The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 15 Quotes

Howard: Sorry I couldn't hang with you last night; I had a date with Bernadette.
Raj: I know. I saw the tweet.

Raj: Even though I don't have a girlfriend, I can still have a good time on Valentine's.
Howard: Trust me, you can't. I've tried.
Raj: No, no, no. I'm gonna have a "me" day. I'm gonna go to one of those spas in Koreatown, take a steam, get a massage. Then I'm gonna stop at a pet store and get licked by puppies.

Sheldon: I made you breakfast. Juice, coffee, and pancakes in the shape of some of your favorite fictional characters. See, here's Frodo.
Leonard: You made Frodo pancakes?
Sheldon: Yeah, I used coconut shavings to do the hair on his feet.

- And I avoid contact with other people on general principle.
- I don't know what to tell you,
- Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, penny, thank you.
- You're welcome.
- It's you. I touched you.
- Happy Valentine's day.

[last lines]
Raj: Oh my goodness, look at this room.
[gasps]
Raj: Champagne! Roses! Oh, and little chocolates! This is going to be the best Valentine's day ever.
Leonard: Yeah, I forgot about all this.
Raj: But I never will.

Penny: You actually put that in an agreement!
Leonard: Uh, yeah. We also put in what happens if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant, or if one of us gets superpowers, of if one of us is bitten by a zombie.
Sheldon: He can't kill me even if I turn.
Penny: Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend?
Sheldon: No, that seemed a little far-fetched.

Sheldon: I think you know why I'm here.
Penny: I always assumed it was to study us, discover our weaknesses and report back to your alien overlords.

Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a third century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

Sheldon: [Sheldon and Penny both have the flu] I just don't understand how this happened to me. I'm scrupulous about my hygiene, I regularly disinfect my hands, and I avoid contact with other people on general principle.
Penny: I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon.
[Sheldon remembers when he hugged Penny]
Sheldon: It's *you*! I touched *you*!
Penny: Happy Valentine's day.

- But let me be more specific.
- I believe you know why I'm here in the laundry room.
- Better acoustics for your throat singing?
- It's actually not bad.
- But my true purpose in being here will be revealed...
- In this brief powerpoint presentation.
- Ahem. Lights.

Sheldon: I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider since I was nine years old.
Leonard: Yeah? Well, I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's Day with a girl since I was six.
Sheldon: Shame on you! That's no dream for a scientist!

- If you turn into a zombie,
- I promise I will not kill you.
- In fact, I'll even let you eat my brains.
- But I'm taking penny to Switzerland.
- Is that your final decision?
- It is.
- Very well.
- It's not over, is it?
- What do you think?

Sheldon: Since I rarely hug, I am relying on your expertise regarding duration.
Penny: I think we're there.

Sheldon: Which ski hat says "après super collider"?

Sheldon: Round two: Leonard Hofstadter, Darth Vader, Rupert Murdoch.
Leonard: Rupert Murdoch?
Sheldon: He owns Fox and they cancelled Firefly. Hint: he and Darth Vader are tied for number two.

- And your penis would droop like a Willow tree.
- You seen Sheldon?
- No.
- Is he still mad about the super collider?
- Yeah, he thinks I betrayed him.
- What would you guys do if you were me?
- I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland.
- Seriously?
- Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

- Or as they say in Switzerland, gesundheit.
- Getting a cold?
- No, no, it's probably just allergies.
- You want an allergy pill?
- I have them all.
- Prescription, nonprescription, foreign, domestic, experimental.
- Do any of them work?
- Not really, I'm just an enthusiast.

Leonard: [awoken by sounds of Penny vomiting] What's going on?
Penny: [sarcastic] I'm having a tea party. What do you think's going on?
[sounds of Penny hocking up phlegm]
Penny: I think I might have the flu.
[sounds of more vomiting]
Penny: Or the plague.
Leonard: Well, our plane leaves at 9:00 a.m. Do you think you'll feel better by then?
Penny: [sounds of more vomiting] Yeah, 'cause I'm gonna be dead!

- What the hell is that?
- Uh, let's see.
- Yep, 30 pieces of silverware.

[Sheldon places a tray of cutlery in front of Leonard and leaves]
Raj: What the hell is that?
Leonard: Uh, let's see... Yeah, thirty pieces of silverware.

- Rajesh: Oh, no way, dude!
- Oh, my god, this is incredible.
- I'm so happy I'm not gonna question theirjudgment in picking you.
- I'm just gonna run home and start packing.
- Wait, why wouldn't you take penny?
- I am taking penny.
- Then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home.

- Sheldon, do you really expect to enforce this?
- I've lived up to my commitments under the agreement.
- At least once a day I ask how you are, even though I simply don't care.
- I no longer stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10 pm.
- And I abandoned my goal to master tuvan throat singing.
- I shouldn't ask, but what is...?
- No.

Sheldon: Help me out. Which ski hat says, "Après Super Collider"?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not taking you to Switzerland.
Sheldon: Well, of course you are. Who else would you take?
Leonard: Penny.
Sheldon: What? That's absurd. Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.
Leonard: Yes, but it'll be Valentine's Day. We can go sightseeing and skiing and make love in front of a roaring fire in the shadow of the snow-capped Alps.
Sheldon: But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research!
Leonard: I'm sorry, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Sorry? I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider since I was 9 years old.
Leonard: I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's with a girl since I was 6.
Sheldon: Shame on you. That's no dream for a scientist.

Penny: Okay, what's the big surprise?
Leonard: Just a minute. This tray contains clues as to what you and I are going to be doing on Valentine's Day.
Penny: Oh. Wow. Okay. Let's see. We've got, uh, milk chocolate, Swiss cheese, fondue... My lactose-intolerant boyfriend is going to eat all this, then I'm going to climb on his back and rocket to the moon?
Leonard: No. But it does involve air travel. Okay, um, let me slice this *Swiss* cheese with my *Swiss* army knife, and then *you* can wash it down with a cup of *Swiss* Miss instant cocoa.
Penny: Okay, I'm starting to think Swiss is key here.
Leonard: Uh-huh.
Penny: We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn.
Leonard: How does that involve air travel?
Penny: We're going to Disney *World* and ride the Matterhorn!
Leonard: No.
Penny: Okay. Sweetie, this started out fun, but I'm over it.
Leonard: We're going to Switzerland to see the CERN supercollider!
[Penny looks at him blankly]
Leonard: And ski. We'll also go skiing.
Penny: We're going skiing in Switzerland?
Leonard: Well, you'll ski, I'll fall, but, yeah, we will be in Switzerland for Valentine's Day.
Penny: Oh, my God! Leonard, that's incredible!

- Hey, Sheldon?
- Listen, penny's sick and she's not gonna be able to go to Switzerland...
- So if you're still interested, you're welcome to come.
- Great. I'll start packing.
- In a minute.
- Oh, look, it's the cholermus.

Leonard: Come on, what would you guys do if you were me?
Howard: I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriouly?
Howard: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Hello.
Sheldon: All right, let's dispense with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I'm here.
Penny: Well, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses and report back to your alien overlords.

Leonard: I know what'll cheer you up; let's play one of your driving games.
Sheldon: All right. This game is called 'Traitors'. I will name three historical figures; you put them in order of the heinousness of their betrayal. Benedict Arnold, Judas, Doctor Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard: You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas?
Sheldon: You're right; Judas had the decency to hang himself after what he did.

[first lines]
Howard: [on cellphone] ... Sweetie. Uh, listen, I need to go, but I'll see you tonight? Bye-bye. Bye-bye. B- No, *you* hang up first. Hello?
Raj: Dude, I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend, but do you *have* to do that lovey-dovey stuff in front of those of us who don't?
Sheldon: Actually, he might have to. There's an economic concept known as a positional good, in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial but less precise "neener-neener".