The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 4, Episode 17 Quotes

Sheldon: I'm the whimsical elf that everyone looks to for a good time.

[Usual gang and Priya are gossiping about Sheldon]
Howard: Raj, did you ever tell your sister about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?
Priya: Oh, God! You're kidding?
Raj: Nope. Gates gave a speech at the university. Sheldon went up to him afterward and said, "Maybe if you weren't so distracted by sick children in Africa, you could've put a little more thought into Windows Vista."
[all laugh]
Leonard: Bam! Right in the nose. Made me proud to own a PC.

Leonard: I thought you were with your new friends.
Sheldon: I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.

[Sheldon's guests are singing karaoke. All have been drinking, and Stuart is still in towels from taking a shower]
Stuart,2365: [singing] I'm walking on sunshine... who-oo...
Levar: [arrives at party late, and enters] Hello, I...
Levar: [Sees strange guests and backs out of doorway] Oh, I don't think so...
Levar: [walking down stairs] I am so done with Twitter.

Amy: Yo, P-Dawg.

Raj: Hey, you're just in time. We made Tex-Mex.
Leonard: Sounds great.
Sheldon: Ooh, Indians making Tex-Mex. Might as well have had the Chinese pizza.

- I don't know why he's serving both.
- What do you want to do?
- You want to come with me, or do you want to sit here alone?
- No, I'll go to your haggis party.
- But I'm telling you.
- This is adness. This is utter and complete adness.

Priya: There's no assigned seats, Sheldon. Just sit anywhere, make yourself comfortable.
Sheldon: Oh, what fun. We're like hippies at a love-in.
Leonard: Just sit here.
Sheldon: Right on, man, right on.

Penny: Let's go through this one more time. Just because Leonard has a new girlfriend does not mean I need to go out and hook up with some guy.
Bernadette: But you could if you wanted to, right?
Penny: Well yeah, I guess.
Bernadette: Pick out the hottest guy in the room, take him home, do unspeakable things to him, then kick him to the curb with a smile on his face and teeth marks on his heinie?

Sheldon: Jacuzzi is a commercial brand, hot tub is the generic term, i.e., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
Zack: Is that like all thumbs are fingers, but not all fingers are thumbs?
Sheldon: Surprisingly, yes.
Zack: Nice. Now, what exactly are toes?

Kripke: I'm Barry Kwipke and I'm here because you told me there was gonna be a whaffle. When is the whaffle?
Sheldon: Patience, patience, Barry. The whaffle... the raffle is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly.

Sheldon: Well, no, sir, and do you know why? In a word, tradition. Every Thursday night for the last eight years, you and I and our friends have gathered here in this very spot to break bread covered with cheese and sauce, discuss the issues of the day, and yes, share a laugh or two. But I guess our rich heritage means nothing to you.

Sheldon: I just realized, we're about to spend an evening watching a plasma screen with a cluster of dead pixels in the upper left-hand corner.
Leonard: So don't watch TV. Read a book.
Sheldon: And be a social pariah? You know that's not my style.

- Actually, I do.
- I believe the Romans used to put spiced toast in their punch bowls.
- She's also a bit of a know-it-all.
- Mmm. This is good.
- Whatever it is.

Amy: You know, if being on your own is new to you, I'd be happy to share some tension-relieving techniques for ladies that I've perfected over the years. For example, do you have an electric toothbrush?
Penny: Uh, no.
Amy: You should get one.

- Don't make this harder than it is, Leonard.
- Good-bye, Sheldon.
- And good-bye to you, sir.
- He'll be back.
- Of course I'll be back.
- I live here!

Penny: Let's go find me a heinie to bite.
Amy: Outstanding. And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS and pick you out a nice toothbrush. I call mine Gerard.

- Let's go find me a heinie to bite.
- Outstanding.
- And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS and pick you out a nice toothbrush.
- I call mine "Gerard."
- That's kind of creepy.

[Sheldon is having a get-together with a new group of friends]
Leonard: You're having people over?
Sheldon: Yes. Must be killing you wondering who. Fine, I'll tell you. Stuart from the comic book store, Barry Kripke from the university, Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack, and TV's Levar Burton.
Leonard: Really? Levar Burton's coming over?
Sheldon: Possible. I tweeted him.

Priya: Sheldon's a bit quirky, isn't he?
Howard: Oh please, that crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rearview mirror.

[Amy and Bernadette want to take Penny out for a girl's night, but Penny doesn't want to]
Amy: You do understand that it will distract you from obsessing over the rich variety of sweet loving that your ex-boyfriend is currently receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.

[Sheldon has come over to Raj's after his get-together didn't go the way he wanted it to]
Sheldon: [knocking on front door] All my friends?
[knocking]
Sheldon: All my friends?
[knocking]
Sheldon: All my friends?
Howard: I think it's like "Beetlejuice"; we said his name too many times.

[Priya has made some homemade chili, albeit with beans, which is counter to the Texan definition of chili - Sheldon is Texan - and the fact is fodder for know-it-all Sheldon]
Priya: Would you like some homemade chili?
Sheldon: Are there beans in it?
Priya: [guardedly] Yes?
Sheldon: Then it's not chili. Real chili has no beans in it, but you're from a foreign land, so your ignorance is forgiven.
Priya: [a bit exasperated] Sheldon, do you want some or not?
Sheldon: Yes, please.
[to Leonard, quietly]
Sheldon: Your girlfriend's a little short-tempered.

Sheldon: [tasting Priya's non-Texan chili] Mm, this is good... whatever it is.

Penny: So, where do you guys want to go dancing?
Bernadette: We were hoping you'd know a place.
Amy: Yes, perhaps somewhere packed tightly with young beautiful bodies, sweating and writhing against each other in a glorious orgy of the flesh.
Penny: Oh yeah, I know that place.