50 Best Days of Our Lives Quotes

[John explains to Marlena that they are too connected to the serial-killer suspects]
John: Doc, listen. Sami is your daughter. Rex is your son. My son is living in Nicole and Victor's house. Kate is my employee. Lucas is Will's father. Tony is my half-brother and they're all suspects.

Jan: [to nicole, after killing victor] We killed someone! So now we're gonna go to hell!

[opening narration]
Dr. Thomas "Tom" Horton Sr.: Like sands through the hourglass... so are the Days of Our Lives.

Sami: [to Kate] I have a friend who is keeping an eye on Victor and Nicole for me.
Kate: You have a friend?

Nicole: [to Sami] You always lose, but you never accept it.

Craig: What's going on?
Chloe: Boys! They're stupid, insensitive and annoying!
Craig: Congratulations! You're becoming perfectly normal.

Victor: [to Kate] You know, for some one who loves their children so much, you certainly seem to do them a terrible disservice.

Innkeeper: Where have you been?
Bart: Still looking for Deveraux... you seen any sign of him?
Innkeeper: He seemed to have vanished... how, I don't know.
Bart: All right, we got men posted at all the exits, all right, I hand-picked them myself, so you know they're plenty sharp.
Innkeeper: Even if he escapes the inn, at this time in the mountains, he can't go through. He won't go too far.
Bart: Good.
Jack: [Sneaking to the window after they leave]
[Quietly to himself, but directed at them]
Jack: Don't be so sure. You obviously never saw the end of the Sound of Music.
[as he jumps out the window]

Victor: [To Nicole after Brady rejects her for Chloe] You know Nicole, at the end of the opera the rejected lover hangs herself. You'll let me know if you need any rope.

Julie: That's why the best sex is after a huge fight.
Sami: (blushes) Oh, I wouldn't know about that.
Lucas: Oh, she knows. She won't admit it but she knows.

Vivian: I'm soon going to be Mrs. Forty-Nine Percent of Titan!

[after Henderson disrespects her]
Nicole: I will have respect!
Victor: When hell freezes over.

Marlena: You're treating me like a common criminal.
John: I don't mean to. You're not a common criminal, Doc, you're a cold blooded killer and I think it's time you confess.

[At the Halloween paryt inside the Hartley House, Cynthia approaches Shawn, who is dresses as Danny Zuko from Grease]
Cynthia: So, Jimmy Dean, if that's who you're supposed to be...
Rex: Purveyor of breakfast products?
Mimi: Rebel without a cause.

Sami: If I wasn't so mad at you, I'd have sex on the bar with you.
[EJ gives look slightly towards camera, as if he was speechless]

Hattie: Dr. Stiner will you help me? I'm putting myself in your hands.
Rolf: Hattie, there is too much of you to fit in my hands.

[Chloe and Brady talk about the uncertainty of life]
Brady: I could get hit by a bus on my way to work.
Chloe: If you ever went to work.

[to Sami on the day of Doug's funeral]
Julie: Sami, if you're trying to make me feel better, it's not working.

[talking about baby Claire's ailment]
Bonnie: Babies can really surprise you. Your father dropped you on your head at least three or four times.
Mimi: That explains a lot.

Nicole: [to Kate and Sami] Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble - Salem witches in a huddle.

Belle: Sometimes guys don't think before they open their mouths and end up saying something stupid, which is why our brains have to work overtime.

Sami: Whoa.
Mimi: What are you doing here? Don't you have some rock you can climb under?
Sami: That's not a very nice thing to say, Mimi.
Mimi: I don't have any reason to be nice to you. All this fighting tonight is your fault. You're the reason that Rex got mad at me, and you're the reason that Philip found out about Belle and Shawn being up on the roof together.
Sami: Actually, you have no one to blame but yourself. If you hadn't gotten caught in all your lies, none of this would have happened.
Mimi: Oh, funny, you accusing me of lying when you're Salem's all-time champ.
Sami: Look, Meems, listen up, if I were in your shaky shoes, I'd be a lot nicer to me - a lot nicer. In fact, I'd also be looking over my shoulder, too. Be very, very careful how you treat me, Mimi.

Philip: [to Belle] For as long as I've known you, you've had this old soul thing going, all wise and good, taking care of other at the expense of yourself...
Belle: Philip, you're making me sound like Yoda.

Lois: [to Marlena, crying] How many men do you need?

[Kate seeks refuge on the hospital terrace after fighting with Nicole and runs in to Jack]
Kate: God, that woman makes me want to scream!
Jack: [putting his hands over his ears] Go!

Bo: Tell Marlena I love her.
John: Sorry Bo, she's taken.

Nicole: Tell me, H, what is wrong with this picture?
Henderson: Madam, where should I began?

Belle: Do you believe everything a beautiful girl tells you?
Shawn: Well, I believe everything you tell me.
Belle: Good answer!

Brady: Nancy? For a minute there, I - I thought I saw...
Nancy: Chloe?
Brady: Yeah.
Nancy: I passed a girl earlier that reminded me of her very much, too.
Brady: I admit, I've been feeling Chloe's presence here tonight. So I guess when I saw that girl, I thought I was having a Christmas miracle.
Nancy: It's understandable. Miracles do happen at Christmas.
Brady: Yeah, well, not for me. Chloe's gone. She's not coming back.

[Sami Brady is dressed as Marilyn Monroe]
Lucas: There she is, the star of "How to Blackmail a Millionaire" and "The Seven-Year Bitch".

Tony: I would invite you back but I'm afraid you'll say yes.

EJ: Well, you know the Salem Police Department - they never get anything right.

[after disguising herself and stealing a document from Carrie's office in L.A]
Nicole: Oh, Nicole - that chick on Alias has got nothing on you.

[Shawn, Belle and Phillip on Mimi's lot for the first time]
Shawn: Well say something Phil. You like it, you hate it?
Phillip: I don't know man, it's kinda gloomy.
Belle: Oh no! Not you too! This is getting old.
Phillip: I'm serious. It is a sunny hot day, so why's it so dark back here?
Shawn: Seems to be the burning question, isn't it?
Belle: Would you two stop, okay! It's shade! You know how trees create shade by blocking the sun by their many branches and leaves. Even you two nincompoops can grasp that subject!

[Hope, who has just returned home, asks about Shawn]
Hope: I haven't even met his roommate. What kind of name is Dozer anyway?
Bo: Dozer isn't his roommate anymore. It's Rex?
Hope: What kind of name is Rex?
[Recognition dawns on her]
Hope: Wait, is that the Rex who is a genetically engineered human who was formerly an alien living in our garage?
Bo: Yep.
Hope: [sighing] Boy, I have a lot of catching up to do.

Hope: Gran, I wonder if Shawn even knows about the wedding.
Alice: He saw my invitation, dear.
Hope: Did he say anything to you?
Alice: He was very hurt!
Doug: Why doesn't that bozo wize up and realize that Belle is the one he loves before it's too late?
Julie: Darling, please don't call your grandson a bozo!
Doug: What else do you call a man who allows the love of his life to marry another man?
Alice: [Jumping in] Doug Williams!
[Pointing a finger at him matter-of-factly]
Doug: [Speechless at first] But I wised up eventually.
Hope: Oh Dad!
Julie: Oh, I think I'm gonna cry.
Alice: Well, that's what weddings are for, I suppose, to support the tissue industry.
Julie: No Grandma, not tears of joy... Belle is marrying the wrong guy, and everybody here knows it.
Alice: Maybe she won't marry Phillip after all.

[Nicole has just finished telling Lucas that Eric is stalking her]
Lucas: Oh wait, you know what I should do? I want to give you a number, the guy's a private security investigator at Titan. I want you to call him
[Gretta approaches]
Lucas: if Eric continues to stalk you in anyway.
Gretta: Is that what you told him Nicole - that Eric is stalking you? My God how could you lie that way after you came to my house and got down on your knees and begged me to help save your marriage to Lucas. What the Hell is really going on here?

Rex: Mimi, I just got done talking to Shawn.
Mimi: And I just talked to Belle. But I don't care what they say, I still believe that they belong together.
Rex: You know what? You are going off the deep end here... you are going to have to let this go, okay, Belle is committed to marrying Phillip. And Shawn has told me he's ready to move on with his life so there's nothing else you can do.
Mimi: Don't be so sure.
Rex: Mimi, what are you talking about?
Mimi: What if I said that I could prove to those two that their whole breakup was totally manipulated... that Shawn was brainwashed into thinking he had lost Belle to his best friend.
Rex: Then I'd say you've been watching too much Daytime TV. Stuff like that only happens on... what, what's that show called? What is it, Passions? This is real life Meems, not some soap opera. And you're going to have to accept the reality that some relationships don't work out.
Mimi: I wish everybody would stop saying that. I don't have to accept anything. Shawn and Belle are my best friends and I'm going to prove to them that their love is written in the stars... that they're meant to be together... Just like us. I love you so much Rex, and I'm going to show you and everyone else that it's all going to work out... you'll see.

Jack: I'll just be on my way. There are widows to fleece, mortgages to foreclose on, and heroines to tie to the track. Busy, busy, busy.

Jack: Oh, that would only leave more food for you, wouldn't it? Not that you need it!
Eve: What's that supposed to mean?
Jack: Well, you've been hitting the old feed bag a lot lately, haven't you?
Eve: Are you calling me FAT? You WIMP STRING BEAN! Do you hear that? Not only am I a thief, but I'm a FAT THIEF!

[Austin confronts Lucas about his alleged drinking problem]
Lucas: I don't have a drinking problem... I have a Sami problem.

Sami: You are insane.
EJ: No, my dear. I'm a DiMera.

Bo: Hold on. Just out of curiosity, have you logged any flight time in a jalopy like this?
John: It's been a couple years. Of course, the last time I flew, it didn't have as many doohickeys and gadgets, but that's a minor detail.
Bo: Doohickeys and - I'm glad to see you're well-versed in the technical terms. I'm full of confidence. Not.

Doug: [talking to Hope] Yeah. The old days, you were a teenager, and you were chasing after a bad boy named Bo Brady.
Bo: And I was smart not to let you catch me.

Sami: [opening the door wearing an ugly bathrobe, thinking it's Lucas] Lucas! I hope you don't mind what I'm wearing.
Kate: What's that? The latest in sexy lingere... I'm sorry, I mean, you would look absolutely adorable even if you were wearing a paper bag, Sami.
[trying to keep the peace with Sami for Lucas' sake]
Sami: I don't have time for this, you get your Botox butt and get out of... I mean, thank you, Kate for the sweet and sincere complement!
Kate: Hmmm, well I was just dropping by to make sure Lucas wasn't... to see if Lucas was here.
Sami: No he's not, thank God!
Kate: Oh Really?
Sami: Yeah, why don't you try his place. He's probably over there.
Kate: Yeah, well as long as he's not with you... I mean thank you for your help, I hope you have a really lousy... lovely evening, Sami.
Sami: Well at least I don't have sex for money... oh I mean see ya next time, Kate honey.

Mickey: What KIND of gun was it?
Jack: It's the kind that you pull the trigger and it shoots.

Kristen: Where'd he go?
Vivian: This is no time to speculate. Accept your fate, finish packing, get the hell out of Sale...
Kristen: Oh, wait a second! Wait! If John's not here, it means he won't be here when Marlena arrives!
Vivian: Kristen, you are buying seconds, nothing more. Come with me now before it gets worse!
Kristen: Worse? What could possibly be worse than this? What could possibly happen?

[opening: Salem police officer guarding Steve in hospital, doing crossword puzzle]
Policeman: What's a five-letter word for "enigma?"
Steven: What do I look like, Webster's Unabridged?
Bo: [walking in] Try "Steve."

Julie: Wait. Should we call the police?
Bo: I am the police. I got to check this out.

Nancy: Mimi, open this door.
Mimi: I can't!
Nancy: What's wrong?
Chloe: Maybe she's stuck.
Nancy: Mimi the door is locked from your side. Mimi, unlock it and open this door.
Mimi: I would if I could.
Nancy: Use your hands, they're not painted on.
Chloe: You never know!
Mimi: Oh my gosh. That wasn't, that wasn't shampoo, that was super glue!
[blood curdling scream]