The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 10 Quotes

Sheldon: Subject appears well rested and enthusiastic. Apparently, ignorance *is* bliss.

Penny: You see in the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator so that he's warm, yet not so close that he sweats. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct, so he can still talk to everybody, yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.

Bernadette: I don't have Howard's street cred.

[last lines]
Leonard: Most people aren't that interested in what I do.
Penny: Ahem. Actually, that's not true, Leonard. In fact, recently I've been thinking that given the parameters of your experiment the transport of electrons through the aperture of the nano-fabricated metal rings is qualitatively no different than the experiment already conducted in the Netherlands.
[Leonard is astounded]
Penny: Their observed phase shift in the diffusing electrons inside the metal ring already conclusively demonstrated the electric analog of the Aharonov-Bohm quantum interference effect.
[Everyone is dumbfounded]
Penny: That's it; that's all I know. Oh, wait! Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts, not the scientist.

Sheldon: Howard, your shoes are delightful. Where did you get them?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Bazinga, I don't care.

Sheldon: This is the beginning of the twenty-six hundred year journey we're going to take together from the ancient Greeks, through Isaac Newton, to Niels Bohr, to Erwin Schrödinger, to the Dutch researchers that Leonard is currently ripping off.

[first lines]
Penny: Hey, Leonard. Check this out.
[Throws a dumpling up in the air and catches it with her mouth]
Sheldon: Leonard, she's doing it again.
Leonard: I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food.
Sheldon: No, it upsets Sheldon when she willy-nilly takes it from the containers without regard for its equitable distribution.
[Turns to Raj]
Sheldon: This is essentially why you have famine in India.
[Raj shakes his head no at Penny]
Penny: [Mouth open so the dumpling is visible] You want me to put it back?
Sheldon: Leonard...
Leonard: It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.

Bernadette: I love your shoes.
Penny: Oh, thanks. They are cute, aren't they?
Bernadette: Where'd you get them?
Penny: Shoes for Less.
Bernadette: I've been meaning to go over there.
Penny: Oh, great selection, great prices.
Sheldon: My mother was right. Hell is real.
Howard: Come on, Sheldon, let the women-folk chat.
Penny: Women-folk?
Howard: Gals? Chicks? Utero-Americans?..

Sheldon: Oh, sure. And while we're at it, why don't we put our hands behind our backs, have an old-fashioned eating contest?

- To erwin schrodinger...
- To the Dutch researchers that Leonard is currently ripping off.
- Twenty-six hundred years?
- Yeah, give or take.
- As I was saying, it's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece...
- Yes, penny.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Can't you hold it?
- Not for 2600 years.

- Their observed phase shift in the diffusing electrons inside the ring...
- Already demonstrated the electric analogue...
- Of the aharonov-bohm quantum interference effect.
- That's it. That's all I know.
- Oh, wait.
- Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts, not the scientist.

Penny: I was wondering if you could maybe teach me a little physics.
Sheldon: A little physics?.. There's no such thing. Physics encompasses the entire universe. From quantum particles to supernovas. From spinning electrons to spinning galaxies.
Penny: Okay, cool, I don't need the PBS special. I wanna know enough so I can talk to Leonard about his job. Like Bernadette does.
Sheldon: Why can't Leonard teach you?
Penny: Because I wanna surprise him.
Sheldon: Can't you surprise him in some other way? For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback if you clean your apartment.

Sheldon: Leonard's work is nearly as amazing as third graders growing Lima beans in wet paper towels.
[Raj whispers in Sheldon's ear]
Sheldon: While I appreciate the "Oh, snap!", I'm uncomfortable having your moist breath in my ear.

Sheldon: [trying to teach Penny physics] How can you not know? I just told you. Did you suffer a recent blow to the head?
Penny: Hey, you don't have to be mean.
Sheldon: I'm sorry.
[trying to sound more cheerful]
Sheldon: Did you suffer a recent blow to the head?

Penny: Look, can we just please forget about all this extra stuff, and can you just tell me what Leonard does?
Sheldon: All right. Leonard is attempting to learn why sub-atomic particles move the way they do.
Penny: Really? That's it? Well, that doesn't sound so complicated.
Sheldon: It's not. That's why Leonard does it.

Sheldon: Why are you crying ?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad.

Howard: Utero-Americans?

- So he's warm yet not so close that he sweats.
- In the summer, it's in the path of a breeze...
- Created by opening windows there.
- It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct so he can talk...
- Yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.
- Perhaps there's hope for you after all.

Penny: Oh, yeah, you can't sit there.
Bernadette: Why not?
Leonard: That's where Sheldon sits.
Bernadette: He can't sit somewhere else?
Penny: Oh no, you see in the winter, that seat is close enough the the radiator so he's warm yet not so close that he sweats. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct so he can still talk to everybody yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.
Sheldon: Perhaps there's hope for you after all.

Howard: I want you to meet my girlfriend Bernadette.

Sheldon: Leonard's work is nearly as amazing as third graders growing lima beans in wet paper towels.

Sheldon: And what do we know from this?
Penny: Um. We know that... Newton was a really smart cookie. Oh, is that where Fig Newtons come from?
Sheldon: No, Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts. Don't write that down!

Sheldon: What no, that's a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.

Bernadette: Don't take him too seriously. A lot of what he says is intended as humor.
Penny: Yeah, well, I don't think it's very funny.
Bernadette: Me, neither. But, he just lights up when I laugh.
Penny: Howard, never let her go.

Sheldon: My mother was right. Hell is real.

Bernadette: [forgiving Wolowitz after an argument] Come here, Tushy Face.
Leonard: [as they kiss, he snickers and pulls out his phone] "Tushy Face". That is going on Twitter right now.

Howard: It's not enough you get the prom queen, you have to get the head of the decorating committee too?

Sheldon: [Sheldon is trying to teach Penny about physics, but she's having a rough go of it] Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and it makes me sad.

Sheldon: [voiceover as he works at his laptop] Research Journal. Entry 1. I'm about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career. Teaching Penny physics. I'm calling it: 'Project Gorilla'.

Sheldon: [after Raj beats him on Mario Kart] That's not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.
Raj: And a cow, and a penguin. Face it dude. Whether it's a real car or a virtual cartoon car, you can't drive.

Leonard: Are you interested in physics?
Bernadette: I find it fascinating. If I hadn't gone into microbiology, I probably would have gone into physics... or ice dancing.

Penny: Oh, come on, a smart guy like you; it'll be a challenge. You could make it like an experiment.
Sheldon: Interesting. I suppose if someone could teach sign language to Koko the gorilla... I could teach you some rudimentary physics.
Penny: Great! A little insulting, but great. I'll be Koko.
Sheldon: Not likely. Koko learned to understand over two thousand words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.

Sheldon: Why can't Leonard teach you?
Penny: 'Cause I want to surprise him.
Sheldon: Can't you surprise him in some other way? For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback if you cleaned your apartment.

Penny: A lot of the girls threw up, but I gutted that thing like a deer.

Leonard: Relax, it'll be fine. Sit down, you guys.
Leonard: [as Bernadette goes for Sheldon's spot] No!
Bernadette: What?
Penny: Oh, yeah. You can't sit there.
Bernadette: Why not?
Leonard: That's where Sheldon sits.
Bernadette: He can't sit somewhere else?
[from across the room Sheldon turns, stares and raises an eyebrow a freakishly long way]
Penny: Oh, no, no. You see, in the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator so that he's warm yet not so close that he sweats. In the summer, it's directly in the path of the cross breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television on an angle that isn't direct so he can still talk to everybody, yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.
Sheldon: Perhaps there's hope for you after all.

Penny: [Sheldon is giving her a long-winded history lesson on physics] I have to go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: Can't you hold it?
Penny: Not for 2600 years.

- Sh eldon: Project gorilla, entry two.
- I am exhausted.

Penny: Hey Sheldon, can I talk to you for a second?
Sheldon: It's not about shoes, is it? I don't think I can go through that again.

Sheldon: All right, let us begin. Where's your notebook?
Penny: Um... I don't have one.
Sheldon: How are you going to take notes without a notebook?
Penny: I have to take notes?
Sheldon: How else are you going to study for the tests?
Penny: There's gonna be a test?
Sheldon: [stressing the plural] Tests.
[Sheldon gets a notebook from his desk and hands it to her]
Sheldon: Here. It's college ruled; I hope that's not too intimidating.