The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 6, Episode 13 Quotes

Sheldon: What if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?
Leonard: Look at us, Sheldon. We're the crazy people!

Amy: Sheldon doesn't believe in brunch. He can't stand being at a table where one person's having an omelet and another person's having a sandwich.

Bernadette: What if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer!
Amy: No, Hulk picked up Thor, *Thor* picked up the hammer.

Sheldon: Just because you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Alright.

- President eisenhower signed the federal aid highway act...
- From his hospital room.
- Wow, that is interesting.
- You learn something new every day.
- GPS: Say, can you name the four state capitals that are not served by the interstate system?
- Ooh, another quiz?
- Yes!

Amy: How can Red Hulk be worthy?
Bernadette: YOU DON'T KNOW HIS LIFE!

Bernadette: What kind of comics do the guys like?
Stuart: Um... a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.
Amy: Okay, well who's the best superhero?
Stuart: Shhhh! You can't ask a question like that in here! You trying to start a rumble?

[Penny, Amy & Bernadette have just entered the Comic Store]
Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in.
[huskily, stroking her hair]
Amy: Hello, boys.
Stuart: Oh. Hey!
[looks around at the customers]
Stuart: Could we stop staring? They're just girls; nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.

- Captain, what are your orders?
- I say we investigate.
- Wait.
- They might be hostile.
- Fine, but set them to stun.
- If we vaporize penny, I'll never find a girlfriend that pretty again.

Penny: [Referring to Amy and Bernadette's argument that if another superhero picks up Thor while he's picking up the hammer, then that superhero is picking up the hammer] Okay, wait. If I pick up a guy at a bar, and then he picks up another girl and we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?
Amy: [Hopefully] Did that actually happen?
Penny: [Avoiding the question] Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

Stuart: Let's see. Well, you got your basic clean good guys, Superman, Spiderman, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Oh, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: As evidence by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

- It's a comic book convention.
- Like pizza or particle accelerators...
- Even the stinky ones, still pretty good.
- Well, you guys have fun.
- I guess I'll see you Sunday.
- Yeah. Oh, hang on a second.
- Okay.
- What was that for?
- To show people when they don't believe me.

[first lines]
Leonard: Hey, will you steam my uniform next?
Sheldon: Yeah, uh, interesting. Do you recall this conversation? "Leonard, want to go halvesies on a steamer?" "No, Sheldon we don't need a steamer." Looks like that rumpled chicken's come home to roost.
Penny: [Comes in] Hi, here are the makeup sponges you asked for.
Leonard: Oh, thanks. I thought I had more.
Penny: [Looks in his makeup case, which he had just opened] Damn, you've got more makeup than I do. You got better makeup than I do.
[Takes something]
Penny: Yeah, I'm borrowing this.
Leonard: [Gently takes it back from her] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, this is my Comic-Con makeup. I love you, but there are some things a man doesn't share with his girlfriend.
Sheldon: That's a wise policy. I once borrowed my sister's makeup for a costume contest, got a terrible case of pinkeye. Yeah, but luckily I was going as a zombie; I won second place.
Penny: I feel like you guys just went to Comic-Con.
Leonard: That was San Diego Comic-Con; this is Bakersfield Comic-Con.
Penny: Is that better?
Leonard: Mm, it's a lot smaller. It's more about the comics books, the way these conventions used to be before they went all Hollywood.
Sheldon: So to answer your question, no, it's not better.
Penny: Well then why are you going?
Sheldon: It's a comic book convention. Like pizza or particle accelerators even the stinky ones, still pretty good.

- No.
- Yes.
- Well, which is it?
- Maybe we missed something.
- Let's read it again.
- You want some tea?
- Good idea. I'll help you.
- Wait, I thought we were reading?
- We are.
- We're just, uh, giving you a head start.

- Nice going.
- What kind of a person steals another person's car in broad daylight?
- What kind of person leaves his keys in the car?
- Thought we agreed it's Koothrappali's fault.
- You're right.
- Nice going.

[stranded in the hot desert with Leonard, Sheldon, and Raj]
Howard: I wish my mom was here. We could all hang out in her shadow.

- "Whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."
- Hold on. Who decides who's worthy?
- Does the hammer decide?
- It can't decide, it's a hammer.
- You said it's a magic hammer!
- Yeah, but it can't make decisions.
- If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
- Okay, if you're gonna start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.

- That assures passing motorists of our mental competence.
- Good idea.
- Why don't you get started on that?
- Come on, let's just start walking.
- There's gotta be a gas station or something nearby.
- What, you think just because you're wearing a captain's uniform you're in charge?
- All right.

- No.
- Yeah, well, luckily, someone in the car does.
- GPS: Recalculating.
- While we 're waiting, do you know which president...
- Signed the interstate highway system act into law?
- The answer coming up in 14 miles.
- None of you will get it. It's eisenhower.

- I'm wielding it.
- Phasers on the borg!
- Charlie's angels!
- Okay, what's next?
- Now let's do some sexy glamour shots.
- I'll set the mood.

Penny: Ah, the best! You have booze with breakfast on a Tuesday you got a problem. You do it on a weekend you got brunch.

Officer: [taking Leonard's police report] Do you need me to call anyone? I'm guessing your moms?
Leonard: Thanks, we've got it covered.
Howard: [entering] Okay, I just talked to my mom.

Amy: [arguing with Penny and Bernadette about a comic book] It says right here on the hammer "Whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."
Bernadette: Well, hold on. Who decides who's worthy? Does the hammer decide?
Amy: [simultaneously with Penny] No.
Penny: Yes.
Amy: It can't decide. It's a hammer.
Penny: You said it's a magic hammer.
Amy: Yeah, but it... it can't make decisions.
Penny: If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
Amy: Okay, if you're gonna start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.

Bernadette: [Amy, Bernadette, and Penny enter the comic store the guys often go to, and every male stops what they're doing and stares at them in shock]
[Obviously uncomfortable]
Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in.
[Then starts walking around, moving her hair from over her ear, then says the next line as if she were a 1940s girl talking to sailors]
Amy: Hello boys.
Stuart: [Comes out of the back room and sees the girls] Oh, hey.
[Then notices all the guys looking at them]
Stuart: Would you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.
Penny: Hey Stuart.
Stuart: Well, what brings you girls here?
Bernadette: We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.
Stuart: Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.
Penny: No, we were wondering why the guys like the stuff so much, so we thought we'd give it a try.
Stuart: [as he speaks the next line, some of the customers start looking at the girls again] Oh ok, well what do you think you might be in to? Superheroes? Fantasy? Graphic novels? Manga?
[Turns on the others without taking a breath]
Stuart: I swear I will turn a hose on you!
[They scatter]
Bernadette: What kind of comics do the guys like?
Stuart: Um, a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.
Amy: Alright, well who's the best superhero?
Stuart: [Frantically] Shhhh! You can't ask a question like that in here? Are you trying to start a rumble?
Penny: Well, what do you recommend?
Stuart: Oh, well um, you got your basic clean-cut good guys, like Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America, then you got your darker "anti-heroes", like Batman, Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Oooo, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: [Matter-of-factly] As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.
Stuart: [Presenting a comic] If I were you, I'd go for Fables #1. The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women.
Penny: [Distracted by another comic] Oooo, Thor! He's hot!
Stuart: Yeah, he kind of is.

[Mrs. Wolowitz is sending a rental car for Howard, Sheldon, Raj, and Leonard after their car gets stolen]
Raj: Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise?
[no one laughs]
Raj: Get it? Enterprise.
[still no one laughs]
Raj: Screw you, that's funny.

[last lines]
GPS: Fun fact. President Eisenhower signed the Federal Aid Highway Act from his hospital room.
Car: Wow. That is interesting.
Car: You learn something new every day.
GPS: Say, can you name the four state capitals that are not served by the Interstate system?
Car: Ooh, another quiz.

Amy: You can't pick something up in outer space. In space, there is no up.
Penny: Oh, yeah? Then how does the sun come up every day?
Amy: Hard to argue with those kind of street smarts.