Top 20 Quotes From Catherine Zeta-Jones

Amelia: This is my problem. I always see men the way I want to see them.

Roxie: You're, THE Velma Kelly. I was there the night you got arrested.
Velma: Yeah? You and half of Chicago.

Amelia: You told me you were delayed, you never said it was for nine months!

Roxie: Mr. Flynn!
[pretends to faint]
Billy: Someone open this door immediately!
Ms. Sunshine: Oh, my God! Roxie! What is it, dear?
Roxie: Oh! Oh! Oh, no no no. Don't, don't worry about me. Oh, I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby.
Matron: Baby?
Velma: Shit!

Viktor: You say you are waiting for something. And I say to you, "Yes, yes. We all wait".
Amelia: What are you waiting for?
Viktor: You. I wait for you...

Velma: I just can't take it anymore. You can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato!
[Mama sits up with her hair dyed blonde like Roxie's]
Velma: Oh no, Mama, not you, too.

Velma: Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky. I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high 'cause in the stratosphere how could he lend an ear to all that jazz.

Amelia: I just keep injesting these poisonous men until I make myself sick.
Viktor: You're not sick, Amelia, no. You're a little far-sighted.

Liz: Pop.
Annie: Six.
June: Squish.
Hunyack: Unh-uh.
Velma: Cicero.
Mona: Lipschitz.

Velma: Oh, you're gonna see your sheba do the shimmy-shake... And all that jazz. Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break... And all that jazz. Show her where to park her girdle. Oh, her mother's blood'll curdle if she'd hear her baby's queer for All that jazz...

Amelia: Are you coming or going?
Viktor: I don't know. Both.

Roxie: It'll never work.
Velma: Why not?
Roxie: Because I hate you.
Velma: There's only one business where that's no problem at all.

Viktor: Please. Please. Don't be hurt.
Amelia: How can I not be? He's married.
Viktor: One man. Two womens. Crowded.
Amelia: You want to know what the worst part is? I never even asked him to leave his wife. I was encouraging him to get counseling. I mean, what kind of sick person am I? I'm rooting for the home team. I just wish the sex wasn't so amazing.

Amelia: I've been waiting my whole life, I just don't know what the hell for.

Billy: Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?
Velma: Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.

Billy: Miss Kelly, do you know the meaning of perjury?
Velma: Yes, I do
Billy: You also know that it's a crime?
Velma: Yes
Billy: For example, if you knew this diary was a fake, I'd hate to see you rot away in prison especially since you just won your freedom...
Velma: Look, all I know is what I was told!
Billy: Oh, so you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?
Velma: No. Mama - Miss Morton gave it to me. She said someone sent it to her
Billy: Someone... did she have any idea who this mysterious benefactor could be?
Velma: [Irritated] No, she didn't know!

Amelia: Do I know you from someplace?
Viktor: Sensible heels. Payless Shoes. Second floor.

Velma: She'd say, "What's your sister like?" I'd say, "Men."

Velma: You know you're really pretty good.
Roxie: Yeah, that and a dime. What are you doing here?
Velma: I heard you been, uh, making the rounds.
Roxie: Yeah, well, if it was up to you I'd be swinging by now.
Velma: Come on, I always knew Billy'd get you off. You should learn how to put things behind you.
Roxie: Oh, thank you. I'll put that at the top of my list. Right after finding a job and an apartment with a john.

Velma: My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, back-flips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozin, having a few laughs, and we run out of ice, so I run out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing number 17, the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out; I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.