The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 8, Episode 3 Quotes

Raj: I like how they put a waterfall on centerfield. It really ties everything together.
Penny: Look at you talking sports.

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Howard: What the hell was that?
Raj: I'm heckling you. It's a beloved baseball tradition.
Sheldon: He's right. And considering you're still waiting to be called for a game you played in fifth grade, you probably do suck.

Sheldon: Did you enjoy my lecture?
Amy: No, and neither did our waiter.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but if you're going to serve Cornish game hen, you should either know all about the history of Cornwall, or be prepared to learn it. You can't argue with that.
Amy: I know, I saw a poor, sad man trying to and failing.

Mike: Hey Fruit Loops, what's up?
Howard: Hey Mike, listen, NASA asked me to throw out the first pitch at an Angels game. You got any advice?
Mike: Yeah. Don't do it. What else you up to?
Howard: Why shouldn't I do it?
Mike: There's no upside. If you do well, no one cares. And if you screw up, you're an idiot on YouTube forever.

[Mouths] What?
- Okay. It's not that hard. You just look to where you wanna throw it...
- Step towards where you wanna throw, and throw it.
- That's your help? That's like saying,
- "here's how you fly a plane...
- Get in the airplane, know where you wanna go, and fly it."
- Just throw the ball.
- Let's see what we're working with.

Howard: Even professional pitchers need a rubdown after the game.
Bernadette: If you were throwing an actual ball. You were throwing air at a TV.
Howard: For your information, I also gave Leonard one hell of a high five.

Amy: How about this? You stay for the game, I'll buy you some cotton candy and a bobblehead.
Sheldon: Bobblehead of whom?
Amy: Does it matter?
Sheldon: Not as long as it bobbles.

- To the seeker, beater, chaser and water boy of the third place Griffith park Quidditch team.
- Watching your boyfriend run around with a broomstick between his legs...
- Isn't something you forget.
- Come on. Now, throw one.
- All right, here we go.
- You look like a jackass!
- Cut it out. You're hurting my feelings.
- Now you know why we're not outside.

- I'm a scientist.
- So today's first pitch will be delivered to home plate by science.
- Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you...
- A working prototype of the Mars rover.
- Leonard: Whoa! Raj esh: Wow!
- And here's the wind-up, and the pitch.

- Marriage is scary.
- You're scared, I'm scared.
- But it doesn't make me not want to do it.
- It just makes me want to hold your hand and do it with you.
- Leonard.
- It would make me so happy if you said things like that.
- We got an 8.2. Trust me, you're happy.

Leonard: I've seen you two sit next to each other doing different things.
Sheldon: It's called parallel play.
Leonard: Toddlers do that.
Sheldon: Not as well as we do.

Leonard: A relationship is not something you can quantify.
Sheldon: Everything is quantifiable. This french fry? A seven. Spider-Man? A nine. The number nine? Oddly enough, a four.
Leonard: How ridiculous is he?
Penny: A hundred.

Sheldon: Okay, new plan: we go to Disneyland, play hide-and-seek on Tom Sawyer's Island, and come back in time for the end of the pitch.

- Why is it going so slow?
- Because I'm an idiot who didn't think this through.
- Okay, new plan. We go to Disneyland...
- Play hide-and-seek on Tom Sawyer's island...
- And then come back and see the end of the pitch.

Amy: So, when do you guys plan on getting married?
Penny: Uh, we're not sure, but I want to wait long enough to prove to my mother I'm not pregnant.

- Well, they're doing space day and NASA asked me. I felt like I couldn't say no.
- Okay. If you want, I could help you practice.
- I played a lot of softball growing up.
- Thank you, that would be great.
- While we're at it, maybe we can butch up your run for when you head to the mound.
- What's wrong with the way I run?
- Just kidding. Nothing.

Bernadette: I could give you a few pointers. I played softball.
Howard: That would be great.
Bernadette: And while you're at it, maybe we can work on butching up your run.
Howard: What's wrong with the way I run?
Bernadette: Oh, nothing.
[Mimes a girly run as she exits]

Sheldon: The ranking of relationships in our circle by quality is: me and Amy, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his girlfriend, Penny and Chardonnay, Penny and you.
Leonard: There isn't any ranking and if there were, we wouldn't be at the bottom.
Penny: Yeah, and actually I drink Sauvignon Blanc.
Leonard: That's the part you have a problem with?
Penny: Relax.
Amy: There they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to Sauvignon Blanc.

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Sheldon: He makes a valid point!

Leonard: He's practicing.
Penny: For what?
Howard: The Angels wanted an astronaut to throw out the first pitch, so guess who they called?
Penny: What, you? Really?
Howard: Well, a lot of people who weren't available, but then me!

Raj: So you never played baseball as a kid, not even Little League?
Howard: I was going to, but the day of tryouts, I found my dad's Playboy collection. Threw my arm out.