The Best That '70s Show, Season 5, Episode 4 Quotes

- Aah!
- Unh!
- That's my eye!
- Heh heh heh!
- Nice.
- Uh-oh.
- Ow! My eye!

- You can't unlearn something like that, you know?
- Oh, no, look at the symptoms.
- "Temperamental behavior, mood swings, facial hair."
- Uh-oh, dad...
- I think you have menopause.

Michael: [Kelso's wearing goggles] Get my eye now!
[Hyde kicks Kelso in the shin, then pins him to the couch]
Michael: Get off me!
Steven: Not until you calm down!
Fez: [after giving Kelso a "Wet Willy"] Ah, a wet one!
Michael: Fez, I'm going to get free eventually and then I'm going to kick your ass!
Steven: We need to settle this.
Michael: I don't want to settle this! I don't want to talk about it! All I want to do is pound you until you feel as bad as I do!
Steven: [getting up] Fine. Hit me. Free shot.
Michael: [getting up] Are you gonna hit me back?
Steven: No, man. That's why they call it a "free shot".
Michael: [in a stance] Here it comes. It's coming, get ready!
Fez: We're ready, fool, do it!
Michael: Forget it. It's not going to change anything. Just, forget it.
[Kelso sits down on the couch]
Steven: Look, man. I didn't plan this thing with me and Jackie. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
Donna: [same time as Fez] Awwww!
Fez: [same time as Donna] Awwww!
Steven: Get bent!
Michael: What are we going to do now?
Donna: [getting up] I'll tell you what you're going to do! You're going to shake, and you're going to get over it!
Michael: No!
Donna: Shake!
Michael: I don't want to!
Donna: *Shake*!
[Kelso and Hyde shake hands]

Eric: Okay, Donna, we need to stabilize him. We're gonna need pudding, and lots of it.
Michael: [getting up] Who chooses a chick over a friend?
Eric: What? Come on, Kelso, remember when you made me walk home in a blizzard because you wanted ten extra minutes with Pam Macy?
Michael: I didn't steal Pam Macy from you, and you could've played in the snow until we were done.
Donna: Jackie wanted to get married and you bailed. Now, she *doesn't* want to marry you. That solves your problem, albeit with a disturbing twist ending.
Michael: I'm kicking Hyde's ass!
Eric: Kelso, you couldn't open my kitchen door.

- Aha!
- So the battle of wits has begun!
- What battle of wits?
- I admit it.
- I'm messing around with Jackie.
- I hate you!
- Ow! My eye!

- Yeah, come on.
- Fine. You want to hear the big news?
- The doctor told me
- I started menopause.
- Kitty, language!
- You're not pregnant?
- No, no, just barren.
- Talk about that.

Eric: Mom, I'm really sorry. I know how much you wanted a baby. I'm not sure what to say, mainly because I don't really know what menopause is. Are you going to lose your hair?
Reginald: Shut up, she's not losing anything. From time to time, a woman's body... Kitty, explain it to the boy.
Bea: I'm just going to get some orange juice.
Eric: Mom, maybe you should talk to Grandma about this.
Reginald: Yeah, we're just a couple of ignoramuses!
Kitty: Go!
Eric: [as they're leaving] Is it... Is it a "lady parts" thing?
Reginald: We'll look it up in the World Book.

- Albeit with an unpleasant twist ending.
- No, I don't care.
- I'm kicking Hyde's ass.
- Whoa, kelso, kelso, come on.
- You couldn't open my kitchen door.
- I mean...
- Seriously. Think about how this plan usually turns out.

Michael: [laughs] Why is Hyde kissing Jackie?
[He looks back at Donna, who's running her hand through her hair]
Michael: What the hell? He's dead!
[He slams the beer can on the kitchen counter and starts pulling on the sliding door, unable to open it]
Donna: Kelso...
Michael: They're getting away! What is wrong with this thing?
Eric: It's against my better judgment, but...
[flips the latch]
Michael: Thank you. Now, Hyde's really dead!
Michael: [Kelso walks into the screen door] Well, that's invisible!

- Well, not everything that needs to be talked about has to be nice.
- Mom, why don't you ever really talk to me?
- I told you
- I liked your cookies.
- I'm gonna find your father.
- Burt!

- why don't you come over and sit with us?
- I'm fine here.
- We'd really like it if you would sit and join the party.
- I'm part of the party right here.
- Sit!

- What is wrong with this thing?
- Well, this is against my better judgment, but...
- Thank you.
- Now, Hyde's really dead.
- Ow!
- That's invisible!

- My eye!
- What am I supposed to do?
- I mean, he broke the code.
- He's wrong.
- You know what?
- You're right.
- He's like my oldest friend, and he stabbed me in the back.

- Oh. Ok.
- Get ready.
- Here it comes.
- It's coming.
- Get ready.
- We're ready!
- Do it, fool!