30 Best Casualty Quotes

Barbara: You're manipulative, stubborn and selfish!
Ewart: Not all at once.

Charlie: It's all very well saying the goldfish stole your dentures Doris, but unless we got fingerprints the D.A. ain't got a case now do we? Sitting by the pond all night isn't going to help is it? What you want is to get yourself a garden gnome. That's the fella for your goldfish.

[Luke and Woody get in Maggie's way as she is about to give a defibrillating shock to a patient]
Maggie: Come on! Move or die!

Harry: What part of "one last chance" do you not understand?
Simon: I was talking to my colleague!
Harry: Well she must have trouble hearing 'cos the last thing I heard you were talking to her through her mouth in the staff room!

Paige: Well, with Stevie away, I haven't got anyone...
[They see Stevie at the other side of the treatment area]
Robyn: You've got to stop doing that.

Sean: I love you. With all my feet.

Faith: Oh! You're back!
Stevie: Yeah. Unless I died and you're the only one who can see me.

Dylan: [On a board meeting] Well, you're very welcome to go instead if you want.
Stevie: Yeah, I'd love that, but I have plans to stick a fork in my eyes.

[Selena throws Bex against a wall after Bex, unknowingly, slept with Selina's husband]
Selena: You and me... we've got business.
Bex: Look I told you - I had no idea! I am sorry, it's not going to happen again!
Selena: I don't care about what you do with him. You can keep him. All I care about is me. Now I've just started here and I am not about to be made a laughing stock by some stupid little slapper like you! Do you understand me?
Bex: Yes.
Selena: You mention one word of you and him to anyone - and your life will not be worth living! Do you understand me again? Rebecca?
Bex: Yes.
[Selena walks off]

[a flat screen for tracking patients' waiting times has just been delivered to the department]
Maggie: What on earth is that for?
Bruno: Action replays of your greatest life-saving moments. I love short films.
Maggie: I see your humour implant didn't take, then.

Harry: Nathan just made an interesting point.
Selena: There's a first time for everything.

[Fletch is putting up posters advertising a memorial service for Jac Naylor who had died a few days earlier]
Charlie: I heard. I was going to come and find you. I know you were close.
Adrian: Well, as close as she'd let anyone get. You know Jac, she never did emotion. Not even at the end. They broke the mould with that one.
Charlie: They certainly did. End of an era.
Adrian: Yeah. Does feel like that. But since it's happened, we've been inundated with cards and flowers, all from people that she helped.
Charlie: Yeah. What's that saying... He who saves one life... *She* who saves one life saves the world. Saved a lot of lives.
Adrian: Yeah, she did. There's a memorial.
Charlie: I'll be there.
Adrian: Great. Well, it's good to see you, Charlie.
Charlie: You too.

Charlie: That - out!
Frank: That's my ferret
Charlie: I can see at a glance it's a ferret and ferrets are strictly not allowed so OUT
Frank: You don't understand, this ain't just any old ferret this is my ferret, Freddie the Ferret, we're inseparable
Charlie: Well you go with him!

Maggie: [referring to Nathan] I bet he's a John Major.
Selena: What do you mean?
Maggie: He tucks his shirt into his pants!

Cynthia: [referring to a woman who has been bothering the men in the department all day] She's probably just lonely.
Greg: Or she needs her chimney swept

Donna: Does it make me a bad feminist if I wish there was someone at home to hug me and tell me everything was going to be all right?
Stevie: I don't like taking the bins out. I get it.

Kuba: Susie, the Gents is out of bounds. Kaput.
Susie: Have you taken the 'broken leg' to x-ray?
Kuba: No, because I am the plumber, the janitor, the porter, the tea maker, the milk buyer.
Susie: And you're also boring.

Barney: [Chloe has just bought a houseboat] So this boat, what's it called?
Chloe: Not it - she! It's called Kestrel... ain't that lovely?

Charlie: Now leave me alone or I'll call Security.
Colin: I *am* Security.
Charlie: Then kindly throw yourself out.

Albert: What happened to you, friend?
Biker: Fell off my bike
Albert: Pushbike?
Biker: Motor bike
Albert: That's cos you're a sinner, you haven't found Jesus. You're rejecting Him - that's why you came off. If you'd had Jesus in your life you'd have stayed on
Biker: Do what?
Albert: You've got to face reality, friend - you're a sinner. Repent before it's too late
Biker: How would you like a smack in the gob?

Maggie: Harry, have you got a minute? I could do with a second opinion on these results.
Harry: [patronisingly] My pleasure. I'm always happy to offer my expert advice.
Maggie: Er, just your opinion. I've got the expert bit covered, thank you.

Megan: You know she's been having sex for two years and she's still a virgin.

Patient: [Young Arab] Allah be Praised.
Nurse: Allah had nothing to do with it.

Nina: I could kill Ellen for taking out a loan with a psychopath...
John: It wouldn't be worth it - unless we could sell her body for scrap!

Barbara: I can't be bothered with any of the social rituals, I haven't got the energy.
Charlie: Social rituals?
Barbara: Yeah, like do sit down, would you like a cup of coffee, that sort of thing. The coffee is in the kitchen and you make it.
[pause]
Barbara: The bed's in the bedroom; you'll probably have to make that too.
Charlie: Anything else?

Iain: Where's the pain, Tommy?
Tommy: Where the blood's coming out.

Amy: Charlie, you know that motel by the bypass?
Charlie: Yes
Amy: Well the managers a friend of mine...
Charlie: And?
Amy: Well, I thought it might be good for a room...
Chloe: [pulling a face] Ooooooh!
Amy: Not for us! For the Devern family!
Charlie: Shame, I thought my luck had changed there...

Porter: If you're going through Hell, keep going.

Tess: There's no I in team.
John: No, but there's a me if you look close enough.

Sean: Get on the train.
Tina: It's so unfair.
Sean: This may be our last chance. Come on, get on.
Tina: Marry me.
Sean: What?
Tina: You heard, marry me.
Sean: Shut up and get on the train.
Tina: Well?
Sean: Look, get on the train.
Tina: Just say you'll marry me.
Sean: Tina, I'm going to London, in two days I fly to Australia, I fly in two days, two days!
Tina: Huh?
Sean: You know you're making this so much harder?
Tina: You're leaving me. I'm hardly going to make it easy for you.
Sean: You're the only thing I'll miss.
Tina: Is that a yes?