The Best That '70s Show, Season 5, Episode 21 Quotes

Donna: [discussing a TV program] We were sitting in these same seats when we saw it.
Steven: Actually, you were sitting over there. I remember it because I could see up your skirt.

- Fez, a teenager, a boy with needs.
- Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
- We have the technology.
- We can make him more appealing to Nina, by making him less needy.
- We can make him cooler, suaver, aloofer.
- "Aloofer"?
- Is that even a word?
- We can make it one.
- We have the technology.

- why do we try to act like we have no needs?
- I have needs.
- For instance, I need a date for Saturday night. Any takers?
- You, blondie. You there, with the glasses.
- What about the redhead trying to cover her face?
- 12,378, here I come.

Steven: I'm telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man. They just don't want us to know, because then we'd buy all the water.

- ♪ We did last week
- ♪ Not a thing to do
- ♪ But talk to you
- ♪ We're all all right
- ♪ We're all all right ♪
- Hello, Wisconsin!

Donna: One time, he was creeping around my locker, and when I opened it, there was a rose inside and my gym socks were missing!
Michael: Donna, a word of advice: you're not gonna want those socks back!

- Now, who would leave a whole pan of peach cobbler just sitting on a counter?
- See?
- We don't need anyone else.
- We have lots of interesting things to say. Right?
- Hey, there's this car that runs on water.
- It runs on water, man!

Fez: Can we please talk about how hungry and horny I am? I wish I had a lady made of pizza. Or a pizza made of boobs!

Nina: [after Fez taps her on the shoulder] Oh, hi, Fez.
Fez: Oh, you wish! Try your "Hi, Fez" routine on someone else, babe, 'cause I don't need it!
[walks back to friends' table]
Steven: Nice work, Fez.
Fez: Shut up. I don't need your accolades!

- Here's a dollar.
- Sorry about the scene.
- Oh, poor Fez. Too depressed to leave his room.
- That's it. You guys, we gotta cheer him up.
- Eric, knock first.
- If Fez is alone, I'm guessing he's not wearing pants.
- Oh, awesome!
- Wait. Let's catch him.

Fez: I'm sorry, but a man in his sexual prime has needs. And you are lucky to have such a stallion at your disposal.

- Whenever you talk about that stuff, I frown, and when I frown, my skin wrinkles, and if I get wrinkles, my free ride is over.
- And I like my free ride!
- Yeah, we get it.
- You're good looking.
- Look, doesn't anybody have anything new to say?

- Lance Crawford is in the building!
- I'm getting the hell outta here!
- Wait, wait.
- What if he sees us sneaking out?
- Oh, Donna, leave one of your socks behind.
- What? It'll distract him.

- If that recipe were the polio vaccine, we'd all be in wheelchairs!
- I don't like Lance Crawford.
- He's always staring at me in this really creepy way.
- And this one time, I saw him fiddling around in my locker.
- When I opened it, there was a rose inside, and my gym socks were missing.
- Donna, a little advice. You're not gonna want those socks back.