Top 20 Quotes From Catherine Zeta-Jones

Amelia: This is my problem. I always see men the way I want to see them.

Amelia: I usually read history books. They're long and cheap and usually about men killing each other.

Amelia: I have to go.
Viktor: I have to stay.
Amelia: Story of my life.
Viktor: Me too.

Velma: You know you're really pretty good.
Roxie: Yeah, that and a dime. What are you doing here?
Velma: I heard you been, uh, making the rounds.
Roxie: Yeah, well, if it was up to you I'd be swinging by now.
Velma: Come on, I always knew Billy'd get you off. You should learn how to put things behind you.
Roxie: Oh, thank you. I'll put that at the top of my list. Right after finding a job and an apartment with a john.

Velma: [singing] No I'm no one's wife, but oh, I love my life and all that jazz.

Billy: Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?
Velma: Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.

Velma: Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes... And all that jazz. I hear that father dip is gonna blow the blues... And all that jazz. Hold on hun we're gonna bunny hug, I bought some aspirin down at united drug. In case we shake apart and want a brand new start to do that Jazz.

Amelia: Are you coming or going?
Viktor: I don't know. Both.

Velma: She'd say, "What's your sister like?" I'd say, "Men."

Billy: Miss Kelly, do you know the meaning of perjury?
Velma: Yes, I do
Billy: You also know that it's a crime?
Velma: Yes
Billy: For example, if you knew this diary was a fake, I'd hate to see you rot away in prison especially since you just won your freedom...
Velma: Look, all I know is what I was told!
Billy: Oh, so you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?
Velma: No. Mama - Miss Morton gave it to me. She said someone sent it to her
Billy: Someone... did she have any idea who this mysterious benefactor could be?
Velma: [Irritated] No, she didn't know!

Velma: Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky. I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high 'cause in the stratosphere how could he lend an ear to all that jazz.

Velma: [Rising from the stage alone] 'C'mon Babe, why don't we paint the town... And all that Jazz. I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down... And all Jazz. Start the car I know a whoopie spot... where the gin is cold and the piano's hot. It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl... And all that Jazz.

Viktor: Please. Please. Don't be hurt.
Amelia: How can I not be? He's married.
Viktor: One man. Two womens. Crowded.
Amelia: You want to know what the worst part is? I never even asked him to leave his wife. I was encouraging him to get counseling. I mean, what kind of sick person am I? I'm rooting for the home team. I just wish the sex wasn't so amazing.

Amelia: I just keep injesting these poisonous men until I make myself sick.
Viktor: You're not sick, Amelia, no. You're a little far-sighted.

Roxie: It'll never work.
Velma: Why not?
Roxie: Because I hate you.
Velma: There's only one business where that's no problem at all.

Amelia: I've been waiting my whole life, I just don't know what the hell for.

Velma: Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose And all that jazz. Right up here is where I store the juice... And all that jazz.

Velma: You wanted my advice, right? Well here it is. Don't forget Billy Flynn's number one client is... Billy Flynn.
Roxie: What's that supposed to mean?
Velma: It means, don't let him hog the spot-light when you're the one they paid to see.

Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Velma: And then some.
Bailiff: Take a seat.
Assistant: Would you state your name for the record, please?
Velma: Velma Kelly.
Assistant: Ms. Kelly, would you please tell the court if the object that I am holding is the one you happened to come across in the defendant's jail cell?
Velma: Yes, it is.
Assistant: I submit this as Exhibit X - Roxie Hart's diary!
Billy: I object! My client has never held a diary! And even if she did, this would be... invasion of privacy, and violation of the fourth amendment, and... and illegal search without a warrant!
Roxie: Yeah, AND she broke the lock!

Viktor: You say you are waiting for something. And I say to you, "Yes, yes. We all wait".
Amelia: What are you waiting for?
Viktor: You. I wait for you...