The Best That '70s Show, Season 2, Episode 25 Quotes

[Hyde, Jackie, and Fez are playing Monopoly]
Jackie: This game is just like real life! I am the richest of all!

- Yeah. Well, you're gonna be here till you get it right, kelso.
- Well, okay, red, but eventually my parents are gonna come lookin' for me.
- Yeah, but they're not gonna find you.
- Oh, that's another joke.
- Come on, laugh, kelso!

Jackie: Laurie makes me so mad! I just want to rip out her hair, show it to her, and hope it doesn't grow back! I hate her!
Hyde: Jackie, that's what she wants. She feeds on your anger, man. It only makes her stronger.
Jackie: Well, then, what am I supposed to do?
Hyde: If you really want to get under her skin, you have to be Zen.
Jackie: Zen? Okay, you can't just make up words, Hyde.
Hyde: No, man, Zen. At peace. Aloof. Zen.
Jackie: Oh. Okay, then. Hyde, will you teach me how to be Zen?
Hyde: You can't just teach someone to be Zen, Jackie. You can only *learn* to be Zen.
Jackie: Okay, I don't understand.
Hyde: Exactly. And that's your first lesson.
Jackie: Huh?

[Jackie has just beaten up Laurie]
Hyde: You kicked her ass, man!
Jackie: [exhausted] Yeah... yeah... whatever.

Hyde: Hey, man. It's better than Laurie being down here. She's like a big, cancerous tumor. Jackie, y'know, she's like a tiny benign cyst.

- red's about, it's forgiveness.
- No, he's not.
- He's the opposite of that.
- Oh, wait.
- I get you.
- Funny.

- Kelso.
- You have 5 seconds to get as far away from me as possible!
- But, red, what about our unspoken bond?
- 2!
- I'll call you.

Donna: I can't believe Laurie bit me! I hope she didn't give me slut rabies.

- or it's off to the asteroid mines for you!
- Don't forget your briefcase, red.
- Thank you, servotron 2000.
- Now...
- Roll back the roof,
- 'cause I gotta go.
- Jetpack... blast off!

- Well. If you're really as cool as you think you are, you would've been able to hold onto your one true love.
- But you couldn't, could you?
- Loser!
- Oh, well.
- Rrrr!

- What the hell is she doing with some high school kid?
- She went to college!
- Well, she did flunk out.
- Oh, kitty...
- I can see how their future is gonna turn out...
- And it's not good.

Laurie: [to Kelso] Next time we go hiking, make sure you bring a blanket. I think I have a twig in my shorts.
Hyde: What a coincidence. So does Kelso.

- What are you even doing here, anyways?
- Should you be off playing with ribbons and ponies?
- Well, shouldn't you be off...
- Being a bitch?
- Oh, I made the little girl saya bad word.
- See you tonight.

Kitty: [to Laurie] If you were REALLY an adult, you'd pick somebody with a future! Not Michael, who - God bless him! - will probably end up ripping tickets at the Tilt-a-Whirl... .