The Best That '70s Show, Season 6, Episode 8 Quotes

[to Eric and Donna]
Michael: There's no groping in the circle! We made that rule for Fez, but it goes for everyone.

Michael: We might not be the perfect match, but I really, really like you. And I think maybe us having this baby together is, like, fate.
Brooke: Michael, fate is when two people meet on a train, or in Paris. Not in the bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert.
[she walks away]
Michael: Fate! Man, never use a word in a fight if you don't really, really know what it means.

[Donna and Eric are about to have sex]
Eric: I'm just going to have to warn you, I'm exhausted, so you're going to have to do all the work.
Donna: Why should today be any different?

- I've been flirting with for days.
- How about this for a celebration?
- I'm going in there with my buddies and you wait in the car.
- But that doesn't sound like fun.
- Well, that's how we celebrate in America.

- All right, maybe I stayed a little longer than I expected.
- Hey, look, how about we stop for some pie?
- No.
- Oh, come on. Let me get you a pie.
- I am not in the mood.
- Oh, just let me buy you...
- There will be no pie!

- Donna.
- You told me you were working.
- I brought you brownies because you told me you were working your ass off.
- And now it turns out that you're spending all the time we could have spent together with the guys.
- And I gave you daytime sex.
- All right!
- Who brought brownies?

[Eric and Donna just had sex]
Eric: You know what I have, right in the palm of my hand?
Steven: No one wants to know that. Just wash up.

- Okay, then, are you buckled up?
- Yes.
- Because the little blinking man on the dashboard says you aren't.
- Buckle up.
- No.
- Yes.
- No. Look, start this car or
- I'm gonna pack you in a crate, take you down to the port, and trade you for a year's supply of bananas.

Kitty: You have been such a big help, working yourself nearly to death. I made you your special sandwich.
Eric: Awww. The 'Eric McSweety'.
Steven: It's a regular sandwich, hold the masculinity.

Jackie: So, hey. Maybe a good way to break the ice would be for everyone to tell a few things about themselves. I'll go first. I like make-up and diets, and Steven, here, likes black things and throwing stuff at glass.
Brooke: Okay. Well, I was valedictorian in my class, I run marathons, and I tutor kids in Latin.
Michael: Well, I egged the valedictorian of my class. And a marathon runner. Oh, and some kids that took Latin!
Steven: This is fun.

Donna: You're babying him.
Kitty: I'm not.
Donna: Are there crusts on that sandwich?
Kitty: Of course not! Crusts are icky, they make Eric sicky. Oh, my God, I *am* babying him!

- fate.
- Michael, fate is when two people meet on a train or in Paris, not in the bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert.
- Fate!
- Man, never use a word in a fight if you don't really, really know what it means.

Brooke: Okay, but don't pretend you want to go out with me because you feel guilty.
Michael: I wanna go out with you because you're hot!
Brooke: I'm not hot - I've gained six pounds...
Michael: That's okay, 'cause it's mostly in your boobs! See, Nature does this to keep us around when you girls chunk out.

Michael: Okay, Brooke, here's the thing: We should date.
Brooke: Michael, I'm pregnant with your child. Pretty much the best and worst things about dating have already happened to us.

- The secret of life.
- You know what? I'm taking this one step further, fellas.
- I'm gonna get fat.
- Yeah, I'll never be strong, but I think I can be fat.
- That's a pretty thought.

- You're right. No, you are absolutely right.
- And I'm really, really sorry, okay?
- So, are you still mad at me?
- Well, it's kind of hard when you keep agreeing with me.
- I agree.
- Stop it.
- You're beautiful.
- I will kick your ass.

Reginald: [agitated] You want to know why I'm unpleasant? I just had a heart attack! And now I have to be driven around like a useless dope by the idiot that married my daughter and gave me the heart attack in the first place! And I am also unpleasant because I just spent the entire day cooped up in the car breathing that mustard gas you call cologne! But mostly, I'm unpleasant because that's how it works in this family.
Fez: I'm family?
Reginald: Oh, crap.

- or clothes, or clothes for the wedding, but, God, I'm so beat from last night.
- Okay, well, why don't you go back to bed and I'll crawl in with you after class?
- But this time, sweep the bed for G.I. Joes,
- 'cause that last thing that happened, that was unpleasant.

Steven: No. No, man, there is no way I'm going on a date with your ex-girlfriend who's now my girlfriend, and your new girlfriend who doesn't want to be your girlfriend, but is pregnant with your child. That's like, hillbilly territory.
Michael: I'll pay.
Steven: I'm in.

Kitty: Okay, who's ready for Spidey and a sandwich?