The Best That '70s Show, Season 8, Episode 22 Quotes

Eric: And, you know what? It turns out that, um, Red was right. I *am* a dumbass!

- You're gonna say three and I'm gonna be the only one that jumps.
- Well, if it makes you feel any better, why don't you do the counting?
- Yeah, that way we all have to jump. All right.
- Here we go.
- One, two, three!

[Kelso walks into the living room with a big bottle rocket]
Michael: Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
Red: Sure, and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.
Steven: And that, my friends, is the last foot-in-ass of the decade! Cheers!
Kitty: Michael, I just... It's so good to see you. The girls in the Emergency Room were just asking about you.
Michael: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot Mom!
Kitty: Oh! Hahahahaha!
Red: You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass.
Steven: Look at that. He got one more in him.

- I know.
- It's just, Donna, I thought about you every day.
- And you know what? It turns out that Red was right.
- I am a dumb ass!
- Donna,
- I'm sorry.

- Really?
- Of course.
- Red.
- I love you.
- Oh, I love you, too.
- I was talking to the tickets.

- I circled the airport so many times that my finger actually hurts from flipping people off.
- This is so typical of Eric.
- I let myself get all excited and then he doesn't even show up.
- You know, Mrs. Forman,
- I'm sorry, but your son is an inconsiderate jerk and
- I'm so glad I'm through with him.

- I just want to see Eric one last time, you know?
- Show him that even though he broke up with me that I'm fine.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Or maybe it's 'cause you still love him.
- You are so off.
- Oh, he's here.
- Oh, my God, how's my hair?

Red: And you are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It's called: "On The Road To 'In Your Ass'"!

- Mrs. Forman is pouring the champagne.
- Hey, guys, last one up the stairs has to call Red a dumb ass.
- Oh, man.
- Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!

- I wish I could bring her here but this place is ruined.
- "Michael plus Jackie."
- It's like going on after Sinatra.
- Yeah, we've had some good times up here, man.
- My favorite thing was watching how people got down.
- My beer!

- That was really nice.
- Yeah, you have a really strong tongue.
- Yeah.
- It's from all the talking.

- Look at that.
- He had one more in him.
- ♪ Won't you let me walk you home from school?
- ♪ Won't you let me meet you at the pool?
- ♪ Maybe Friday I can
- ♪ Get tickets for the dance
- ♪ And I'll take you ♪

- if I rewrite some of that history.
- Look!
- Oh, crap! It was dark.
- Fez, this really shouldn't be this hard.
- Look, I just want everybody to know how much I love you.
- I always have.

[Final lines of the series]
Eric: Hey, guys! Last one upstairs has to call Red a dumbass!
[the gang rushes upstairs. Hyde grabs Kelso, making Kelso the last]
Michael: Oh, man...
[Kelso puts on the "Stupid Helmet" and goes upstairs. Meanwhile, everyone counts down, loudly, from 10 to 1. After the end credits, the license plate tag changes from '79 to '80]