150 Best Alexander Skarsgård Quotes

Amleth: [presented the preserved head of Heimir] Old friend, know that I will avenge you too.
He: Alas you will have to talk to me. Fjölnir took his ears too.

Eric: TruBlood, it keeps you alive, but it will bore you to death.

Nathan: [Kong doesn't go into the Hollow Earth entrance] It's not working.
Ilene: Just wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Nathan: What if she tells him there are others down there like him.
Ilene: But you don't know that.
Nathan: We lost our entire fleet getting here. There's no way back for him. And he can't survive here.
Ilene: All right. All right.
[to Jia]
Ilene: Hey.
[In sign language]
Ilene: Tell him... There could be more like him... Inside
Jia: Family?
Ilene: I don't know. I hope so.
Jia: [to Kong bin sign language about the Hollow Earth] Your family might be down there.
[Kong goes through the entrance]

Seeress: [Amleth is drawn into the plundered temple of the Slavs] Prowling shadow, slayer of my people, hide! Even tho your brothers stole my eyes I see you.
Amleth: I am no one's brother.
Seeress: It is not enough to be the man that never cries, prince Amleth. The prince that turned from his fate. A beast that care for not! A beast that brings tears from from the eyes of man! Now remember for whom you shed your last teardrop!

[Pam walks in and interrupts Eric and Sookie]
Eric: What?
Pam: Blah blah vampire emergency, blah

Eric: Russell will not stop killing. What if the human public learns of it?
Nan: That's why you're going to take care of it. Quietly, discreetly, and most important of all, completely off the books. You wanted revenge, it's yours.
Eric: What resources are you gonna give me?
Nan: None. We're not getting near it.
Eric: How do you expect me to kill him? He's three times my age.
Nan: Listen, you whiny little bitch. The only link between Sophie-Anne, Russell and the Magister is you. You brought us this steaming pile of shit and you're going to make it go away. Bring me his fangs, or I will have yours.

Coby: [to Eric] Can we see your fangs?
Eric: [draws his fangs as Lisa flinches] Don't you like vampires, little girl?
Sam: [chafed] Eric!
Lisa: Our almost step-dad hated vampires, but we don't.
Coby: He went on a vacation with Jesus.
Pam: [miffed] You make me so happy I never had any of you.
Eric: Oh come on, Pam. They're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.

Eric: [watching Ginger clean up what's left of LongShadow] When Ginger is finished, glamour her for me.
Pam: Are you sure? She's been glamoured one too many times already. Who's knows how much of her is left.
Eric: It's either that or turn her. You want her?
Pam: Please! I'm not that desperate. Glamour it is.
Eric: [satisfied] Excellent.

Nan: The downstairs is clean.
Eric: Well, I told you there was nothing.
Nan: It's been wiped.
Eric: Well, I'm a Virgo. I like to be neat.

Yvetta: You're giving her everything? You promised to take care of me!
Eric: I promised you a job and good sex. That is all.
Yvetta: So I mean nothing to you?
Eric: Less than nothing, you gold-digging whore!
[Yvetta storms out]
Pam: You can be a cold-hearted bastard.

Randall: You can still serve me.
Dayna: Never.
Randall: 'Never' is a long time.

Russell: The real question is: Can I trust you? You turned on your own queen. And now that I've freed your feisty little ward how do I know you won't sell me out as well?
Eric: Because I have been searching for you for a thousand years.
[Slightly ominous pause]
Eric: A true leader. One strong enough to unite us all. I believed my maker, Godric, was such a vampire, but he was weak. He succumbed to his humanity, and it killed him. Dispatching the Magister, that proved without a doubt that my search... It has finally ended.
Russell: That was rash and foolish.
Eric: It was brave and uncompromising. Vampires have yearned for someone to stand up, to the tyranny of the Authority for centuries. Just give me the chance. And I will show you just how deep my loyalty runs.

Amleth: The all-father Odin will vanquish your god of erections. Fear him.

Randall: I can fix you, Nicky boy, and all I ask in return is for you to worship the ground I walk on.

Eric: Since you like humans so much, I think you would want to protect them. The vampires here, they're like cowboys, if they don't get Godric back, they'll want justice. They'll start attacking people.
Bill: Open aggression against humans? That's insane.
Eric: Well, it's Texas.

Sookie: Why are you even here? I thought you had other things to deal with.
Eric: Yeah, I do, and I need to think. So please don't take this the wrong way, but shut up.
Sookie: Eric, please, I'm begging you - -
[Eric covers her mouth]
Eric: Thank you.

Eric: [to Pam] Your lack of sentiment has always been your most admirable quality. Do not disappoint me now.

Eric: Why should I help you... shifter?
Sam: Because I need 'your' help. We need it and hopefully some day I might be able to give you something you need.
Eric: Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse?
Sam: No.
Eric: Well that's a shame. That would be a tribute I would not soon forget.
Sam: [irate] I'm not here to give you tribute, Eric.
Eric: No, you're here to request my help based on a hypothetical future in which you return the favor... But you are known not to be to friendly towards those like me. Why should I trust you?
Sam: Because until somebody starts trusting somebody, we're all single targets just right for the picking.

Sookie: [after his flashback] You and Godric were in the SS?
Eric: We posed as what would ever help us in our search.
Sookie: But your were hunting Nazi werewolves?
Eric: The symbol is runic. This pack dates back a lot further than the Nazi party.
Sookie: So they're not Nazis?
Eric: Oh, they're much more than that. These are not ordinary werewolves. They're organized, well funded and highly trained. They're fuelled by vampire blood.
Sookie: Why didn't you tell me this last night?
Eric: Bigger question is, why am I risking everything to tell you now? My loyalty is not to Bill. In fact it would be advantageous for me in numerous ways if he were never found. But...
Sookie: But?
Eric: Now they're coming for you and... I owe you.
Sookie: And you said you were risking everything to tell me. What does that mean?
Eric: The goal tonight was to keep you out of danger, not put you in more of it.
[gets up and walks to the door]
Sookie: Eric, you can't just say something like that, then-then leave.
Eric: Oh, I'm not leaving. You're going to invite me in, so I can protect you or have passionate primal sex with you... how about both?
Sookie: You're not going to distract me by talking nasty.
Eric: I already have. So... are you going to invite me in?
Sookie: I'm still Bill's.
Eric: [looking down at the ring] So you are.

Sookie: [about the symbol] It's stands for Operation Werewolf. Some kind of secret Nazi commando force from World War II.
Eric: And you found this branded on a dead man's neck?
Sookie: Bill summoned Jessica there. I think he was trying to show us who kidnapped him.
Jessica: Yeah, Nazi werewolves!
Sookie: That dead man was strong and fast enough to take Bill. I was hoping you could tell us more.
Eric: Never seen it before. Sorry.
Sookie: Why do I get the feeling you're blowing me off?

Lafayette: Why do you want to give me your blood?
Eric: I like you.
Lafayette: Bullshit. You want to be able to keep track of me. Why?
Eric: You obviously mean something to Sookie. And what Sookie finds meaningful, I find curious. You really have no choice, Lafayette. You know it.

Eric: How long have you been together?
Talbot: Uh, just shy of 700 years. Although sometimes it feels like 7 million.

Bill: [to Sookie as she helps Eric] What are you doing?
Sookie: [spitting out a bullet] I sucked silver out of Eric's chest to save his life, even though I really didn't want to.
Eric: ...She was superb.
Bill: Eric was in no danger.
Sookie: W-what?
Eric: A tiny falsehood.
Bill: He was already healing. The bullets would've pushed themselves out. This way he's... forced you to drink his blood.
Sookie: No! No! No!
[getting to her feet]
Bill: You're connected. He'll be able to sense your emotions.
Sookie: [to Eric] You big lying a-hole.
Eric: Bill, I think you're right. I think I can sense her emotions... sweet.
Sookie: [to Eric] I'll never do anything for you again! Monster!
Bill: [to Sookie] It's not your fault.
Eric: I think I'm gonna cry.

Eric: [as they are leaving] I enjoyed meeting you, Miss Stackhouse. You will come again.

Michael: You're not even looking!
Justine: I can see it's not lookin' good.

Walter: What really went wrong on your brother's mission?
Nathan: When they tried to enter, they had a gravitational inversion; the whole planet's gravity reversed for a split second: they were crushed in an instant.

Eric: [in Swedish] Vår lilla djurpark börjar växa till sig.
[Our little zoo is starting to grow]
Pam: Jag vet.
[I know]

Eric: [about Pam] She is extremely lazy, but loyal. How's yours? Jessica?
Bill: Petulant. Dangerous. Afraid.
Eric: I'm glad to see you two are bonding

Amleth: Olga.
Olga of the Birch Forest: You found me.
- Were you lost?
- Only if you were searching for me.

Sookie: Tell me where I can find Lorena? If you don't have him, she does.
Eric: Solid theory. But given the tenure of your last run-in with Ms. Krasiki, I think it's better if I delt with her instead.
Sookie: How do I know if you will?
Eric: Because if Bill was in fact kidnapped, by human or vampire, I am duty bound as sheriff in the area in which he resides to find him... even if I do want what is his.

John: The Tekes say an elephant's eyes speak the greatest language. Who else can make you feel so much without a word?

Eric: If you have any silver on you now would be the time to reveal it.
Lafayette: Now way! I ain't that stupid!
Eric: Yes, you are.
[swiping his mouth, looking at his hand]
Eric: Is there blood in my hair?
Lafayette: What?
Eric: Is there blood in my hair?
Lafayette: I... I don't know. I can't see in this light.
Eric: [goes over quickly] How about now?
Lafayette: [shaking] Y... yeah t... there's a little bit of blood in there, yeah.
Eric: This is bad. Pam is going to kill me.
Lafayette: Who the fuck is Pam?
Eric: Do you want to meet her?
Lafayette: No. No, I'm good.
Eric: We'll you're going to.
[takes the chain from the collar]
Lafayette: Where you taking me?
Eric: To find out what you know. I wouldn't try anything rash if I were you. I'm still hungry.

Eric: [chained in silver] I... I offer myself in exchange for Godric's freedom and the girl's as well.
Steve: That's noble, but she's just as culpable as you are. She's a traitor to her race. The human race. She hardly deserves mercy. Maybe we should tie her to you so you could meet the sun together.
Bill: [charging in] Sookie!
Steve: [holding a gun to Sookie's head] One more step, vampire and the girl dies.
Bill: If you shoot her, everyone here will die. Let her go, now!
Steve: [to Sookie] Honestly, what do they see in you?

Randall: I'm not a doctor but I played one on TV.

Sophie: You know there's a maenad in Renard parish.
Eric: Yes. That is the reason I came to see you, your majesty.
Sophie: I wouldn't get involved if I were you. Stick to what you're good at. I gave William Compton a few bits of hand-me-down folklore that accumulated over the centuries. But who knows what's gospel or gorilla shit... You know, I think he's monogamous with his human.
Eric: He is in love with her, yes.
Sophie: He is? Well, of course. He would be with her. You probably are too.
Eric: [almost reluctant] I do not love humans.
Sophie: She's not entirely human. Have you tasted her?
Eric: Sadly, no.
Sophie: Don't, ever. One vampire falling in love is bad enough.
Eric: Yes. Bill Compton certainly has a knack for finding trouble.
Sophie: For instance, how does he know I'm having you sell vampire blood?
[when he says nothing]
Sophie: Guards hear everything.
Eric: Your majesty, I'm sorry. There's no way he could...
Sophie: That is really bad.
Eric: He does not know you are supplying it.
Sophie: [jumping him] He better not! I'm holding you responsible.

Nan: You wanna lose your area, Viking?
Eric: You don't have that kind of power.
Nan: Hey, I'm on TV. Try me.

Amleth: Hate is all I've ever know. I wish I could be free of it.

Bill: [searching inside the bombed home] Sookie! Sookie!
Sookie: [on the floor, under Eric] Bill?
Eric: [weakly] I covered her. She's only stunned. Get the humans.

- Northman.
Amleth: What say you, spell-speaker?
- You wish to be a slave, hide your cunning.
- Show the Shepherd, you are a sheep.
- I'll show the Shepherd his death.

Eric: Russell Edgington was maybe the oldest and strongest vampire on the planet, before he eviscerated a newsman live on TV. Now he's also the craziest, and his rage is directed at me.

Pam: [after she is freed] You can dish it out but you sure can't take it, can you Magister?
Eric: Let's see how this plays out, Pam. You can always taunt later.

Eric: [looking around Merlotte's] Wow. This place is even more depressing than I thought it'd be.

Sookie: [During Sookie's Dream] There's love in you.
Eric: Only for Sookie.

Eric: Perhaps I'll grow on you
Sookie: I'd prefer cancer

Donald: Mr. Core here, was called by your wife. He's a writer. He studies wolves. He was the last person to see her. He's been a big help to us so far. So, we asked him to be here in case you had any questions.
Vernon: Can you raise the dead?
Russell: No, sir.
Vernon: Then I have no questions for you.

Nathan: We need Kong to find that power source. The world needs him.

Eric: You killed a vampire, Bill. For a human. What are we gonna do about this?
Bill: What do you have in mind?
Eric: I'll take the girl.
Bill: No!
[long pause]
Bill: You can have anyone you want. Why do you want her?
Eric: Why do *you* want her? You're not in love with her, are you?
Bill: [incensed] Sookie must be protected.
Eric: Now, that sounds like an edict. But it couldn't be, because I would know about that. Admit it. You love her.
Bill: If I hadn't done what I did, would you have let his disloyalty stand?
Eric: Whatever I did to Long Shadow I would not have done in front of witnesses. Especially not vampire witnesses. Not smart, Bill. Not smart at all.

Eric: I admire you,, Bill, it takes a real vampire to admit he cannot protect his human.
Bill: And it takes a true monster to not care about anyone or anything other than himself.
Eric: I care about others.
Bill: You care about Godric. You had no obligations to Dallas or Texas. This is personal for you, why?

Amleth: Why speak you my fortune, witch?
Seeress: For where your path of ashes ends, another will begin her journey. A maiden king.

Pam: [to an hysterical Ginger] Ginger, enough!
Eric: Thank you.

Queen: When we do find the vampire responsible, how will you punish him?
Eric: Or her?
Queen: And will it be in public?
Magister: Of course when one who is proven guilty of such a crime must be made an example of. That kind of moral anarchy can not be allowed.

Eric: If I want Sookie, I can simply take her.

Magister: Trouble abounds in your fair state.
Eric: Tell me.
Magister: It would seem your idyllic little home is competing to become the V capital of the world.
Queen: Can you believe it? I am so embarrassed. Naturally I told the Magister that you were the only vampire in my kingdom that I could trust with this.
Eric: Anything I can do to be of service.
Magister: Our blood is sacred. Wasting it on any thing but procreation is blasphemy.
Queen: Madness.
Eric: Desecration.
Magister: Have you noticed an uptake is users in your neck of the woods? Maybe even here in your club?
Eric: I haven't. No.
Magister: See that surpises me. Because every other sheriff to whom I have spoken to has. The amounts are so great in fact, we can only assume a vampire is responsible.
Queen: An act of self loathing so shameful that who ever is responsible should fall on his own stake.
Eric: Respectfully, Magister, I'm not sure I follow your logic.
Magister: If your average run-of-the-mill drainers were behind this, it would stand to reason that said drainers would need vampires to drain; which means there would be missing vampires and plenty of them... How many vampires have gone missing in your area?
Eric: None, magister.
Magister: So now, do you follow my logic.
Eric: I do, and I will look into the matter.
Magister: Good, and I will expect results.

Pam: [looking at Eric's hair] This is a disaster. We'll have to go much shorter than I planned.
Eric: Well I said I was sorry, Pam. He took silver to me.
[to Lafayette]
Eric: You were there, you saw it. Defend me.
Lafayette: I don't know what it is you want to know, but point me in the direction and I gives to you.
Eric: I've seen your website, it's quite, umm... low rent. But your clients miss you, Lafayette, they're wondering if you're ever coming back.
Lafayette: [nervous] Am I?

Dr. Ludwig: [to Bill, about Sookie] You can give her blood now. Her body should accept it.
Eric: [moving fast to Bill, about blood] Mine is much stronger. Allow me.
Bill: Never!

Royce: [in the dungeon] I gotta plan. I'm bustin' us out!
Lafayette: Don't be an idiot... Shhh.
Eric: [coming down stairs] No. Shushing won't do any good, sweetheart. We hear everything. But since you made me come all the way down here, I oughta take out some of the garbage.
[kneeling in front of Royce]
Eric: Royce Alan Williams, we have a few questions for you with regards to a fire which claims three of our kind.
Royce: No fucking way man! I don't know anything!
Eric: [pulling Royce to his feet] Crimes against vampire are on the rise. We lost a sheriff just days ago. We seek answers.

Randall: Look at me.
Lloyd: No.
Randall: Why not?
Lloyd: I don't think you're real.
Randall: Oh, I'm real, baby. I'm real real.
Lloyd: Well, if you're real then you must be the Devil.
Randall: That's not a very nice thing to say, Lloyd.

Eric: [pulling her back] I use to think you had no sense of humor.
Sookie: I use to think you were made of cold, hard stone and empty inside.
Eric: And now?
Sookie: [tender] You're a big faker. You're deep. You feel. There's love in you.
Eric: Only for Sookie.
[kissing her]
Lorena: [to Sookie] You don't want Bill. He means nothing to you.
Sookie: [moving away] No.
Eric: [pulling her to him] ... This is the beginning.
[kissing her passionately]

Frannie: You're dead.
Randall: Yet here I am.

Eric: [observing the compound, disdainfully] You've got to be joking me. 'This' is the Fellowship of the Sun? That's their army? Scared little boys with bibles and crossbows?
Isabel: Don't underestimate them. Support for their movement is growing. Their leadership camps are over flowing with self righteous extremists, all willing and ready to die for their cause.
Eric: That can be arranged quite easily.
Isabel: Not until we know for sure the Fellowship has Godric.
Eric: What about your boy Hugo? And Sookie? They've been in there too long.
Isabel: There's no sign of alarm and if Hugo were in serious danger, I would know it. I felt something earlier but it passed. He's OK now.
Eric: Tell me, what is it you find so fulfilling about human campanionship?
Isabel: They feel much more strongly than we do. Everything is urgent, exciting. Maybe because their lives are so temporary.
Eric: Yes, they certainly don't keep well. Do you find the prospect of him growing old, sickly and crippled somewhat repulsive?
Isabel: No, I find it curious. Like a science experiment. How does Bill Compton feel about your interest in Sookie?
Eric: I'm not interested in Sookie and even less in how Bill Compton feels. My only interest is finding Godric.

Eric: So, Bill. Are you quite attached to your friend.
Bill: She is mine!
Sookie: Yes. I am his.
Eric: Well, what a pitty... for me.

Bill: You're connected. He'll be able to sense your emotions.
Sookie: You big lying A-hole.
Eric: Bill, you're right. I believe I can sense her emotions.

Vernon: When I go away I'll always be with you.
Bailey: Don't lie.

Eric: [to Sookie about the blood after killing the werewolf] I got your rug all wet.

Nan: [to the vampires in attendence] Do you have any fucking idea of the PR mess you've made? And who has to fucking clean that up? Me, not you, Me. We should drain everyone of you bastards.
Eric: Stan went to the church on his own. None of us knew anything about it.
Nan: Oh really? Because everyone who met Stan in the last three-hundred years knew that he had a kink about slaughtering humans. But you, his nest-mates, his sherrif has no clue.
Isabel: And how were we supposed to know that this time he meant it?
Nan: Not my problem. Yours.
[to Godric]
Eric: [seething] Don't talk to him like way.
Nan: [to Eric] Don't talk to me that way!
[to Godric]
Nan: Lets get to the point, sheriff. How'd they manage to abduct you?
Godric: They would've taken one of us sooner or later. I offered myself.
Nan: Why?
Godric: Why not?
Nan: [pinched] They wanted you to meet the sun and you were willing?
Godric: What do you think?
Nan: I think you're out of you mind and than I hear about a traitor?
Godric: Irrelevant. Only a rumor. I'll take full responsibility.
Nan: You bet your ass you will!

Eric: [about the werewolves as she opens the door] They came for you.
Sookie: Just one this morning. He took off before I could get anything out of him. That why you're here? Or do you know something about Bill?

Stan: [about Hugo & Sookie] Maybe the little rats have run off, joined the Fellowship themselves.
Isabel: Careful. Hugo is mine.
Stan: Oh please! If you care so much about him, you'd have been in that church hours ago.
Isabel: With no plan, no exit strategy? That's why you'll never be sheriff, Stan, You don't think.
Stan: And you're too chicken shit to act! That's why you've been getting Godric coffee for the last fourty years.
[to Eric]
Stan: And you... Fellowship has your maker and you telepath and still you do nothin'.
Eric: [advancing to hold Stan to the wall] Are you questioning my loyalty, Stan?
Stan: Just trying to return Godric to his rightful position.
Eric: Oh really? 'Cause I think maybe you have another agenda. You think starting a war with the Fellowship will distract us from the truth. That you're so starved for power, you murdered Godric for his title.
Stan: That's a lie! How dare you accuse me?
Isabel: Eric, we don't know this. There's no proof.
Eric: [releasing Stan] Not yet. But I will find it and when I do, there will be no mercy. In the mean time, you two can stand here and quibble over his decision. Run into that church and kill them all. I no longer care.
[turning as blood tears start]
Eric: If Godric is gone, nothing will bring back what I have lost.

Eric: [to Sookie about their escape] I can have you outta here in seconds.
Sookie: There's kids out there.
Eric: The other humans wouldn't think twice about hurting us.
Sookie: Why didn't you bring Bill with you?
Eric: His attachment to you is irrational. It clouds his judgment. He would kill every child in this church to save you.
Sookie: Why aren't you?
Eric: I'm following Godric's orders and getting you out of here. That's all.

Nathan: Through the entrance in Antarctica, we could help him find a new home. And he could save ours.

Eric: I'm following Godric's orders, and getting you out. That's all.
Sookie: He's your Maker, isn't he?
Eric: Don't use words you don't understand.
Sookie: You have a lot of love for him.
Eric: Don't use words *I* don't understand.

Eric: [running a finger down her arm, waking her as she turns to him] Finish your sentence.
Sookie: What was I saying?
Eric: You were telling me why'd you be a terrible vampire and I was disagreeing.
Sookie: Well I don't feel right without a tan.
[as he laughs]
Sookie: It's true and I'd rather be alive than undead. Than ya'll are always killin'.
Eric: [knowingly] You've killed a man.
Sookie: That was for self defense, not for lunch.
Eric: Shhh. Oh, you'd adapt. Like we all do. Trade the sun for the moon and stars.
Sookie: Uh huh. Not me. I want 'em all.
Eric: [smiling] Ooh, greedy.
Sookie: Yeah, I am.
Eric: I love it.
[kisses her]
Eric: You have the temperament for a vampire.
Sookie: What? I'm high maintenance, blood thirsty, and old as dirt?
Eric: Ahh, blood thirsty, Yeah.
Sookie: I am not.
Eric: Everyone thinks you're a darling, don't they.
Sookie: I 'am' a darling.
Eric: You're ruthless because of the people you love. You'll do anything for them.
[kissing her]
Eric: Your brother, your friends... me.
Lorena: [in the shadows] Bill.
Sookie: [pulling away a bit] Bill? Where's Bill?
Lorena: What do you care? You've already abandoned him.
Sookie: I have not. I love Bill.

Eric: [sensing Lorena walking in behind him] I was beginning to think you weren't going to accept my invitation, Lorena.
Lorena: For a vampire, you're a terrible liar.

Maia: [about the entrance to Hollow Earth] Are you sure the monkey's gonna survive this?
Nathan: Oh, he'll be fine. It's us I'd worry about. We're about to be launched 1,000 miles in two seconds until gravity
[holds water bottle upside down]
Nathan: inverts itself and spits us into free fall. It'll be the most amazing thing you've ever seen.
[Hands her a barf bag]
Nathan: Here. For the vomit.
Maia: What?

Amleth: I will avenge you, Father. I will save you, Mother. I will kill you, Fjölnir.
Amleth: [to Olga on discovering he and Gunnar are half brothers] When I'm Done I Will Leave With That Child
Amleth: [to Olga on discovering he and Gunnar are half brothers] I Will Take That Child With Me When I Leave or I'm Done

Ulfrik: [Dying] You are king.
Eric: No. I won't allow it. Help!
[the soldiers are dead]
Ulfrik: You know what to do.
Eric: Yes
Ulfrik: Vengeance...
[Dies]
Eric: Vengeance.

Queen: The pigs at the IRS are breathing down my neck and I need money now. Sell the blood at half price if you have to. I don't care what it takes. Just move the product and cover our tracks.
Eric: With all due respect, your highness, I fear you're not considering all the angles.

Russell: What exactly is your Relationship with Miss Stackhouse?
Eric: Well, her lover, Bill Compton, is, um... Was a constituent of mine. I'd keep an eye on that because I knew she was of interest to my queen.
Russell: So no personal attachments?
Eric: I do not get attached to humans.

Bill: What are you doin'?
Sookie: I sucked silver out of Eric's chest and saved his life even though I *really* didn't want to.
Eric: She was superb.
Bill: ...Eric was in no danger.
Sookie: He... what?
Eric: A tiny falsehood.
Bill: He was already healing, the bullets would have pushed themselves out. This way he's forced you to drink his blood.
Sookie: [shouts] No... No! No!
Bill: You're connected. He'll be able to sense your emotions.
Sookie: [shouts at Eric] you big lying A-hole!
Eric: Bill, you're right, I believe I can sense her emotions.

Eric: [to Bill] We had a deal, your human and I. She will work for me as often as I like.

Randall: I have your blood in my fists, Old Mother. Pray your god takes you before you hear my boots on your steps. I'm going to blow your house down!

Eric: Here's what I know about werewolves. There's a reason their exsistance has remained merely a myth to humans for thousands of years. They're territorial, vicious, and pathologically secretive.
Sookie: [beat] Boy does that sound familiar.
Eric: And here's what I know about you. You're so blinded by your obsession with Bill Compton, you're likely to run through the streets screaming werewolf. By alerting who ever has Bill that we're on to him or getting yourself killed.
Sookie: You think I'm that stupid?
Eric: No, I think you're human.
Sookie: Don't underestimate me.
Eric: Don't underestimate yourself! Your life is too valuable to throw away!

Queen: Isn't moral anarchy kind of the point? I can't think of anything more depressing that living by the law forever.
Eric: Your Highness, forgive me but I don't feel the same sense of relief you do.
Queen: You don't think he believed us.
Eric: Not entirely. No.
Queen: Than I suggest you sell everything you have as soon as possible.

Bill: [as he leaves the Queen's house] What are you doing here?
Eric: Hopin' the Queen knows how to kick some maenad's ass.
Bill: [skeptical] Now why would you do that? So that you look like a hero to Sookie?
Eric: [smoothing his hair] Oh Billy, this paranoia is really quite unbecoming. Has she, uh, mentioned me?
Bill: No. That was really quite desperate of you. Tricking her into drinking your blood, so that she'd become attracted to you.
Eric: Unlike you, who fed her your own blood the very night you met.
Bill: How do you know that?
Eric: So you're not denying it.
Bill: I was saving her life.
Eric: Isn't that convenient.
Bill: You stay away from Sookie, Eric or I will tell the Queen you are forcing humans to sell vampire blood for you.
Eric: [ominous] You wouldn't.
Bill: I won't... as long as you never come close to Sookie ever again.
Eric: I don't like threats, Bill.
Bill: Neither do I.
[walks away]

Olga of the Birch Forest: Show the shepherd you aren't a sheep.
Amleth: I will show the shepherd his death.

Eric: Humans... honestly, Bill. I don't know what you see in them.

Jessica: [enters with Eric and Pam] Hi, daddy.
Bill: [furious] What is this?
Eric: There are favors and there are... favors.
Pam: She is extremely annoying.
Bill: You can't do this! We had a deal!
Eric: Yeah, well now the terms have changed. She's yours, unless you wanna give me Sookie?
[laughs as he draws his fangs]
Eric: It's just a suggestion. Though a few nights with this one may change your mind.
Pam: Good luck.
Eric: [in Swedish, as they leave] O du ljuva frihet.
[translation: Oh sweet freedom]
Jessica: [as Bill turns to her] So, who's good to eat around here?

Bill: [as Eric enters his home] I take it by your being here, there was no way around it then?
Eric: I can't really say. Didn't exactly look into it.

Eric: Ooh... And what is this?
Talbot: Japanese vampire erotica from the 16th century. Exquisite detail.
Eric: You learn any tricks?
Talbot: Eric, you know as well as I there's nothing new except someone new.

Bill: Are you still angry about our fight? Sookie, none of that matters anymore.
Sookie: You're right. I'm alive and in one piece. Unlike my friend Lafayette who Eric chained up like an animal and left to bleed to death.
Bill: What?
Sookie: You better not have known anything about this, Bill Compton. Because if you did, I don't think I could ever forgive you!
Bill: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Eric: [behind them] I imagine she's referring to the human in my basement... The human who traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood - which as you know is a grave offense.
Sookie: [to Eric] His name is Lafayette and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for what you've done to him.
[slaps him]
Bill: Sookie!
Eric: [unfazed] I'm glad you're feeling better and may I add that color suits you very well.
[refering to her red shirt]
Sookie: Go to hell!
Bill: [holding her back] Sookie! Enough!
Sookie: Oh it's not nearly enough. They've tortured him and bitten him and shot him and kept him down there in his own filth for weeks.
Bill: [to Eric] Is this true?
Eric: There are others who would have done far worse and you know it.
Sookie: You're gonna let him go right now or I swear, I'm going to the police.
Eric: [draws his fangs] I do not respond well to threats!... But perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement.

Eric: [moving up fast] Good evening, Lafayette.
Lafayette: [turning and falling from the sofa] No! You can't come in my house unless I invite you in and I ain't no where near that crazy.
Eric: You have to come out eventually. I have all the time in the world.
Lafayette: You let me go!
Eric: I gave you a very generous gift. The gift of not killing you.

Eric: I humbly request permission to hunt your territory for the vampire missing from my area.
Russell: I appreciate your courtesy, Eric. It's very old-world.
Talbot: Nobody has manners anymore. It was all so beautiful once.
Russell: Your fugitive, what's his name again?
Russell: Bill Compton. I'm responsible for him, and, uh, I'm ashamed to admit it, but he's wanted for selling vampire blood.
Russell: Oh, no, no. That's heinous. Are you sure?
[Eric nods]
Russell: Let's ask him.
Talbot: [Bill walks in] Voilà. He's not missing, and he's way too square to deal V.

Amleth: Take your freedom and do with it what you will.
- Fjolnir!

Sookie: [entering his room] Eric?
Eric: [bereaved tone] Godric is gone.
Sookie: I know. I'm so sorry.

Bill: Long Shadow was choking the girl and would have killed her.
Magister: So you murdered a higher life form for the sake of your pet! You broke an acient and fundimental law. You decreased our numbers at a critical time in our history. Very bad. Very, very bad.
Bill: Magister, Long Shadow broke the law first. She was mine and he knew it. He would have killed her and fed from her!
Magister: [displeased] Hello! Human! Irrelevant. Happens every day!
Bill: He was stealing from Eric.
Magister: Sheriff?
Eric: Yes, Magister. It's true. Long Shadow was a thief and a liar. He was hurting my business.
Magister: [considering] The business part, that is a serious offense.
Bill: And it was the human who exposed Long Shadow. Would you tell him, Eric?
Eric: The only reason the girl was there was because I called her.
Bill: To protect your wealth!
Eric: To protect my wealth, yes. Magister, she is... valuable.
Magister: Humans exist to serve us. That is their only value.
Bill: There are those among us who think differently.
Magister: [challenging] Do you question my authority? I am the magister. I was trained in the Inquisition and I am the adjudicator for every vampire territory in North America! As the humans say, the humans you love more than your own kind, back your shit down!
Eric: [warningly] Bill.
Magister: Well, you haven't bored me. That works in your favor. And you seem to be obedient to your sheriff.
Eric: For the most part... When it matters, yes he is.
Magister: The usual sentence is five years in a coffin, chained with silver. During which time your body will waste to leather and sticks. You'll probably go insane. However, I'm feeling a bit... creative.

Lukas: Privacy, pussy, pasta.

Nathan: [about to jumpstart Kong's heart with a HEAV] Good luck, big fella.

Pam: [to Lafayette] Such a shame. I was hoping I could convince Eric to let me keep you.
Eric: No, you already have enough pets.
Lafayette: No offense, but you ain't exactly my type, bitch.
Pam: Can I kick him?

Michael: This could have been a lot different.
Justine: Yes. But, Michael... what did you expect?

- Man: Hold it strong!
- Man: Stay on your feet!
Amleth: Take my hand!
- I have you!

Brint: Or the way Hansel combs his hair?
Meekus: Or like, doesn't, it's like, ex-squeeze me, but have you ever heard of styling gel?
Brint: I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel, he's a male model.
Meekus: Uh, earth to Brint, I was making a joke.
Brint: Uh, Earth to Meekus, duh, okay I knew that!
Meekus: Uh earth to Brint, I'm not so sure you did cuz you were all 'well I'm sure he's heard of styling gel' like you *didn't* know it was a joke!
Brint: I knew it was a joke Meekus, I just didn't get it right away!
Meekus: Earth to Brint...
Derek: Would you guys stop it already?

Pam: [over the phone] We're being raided.
Eric: So? Call the American Vampire League. They'll get their lawyers on it. I'm busy.
Pam: [in Swedish] It's not the police. It's the Magister.
Eric: I'm coming there now.
Pam: Don't be stupid. Leave while you still can. They're looking for the V, Eric. The Queen set you up.

George: What I wouldn't give for a horse right now. Why is it people don't ride zebras?
John: Horses kick to escape. Zebras continue until you are dead.
George: Zeebra. Zehbra. Tomayto. Tomahto.
John: It's nearly impossible to take the wild out of something born to it.
George: It seem to work with you. Look. I feel foolish for asking, but... Can you really talk to animals?
John: You're an educated man, Dr. Williams. You tell me.

Eric: You surprise me. That is rare quality in a breather
Sookie: [seething] You disgust me.
Eric: Perhaps I'll grow on you.
Sookie: I'd prefer cancer!

Pam: To Arlene's children: You make me so happy I never had any of you.
Eric: No, c'mon Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. 'Teacup humans'.

Bill: Why this allegiance to Godric?
Eric: He is much beloved by his subjects.
Bill: Only kings and queens have subjects Eric. Not Sheriffs.
Eric: Godric could have been king of Texas had he wanted. He could have been king of any vampire territory anywhere. He is twice as old as I am and very powerful. There are none above him in the new world.
Bill: Well if he's so powerful, how could they abduct him?
Eric: Now that is what worries me. If one such as he can ben taken by humans, then none of us are safe.

Sookie: [watching Eric with the new dancer] What the s...?
Eric: [stops and turns] Sookie... see anything you like?
Pam: I do.
Eric: I take it Sookie couldn't be stopped?
Pam: What can I say? She overpowered me.

Jonas: Father, do you love me?
Mother: Jonas, precision of language. Please.
Lilly: What does "love" mean?
Father: [taking Gabriel] I got him, Lilly
Mother: [to Lilly] Jonas used a word so antiquated that it no longer has any application. Okay?
Father: [to Jonas] If you ask "Do you enjoy me?" the answer is certainly yes; or, do Mother and I take pride in your accomplishments? Well, of course we do. Do you understand?

Sookie: I was in that basement for two days. You don't even wanna know what almost happened to me down there. Where were you?
Bill: Sookie, it's...
Sookie: 'It's complicated' is not an answer. Every time I've needed you, you've always come runnin'. Even in broad day light. What kept you?
Bill: [reluctant] ... I was held.
Sookie: Held? Like kidnapped? By who? By Eric?
Eric: [walking up] Hmmm. I heard my name. I hope you are speaking well of me.
Sookie: Why should I? You let me walk into a trap.
Eric: I regret that. If I had known it was a possibility...
Sookie: You did know! But because it was Godric, you'd risk anything.
Eric: The bond between a vampire and his maker is stronger than you can imagine. Perhaps one day you'll find out.

Eric: [to Sookie] Trust me.

Sookie: Do you know anyone named Jackson? It's the only thing I could make out. Maybe that's the person he's working for.
Eric: Jackson's where he lives. He had a Mississippi accent... can't you people tell the difference?
Sookie: He's from Jackson? Do you think that's where Bill is? Eric, we have to go like yesterday.
Eric: I can't. Not yet. The problems of the world consist of more than finding your missing boyfriend. You shouldn't go by yourself either. These werewolves are looking for you. You're no good to Bill or to me if you are dead.
Sookie: [confused] How can you stand to sit around when we finally have a lead?
Eric: It'll be morning by the time you get to Jackson. If you're planning on rescuing a missing vampire during daylight, I have seriously over-estimated your intelligence. Please take the day to think it over.
Sookie: Fine. I'll leave tomorrow. I have to go. Bill would do it for me. I don't expect you to understand.
Eric: ...I understand very well.
Sookie: If I do get into some kind of trouble, you'll feel it right?... How fast can you get to Mississippi?
Eric: Probably not fast enough. Stay out of trouble, Ms. Stackhouse. You'll do us both a favor.
[leaves at vampiric spead]

Lafayette: I gave you everything.
Eric: You gave me nothing.

Mother: Do you think my fear is greater than His?
Randall: Well, having observed a number of crucifixions, I'd have to say no.

Lorena: Why am I here, Mr. Northman?
Eric: We want the same thing, you and I.
[when she just looks at him]
Eric: Okay, Bill has something I want and he's in the way.
Lorena: [knowingly] His human?
Eric: She's something more than human.
Lorena: What is she?
Eric: That I do not know. Whatever it is, he loves her.
Lorena: What makes you think I want him back? That I'd even take him back.
Eric: Because you didn't come all this way just to see me.
Lorena: [seething] I haven't seen Bill Compton is over seventy years. Surely you can't think I have any pull over him, what so ever.
Eric: I haven't seen my make for much longer than that and yet, I am still loyal to him. Fiercely.
Lorena: Shame I didn't turn you. Then again... you're not really my type.

George: You look like you're about to give me a hug.
John: I wasn't.
George: Looked like you were.
[they embrace]

Eric: [as Bill catches his arm] I don't like being touched.
Bill: [disgusted] Oh believe me, I do not like touching you. Your contact with Sookie will cease from this moment on.
Eric: Oh ,that's hardly your decision.
Bill: Callin' my maker 'cause you couldn't win Sookie for yourself is feeble and desperate, even for you.
Eric: [smiling] Are you picking a fight? I'd like to see you try.
Bill: She will never be yours and there's nothing you can do. In this you are powerless. Accept it.

Eric: [catching Jason] Hail the conquering hero.
Jason: Oh no. I'm no hero.
Eric: Well you are in this town. But in my area, we know you well as a buyer and user of vampire blood.
Jason: Yeah, listen. I don't do that any more.
Eric: All things considered, however, we'll call it even. You won't be doing it again.
Jason: Yes... no, no!
Eric: Good boy. Run along.

Eric: [after Bill tells him what attacked Sookie] The head of a bull?
Bill: That's what she said. It was dark. It all happened in seconds.
Eric: You didn't see this... bull-man?
Bill: No.
Eric: And you gave her your blood?
Bill: I didn't work.
Eric: [thinking] Hmmm.
Bill: You ever heard of anything like this?
Eric: Surprisingly, no.

Eric: [after Bill has found him in his bathtub, with soft music playing] I texted you three times. Why didn't you reply?
Bill: I hate using the number keys to type. What are you listening to?
Eric: From my younger days. It's really quite beautiful if you know old Swedish. I have a favor to ask of you.
Bill: A favor or an order?
Eric: Depends on how you look at it. Honestly, did you think you could keep her to yourself?

Eric: Russell will come for her.
Bill: Well, you should know, since you're now his butt boy.
Eric: No longer. I killed Talbot.
Bill: So that's why he went medieval on TV. Well, thanks, Eric. You just put our cause back a thousand years.

Pam: [looking on as Sookie and Bill kiss] If I had any feelings, I'd have the chills right about now.
Eric: Not me.

Eric: I've seen your website... it's very low rent.

Eric: I have no knowledge of this maenad creature, although I suspect it's the bullheaded beast that passed through recently. Right Pam?
Pam: That thing owes me a pair of shoes!

George: I'm still coming with you.
John: You can't keep up.
George: I might not be able to keep up with Tarzan, but I sure as hell can keep up with *you*.

Russell: If all the supernatural's would stop squabbling among themselves and unite, we could conquer humans in a matter of days.
Eric: This is your plan?
Russell: I prefer to call it my dream.
Eric: Well, I like this dream.
Russell: Throughout history, I have aligned myself with or destroyed those humans in power, hoping to make a dent in mankind's race to oblivion. What other creature actively destroys its own habitat?
Eric: Hey, you're preaching to the choir.
Russell: I mean, do you remember how the air used to smell? How humans used to smell? How they used to taste?
Eric: I remember everything.
Russell: Preening little fool that he was, Adolf was right about one thing. There is a master race. It's just not the human race.

Sookie: Where were you tonight around 11 o'clock?
Eric: Here, with Yvetta.
Sookie: Doing this?... For the last six hours?
Eric: You seem surprised. Is Bill's stamina not up to snuff?

Eric: [about Bill missing] The Queen is the last person I need finding out about this.
Pam: You're not the only one whose fate hangs in the balance here.
Eric: And what do you think the Queen will do if I tell her I've lost the one vampire who could link her to the dealing of vampire blood?
Pam: What do you think she'll do if she finds out from someone else? Call the Queen.
Eric: There are times when I seek your counsel, Pam. Now is not one of those times.

Eric: Why wouldn't you leave when I first came for you?
Godric: They didn't treat me badly. You'd be shocked at how ordinary most of them are.
Eric: They do nothing but fan the flames of hatred for us.
Godric: Let's be honest. We are frightening. After thousands of years we haven't evolved. We only grow more brutal, more predatory. I don't see the danger in treating humans as equals. The Fellowship of the Sun arose because we never did so.
Eric: Is that why you wouldn't fight when they took you?
Godric: I could have killed every last one of them with in minutes. And what would that have proven?

Warrior: [in old Swedish to a dying Eric, on the funeral pyre] All will be well. Don't be afraid.
Eric: [weakly] I'm not afraid. I'm pissed off.
Warrior: [hearing rushing noises] Who's there? Show yourself!
[is promptly killed along with Warrior 1]
Eric: [seeing a boy with ancient Roman tattoos] Are you Death?
Godric: I am.
Eric: You're just a little boy.
Godric: I'm not.
Eric: My men?
Godric: Dead.
Eric: You swine!
Godric: I watched you in the battlefield last night. I never saw anyone fight like you.
Eric: I would fight you now if I could.
Godric: [almost laughing] I know. It's beautiful.
Eric: What are you waiting for? Kill me.
Godric: Could you be a companion of death? Could you walk with me through the world? Through dark? I'll teach you all I know. I'll be your father, your brother, your child.
Eric: ...What is in it for me?
Godric: What you love most... life.
Eric: [considering] ... Life.

Amleth: What are those?
Audunn the Irish: You never seen a knattre before? By nightfall you have seen enough of them.

Bill: [about Sookie] You're playin' with her life.
Eric: It's not game to me.
Bill: All this for a colleague. For the sheriff of Area 9, why?

Sookie: So all that stuff about caring about me, that was just crap?
Eric: I never said I cared about you. Maybe you dreamt it.
Sookie: You big phony. Big hat, no cattle.
Eric: Do you mind? I'm trying to think here.
Sookie: I thought you said my life was too valuable to throw away.
Eric: You *are* valuable, that's very clear. I'm just not sure why.
Sookie: [Attempts mimicking his voice] "Sookie, I'm risking everything to tell you this, because you mean so much to me. You make me feel almost human."
Eric: [Confronts her, fangs out] You mean *nothing* to me, understand? Nothing. I'm close to getting something I've wanted since I was still human. Do not get in my way.

Eric: [about Sookie questioning their humans] Don't be coy. It's humbling enough to turn to a human for assistance. We know what you can do.

Eric: [pacing the porch, teasingly] To have and to hold. To love and to cherish. To blah blah blah blah. Till death do you part. Doesn't bother you that you'll be the only one doing the dying?
Sookie: I'm not going to talk about this with you.
Eric: Okay... So you'd really rather stay out here all night than invite me in?
Sookie: One minute you lie to me, the next minute you ask me to trust you. You do something generous and selfless. And then follow that with something nasty or down right cruel.
Eric: [suddenly alert and rushing her to the door] Invite me in.
Sookie: You can't just bully your way in.
Eric: [drawing his fangs] Invite me in. Now!
Sookie: Mr. Northman, would you please come in.

Eric: So what brings you to Fangtasia this balmy summer night?
Sookie: Bill's been kidnapped and I think you did it.
Eric: I didn't. Any other theories?
Sookie: I'm still on this one. Thank you very much.

Debbie: Let me go after them. I'll rip their fucking heads off!
Russell: I like your energy. What do you think, Northman?
Eric: Well, I enjoy a good head-ripping as much as the next vampire. But in this case, it might be wise to consider the value of the heads in question.
Russell: You mean the Stackhouse girl? Yeah, she's something special, isn't she?
Debbie: She fucked my ex-boyfriend and made him shoot my fiance. She's a cunt.
Russell: But she's a special cunt.

Eric: [to Bill] If you're their poster boy, the mainstreaming movement is in very deep trouble.

Sookie: [gasping as she pushes Eric off of her] Can't breathe. You weigh a ton!
[shouting]
Sookie: Jason? Jason!
[seeing him not far and turning back to Eric]
Sookie: Uh oh!
Eric: [weakly, bleeding] Had to shield you.
Sookie: Well hurry up and heal yourself. What are you waiting for?
Eric: [gasping] Can't. Silver.
Sookie: I'll get Godric.
Eric: No time... suck... it out.
[silver bullets]
Sookie: Eric, I can't. It's gross and... it's you.
Eric: Dying...
[passes out]

Amleth: It's a nightmare.
Olga of the Birch Forest: Then you might wake up.
Amleth: [referring to his mother and her new son] It's a nightmare for *them*.

Nathan: Looks like round two goes to Kong.

Ilene: [referring to Godzilla after he's beaten Kong out at sea] As soon as we move, he'll be back. How are we supposed to get the rest of the way?
Nathan: How's Kong with heights?

Sookie: [In reference to Godric] He's your maker, isn't he?
Eric: Don't use words you don't understand.
Sookie: You have a lot of love for him.
Eric: Don't use words I don't understand.

[first lines]
Michael: Sir. Eh...
[looking backward]
Michael: Yeah, you're good. You can back up a little more, if you want. I think you need the... I think you need that extra...
Justine: [laughing] I don't think he can hear you.
Michael: Sir. Sir, can you hear me up there?
[fiddling with controls]
Michael: Do you copy, sailor? He's in a different county, I think that's...
Justine: [laughing]

Amleth: Neverbefier when we found you as a cub...
- I knew then that you had a heart of cold iron.
Shield: Too weak!
- I want strong ones!
- Not weak ones!

Amleth: [revealing himself to Finnr] The cub you once hunted ate up you nose. Now the wolf has grown. He hungers for the rest!
[stabs Finnir in his nose with a sword which is then driven straight through his head]

Eric: I thought in over a thousand years I'd seen all there was to see.

Brint,29337: [in unison] Orange Mocha Frappuccino!

Sophie: Go fuck yourself.
Russell: Mm.
Eric: [Attacks Sophie-Anne, pins her to the ground] No, sweetheart. You go fuck yourself. Oh, I am older and stronger than you. I only submitted to you in the past because of respect. But you framed me. So I renounce any and all allegiance to you. I am his now.
Sophie: I refuse to grant you...
Eric: I will rip your head off and throw it in the pool. And I will have fun doing it.

Randall: Now let's get this party started.

Eric: So, what's it gonna be Lafayette? Would you like your leg to kill you? Or would you prefer us to do that?
Lafayette: I'm gonna go with plan C.
Eric: There's a plan C?
Lafayette: Make me a vampire.
Eric: I beg your pardon.
Lafayette: And you can put me to work in the bar. I'm a good dancer, you've seen it on my site. Shit, I'd get up there and move earth and heaven Go-Go style.
Eric: You are aware that there's a gaping whole in your leg. You're damaged goods.
Lafayette: Not if you turn me. I'd be as good as heaven. Look... I... I'm already a person of poor moral character... so I hit the ground running.

Eric: You have no connections in the Were community. They're not going to answer your questions because they don't even want you to know they exist.
Sookie: Bill's out there somewhere in danger. I can't just go on with my life like that's not happening. You know that, maybe better than anyone. When Godric went missing...
Eric: [interupts] Bill Compton is no Godric!
Sookie: [starts sobbing] He's everything to me.
Eric: Please don't do that. It makes me feel disturbingly human.
Sookie: I risked my life to help you find Godric. And I don't expect you to do the same for Bill. But at the very least I hope you'll help me if you can.