The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 2, Episode 12 Quotes

Sheldon: Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
Rajesh: As with my father, I both love and fear it.

Sheldon: We don't need Wolowitz. Engineering is merely the slow, younger brother of physics. Watch and learn.
[pause]
Sheldon: Do either of you know how to open a tool box?

Penny: Do you think that sometimes you try too hard?
Howard: Look at me. What chance do I have if I don't try too hard?

- All right, what's next?
- No, I think I'm just gonna stay in tonight and do laundry.

[first lines]
Howard: All right, that's the last servo. Behold, the Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator, or
Howard: Monte.
[pronounced monty]
Howard: Featuring one articulated razor-sharp killing saw, one polycarbonate grinding and flipping wheel, steel armor-plate exo-skeleton top and bottom, and enough horsepower to drive a hundred-and-ten pounds of mechanized death from zero to holy crap in four-point-eight seconds.

Howard: Oh yeah, that door got the full Monte.

- Sorry, you little nerd. You were just in the wrong boys' room at the wrong time.
- Gentlemen, goggles.
- Yeah, this is an auspicious moment.
- Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong...
- We need the appropriate words to Mark this historic scientific event.
- How about, "die, toaster, die"?

Sheldon: Your robot is inferior, and it will be defeated by ours, because ours exceeds yours in both design and execution. Also, I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight.
Rajesh: Oh, snap.
Sheldon: Now of course, if that is a result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony I withdraw that comment.

Howard: There's an awards banquet and a dance afterward. Perhaps you'd like to come with me. I know the other fellows would be very excited to see a girl there.
Penny: How is it supposed to be a dance if I'm the only girl?
Howard: Well, that may be a slight exaggeration. You'd be the only *doable* girl.
Penny: You're a pig, Howard.
Howard: How is doable anything but a compliment?

- And this is the first time
- I feel like I'm talking to a real person.
- And you know what? I like him.
- He's a nice guy.
- You really think so?
- I don't know.
- No, I do.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a masters degree in engineering!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Excuse me, Mr. Fancypants. Want me to get you a Popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry! All that's left is green!
Howard: You make me want to kill myself!

Howard: Once again, Penny and I have begun our little tango. The carnal repartee, the erotic to and fro. But as delicious as the appetizer might be, at some point we have to succumb and eat the entree while it's still...
[mimes sizzle]
Howard: ... hot.
Leonard: I'm begging you, stop talking.
Penny: Normally, I can just ignore you. I get it. You're a little peculiar, like Sheldon.
Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but in this room, you are the one who is peculiar.
Penny: You may be right. But back to you. I know you think you're just some kind of smooth-talking ladies man, but the truth is you're just pathetic and creepy.
Howard: So, what are you saying?
Penny: I am saying that it is not a compliment to call me doable. It is not sexy to stare at my ass and say "Ooh, that must be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that." And we are not dancing a tango, we are not to-ing and fro-ing, othing's going to happen between us! Ever!
Howard: Wait a minute. We're not flirting, you're serious.
Penny: Flirting? You think I'm flirting with you? No woman is ever going to flirt with you! You're just going to grow old and die alone!

Rajesh: Okay, what shall be first to taste the wrath of Monte?
Leonard: Maybe we should start small.
Rajesh: Okay, ooh, perhaps today's the day we finally find out what's inside the Magic 8-Ball.
Sheldon: I did it when I was four. It's an icosahedral die floating in tinted blue water.

[the guys are about to test their robot on a toaster oven]
Sheldon: This is an auspicious moment. Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong, we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event.
Rajesh: How about "Die, toaster, die!"?
Leonard: That'll do it.

[last lines]
Sheldon: So, what do you think, Howard? I-it's not that bad, right?
Howard: Ah, nah, a little electrical tape, some solder... Are you insane! I've seen space probes that crashed into the desert that were in better shape than this.
Sheldon: You're right. Monte's gone. We'll bury him in the morning. A-a simple ceremony, I'll speak. Leonard, you'll play your cello.
Penny: Sheldon, honey, aren't you getting a little carried away? I mean, it's just a toy robot.
Sheldon: Just a toy robot...
[he runs to his room]
Leonard: Penny.
Penny: I know; I got it.
[she goes to Sheldon's room]
Penny: Sheldon! I'm sorry!
Howard: Well,
[pointing to his bandaged nose]
Howard: don't get the wrong idea. The way I see it I'm halfway to pity sex.

- Just a toy robot?
- Penny.
- I know, I got it.
- Sheldon? I'm sorry.
- Well, don't get the wrong idea.
- The way I see it,
- I'm halfway to pity sex.

Penny: Your mom seems nice.
Howard: People move away from her on the bus.

Leonard: Don't take this as a criticism, but you do kind of have that overexposed-to-gamma-rays thing going on?
Penny: What does that mean?
Leonard: You know, like most of the time you're the easygoing Bruce Banner, but then when you get angry, you kind of turn into like, you know... Grrr!
Penny: I turn into a bear?
Leonard: Seriously? Gamma rays? Bruce Banner? You didnt get The Incredible Hulk from that?

[Kripke challenges the guys to a robot duel]
Leonard: Barry, we can't fight you tomorrow. Our engineer is incapacitated.
Barry: What's wwong with him?
Rajesh: He's depressed because he's pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls.
Barry: We're ALL pathetic and cweepy, and can't get girws. That's why we fight wobots. If you'we not thewe, you'ww be exposed to widicuwe.
Rajesh: I'm curious, what part of America is that accent from?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard: Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.
Howard: I don't want to talk to her.
Penny: Hey.
Howard: Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: She ran past me. Was I supposed to tackle her?

- Thanks for the heads up.
- Howard, where are you going?
- I'm going home...
- To live my creepy, pathetic life.
- Well, y... someone had to say it.
- What?
- Uh, he said maybe we should enter you...
- In the killer-robot competition.

Sheldon: We've accepted the challenge. We can't run away from a fight.
Leonard: Oh please, we've spent our whole lives running away from fights. Personally, I can squeeze through a hole in a fence half my size.

Sheldon: You're overlooking the fact that we now know what we're up against. We can now modify Monte so he's prepared.
Leonard: You want to prepare him? Install a bladder and a pair of shorts so he can wet himself.