The Best Nichole Hiltz Quotes

Anya: [to Diana, who's crying] I know how you feel. Maybe I can help.
Diana: How could Carl do that to me... that bastard?
Anya: He's a man. Look no further.
Diana: But with my sister? She's not even pretty.
Anya: Well, it isn't always about looks... or a beating heart. Sometimes intimate, sweaty relations with the wrong person just seems like a good idea at the time.
Diana: She's fat. He cheated on me with my fat, ugly sister.
Anya: Likes 'em fleshy, huh? Bet you wish he'd bloat up a couple of thousand pounds and pop like a big old meat zeppelin, don't you?
Diana: He said he loved me.
Anya: Well, gee. Then he must have meant it, 'cause, hey, guys never say anything they don't really mean, do they?
Diana: But we...
Anya: [Interrupting] They say, I love you, and-and you think it's true. They say, Oh, Anya. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And-and you believe them. You believe they feel the same way about you, because that's the way love's supposed to be, right?
Diana: Who's Anya?
Anya: And then you get all excited with the tingly anticipation. But wait! Not so fast. There's the apocalypse. And the back from the grave. And the blah-blah, blah-blah-blah. And by the time you're standing there in that beautifully expensive white dress you've dreamed about ever since you became human he gets all heebie-jeebie and decides, You know, I'd rather just go steady.
Diana: Men suck. I wish Carl's flesh would...
Anya: [Interrupting] You know, he said it isn't me, but how can I believe him? I mean, he knew he didn't want to get married. Deep down, he knew. But he lied to me every day for months.
Diana: I wish...
Anya: [Interrupting] And he lied and lied and lied some more. 'Cause, hey, who's gonna notice with all the other lies flying around like little monkeys. Then he thinks he can just sweep the carnage underneath the rug by saying,Oh...
[Scene ends abruptly]

Eugene: Libby's a pole dancer in a strip club.
Gabrielle: Oh! Wow, that, that sounds like interesting work.
Libby: You'd think so, but it gets old quickly. My big dream is to become a choreographer.
Carlos: Really?
Libby: Yeah. I made up this one move. It's called the serpent's tongue, and all the girls at the club are doing it now. It's so cool. If I had a pole I could show you.
Carlos: Well, we'll have to go down to the club and check that out. We'll make a night of it.

Carlos: I sure hope Libby likes this camera.
Gabrielle: Well, why wouldn't she? It's exactly what she asked for, the most expensive one in the store. You know, I'm telling you, Carlos. I'm getting really tired of kissing her ass.
Carlos: The woman is giving us her baby. We'll kiss whatever needs kissing.
Libby: What the hell are you guys doing here?
Carlos: Ah, we brought you this gift and you said that you didn't want us coming by your house...
Libby: Thanks, but I'm working, so you gotta go.
Gabrielle: Look, we spent a lot of money on that. The least you can do is open it so we can bask in your happy expression.