The Best The Good Place, Season 4, Episode 9 Quotes

Michael: [getting ready to erase Chidi's memories] You sure you want to do this?
Chidi: I finally make up my mind about one damn thing and you try to talk me out of it?

[last lines]
Chidi: Hey, uh, Janet? Can I have my note, please?
Janet: If you know that you wrote a note, then you remember what it says.
Chidi: I do, uh, but I'd still like to see it again, please. I think it might be some of the best writing I've ever done.
[Janet returns Chidi's note; Chidi unfolds it, reads it silently, and smiles]
Chidi's: There is no "answer". But Eleanor is the answer.

- Uh, can I have, uh, a pen and some paper?
- I don't know if I'll see you again, or what I'll remember if I do, but if we do cross paths again...
- Sometime, somewhere...
- Can you give this back to me?
- Of course.

Michael: If soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they get to work building a relationship.

Chidi: Can I ask you a question? Soulmates aren't... real, are they?
Michael: Chidi, in all honesty, I don't know. But I don't think so. I knew what you expected to find when you got here: answers. Also, if I recall from your file, a magic blackboard?
Chidi: One that anticipates your lesson flow. That's the dream.
Michael: But mostly you wanted answers, the soulmate one in particular. So I used it to torture you... which, again, sorry.
[beat]
Michael: If soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship. Like your parents. They didn't magically stay together because you proved they should.
Chidi: [shakes his head] It wasn't my logic or my presentation, it was... the feeling they got watching me, this scared little kid telling them that he needed them.
Michael: And it was also what you made them remember: they loved each other. Sometimes people forget. You reminded them of what they already had. It convinced them to go to counseling.
Chidi: [slight laugh] I never knew they went to counseling.
Michael: Yeah, kids are idiots. If they knew half the stuff their folks were up to, they'd lose their minds.

- Here, I saved this from my funeral.
- It's called a duval ditchwater.
- It's midori, coffee-mate, and ditch water.
- I'll get you a Margarita.
- Yeah, that sounds better.
- It's not. Seriously, try this.
- Okay, here we go...
- Oh...

Professor: The greatest works of moral philosophy are emotional. They make an argument about how the world is and ought to be. There is a great mind at work in here. But where is the heart? Where are the guts?

- Do you have any of those?
- Of course I have feelings.
- I... I have strong feelings for... for you and... and what we have, and right now,
- I will show you...
- How kant refuted most of hume's central theses.
- Oh, my god. _ he-...

Young: Every problem has an answer. If you just read enough books and think hard enough, you can figure out the answer to any question.
Young: I know you're really smart, but that sounds wrong.

Chidi: I understand. I do. So I'm going to go home and compose a short paper for you... arguing that I should continue working on this longer paper.
Professor: [the professor pushes Chidi out of his office] Shut up!

Chidi: Turns out life isn't just a puzzle to be solved one time and it's done. You wake up every day and you solve it again.
Michael: [wryly] Terribly inefficient.
Chidi: What a time to learn.

Esmeralda: [playing charades] Blood. Seas of blood. Enemies. 1000 years of darkness.
Chidi: Uh... nightmares.
Esmeralda: Blood. Ennui. Lamenting the unanswerable passage of time! Fire and blood!
[buzzer sounds]
Esmeralda: Ugh, you fool! It was "birthday parties".
Chidi: [frowns] Birthday parties?
Esmeralda: These trivialities demean me. I must away and tend to my ravens.

- Soul mate? Yes.
- Every person in the good place has one perfect match.
- In an hour, come on by the little house that looks like a face and get the answer to your ultimate question.
- Her name's Eleanor.

Chidi: So, what do you think?
Professor: I think it's 3,600 pages. I have a job, Chidi. I have a family. Until I had to read this, I had a will to live. This work is an insane, entangled web of inscrutability!
Chidi: In the fun, grad students will analyze this for centuries way?
Professor: No, in the Unabomber way.

- that can just be solved one time and... and it's done.
- You wake up every day and you solve it again.
- Terribly inefficient.
- Wow, what a time to learn.
- Can you give me a second?