The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 1, Episode 1 Quotes

- It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, discouraging conversation...
- Nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.
- I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
- Do you want me to move?
- Well...
- Just sit somewhere else.
- Fine.

- Well, what do you wanna do?
- I want to leave.
- Okay.
- What's the protocol for leaving?
- I don't know.
- I've never reneged on a proffer of sperm before.
- Let's try just walking out.
- Okay.

- If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here.
- I think this is the place.
- Fill these out.
- Thank you.
- We'll be right back.
- Oh, take your time.
- I'll just finish my crossword puzzle.
- Oh, wait.

- I'm no expert, but in the context of a lunch invitation...
- You might wanna skip the reference to bowel movements.
- Oh, you're inviting me over to eat?
- Oh, that's so nice. I'd love to.
- So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
- Well, today we tried masturbating for money.

- Oh, that sounds like fun.
- Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me oh, baby, baby don't get hooked on me
- I don't know your odds in the world as a whole...
- But as far as the population of this car goes, you're a veritable Mac daddy.
- Baby, don't get hooked on me

- Good thinking, I'll just be the muscle.
- Yeah?
- I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.
- From the intercom.
- How the hell did you get in the building?
- We're scientists.
- Tell him about our IQ.

- Okay, thanks for your time.
- We're not gonna give up just like that.
- Leonard, the TV's in the building.
- We've been denied access to the building, ergo we are done.
- Excuse me. If I were to give up at the first hitch, I never would have identified...
- The fingerprints of string theory in the aftermath of the big bang.
- My apologies. What's your plan?