The Best Kenny Keroucan Quotes

Maxwell: Miss Fine, where's Jocelyn? It's time to give her away.
Fran: Too late, she's already gone.
[Maxwell opens the door to see Jocelyn kissing Lester. Maxwell closes the door and goes back out to speak to Fran]
Maxwell: My God, what did you do?
Fran: I didn't say anything to her!
Maxwell: Did you speak to Lester?
Fran: Oh, I talked to a million people today. You think I remember every Tom, Dick, and Harry?
[Fran goes to the living room where the wedding ceremony is supposed to take place]
Kenny: [to the seated crowd] Uh... Ladies and gentleman. We're experiencing a little technical difficulties. So for your pre-nuptial enjoyment, the comic stylings of Mr. Kenny Keroucan.
Kenny: [confused] Huh?
Kenny: [after Fran quickly urges Kenny to perform his stand-up routine] So... How many of you been bar mitzvahed?
[Nigel follows Fran to the hall, where Maxwell is still waiting]
Nigel: What's happened?
Maxwell: Ah, Nigel. Uh...
Nigel: Jocelyn? Is she all right?
[Nigel is about to open the door to the room where Jocelyn is]
Fran: [excitedly] Don't go in there.
Nigel: Why not?
Fran: Uh... It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?
Nigel: [after Nigel opens the door and sees Jocelyn kissing Lester, Nigel slams the door closed behind him] I'll say.

Fran: Hi Kenny, what's new, how're your folks, whatcha up to?
Kenny: Hi Fran, not much, they're good, just doing laundry.