The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 9, Episode 9 Quotes

Elon: Someone didn't finish their pumpkin pie. Wanna share?
Howard: A half-eaten pumpkin pie in a soup kitchen with Elon Musk? You bet I do!

Leonard: So how did it go with Amy?
Sheldon: Fine. It's comforting to know that Amy and I can still be friends.
Penny: That's good. I could never be friends with any of my exes.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sure you and Leonard can pull it off.

Howard: So we don't even get to be up front?
Bernadette: What does it matter?
Howard: I was hoping some little kid would walk up and say "Please, sir. May I have some more?"
Raj: We're in a soup kitchen, not a production of Oliver.
Howard: It's not like I'm expecting them to sing.

- I think I need to just be your friend.
- Okay. I understand.
Sheldon: Good.
- Oh, I watched a video of the hagfish producing mucus, so I'm going to change my answer and eat spongebob.
[Shakily] Okay, sure.

Howard: What are you doing here?
Elon: I'm washing dishes. Well, I was on the turkey line, but I got demoted for being too generous with the gravy.

Sheldon: If there was a list of things that make me more comfortable, this list would be at the top of it.

- I am not putting that on the Internet!
- I don't want people to see this.
- I don't want to see it!
[Chuckles] You don't want people to see what, huh? A little bit of this?
- Some of this?
- And since it's Thanksgiving, an extra helping of this.
- Happy thanks...

Sheldon: Amy, I excel at a great many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think we should just stay friends.

Howard: I'd really want to go to Mars, assuming I can bring my wife. She hardly takes up any room. She's basically a carry-on.

Raj: This reminds me of home.
Emily: You worked at a kitchen?
Raj: I was in India. It was humid and smelled funny.

Penny: Who's my favorite Spice Girl?
Leonard: Baby.
Penny: Who's my favorite member of N*SYNC?
Leonard: Justin.
Penny: Who's my favorite Backstreet Boy?
Leonard: Nice try, it's N*SYNC forever.

- But we can't. Mmm-hmm.
- Poor us.
- And raj and I are volunteering at the soup kitchen feeding food to the homeless.
- Oh, Howard, what about you?
- Oh, ican't, I'm going to the soup kitchen, too.
- You said that sounded like the worst thing ever.
- If you can't support me when I'm lying, why are we married?

[Opening lines]
Raj: Have you guys seen this feature that lets you talk to Siri without pressing any buttons? Hey, Siri. What time is it?
Siri: The time is 6:37 p.m.
Howard: So now anyone can control your phone? Hey, Siri. Show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
Raj: Nice try. It only recognizes my voice.
Howard: Oh.
[Imitates Raj's accent]
Howard: Hey, Siri. Show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
Raj: I don't sound like that.
Siri: Here are some images of naked grandma butts.

Penny: Wow, look at us. Our first Thanksgiving together as husband and wife.
Leonard: Yeah. I feel so grown up.
Penny: Honey, you are grown up.
Leonard: How many adults do you know that have Mr. Spock oven mitts?