The Best Succession, Season 2, Episode 8 Quotes

Tabitha: [as Kendall prepares for his rap song] Is he about to strip?
Roman Roy: I think he's going to masturbate on stage to a photo of Dad.

- who will help me write the next chapter.
- I'm gonna announce tonight, in due course,
- I shall be appointing...
- Rhea Jarrell... as my chief executive officer.
- -[APPLAUSE]
- -LOGAN: Statement to follow.

Shiv: [Shiv has called a meeting of the siblings to decide what to do about Rhea] Not wanting to put a damper on Rhea's celebration or anything, but it's time we killed her, dead. Smash her skull with a rock.
Kendall: Okay
Connor: Nice. Way to ease us in, sis.
Roman Roy: We're there nibbles at this event? I was expecting nibbles.
Shiv: What I'm thinking is we just-we tell him direct. We just tell him, all of us, we won't have it.
Connor: Should I maybe take the floor? Would Rhea really be the worst thing in the world? Or does a woman from the outside actually make sense right now?
Shiv: All right, well-okay she got to you.
Connor: I'm fighting on two fronts and I may have to make a request to dad. No, okay, I'm just...
Shiv: This is bullshit, Ken?
Kendall: Well... I-I just-I think maybe you over played your hand.
Shiv: You're backing her too, rebounder? How'd she get to you? You think you'll be given another shot at some point? Doubt it, Ken. And Roman? You? No. She just thinks your a dipshit but maybe you can't see because you're too much of a fucking dipshit.
Roman Roy: Ah, well, I mean... oh fuck you. I know more about this company than any of you, dad and Gerry think so; they both care about management training.
Shiv: It's corporate daycare.
[Roman mimics it in a childish babble, then makes a fart noise]
Shiv: [They laugh] Don't laugh at that, that was not a good comeback. Good to know you're taking this serious.
Roman Roy: [He looks under a lampshade] I do.
Kendall: It's transparent. You know, Rhea's who dad wants. Clearly, so...
Roman Roy: [Roman hands her a card that says the word 'fart' on it] In case you want it in writing.
[She snatches it from him]
Connor: Full disclosure I'm starting to like her.
Shiv: [She throws it back at Roman] Aww, he likes her. Yeah, this is why you don't hatch a plan with Connor, the first fucking pancake.
Connor: First pancake. Okay. Thank you.
[He stands]
Connor: You're a brat. And none of you have been through what I've been through, so just...
Roman Roy: Aw, my mommy got send to the booby hatch and now I'm sad.

Logan: This place... I look around and... I don't know. We came back for, um... when my mother died, but it was all so... complicated. You can't explain it. It's not what you think. You look at the old pictures and they want you to think it's all so fucking simple, but it was... well, it was... It was, um-- I don't know what it was. It was, um... It wasn't... what they say, you know?

- -Story?
- -Yeah, from back in the day.
- Oh, yeah?
- What, you want a bit about, uh, old fucking Rosebud?
- Rosebud is a dollar bill.
- It's whatever it took to get me the fuck out of here.
- Good story, Dad.

- I think you're being too emotional about this whole thing.
- -Oh, my fucking God.
- -ROMAN: I think he's trying...
- -Are you doing the emotional card on me?
- -...to mansplain things to you.
- -Fuck's sake.
- -I mean...
- I mean,
- I was gonna mansplain it to you,
- -but I think he did a very good job.
- -[SHIV SCOFFS]

- I'm not a child.
- I don't piss on the carpet every time it thunders.
- I just think we share some similar interests.
- I mean, is it okay to let her do this much planning?
- If she wants to throw him a big surprise party, who am I to spoil it?

- but yeah, let me have a little think. Hearts.
Kendall: Are you just looking at golf courses?
- -[CHUCKLES]
- -Like golf porn.
- Am I allowed to take those soaps in the bathroom?
- Yeah. Fuck it, take it all.
- -[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- -[JENNIFER SIGHS]

- Don't you agree?
- Dad? I need to ask, is it still me?
- You know that I want this, and that I can do it.
- Then why are you fucking me about?
- The Pierce job.
- Hey, Ken.
- I think we've got a problem.

- But when we're out on the other side of this all... it's you.
Rhea: I'm telling you now.
- It's always been you.
- Well... thank you.
- I don't know about that, but thank you.

- -You are.
- -[GIGGLES] Shh.
- Anyways, this is so awesome.
- Yes, it is.
[CLOCKS TONGUE] I, uh...
- I should really mingle, uh...
- -So good to meet you.
- -JENNIFER: Yeah.

- Check it.
- -♪ Five star general
- Y'all best salute, yo ♪
- -ROMAN: Oh, no.
- -No. Jesus, no. No.
- -TABITHA: [LAUGHS] Oh, my God!
- Ken.W.A.
- I mean it's... it is burning my eyes, but I cannot look away.

- -I'm not interested.
- -That really wasn't your fault.
- This, though...
- This is your fault.
- This empire of shit.
- Time to pay up.
- MC: Ladies and gentlemen, it is that time.

Shiv: [Shiv has called a meeting of the siblings to decide about Rhea] Not wanting to put a damper on Rhea's celebration or anything but it's time we killed her, dead. Smash her skull with a rock.
Kendall: Okay
Connor: Nice. Way to ease us in, sis.
Roman Roy: We're there nibbles at this event? I was expecting nibbles
Shiv: What I'm thinking is we just-we tell him direct. We just tell him, all of us, we won't have it.
Connor: Should I maybe take the floor? Would Rhea really be the worst thing in the world? Or does a woman from the outside actually make sense right now?
Shiv: All right, well-okay she got to you.
Connor: I'm fighting on two fronts and I may have to make a request to dad. No. Shiv, I'm just...
Shiv: This is bullshit. Ken?
Kendall: Well... I-I just-I think maybe you over played your hand.
Shiv: You're backing her too, rebounder? How'd she get to you? You think you'll be given another shot at some point? Doubt it, Ken. And Roman? You? No. She just thinks your a dipshit, but maybe it's because your too much of a fucking dipshit to realize it.
Roman Roy: Ah, well, I mean... oh fuck you. Dad, Gerry; they all care about me taking management training.
Shiv: It's corporate daycare.
[He mimics in a childish babble then makes a fart noise]
Shiv: [They laugh] Don't laugh, that was not a good comeback. Good to know you're taking this serious.
Roman Roy: [He looks under a lampshade] I do.
Kendall: It's transparent. You know, Rhea's who dad wants. Clearly, so...
Roman Roy: [Roman hands her a card that say the word 'fart' on it] In case you want it in writing.
[She snatches it from him]
Connor: Full disclosure I'm starting to like her.
Shiv: [She throws it back at Roman] Aww, he likes her. Yeah, this is why you don't hatch a plan with Connor, the first fucking pancake.
Connor: First pancake. Okay, thank you.
[He stands]
Connor: You're a brat. And none of you have been through what I've been through, so just...
Roman Roy: Aw, my mommy got sent to the booby hatch and now I'm sad.
Connor: Fuck off.
[He leaves]
Kendall: I think you're being a little too emotional about this whole thing.
[He leaves]
Shiv: Oh, my fucking god. Are you throwing the emotional card on me? Fuck sake.
Roman Roy: I mean I was gonna mansplain it to you but I think he did a very good job.
[Roman leaves]

- Jeff Greenway.
- I mean, fuck me.
- I-I thought it was supposed to be a--
- -You know, a steak and a chat.
- -Rhea thought it would be nice.
- Well...
- Shall we?
- Oh.

- Anything to get him to roll, right?
- Yeah, right. Sounds smart.
- Okay. So, I just wanted to let you know.
- Nice to keep your dad in a good mood for the festivities.
- Absolutely.

Shiv: Don't like the past too much, huh?
Logan: I do. I do. It's, uh... It's just there's so much of it. The future is real, but... the past, well it's... all made up.

- Hey, can we get Jennifer on the first flight outta here?
- Sure thing. Everything okay?
- Uh... Yeah. Good.
- Maybe-Hey. Hey, Tony.
- Maybe, um... let her know
- I might be tied up. Okay.
- Excuse me.

- Make some noise!
- -♪ A1 ratings, 80K wine ♪
- -[CROWD CHEERS]

- Je suis pas ta secretaire.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh... Look, you stay as long as you like,
- I'm gonna bolt after the soup, say I have calls.
- I just wanna get the fuck out.
- Okay.