The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 10, Episode 9 Quotes

Sheldon: I'm not proud of this, but I have been envious of your recent success.
Bert: Wow. I won the MacArthur grant, everyone's jealous of me... Once I get Lasik I'll be out of things to wish for.

Amy: [Leonard helps a limping Sheldon into the apartment] What happened?
Sheldon: I tried to let go of anger and threw a rock into my foot.
Leonard: [with a tissue hanging out of his nose] Then he got more angry and kicked the rock with his other foot.
Penny: And what happened to you?
Leonard: Oh, I laughed so hard I burst a blood vessel in my nose. It's fine.

- Someone call George r. R. Martin, this guy knows how to finish a story.
- Gotten pretty good at telling it.
- Well, see ya.
- Some "genius," I zinged him with sarcasm and he didn't even notice.
- I know, and it was the greatest sarcastic quip I've ever heard.
- Well, aren't you a peach.

Leonard: You know, I do understand what you're feeling. My brother and sister's accomplishments have always been held over my head.
Sheldon: How did you deal with it?
Leonard: I wet the bed until college, but I don't think that's a quality fix.
Sheldon: I can't believe I was surpassed by a geologist. I mean, rocks. He studies rocks. If rock is so great, how come paper beats it?

Sheldon: [Struggling because he hurt his foot] Sorry I'm moving slowly.
Leonard: I don't mind. If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket it'll be like I'm walking with my grandma.
Sheldon: [Sees plaque of Bert] Oh no! A plaque? Nobody wants to see this!
Leonard: Change "plaque" to "mixed race couple" and you are my grandma!

Sheldon: This is worse than when I had to admit that Cedric the Entertainer is actually entertaining.

Sheldon: Thank you, Professor Hawking. You are a gift to mankind. There should be statues of you everywhere. You know, the Lincoln Memorial has a big chair; we could swap you right in.

[last lines]
[Sheldon and Bert are at a taping of the Ellen DeGeneres Show]
Ellen: A new study came out and it said that laughing makes your brain work better. And I know that's true because laughing has made me the smartiest. Although, on the other hand, babies laugh a lot and they're dumb.
Sheldon: [to Bert] Do people know about her? 'Cause she's delightful.

- Last question. What is wrong with you?
- What's the big deal?
- Howie, it's in poor taste.
- No, it's not.
- Check it out, he says fun stuff.
- Hey, good iookin', want to go for a spin?
- His eyes also light up in the dark.
- It's always fun watching him read someone else's work.

[first lines]
Bert: [in the background] Thank you very much. Thanks.
Leonard: That is unbelievable. Good for Bert.
Howard: Damn. The MacArthur Genius Grant.
Raj: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
Sheldon: Everything is stupid and I want to go home.
Leonard: That's Sheldon's way of saying he's proud of Bert too.

Bert: [jealous of Bert, Sheldon injured himself expressing his anger] What happened to you?
Sheldon: [pointing to each foot in turn, then his forehead] Rock, rock, water fountain.

Amy: I can't believe you headbutted a water fountain.
Sheldon: No. I went to punch the water fountain, slipped in water in front of the water fountain, and hit my head on the water fountain.

Sheldon: Who leaves their bike in the hallway? Y'know, if I knew how to ride one, I'd steal it.

- You know, as a MacArthur Grant winner,
- I'm allowed to nominate someone for next year.
- Really? I didn't know that.
- So I was thinking, you know, engineers don't get a lot of respect.
- Is your friend, Howard, working on anything cool?
- You know, I'm not sure. No, you'd have to ask him. Excuse me.

Stephen: I understand you're struggling with professional jealousy.
Sheldon: Thanks, Leonard, now he's not going to think I'm cool.
Stephen: Don't worry. I know how you feel. I have never won a Nobel prize.
Penny: Oh, wow, that doesn't seem fair.
Stephen: It's fine. I've been on The Simpsons.
Sheldon: How do you deal with the success of your colleagues?
Stephen: I remind myself every scientific advancement is a victory. Also, I was on Star Trek.

Sheldon: Hang on, you're my enemy. And if the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and right now, I'm my own worst enemy, that makes you my frie... Okay, I'm good to go.

Sheldon: I admire you, Leonard.
Leonard: Really? Why?
Sheldon: You're happy with who you are. You don't get jealous of other people. Instead of being weighed down by ambition, you just float along like a dead body in a river.
Leonard: [to himself] I couldn't just take the compliment. I had to ask why.

- Do you think this is in poor taste?
- Does it spin around and do tricks?
- Yeah!
- Then, yeah.
- What do you think?
- That is hilarious!
- Give me the remote control, I wanna drive him into the girls' restroom.
- All right, we're done, it's offensive.

- Fine, you can walk ahead of me and scare off the pigeons.
- You just wave your arms a little and they fly away, it's not...
- Okay, raj, I'm gonna show you something.
- Now, one of us thinks it's offensive, the other thinks it's hilarious and a great idea.
- But I'm not going to tell you who likes it.

- What a wonderful idea!
- How does this man not have a nobel?
- Do not tell Wolowitz.
- Way ahead of you.
- A new study came out, and it said that laughing makes your brain work better.
- And I know that's true because laughing has made me the smartiest.
- Although, on the other hand, babies laugh a lot and they're dumb.
- Do people know about her?
- 'Cause she's delightful.

- that Bert's success is not my failure.
- There you go!
- And that men of his large stature are more susceptible to a wide array of life-threatening diseases.
- There you go.
- What's up?
- I'm conducting a quick survey.
- Do you think this respectful and loving tribute to a great man is in poor taste?

Sheldon: [about Bert] Some genius. I zinged him with sarcasm; he didn't even notice.
Leonard: [sarcastically] I know. And it was the greatest sarcastic quip I've ever heard.
Sheldon: [oblivious] Well, aren't you a peach.