The Best You, Season 3, Episode 8 Quotes

- Holy fucking shit.
- I think that was the best sex we've ever had.
Joe: Yes, it was.
- The spark our marriage needed doesn't come from swinging.
- Our love language is violence.

- Actually, I probably need it tonight.
- Okay. Down the hatch.
- Thattaboy.
- Now... allow me to introduce you to my ritual for a night like tonight.

- Cary, let's go back inside.
- We can talk about this.
- This is it. I never see you again.
- I get impaled, Love goes to prison.
- Henry grows up in the system.
- No.

- Stupid fun, really.
- Yeah, you and your wife, Love.
- Just having fun.
- Yeah, again,
- I apologize if it disturbed you.
- We were saying we should have you over for dinner sometime soon.
- Yeah, real busy with work. But sometime.
- Sometime.

- Yeah.
- Now... where were we?
Joe: I just can't tell.
- Something wrong?
- Oh, I'm great.
- Why don't we get on the bed?

- Maybe they didn't hear anything.
- We have to know for sure.
- Okay, well,
- Sherry has this tell when she's lying, she scratches her arm.
- I'll follow your lead.
- Okay.

- Go.
- Hey, Sherry.

- -Our marriage is completely one-sided.
- -That is absurd.
- You made me kill her.
- In addition to being mother of the fucking year,
- I had to run interference on one of your fucking patterns!
- -I killed Natalie for you!
- -Shut... up.

- Oh, ho-ho-ho.
- Oh, Marienne.
- You are the only one who could make whatever's about to happen worthwhile.
- It's okay, you can look at it.
- Look at my dick.
- Welcome to the real party, brother.

- And if you feel too overwhelmed, just use the safe word: Hakuna matata.
- Disney should sue these people.
- Okay. No more talk. Let's dance.
- Love?
- Hey, you.

- Is there something wrong?
- Are you okay with this?
- More than okay.
Joe: I'm embarrassed for us.

- Oh, okay, so this is really happening.
- Uh-Mm. Ow.
- Watch.

- So safe.
- Solid.
- Do you think we're solid?
- I think we're solid.
- -I mean, if you think we are...
- -Yeah.
- You'll call the sitter? I'll text Sherry.
- -Okay.
- -Okay.

- Well, that happened.
- -You killed it.
- -You were so great.
- -Yeah?
- -Yeah. Flawless, unimpeachable.
- Dare I say, unironically, mother of the year.
- I'm so glad you were here. Both of you.
- Thank you.

- Um...
- Yeah, thank you. Uh--
Joe: That was hope.
- The least I can do... is hasten the end of my marriage.

- Well, it's go time.
- Oh, welcome back.
- I missed you.
Joe: Someone's loose.
- -Are you okay? You still seem tense.
- -You think?
- -I'm good. No, I'm good.
- -He's just a little shy.

- Yeah, I'm okay. What about--?
- Oh, they're-They're just waking up.
- Hey.
- We're a team, okay?
- Till death do us part.
Joe: Clearly, my plan has backfired.
- My wife seems more into me than ever.

- at my hearing?
- Of course. You're an incredible asset to the library.
- Cool. Great. Thanks.
- But I actually need you to play up the whole kick-ass mom thing.
- I will character witness the motherly living shit out of you.
- Thank you.

- I'm leaving out the part where if your marriage isn't on rock-solid footing, swinging is all but guaranteed to nuke it, aka the dream.
- Still, after my conversation with Dottie about the fate of Love's first husband,
- I need to tread lightly.
- Be game but not too. Make it all her idea.

- Okay.
- But I'll figure it out.
- I will.
- Okay.
- You're the best.
- Fucking creep show.

- -Yeah. Yeah.
- -Yeah. Yeah, go.
- But I don't want Love,
- I don't want Sherry.
- I don't want any of this.
- All I want is you.
- There you are.
- There you are.
- I knew you'd come.

Joe: I'd give anything to.
- Joe, where the fuck are you, brother?
- I wish I could, but...
- No, no, no. It's okay.
- No, you've actually-You've done enough.
- Thanks for answering, Goldberg.

- She's not a boring, tired suburban mom.
- She's fun. Wild.
- Still the Love Quinn who flirts with strangers in the produce section.
- Which is why I'm going to satisfy her as only someone who knows her can.
- Safe. Reliable.
- We can do anything together.

- -Did you have fun? All right.
- -Mm-hm.
- Henry's down for the night.
- Hey.
- Come to bed.
Joe: Mm. Trying to reignite the spark, and my move here is make it not so easy.

Joe: Huh. The burbs are even more miserable than I thought.
- Um-I, um...
- Aw, damn you.
- Oh, yeah, those look worth fucking my glycemic variability for.
- Okay. Well...
- -Mm.
- -Here you go.

- I don't know what you think you heard...
- But we're...
- There you go.
- It's gonna end badly for Love too.
- Sherry knows Krav Maga.
- Go to sleep, buddy.

- There's the Love I remember, free, open.
Joe: I couldn't be happier for--
- Oh, there it is. Compersion.
- Come on. I wanna show you what I set up in the bedroom.
Joe: And I'm officially terrified.

Sherry: Let me go!
- No! No, please! No! God!
Joe: That does not sound good.
- He could be at Matthew's by now.
- Guess I'm gonna use Cary's gift from the hunting trip after all.

- -Really? That's great.
- -Yeah. I'm sorry.
- I mean, I really-I am hungry.
- Well, no, no, that's great.
- I'll bring you something back.
- What do you want? Al pastor?
- Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. Thanks, Dad.
- Sure.

- So glad you're here.
- What the fuck is happening?

- Big boy. [grunts]
- Yes.