The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 21 Quotes

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Nice to finally meet you in person.
Sheldon: I would imagine it is. This is my friend and roommate, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.

Sheldon: Elizabeth, Leonard's bathroom time is coming up and believe me, you do not want to follow him.

Howard: I have a two-part question.
Sheldon: Go ahead.
Howard: A: Are you kidding me? and B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon: A: I rarely kid and B: When I do kid, you'll know it by my use of the word "Bazinga".
Howard: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon: Yes... Bazinga.

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Can I ask you a question about your roommate?
Sheldon: He's an odd duck, isn't he?
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: What's his relationship status?
Sheldon: Well, there was a misbegotten adventure with a waitress who lives across the hall. It ended as inexplicably as it began. They had very little in common except for carnal activity. That's why I acquired these noise-cancelling headphones.

Leonard: Are you having trouble sleeping? Because... boy... I was up all night.
Raj: Did you get a cold, too?
Leonard: No, but I was awake all night.
Howard: If you want I can give you some of my mom's sleeping pills.
Raj: She won't notice them missing?
Howard: She doesn't know she takes them.

Sheldon: [in the bathroom] Pee for Houston, pee for Austin / Pee for the state my heart got lost in.
[pause]
Sheldon: And shake twice for Texas.

Raj: [after tricking Howard and Leonard into leaving, Raj locks the door and turns to Dr. Plimpton] So, you say you can't pay your rent.

Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.

Penny: You know what? It's, it's none of my business. If you want to sleep with Sheldon's doctor buddy right after we stopped seeing each other, go for it.
Leonard: Well, now...
Sheldon: Excuse me. I'm uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr. Plimpton, who I assure you has better things to do.
Penny: I'm not recommending it. I'm saying it already happened.
Sheldon: That's preposterous. Tell her, Leonard.
Leonard: Well.
Sheldon: No.
Leonard: Come on. It wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?
Penny: You know what? I'm just gonna take the bus to work.
Leonard: Penny, I can still drive you.
Penny: Oh, no, no, it's okay. You might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant.

Penny: You're having a woman stay with you?
Sheldon: Yes. Why does that seem to flabbergast everybody?
Penny: Oh, no no no no no, I'm not flabbergasted. I'm... puzzled. Yeah, let's go with puzzled.

Howard: [Raj takes a swig from his flask] What are you doing?
Raj: Relax, it's Nyquil.
Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. The good thing about Nyquil, it's like 10% booze. I call it the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine.

[last lines]
Leonard: Listen, I've been meaning to talk to you about the other morning.
Penny: You mean you and Doctor Slut-bunny?
Leonard: Yeah, I wanted to explain.
Penny: You don't owe me an explanation.
Leonard: I don't?
Penny: No, you don't.
Leonard: So, you're not judging me?
Penny: Oh, I'm judging you nine ways to Sunday, but you don't owe me an explanation.
Leonard: Nevertheless, I'd like to get one on the record so you can understand why I did what I did.
Penny: I'm listening.
Leonard: [very long pause] She let me.

Raj: [sneezes as he reaches the lunch table]
Sheldon: [stops Raj from sitting down] Hold!
Raj: What?
Sheldon: Explain your sneeze.
Raj: I'm sorry?
Sheldon: Do you have allergies?
Raj: No
Sheldon: Is there too much pepper on your salad?
Raj: I don't put pepper on salad.
Sheldon: I heard enough.
[Motions to the table behind him]
Sheldon: Sit over there.
Raj: Come on, I don't want to sit by myself.
Sheldon: That's what Typhoid Mary said and clearly, her friends buckled.
Raj: [to Leonard and Howard] Guys, help me.
Howard: Sheldon, come on.
Leonard: Yeah, it's just one sneeze.
[Raj sneezes again]
Leonard: You're on your own.
Howard: See you, buddy.

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Would you be a dear and get me a cup of coffee?
Leonard: Sure, black, right?
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: [turns and looks at Raj] Actually, now I think I want it hot, brown, and sweet.
[Raj takes a swig from his flask]

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Oh, good, Leonard's here.
Raj: [astounded] Good?
Leonard: Elizabeth, what's going on?
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men, and Raj is my new landlord, and I don't have enough money to pay any of you.
Leonard: Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?
Howard: Yep. Welcome to the Penthouse Forum!
Raj: OK, Show of hands, who's up for this?
[Only Howard raises his hand]
Leonard: We'll all be in naked in front of each other.
Howard: I'm out.

Sheldon: Dr. Plimpton, I'd like you to meet my colleagues, Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and not-a-doctor Howard Wolowitz.

Sheldon: Vocal test, morning vocal test.
[Clears throat]
Sheldon: Second vocal test, second morning vocal test.

- All right, if you'll excuse me...
- I am off to start a prophylactic course of antibiotics.
- I can't believe he's friends with Elizabeth plimpton.
- I can't believe they let him into Canada.
- Whoa. You heard the man.
- Where's your throat cultures?
- Kidding. Sit down.
Leonard: Ha.

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Thank you so much for opening up your home to me.
Leonard: Uh, well, who wants to stay in a hotel, with windows that don't open, those crazy card-shaped keys?
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: I'm so glad you understand.
Sheldon: No, he doesn't understand; *I* understand.
Leonard: Well, I understand too.
Sheldon: You're just misappropriating my understanding.

[Elizabeth knocks on door]
Leonard: Yes?
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: I saw your light on.
Leonard: Is everything all right?
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Yeah, I just couldn't sleep.
Leonard: Me neither. Look what I'm reading.
[Points to her picture on the back of the book]
Leonard: It's you.
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: I thought you already read it.
Leonard: I did. But it's been a while, and I wanted to sound smart over breakfast.
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Aw, you're smart!
Leonard: Oh, good. I wasn't sure it was coming across.
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: What chapter are you on?
Leonard: Uh, six.
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Ah. The extragalactic distance ladder. Want to know a little secret?
Leonard: Sure.
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: I wrote the section on the Wilson-Bappu Effect completely naked.
Leonard: Really? Sure doesn't read that way.
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Here, let me show you.
[Removes her robe as she speaks revealing she is naked]
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: When we consider the brightness of pulsating variable stars we start to see a possible explanation for some of the discrepancies found in Hubble's constant.
Leonard: Wow. You really make science come alive.

- Sure doesn't read that way.
- Here, let me show you.
- When we consider the brightness of pulsating variable stars...
- We start to see a possible explanation...
- For some of the discrepancies found in hubble's constant.
- You really make science come alive.

Sheldon: Leonard, I have something for you. Per our roommate agreement this is your twenty-four hour notice that I will be having a non-related female spending two nights in our apartment.
Leonard: When you say "non-related female", you still mean human, right?
Sheldon: Of course. Pets are banned under the roommate agreement, with the exception of service animals, such as seeing eye dogs and one day cybernetically enhanced helper monkeys.

Sheldon: Penny, this is Dr. Plimpton, a leading expert on quantum cosmology. Dr. Plimpton, Penny is a waitress who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays in the internal combustion engine.

Sheldon: Now listen, one of the great minds of the 21st Century is about to play host to one of the other great minds of the 21st Century. So pay attention; years from now my biographer might ask you about this event.
Leonard: Oh, I have so many things to tell your biographer.

Sheldon: Oh, Penny, excellent. I have a question about these maxi pads. Are the wings truly functional or have I fallen victim to marketing hype?
Penny: What? What are you doing with...? What?
Sheldon: The stock boy at Walgreens was frustratingly uninformed on the subject.
Penny: Sheldon, what are you doing with maxi pads?
Sheldon: I have a lady friend who will be staying with me for a few days.

Penny: Oh, I'm judging you nine ways to Sunday...
- But you don't owe me an explanation.
- Nevertheless, I'd like to get one on the record...
- So you can understand why I did what I did.
- I'm listening.
- She let me.

Leonard: Why is a world-renowned scientist staying in our apartment instead of a hotel?
Sheldon: She doesn't care for hotels. And who can blame her? Windows that don't open, multi-user linens, keys shaped like credit cards, as if one walks around with unassigned slots in one's wallet.

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Ah, Dr. Cooper, thank goodness. I completely forgot your address. But then I remembered that I'd written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn't confuse it with what I'd written on my other hand, which are the coordinates for a newly discovered neutron star. 'Cause if I tried to go there, I'd be crushed by hypergravity. Anyway, hello.

Leonard: Why didn't you tell me you knew Elizabeth Plimpton. I am a huge fan of hers.
Sheldon: I didn't realize I was obligated to share my connection with things you are a fan of. But, very well. You enjoy Canadian bacon. I've been to Toronto.

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: You two figure out the details; I'm going to go change into something I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh!
[she goes into another room, closing the door behind her]
Howard: What the frack?
Raj: Go away! She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli!
[pause]
Raj: Besides, you have a girlfriend!
Howard: We broke up weeks ago!
Raj: Why didn't you say anything?
Howard: I was waiting for the right time! This is the right time!

Sheldon: In here, you'll find emergency provisions: an eight day supply of food and water, a crossbow, Season Two of Star Trek: The Original Series on a high-density flash drive.
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: What if there's a disaster that destroys all the USB ports?
Sheldon: Then there's really no reason to live, is there?