The Best The Office, Season 9, Episode 8 Quotes

Trevor: Sandwich delivery for Oscar Martinez.
Kevin: I... am... Oscar Martinez.

Pete: One of my jobs is to input customer complaints into the computer. And when they're in, I fill out one of these cards. But the information's already on the computer, so... Why am I filling out the card? I asked Andy, and he told me to "chillax," and then went away on a big long boat ride. So here we are! Don't give me a pointless office chose because I will build a little paper house. Fight the power.

- And then went away on a big, long boat ride.
- So here we are.
- Don't give me a pointless office chore, because I will build a little paper house.
- Fight the power.
- Meet me in the old place.
- Five minutes. I need you!

Dwight: You're not stupid. Jazz is stupid.
Angela: Jazz is stupid. If they'd just play the right notes.

- You have any idea how many guns
- Trevor has had stolen from him?
- Now I keep it in a safe.
- A good safe?
- You tell me.
- Wow!

Nellie: This next one goes to Darryl for pocket-dialing a customer while having sex.
Nellie: Oh, you salty dog!
Darryl: Well, you know, what can I say? A playa's gotta play.
Pete: There you go.
Darryl: [to the camera crew] Actually, that was the sound of me eating spaghetti, but I'm a let them think the other thing.

Pam: Hello, this is Pam Halpert. I'm calling from Dunder Mifflin, yes your paper provider, and I just wanted to say... Your Mama is so fat, when she wears red, people sey, "Hey Kool-Aid". Yeah, your Mama's fat. This is Pam Halpert.

- I'll have the surf and turf, with a side order of lobster.
- Actually the surf and turf does come with lobster.
- Not enough lobster. Side order.
- How much wine do you have?
- I brought you a cookie.
- Thanks, Oscar, you're such an angel.

Dwight: I'm gonna use SMS text.
Angela: Okay.

- Thank you.
- No, thank you, Angela.
- She doesn't know.
- I shouldn't be surprised.
- This is a woman who married a man who is obviously a homosexual.
- Basically she has her head in the sand.
- In a way I feel sorry for her. I guess the universe rewards true love.

Pam: Do you think Kevin cares what other people think about him? Or Creed or Meredith? Oh my gosh! These are my role models now.

Pete: Our crowning complaint card comes to us thanks to Pam Halpert, for insulting a client's recently deceases mother...
Pam: I did not know that.
Pete: A woman who struggled with obesity all her life.
Pam: I'm so sorry.