The Best That '70s Show, Season 3, Episode 12 Quotes

Michael: Jackie, why do you wanna go anyway? You hate Led Zeppelin.
Jackie: I never said I hated them, Michael. For your information, I think Led is hot.

- Um...
- Okay, stop.
- Whatever happened to suave, silky Fez?
- You're right. I forgot about him.
- He's hot.
- Exactly. So... Go get her, Fez.
- Caroline? It is Fez. May I sit?

- Go grab your smock.
- We gotta go to work.
- Hey, Red. Is that you?
- Oh, cripes.
- Hiya, neighbor.
- Can't hear ya, Bob.
- I'm testin' out Eric's new speakers.
- Not bad.

- Um, is... Is he... Does he...
- Oh, my God. You like Fez?
- Oh, my God. Come on. I'll introduce you to him.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- That's okay. I just... wanted to...
- I gotta go... use the baño.
- Stupid, stupid, stupid!

- I learned how to speak English faster than this.
- Fez, it's not real English when you speak it with a foreign accent.
- Geez.
- Aren't these the coolest?
- I can't hear you.
- I know. They're the greatest speakers ever.

- Just give me seven minutes.
- Eric, you gotta stop acting like a big shot.
- You're not the king of the world, you know.
- I'm employee of the month.
- I don't have to take this.
- This is no good, Kitty.
- What are you gonna do, Red? He's growing up.
- No, I mean your hair.

Laurie: Cosmetology is too hard. I'm quitting.
Kitty: Laurie, don't you think I wanted to quit nursing school a hundred times? The first time I put in a catheter, it broke off.

- Hey there, Harpo.
- Where's your horn?
- Bob, are you making fun of my hair?
- No.
- Take me.
- No.
- Take me.
- No.

- Oh, my God.
- Donna, where have you been? The concert starts in an hour. I'm ready to go. Let's go.
- The concert?
- Oh, right. The concert.
- Well, you guys were so busy fighting over the tickets, I forgot to tell you.
- I gave them away.
- What? No!
- To who?

- You are not quitting cosmetology school.
- Well, what am I supposed to do?
- I will be your model.
- But you just remember: Men have their cars.
- Women have their hair.
- It's like a car. It's valuable.

- Well, we do start doing nails next week.
- That might be fun.
- And I happen to know a few patients down at the hospital... who would love a manicure.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Uh-huh.
- Yep. It's... It's... It's just gonna perk 'em right up when they come out of their comas.

- Ah.
- Eric, why didn't you listen to me?
- If you'd gone to college, you could've really been something.
- Been something?
- Whoa.
- You're talkin' to the interim assistant weekend manager of housewares here, okay?
- Yeah. Show some respect.
- Well aren't you just the president of Turd Town?

Donna: Well, since Mr. Smock here is being all logical, I guess I'll have to take one of you losers.

- Or heaven. I'm not sure which.
- We have gym together.
- She barely sweats.
- Someday, I will make her my bride.
- Yep, no one likes a sweaty bride.
- Yeah, I hear you.
- So true.
- Hey. Why don't you go talk to her, man?

Michael: [to Fez] It's not real English if you speak it with a foreign accent.

[Donna tells Jackie she has two tickets for Led Zeppelin]
Jackie: Zeppelin? Oh, my God! That's a band, right?

- You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
- Thank you.
- Your cocoa-brown skin makes me hot.
- I know.
- I am irresistible.
- Would you like to dance?