuff. Wouldn't even know you ever left.
Buffy: Oh, you're a god. You're like the god of boyfriends.
Riley: Nah, I just like it when you owe me favors.
Buffy: Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.

Xander: What's with the hand move? You see that? Does that, like, mean something?
Willow: It's code. I-I think it breaks down to "Choo-choo".
Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Willow: [whispers] Ask.
Xander: [yells] Hey, Riley! What's the, uh-
[makes hand gesture]
Xander: all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're comin' will have a sporting chance.
Xander: See? Now he's all mad and sarcastic.
Willow: It's because you were doing all the yelling, Mr. Stealthy Pants.

[first lines]
[It's a dark evening. Lamps dimly illuminate the graveyard as Buffy crouches, alert, surveying from atop a crypt. Sensing something, she stands, then leaps down from the crypt and runs, stopping over a fresh grave. Looking down, a pair of arms suddenly jut up from the grave. Not waiting, she stabs her stake through the earth, killing the vampire before it can finish rising from the ground. Nearby, another vampire rapidly escapes his grave. Buffy rushes over and commences battle, ducking its first swing and landing several blows with her fists and feet. Another kick sends the vampire reeling twenty yards away. It stands, but is grabbed and tossed aside by...]
Buffy: Riley?
Riley: Buffy! What are you doin' here?
Buffy: [implying obviousness] My job.
Riley: Well, I just thought you were in the North sector.
Buffy: Watch out!
[the vampire lunges back at Riley. Riley ducks the blow, kicks the back of its knee, blocks its arm and twists it behind its back. He then hurls it surprisingly high at a nearby crypt, taking its top stonework in the gut before falling to the ground]
Buffy: Nevermind.
[still stunned, Riley punches it once more in the face before staking it in the heart. Another vamp rises. Buffy starts to leap into action when Spike suddenly tackles it]
Buffy: Why do I even bother to show up?
[Spike blocks several blows with martial-arts moves]
Buffy: Spike, what are you doing here?
Spike: Same reason as you and your Cub Scout here, I wager.
[Spike lands four more blows on the latest vamp]
Spike: Wanted a spot of violence before bedtime.
[Spike smiles at his quip, but it doesn't last long as the vamp takes advantage of his distraction, landing a major blow that sends him in a head-over-heels flip, earning Spike a bloody nose. Dazed, Buffy rushes in, pushes Spike aside, and stakes the vamp]
Spike: Phew.
[Buffy turns and gives Spike an out-of-patience look. Spike wipes his nose and sucks the blood off his fingers]
Spike: What? I softened him up.
Buffy: Better keep out of my way, Spike. I'm not going to take this much longer.
Spike: And I should do what with my spare time? Sit at home knitting... cunning sweater sets?
Buffy: Would it keep you out of my way?
Riley: She's right. You shouldn't be out here when she's patrolling.
[Buffy gives Riley a look of "You're a fine one to talk."]
Spike: Oh! I saw that. Looks like neither boy is entirely welcome. You should take him home, Slayer. Make him stay there. I've got knitting needles he can borrow.

Professor: Oh, I'm, um, quite sure of that... as I'm just as sure we can learn much from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance to come into the Initiative. I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here, alone, has killed or captured... How many is it?
Riley: Seventeen. Eleven vampires, six demons.
Buffy: Oh... Wow. I mean, that's... seventeen.
Professor: What about you?
Buffy: Me?
Professor: How many hostilities would you say you've slain?

Riley: What's a Slayer?
Forrest: Slayer? A thrash band. Anvil-heavy guitar rock with delusions of Black Sabbath.

Spike: Okay. How 'bout this one. Twice in recent memory, she's had the lover Wiccas do a de-invite on the house, keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list?
Riley: Because you're harmless.
Spike: Oh yeah, right. Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't like you, but sorry, Charlie, you're just not dark enough.

Riley: I don't know what's happened in your past.
Buffy: Pain... death... apocalypse... None of it fun.

[first lines]
Forrest: Women. Young, nubile, exciting. Each one a mystery waiting to be unlocked. Think any of them are gonna show? 'Cause the party'd be lame if we lack for hotties... Professor...? You with me?
Riley: No. I'm with this large pile of ungraded papers, due at 3:00.
Forrest: How are you gonna learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork? Oh... Check her out. Is she hot, or is she *hot*?
Riley: She's Buffy.
Forrest: Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's buffy.
Riley: It's her name, Forrest.
Forrest: You've established first contact? Excellent. What do you think of her?
Riley: You know, I never really thought about what I think about her.
Forrest: A girl that cute in the face, and you form no opinion?
Riley: No, I mean... she's all right, I guess. She's just kinda... I don't know... Peculiar.
Forrest: Peculiar?
Riley: Yeah.
Forrest: Hey, Graham.
Graham: Huh?
Forrest: What do you think of the blonde chick? Mattressable, n'est-ce pas? Riley's not down. Doesn't like her.
Riley: I don't dislike her. She just... she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her. I like girls I can get a grip on.
Forrest: I bet you do.
Riley: Not that way. Just a little less ready for takeoff all the time. There's definitely something off about her.
Graham: Maybe she's Canadian.

[Willow is advising Riley how to initiate a conversation with Buffy at a party]
Willow: Okay, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, but don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
Riley: So what do I do?
Willow: [surprised] Ask her to dance.
Riley: Right. Dance... Wait. No.
Willow: What's the matter?
Riley: I can't dance.
Willow: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel.
[Riley looks back at her, very surprised]
Willow: A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!

Willow: Okay, say that I help and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like Buffy. She likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition...
Riley: Yep, that's the plan.
Willow: I figured it was.

Riley: Hey, Buffy... What's up?
Buffy: Riley, look. Aren't they beautiful?
Riley: Uh... yeah. They're nice. A little dressy, maybe, for school, but...
Buffy: Riley.
Riley: Buffy.
Buffy: I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to me. And if things were different...
Buffy: Different than what?
Buffy: I want you to promise me that we can always be friends. And I'd really like you to be there on the day.
Riley: The day when...
Buffy: The wedding.
Riley: The wedding. What wedding?
Buffy: My wedding. I'm getting married. Can you believe it?
Riley: I don't think "no" is a strong enough word.
Buffy: I know! It's crazy. I mean, we fought for all these years and then... sometimes you just... look at someone, and... you know. You know?
Riley: No.
Buffy: I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other.
Riley: Can we start again?
Buffy: You'll really like him. Well... nobody really likes him.
Riley: I just need to clear a few things up.
Buffy: I don't even really like him.
Riley: Buffy.
Buffy: But... I love him... I do.

Riley: I hear ya. Got some, uh... big stories to tell you, too, if we even get half a second.
Buffy: Did ya die?
Riley: No.
Buffy: I'm gonna win.

Riley: Sorry about last time. Heard I missed out on some fun.
Xander: Oh, yeah. Fun was had. Also frolic, merriment, and near-death hijinks.

Riley: Okay, well, we'll hook up later.
Buffy: Are you mad at me?
Riley: Oh, no, not at all. I'm plotting your death, but in a happy way.

Riley: Hey, I'm well aware of how lucky I am, like, lottery lucky. Buffy's like nobody else in the world. When I'm with her, it's like... it's like I'm split in two. Half of me is just on fire, goin' crazy if I'm not touching her. The other half is so still and peaceful, just perfectly content. Just knows, this is the one... But she doesn't love me.

Riley: I don't know much about Angel, or your relationship with him, but... all I ask is... if you're gonna break my heart, do it fast.
Buffy: What? You think that Angel and I...
Riley: Didn't you?
Buffy: No. Of course not... How can you even ask me that?
Riley: I don't know. Xander said...
Buffy: Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia.

Buffy: Look, if you've been fighting since you were fifteen, you'd have a hefty resume, too.
Riley: Fifteen?
Buffy: I know. Wow. The point is, that-that we have different amounts of experience, you know? And plus, I do have that whole preternatural Slayer strength deal.
Riley: I've seen. Don't get me wrong, the girls I grew up with could hold their own, but... well, I'm not even sure I could take you.
Buffy: That all depends on your meaning.

Riley: Getting nostalgic?
Xander: I don't know. At first, it's just a place. And then you start to make memories, and then you're like... that's where Spike slept, and there, that's where Anya and I drowned the Sepavro demon. Oh! And right there, that's where I got my heart all ripped out... I really hate this place.

John: Look, I don't care what you guys call it: Gulf War Syndrome, Iraq Fever, or just Crappy Sickness X.

[Professor Walsh running a testing mission at night]
Professor: Lights...! Took the patrol team 42 minutes to track you. And you neutralized them in 28 seconds.
Buffy: I was just lucky.
Professor: I see. Well, still. Very impressive.
[leaves]
Buffy: [to Riley] I was just being modest with the whole lucky thing. You got that, right?
Riley: I got it.
Graham: Awesome, Buffy.
Forrest: Pfft!
Riley: See? You're a hit. Everybody loves you.

[first lines]
[Buffy catches football at the beach]
Buffy: Ha! Touchdown! Oh, yeah! Go, Team Me!
[tosses football back]
Riley: Anybody ever told "Team You" the quarterback throws like a girl?
[tosses back to Buffy]
Buffy: I do?
[tosses back with a lot of strength knocking Riley down]
Riley: Ohh! Uhh.
Buffy: Oh, sorry.

Professor: This is your objective. Sub-T-67119. Demon class, Polgara species. Though visual confirmation has not yet been made, we're confident of the target's approximate position, as it leaves behind a distinct protein marker. Dr. Angleman will brief you on its defenses.
Dr. Angelman: When threatened, bone skewers jut from the creature's forearms during battle. It's imperative when ensnaring it not to damage its arms. That's all you really need to know.
Buffy: Question.
Professor: Buffy?
Buffy: Why exactly can't we damage this Polka thing's arms? I-I, um, not-not that I want to. It's just, in my experience, when fighting for your life, body parts get damaged and better its bits than mine. Or ours.
Dr. Angelman: We wish to study the physiology of every subterrestrial's natural defenses. Part of the research we do here. Uh... Yes?
Buffy: What do they want?
Dr. Angelman: Want?
Buffy: Why are they here? Sacrifices, treasure, or-or they just gettin' rampagy? I find it's easier to predict their responses if I know...
Dr. Angelman: Uh, they're not sentient, just destructive, I believe.
Professor: They do have keen eyesight, however. You might wanna be suited up for this.
[Buffy glances at the green-clad commandos around her]
Buffy: Oh, you mean the camo and stuff? I thought about it, but, on me, it's gonna look all Private Benjamin.
[some of the commandos chuckle]
Buffy: Don't worry. I've patrolled in this halter many times.
[all the commandos laugh]
Professor: Why don't we give our attention to Dr. Angleman...
[Buffy raises her hand]
Professor: ... and save all questions until the end?
Dr. Angelman: Actually, I'm finished.
Professor: Oh. Uh, well, Agent Finn, deploy the teams.
Riley: Okay, listen up. We'll be going in a four-squad setup. Team Leaders: Gates, Taggart, and Stavros. Alpha Team, you're with me.
Professor: Report for TLs for assignments and weapon requisitions. Reminder: this is a zap-and-trap, people. Capture, not a kill. Any questions?
[sees a raised hand]
Professor: Buffy.

Buffy: Okay, everybody grab a weapon. We've gotta move.
Xander: And storm the Initiative. Yeah. Let's take on those suckers!
Buffy: I was thinking more that we'd hide.
Xander: Oh, thank God.
Rupert: Buffy, I think perhaps we should talk about this.
Buffy: We need to relocate someplace we're less likely to be found. We need to come up with a plan.
Willow: We could go to my place.
Buffy: The Initiative guys know how close we are. They'll automatically check the places that you hang out. Xander, what about your basement? The guys haven't seen us together that much and-and there's enough room.
Willow: Ooh, plus, mirrored ball.
Xander: Cool! Come on down and boogie at Xander's hideaway.
Anya: Yes. Come Boogie.
Rupert: Absolutely not. I will not squat in that dank hole.
Spike: What, it was good enough for me, but you're above it all?
Rupert: Precisely. Besides, I-I don't see why we can't stay right where we are. It's very unlikely that those Initiative boys are gonna come around here to look for our...
Rupert: [Riley enters] Buffy...! God, Buffy, are you okay...? What happened?
Buffy: You know?
Riley: I know something went down... Tell me.
Buffy: Maggie tried to kill me.
Anya: It didn't work, but they're all upset anyway.
Riley: Okay, listen. I need you to go over everything step by step. There has to be, has to be some kind of mistake.
Xander: There was no mistake. And how do you know something happened?
Riley: I was on a mission... but I came back and... I'm not sure. Look, let's just keep our heads and not jump to any...
[Riley stops and stares at Spike]
Buffy: What?

Riley: The demon attacked Professor Walsh. Got out of a small, gray car. A Citroen.
Willow: It stole Giles' car.
Xander: Why would a demon steal a car?
Anya: Why would a demon steal *that* car?

Willow: Yeah, we were pretty worried about you there for awhile, mister.
Riley: Me too. Hey, look, I know my behavior was pretty out there.
Willow: Forget it. Tell you what. You two crazy kids take down an unstoppable killer cyber-demon hybrid thingy and, uh, we'll call it all even.

[last lines]
Riley: [regarding Faith] Man, would I like to get my hands on her. Not in a sex way.
Buffy: I don't think she's coming back.
Riley: Guess she's had her fun.
Buffy: Yeah... Fun.

[first lines]
Riley: We're not expecting anyone, are we?
Buffy: Willow said she was gonna be at the science library all night.
Riley: Is that right?
[Willow enters the room]
Buffy: Uh, apparently not.

[last lines]
[Buffy and Riley being informed of what their lovemaking was causing]
Willow: Really, it wasn't your fault. You were under the influence of *powerful* magics.
Buffy: We were like zombies. I had no control over myself at all.
Willow: It must have been horrible.
[Buffy and Riley exchange a look]
Buffy: Yeah. Horrible.
Riley: Uh-huh.
Buffy: Mm-hmm.
Riley: It was bad.

Riley: So you want your mother to give you space to be a Slayer *and* shield you from it at the same time.
Xander: Thank you, Logic Boy. Did I mention this is a rant? Sense really has no place in it.

Buffy: You sounded like Mr. Initiative. Demons bad. People good.
Riley: Somethin' wrong with that theorem?

[Riley is staring at the two Xanders]
Riley: Psychologically, this is fascinating. Doesn't it make everyone want to lock them in separate rooms and do experiments on them?
[Giles and Buffy glare at him]
Riley: Just me then...

Riley: He started it.
Xander: He called me a bad name. I think it was bad. It might've been Latin.
Rupert: Stop it or you're going to break something.
Buffy: Or I'm going to break something.

Professor: Your visitor's pass. And I've assembled some reading material to bring you up to speed.
Buffy: Oh. And I thought I was never gonna get homework from you again.
Professor: You can't take that home. That's classified material. Highly sensitive. When you're through reading those pages, you'll have to eat them.
Riley: She's joking.
Professor: Don't worry. Doesn't happen very often. Shall we...? Much of our hands-on research with the HSTs is performed here. We call this "The Pit."
Buffy: And what do you call those?
[Buffy sees a pair of green squid-faced demons lying on two tables, while scrub-clad techs work on them]
Riley: Tough. It took eight of us to bring those two down.
Professor: They'll be under our control soon enough. Doctor Angleman! Head of our science team. He's a leader in the field of xenomorphic behavior modification.
Buffy: Behavior modification?
Professor: We've made significant advances in reconditioning the sub-terrestrials, bringing them to a point where they no longer pose a threat.
Buffy: So I've seen.
[Walsh and Riley look at her]
Buffy: On the Discovery Channel. With gorillas and sharks. They-They made them all nice. You haven't seen it?

Riley: Talk to me, Forrest.
Forrest: Signal's somewhere in this neighborhood. Estimate within a two-block radius.
[in his apartment, Giles is digging into Spike's wound with the tweezers while Anya holds the flashlight for him]
Willow: It feels and looks like the ionizing spell is wearing off.
Xander: Giles?
Rupert: Uh, I've got it. I've got it!
[holds up the tweezers with a two-inch dart with a blinking red light]
Rupert: [cut to Beta Team getting closer]
Riley: Okay, we wanna keep the hostile contained. So no one is to make a move without my...
Forrest: Wait. Signal's cleared up.
[points]
Forrest: There.
Riley: Let's go!
Rupert: Um, go!
[Giles give tweezers to Xander who races down the hall]
Riley: [cut back to Beta Team] What?
Forrest: It's on the move.
Riley: Heading?
Forrest: Straight at us, forty meters and closing. Moving fast.
Graham: In broad daylight?
Riley: Look alive, people. Weapons at the ready.
Forrest: Twenty-five meters... twenty... fifteen.
Riley: Where?
Forrest: To the left. Ten meters... five!
Riley: Anyone?
Graham: I got nothing.
Forrest: This doesn't make sense. It went right past us.

[last lines]
Riley: [hugging Buffy] It's okay. Just let it out. I'm right here.
Buffy: [sighs and sniffles] I can't
[steps back]
Buffy: Not now. The need me... If I start now... I won't be able to stop.
Joyce: [from other room] Buffy.

Riley: So, what have you got going on tonight?
Buffy: Oh, patrolling.
Riley: Patrolling?
Buffy: Uh, petroleum.
Riley: Petroleum?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Riley: Tonight you have crude oil?
Buffy: A-A-And homework.

Buffy: Riley... I'm not leaving him down there with the people that created this thing. I don't care how many guns they have, I'm going in. Okay... Wil, I need you to hack into the security mainframe and buy me a 10-minute shutdown of operation systems.
Willow: That could be...
Buffy: Tricky, not impossible. If you can't do it on-line, then use magic. Xander, any gear you've been saving for a rainy day I want you to give to me.
Xander: You want stealthy stuff?
Buffy: No, we tried sneaking in. This time I'm gonna use force. I figure I'll go in through the elevator shaft and use the cable as tow lines, then blast open the facility doors and find the infirmary.
Riley: [suddenly in the room] Am I really worth all that?

Riley: And you let Buffy go after her? Alone?
Rupert: "Let" isn't really a factor when she sets her mind to something. You know that.

Riley: [re. Angel] Well, there you go. Even when he's good, he's all Mr. Billowy Coat, King of Pain, and girls really like that...

Riley: Wow.
Buffy: Those were my best stories, and I didn't tell you the "Buffy breaks her butt" stories.
Riley: But you killed the... You did the thing with that... You drowned. And the snake...? Not to mention *daily* slayage of... Wow.
Buffy: It's no big, really. Hey, who wants ice cream?
Riley: Buffy... When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending... I just assumed that was a big week for you. It turns out I suddenly find myself... needing to know the plural of apocalypse.

Riley: Well, hey! Willow. And Xander, right? Jeez, what are the chances, huh? Yeah, I was just passing by and I thought I heard people inside.
Willow: You were just passing by in you G.I. Joe outfit?
Buffy: No offense, but you do look wicked conspicuous.

[Giles and company are researching old magic books]
Riley: These spells. These really work? I mean, can you really turn your enemies inside out, or learn to excrete gold coins?
Anya: That one's not so much fun.
Willow: They work, Riley, but they take concentration, being attuned with the forces of the universe.
Xander: Right, you can't just go
[reading]
Xander: "librum incendere" and expect...
[Xander's book bursts into flames and he slams it shut, extinguishing it]
Giles: Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.

Riley: That's Hostile 17.
Spike: No, I'm just a friend of Xanderr's... Pfftt. Bugger it. I'm your guy.
Buffy: This is Spike. He's, um... It's a really long story, but-but he's not bad anymore.
Spike: Hey! What am I, a bleeding broken record? I'm *bad*. It's just... I can't bite anymore... thanks to you wankers.
Riley: We've been looking all over the place for him, but you've known where's he's been all along.
Buffy: It's not like that.
Riley: Then what is it like? What's he doing here?
Spike: Leaving you swabs to your dramatics, thanks. I've got my stories on the telly for that. By the by, if you're trying to kill her...
[Spike grins and gives two thumbs up and then leaves]
Riley: Buffy... what is this? You're hiding an HST?
Xander: Why don't you just back off and let her ask the questions, Jack? Your boss just tried to make monster food out of her.
Riley: [seeing unfriendly faces all around him] I-I didn't see much... I wasn't there... All I know is Professor Walsh told me you were dead. Then, I saw you on the monitors... Look, this isn't Professor Walsh. There must be something making her act this way, something, I don't know, controlling her.
Rupert: We think Buffy may have been becoming too inquisitive, that she was getting close to something that Professor Walsh was trying to hide. Any idea what that might be?
Buffy: What about 314? Maybe that's it.
Riley: Maybe she was trying to test you. What if it was only a drill?
Buffy: Then why did she tell you I was dead? Riley, it wasn't a test.
Rupert: See, I've heard rumors that the Initiative isn't all that we've been told. That, um... secretly they're working towards some darker purpose, something that might harm us all.
Riley: No! That's... that's not what happens there.
Buffy: Riley!
Riley: I would know!
Buffy: But no one is sure of anything, okay? We're just trying to sort it out.
Riley: I can't be here. I'll sort it out on my own.

[as a chained demon is lead past]
Riley: How do you explain the things we deal with, Forrest?
Forrest: They're just animals, man. Plain and simple. Granted, a little rarer than the ones you grew up with on that little farm in Smallville, but...
[demon breaks free and begins to choke him until Riley knocks it out]
Forrest: Like I said... animals.

[last lines]
Riley: Hi...
Buffy: Hi...
Riley: Well... I guess we have to talk...
Buffy: I guess we do...

[last lines]
Riley: [about Buffy] I'm just saying she'll work out. You'll be proud of her.
Professor: You want to know what I think...? I think you're probably right.

Riley: Don't worry. If I kiss you, it'll make the sun go down.

[first lines]
[Riley has just hung a "Lesbian Alliance" banner]
Riley: Looks good.
[sees Buffy]
Riley: Hey, Buffy.
Buffy: Is there something you wanna tell me?
Riley: What.
[Buffy looks pointedly at the banner]
Riley: Oh.
[chuckles]
Riley: Yes. I am a lesbian.
Buffy: Well it's good that you're so open about it.

Riley: We've been tear-assing through every jungle from Paraguay up, taking out nests. As soon as we put one Suvolte down, a dozen take its place... They're breeders, Buffy. One turns into ten. Ten becomes a hundred. This gets out of hand and there's a war with humans, the humans are gonna lose.
Buffy: So they're like really mean tribbles. Sorry. I've been dealing with these, these geeks. It-It-It's a whole thing.

[first lines]
Buffy: Are you sure you'll be all right? 'Cause I can be there in the morning.
Riley: It's just a debriefing. They're not gonna make me disapper and they're not pinning anything on me. I got Graham and a lot of the guys testifying I'm the reason they're alive. I might actually get out of this with an honorable discharge.
Giles: In return for your silence no doubt.
Riley: Oh yeah. Having the inside scoop on the administration's own Bay of Mutated Pigs is definitely an advantage.
Giles: It's like you're blackmailing the government.
[they look at her]
Giles: In a... patriotic way.

Buffy: [on phone] Thank you. I'll let you know.
[hangs up]
Giles: What is it?
Buffy: It's Faith... She's awake... She beat someone up, took her clothing and disappeared out of the hospital. No one knows where she is.
Xander: I'd say this qualifies for a worse timing ever award.
Willow: What do we do?
Giles: Well, we have to find her.
Willow: What about Adam?
Xander: I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic.
Buffy: Well, Faith's not exactly Low-Profile Girl. I'll patrol and wait for her to make a move.
Giles: And then what?
Willow: Oh, I have an idea. Beat the crap out of her.
[grins]
Xander: Good plan.
Buffy: Good on paper, but we still have a decision to make... Do we hand her over to the cops? They wouldn't know what to do with a Slayer even if they knew we existed.
Willow: What about the Council?
Xander: Been there, tried that. Not unlike smothering a forest fire with napalm, as I recall.
Giles: Well, the Initiative, they do have, uh, containment facilities.
Xander: One word. Evil.
Buffy: There's no way around it. Faith is back and, whether I like it or not, she's my responsibility.
Willow: Yeah. Too bad. That was the funnest coma ever.
Buffy: We have no idea where she is. We don't know what she's thinking, what she's feeling.
Xander: Who she's doing.
Buffy: She could be terrified. Maybe she doesn't even remember. Or-Or maybe she does and-and she's sorry and she's alone, hiding somewhere?
Giles: Well, uh, perhaps there's some form of, uh, rehabilitation we just haven't thought about.
Willow: And if not, ass-kicking makes a solid Plan "B."
Buffy: I'm not gonna rule it out. First thing, we need to find her. Then we can take it from there.
Riley: Who's Faith?

- No. I'm just not great at research, which I'm sure you guys have figured out.
- I like me a good crime scene.
- Um, give us a call if you need help?
- Believe me, somethin' jumps out at me in the dark, you'll hear me even without the phone.
Riley: Call me if you learn anything.
- You got it.
- I don't want to be the one that finds the bodies anymore.

Riley: It's just... This thing, this you-and-me thing... it's stupid.
Buffy: I know. Which is why we can't do it... the you-and-me thing.
Riley: No. I mean, you're stupid... I mean... I don't mean that. No. I think maybe I do.
Buffy: Wow. With sweet talk like that you'll definitely melt my reservations.

[first lines]
[in waiting room during Joyce's surgery]
Rupert: Just me. Sorry... Can I get you anything?
Buffy: No. Thank you.
Rupert: Riley?
Riley: No, I'm fine.

[last lines]
Buffy: You got something else for me to carry?
Riley: Uh, you can help me pack this.
Buffy: Sure.
[they kiss]
Buffy: Mmm... Sure.

Tara: Yeah. You learn her source and, uh, we'll introduce her to her insect reflection.
[everyone stares blankly]
Tara: Um, th-that was funny if you, um, if you studied Taglarin mythic rites... and are a complete dork.
Riley: Huh. Then how come Xander didn't laugh?
Xander: I don't know that Taglarin stuff.

Riley: Wow. Uh... who is this guy? Does he go here?
Buffy: Spike? Oh, no. He's totally old.
Riley: Old.
Buffy: Well... not as old as my last boyfriend was.

Riley: I can't believe it... I choked.
Willow: You really, really did.
Riley: You don't understand. I'm good at things. That's what I do. Work hard, apply myself, get it done.
Willow: Well, you failed extremely well.

[in Willows dream]
Riley: [in a play] Why, hello, little lady. Can I hold those milk pails for you?
Harmony: Why, thank you, but they're not very heavy. Why have you come to our lonely, small town which has no post office and very few exports?
Riley: I've come looking for a man... a salesman.

Willow: Hey, I found the mark. It's part of an augmentation spell. Jonathan did an augmentation spell.
Riley: What, um... did he have, uh... you know.
Willow: Him... and how we see him. This spell turns the sorcerer into a sort of paragon, the best of everything, everyone's ideal. Bu-But there's a drawback.
Riley: A drawback?
Xander: That happens a lot.

Riley: Morning, Mrs. Summers. You look great.
Joyce: Oh, thank you, Riley.
[leaves]
Buffy: Suck-up.
Riley: What? it's a nice outfit.
Buffy: Mm-hmm.
Riley: Besides, "I'm here to violate your firstborn" never goes over with parents. I'm not sure why.

[in Buffy's dream]
Riley: We're drawing up a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffee makers that think.
Buffy: World domination? Is that a good?
Riley: Baby, we're the government. It's what we do.

[last lines]
Buffy: No. It's just I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses and I *had* to give you a hard time.
Riley: I did not have fear in my eyes.
Buffy: Yes, you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain.
Riley: So you decided to tell me you're getting married.
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Riley: So... you're insane.
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Riley: But you're still single.
Buffy: Yes.
Riley: Okay then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle.
Buffy: You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley.
Riley: You're gonna teach me.

Spike: Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Riley: Am I dark enough for you now?
Spike: Bloody pull me back in, you sod. I'm startin' to sizzle!
Riley: You don't know anything about Buffy. You never did. I'm the one that knows what she needs.
Spike: Oh yeah? That's why you're with her at hospital right now giving her what she needs.
Riley: What are you talkin' about?
Spike: Don't you know? Didn't she tell you?
Riley: You tell me.
Spike: Her mum's sickly. Buffy took her to hospital for a bit of prod and probe. Bite-sized one went, too... You know, it's-it's funny her not calling you about that. I've known since last night.

Willow: Why should I trust you?
Riley: Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face.
Willow: I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars.

Gil: How'd the transaction go?
Bradley: Never a problem with Cuz.
Gil: Yeah I like that nigger. Or is it - is it "nigga" with an A at the end, when you're saying it nice?
Bradley: Don't think someone like you can say that word any way polite.

Riley: You're *really* strong. Like, Spider-Man strong.
Buffy: Yeah. But, I don't stick to stuff. But, yeah.

Riley: I've never seen anybody get under your skin this way before. What did she do to you exactly?
Buffy: It's a long story.
Riley: I'm from Iowa. We drive four hours for a high school football game. Try me.

[first lines]
Riley: I guess we have to talk.
Buffy: I guess we do.
[long pause waiting for the other to start]
Buffy: Somebody should speak before one of us graduates.

Buffy: You're quite the regimental soldier.
Riley: I am how they trained me.
Buffy: They? Who they?
Riley: You know, the government. Plucked me out of Special-Op training for this.
Buffy: What did they tell you it was for?
Riley: Didn't. In the military, you learn to follow orders. Not ask questions.
Buffy: I don't understand. Aren't you curious about all the science and research stuff they're doing?
Riley: I know all I need to know. We're doing good here. Protecting the public. Removing the subterrestrial threat... It's work worth doing.

[Riley is scraping out slime out of someone's mouth with a pen and everyone recoils from the smell]
Riley: Ugh. That might be toxic. Don't touch it.
Xander: Oh yeah. Touching it was my first impulse. Luckily, I've moved on to my second, which involves dry heaving and running like hell. Oh man, does that smell.