Top 20 Quotes From Catherine Zeta-Jones

Amelia: This is my problem. I always see men the way I want to see them.

Roxie: It'll never work.
Velma: Why not?
Roxie: Because I hate you.
Velma: There's only one business where that's no problem at all.

Amelia: Do I know you from someplace?
Viktor: Sensible heels. Payless Shoes. Second floor.

Velma: You wanted my advice, right? Well here it is. Don't forget Billy Flynn's number one client is... Billy Flynn.
Roxie: What's that supposed to mean?
Velma: It means, don't let him hog the spot-light when you're the one they paid to see.

Amelia: I usually read history books. They're long and cheap and usually about men killing each other.

Amelia: I have to go.
Viktor: I have to stay.
Amelia: Story of my life.
Viktor: Me too.

Amelia: Are you coming or going?
Viktor: I don't know. Both.

Roxie: You're, THE Velma Kelly. I was there the night you got arrested.
Velma: Yeah? You and half of Chicago.

Liz: Pop.
Annie: Six.
June: Squish.
Hunyack: Unh-uh.
Velma: Cicero.
Mona: Lipschitz.

Amelia: I just keep injesting these poisonous men until I make myself sick.
Viktor: You're not sick, Amelia, no. You're a little far-sighted.

Velma: Oh, you're gonna see your sheba do the shimmy-shake... And all that jazz. Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break... And all that jazz. Show her where to park her girdle. Oh, her mother's blood'll curdle if she'd hear her baby's queer for All that jazz...

Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Velma: And then some.
Bailiff: Take a seat.
Assistant: Would you state your name for the record, please?
Velma: Velma Kelly.
Assistant: Ms. Kelly, would you please tell the court if the object that I am holding is the one you happened to come across in the defendant's jail cell?
Velma: Yes, it is.
Assistant: I submit this as Exhibit X - Roxie Hart's diary!
Billy: I object! My client has never held a diary! And even if she did, this would be... invasion of privacy, and violation of the fourth amendment, and... and illegal search without a warrant!
Roxie: Yeah, AND she broke the lock!

Velma: Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes... And all that jazz. I hear that father dip is gonna blow the blues... And all that jazz. Hold on hun we're gonna bunny hug, I bought some aspirin down at united drug. In case we shake apart and want a brand new start to do that Jazz.

Velma: You know you're really pretty good.
Roxie: Yeah, that and a dime. What are you doing here?
Velma: I heard you been, uh, making the rounds.
Roxie: Yeah, well, if it was up to you I'd be swinging by now.
Velma: Come on, I always knew Billy'd get you off. You should learn how to put things behind you.
Roxie: Oh, thank you. I'll put that at the top of my list. Right after finding a job and an apartment with a john.

Amelia: You told me you were delayed, you never said it was for nine months!

Velma: [singing] No I'm no one's wife, but oh, I love my life and all that jazz.

Velma: Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose And all that jazz. Right up here is where I store the juice... And all that jazz.

Billy: Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?
Velma: Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.

Roxie: Mr. Flynn!
[pretends to faint]
Billy: Someone open this door immediately!
Ms. Sunshine: Oh, my God! Roxie! What is it, dear?
Roxie: Oh! Oh! Oh, no no no. Don't, don't worry about me. Oh, I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby.
Matron: Baby?
Velma: Shit!

Frank: You could have any man you wanted... why Viktor Navorski?
Amelia: That's something a guy like you could never understand.