The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 9, Episode 6 Quotes

Sheldon: He wears glasses, I'm a know-it-all. We're not built for prison.

Leonard: Barry, a team of Swedish scientists is going to do our experiment before we do. Can you lend us some liquid helium?
Barry: Sowwy, but there's a hewium shortage, and I need it for my quantum excitation expewiment.
Leonard: You don't need that much.
Barry: Twue, but if it's successful, I'm planning to have a party with bawwoons.

Stuart: It shows me all the single women in a 5-mile radius who are using the app. If I like the way they look, I hit thumbs up. If I don't, thumbs down.
Bernadette: What would make you give a girl a thumbs down.
Stuart: First time it happens, I will let you know.

- I don't know, seems fair, you can't do it without me.
- Can you give us a minute?
- Take your time.
- I'll walk out backwards for a dramatic effect.
- I don't like being extorted like this.
- Especially by him of all people.
- Me neither, but what other choice do we have?
- I promise this is the last time.

Howard: Can't you just use regular helium?
Leonard: We'd have to go to every Party City in Pasadena.
Howard: [to Raj] Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo.
Raj: Hey! Everyone was still talking about that party on Siete de Mayo.

- They should've used "among," right?
- Or "amongst," if they were feeling whimsically archaic.
- Enough with the chitchat. Are we gonna watch Ernest goes to jail or not?
- Absolutely.
- But don't be surprised if this movie sets you on the straight and narrow.
- I am open to change.

- Ooh! We should find a nice latino, really round us out.
- I wanna try.
- Uh, excuse me, can I have my phone back?
- Yeah, hang on. I'm trying to find you the next great love of your life.
- The man who will father your children.
- Okay, yes or no on white guy with dreadlocks.

Leonard: You can trust us, we're respected scientists.
Sheldon: Well, he is. I'm a wedding planner who can't find love himself.

- If the shoe was on the other foot, would you do this for me?
- Yes.
- Not a chance.
- What are you doing?
- He said, "be honest," so I was honest.
- Didn't your mother tell you?
- It's the best policy.
- So, what do you say?
- Hell, no.
- He could have softened the blow.

Barry: Be honest, if the shoe were on the other foot, would you do the same for me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Not a chance. Sorry, but he said to be honest, and mother always said that honesty is the best policy.

Sheldon: Well, the Swedes might beat us, but at least we won't get gang-noogied in prison.
Leonard: Is "Ernest Goes to Jail" the only prison movie you've seen?
Sheldon: It scared me straight, Leonard.