The Best Succession, Season 1, Episode 1 Quotes

Alessandro: Do you wanna call your dad?
Kendall: Do I wanna call my dad? No, I don't wanna call my dad. Do you wanna call your dad?

- In the end, you're just what you do.
- Don't worry, you'll get your nut.
- Connor!
- Shiv! Roman!
- The other helicopter.
- Colin, see to it.

- And until it opens up, chief operating officer.
- But I guess...
- I guess that's frank, huh?
- Mmm-hmm.
- Mmm-hmm.
- You okay?
- Sure. You?

- This is a lockdown.
- We all need advice, man.
- Advice? What? You're gonna give a double vote to a power-hungry maniac who will do fuck-knows-what with it because she's got our dad's dick in some supermax pussy grip and she's juicing him before he croaks?
- Guys? Lunch is coming up.
Roman Roy: Come on.
- Sorry, I don't mean to be strict.

- -Dad! Dad! Dadl -dad! I
Roman Roy: Just, yeah. A hospital.
- Take us to a hospital.
- Okay, yeah, now!
Shiv: Has he fainted?
- He fainted? He's hot.
Connor: He's really hot. I don't know.

Logan: Running the parks?
Greg: Just a little guy.
- Learning, you know?
- I mean, could that be...
- You scratch my back, I...
- I'm not gonna say
- I could scratch yours.
- It's be too considerable of a space, but is there an angle there, perhaps?

- I should take off. Fuck it.
- Hey, congrats, man.
- Thanks for coming by.
Roman Roy: Mmm-hmm. Mmm!
- Look at all this fucking bullshit!
[Mockingly] Mmm.
- Yes. Very serious. Mmm.
- Love you, brother.

- Come on. Find your places. Sit.
Marcia: Please, give me my seating plan.
- This is confusing. Sorry.

- Where am I?
Marcia: It's okay.
- We're in the new place.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- Need anything?
- No.
Marcia: You good?

Logan: It's my fucking company.
Kendall: Yeah you're right, it is your fucking company. And you know what? You're running it to the fucking ground.

- firefighters and wall street traders come together on the subway cars what's that, man?
- We're here, Mr. Roy.
- This is it.
- This is the day we make it happen, fikret.
- You're the man, Mr. Roy.
- You're the man.

- We were in the helicopter, and we got here really fast, but they think...
- Uh-huh.
- We don't know. They think he's had a brain hemorrhage.
[Voice breaking] If you could get here really soon, that'd be good.
- I'm sorry.
[Sniffles] Uh...

- What?
- Yeah. I'm so sorry.
- Are you...
- But_
- You just invited me into the chicken Coop.
- And without daddy around to protect you, I'm gonna eat you all.
- One by fucking one.

- Really. Quite tremendous.
- So, take this back to your life.
- It's a quarter million. Enjoy.
Logan: Son...
- Magnificent effort.
- Thank you.
- Magnificent.
- Come here.
- It's okay.

- and there's gossip getting soft-floated.
- By who?
- Uh, by the ether, I don't know.
- Hey. Hey, happy birthday, you old geezer.
- Look, it's exciting.
- This is gonna be great for you, dad.
- Mmm-hmm, I'm excited.

Marcia: Good.
- Right.
- Now just keep everything straight, okay?
- Good.

Logan: Where am I?
- Where the fuck am I?

- and pay you so much you sing whatever song I want.
- Easy. You still need me to recommend this.
- No, I don't.
- This is a deal so fucking good you have to take it, or we'll see you in court...
- Dude.

- Please, get off!
[In normal voice] Can you fuck off?
- Can you just get the fuck off?
- He's puking out of his eyes!
- Protein spill. Protein spill.
- Kids: Ew! Ew! Ew!
- Okay, this way. Come on.

Greg: Hey, man.
Tom: So, I hear you're the new kid, yeah?
Greg: Oh, well, I'm just kinda starting out...
Tom: I hear you're coming in.
Greg: Yeah, I mean I...
Tom: Yeah, eyes on the prize. Well, I have got my eye on you. Yeah, you need any help -- seriously, any help, any advice -- just, you know, don't fucking bother, okay?
[laughs]
Tom: I'm only razzing you, cuz! You're dreaming, really, I'm razzing you.
Greg: Okay.
Tom: That was a joke. No, really.
Greg: No, I...
Tom: You know, the thing -- I may look really fun, you know?
Greg: Yeah.
Tom: But the thing about me is I'm a terrible, terrible prick.
Greg: I haven't...
Tom: I got you again! I just got you again!
[laughs]
Tom: Fuck me, man, your face! Pals, yes?
Greg: Yeah.
Tom: Would you kiss me? Would you?
Greg: What? Kiss you?
Tom: If I asked you to?
Greg: Would I kiss you?
Tom: If I told you to, huh?
[laughs]
Tom: C'mon. I'm joking! I'm joking!

Roman Roy: Oh, we're not surprising him, are we? Oh, this is- Oh, he's gonna love this. I think the last time I surprised him he took a swing at me.

- They wanna go out.
- No one was gonna watch network, except you give it zing and they do.
- You make your own reality.
- And once you've done it, apparently, everyone's of the opinion it was all so fucking obvious.
- Lunch!

- And he's saying Logan's lost it.
- Yeah, that's right.
- Some board members and senior management, they want him out.
- That's what I'm hearing from people close to the family.
[Chuckles] Those disloyal fucks.
- Just say "source close to the family."

Kendall: I wasn't about to get into a fucking big dick competition, okay?
Logan: I hear you bent for him.
Kendall: Wha... I what?
Logan: I hear you bent for him, and he fucked you.
Kendall: Well, no, actually.
Logan: You know, I know that you've read a lot of books about business management and this and that, but you know what?
Kendall: What?
Logan: Sometimes, it is a big dick competition.

Logan: [Logan receiving a gift from Connor] Oh, wonderful. What is it?
Connor: Well...
Roman Roy: Oh yes, yes, it's a goo. It's a fucking goo?
Shiv: It's perfect.
Connor: It's sourdough starter. I thought that you might like to make something.
Logan: Ohh... great.
Connor: Yeah, okay. You shouldn't have opened it. Never mind. Forget it. It was an idea. I thought you might like it.
Logan: I do, I do. I just don't know what the fuck it is!