The Best Steven Anthony Lawrence Quotes

Donald: Jason, have you been fighting with this woman?
Jason: Well she broke my bike and made me have to see a counselor at school!

Jason: You know, my mom hates bugs. She screams like a girl.
Gertrude: So does my son-in-law.
Jason: I know where we can find some crickets.
Gertrude: No! Now, we should do as we're told, and start cleaning up.
Jason: [sighs] Okay.
Gertrude: That way, they won't be expecting it!

Jake: Want to play catch with the football I got you?
Dylan: My nanny'd have to check with my dad who'd have to check with my mom who'd say it was an inappropriate use of free time.
Jake: Sounds like a "yes" to me. Go get it Mikey.

Chunky: What is your *malfunction*, man?
Spike: It's Halloween, you nit. We take the night *off*. Those are the rules.
Chunky: Me and mine don't follow no stinkin' rules. We're rebels.
Spike: No. I'm a rebel. You're an idiot.
[stakes him]
Spike: Give the lot of us a bad name.