Top 30 Quotes From Riley Poole

Shaw: Prison.
Riley: Albuquerque. See, I can do it too. Snorkel.
Shaw: That's where the map is. Like he said, "Fifty-five in iron pen." "Iron pen" is a prison.
Ben: Or it could be, since the primary writing medium of the time was iron gall ink, the "pen" is... just a pen. But then why not say a pen? Why say "iron pen"?
Shaw: Cause it's a prison.

Powell: [referring to the underground staircase] How do a bunch of guys with hand tools build all this?
Ben: Same way they built the pyramids - and the Great Wall of China.
Riley: Yeah... the aliens helped them.

Riley: When are we gonna get there? I'm hungry. This car smells weird.

Powell: Look... this is a waste of time. How could a ship wind up way out here?
Riley: Well, I'm no expert but... it could be that the hydrothermic properties of this region produce hurricane-force ice storms that cause the ocean to freeze and then melt and then refreeze, resulting in a semisolid migrating land mass that would land a ship right around here.
[walks away]

[trying to find the password to the Preservation Room]
Ben: It's Valley Forge.
Riley: Valley... I don't have that on my computer.
Ben: It's Valley Forge. She pressed E and L twice.
[typing password]
Ben: Valley Forge was a turning point in the Revolutionary War.
[Access is granted]
Riley: Can I marry your brain?

Riley: [leaving Abigail's office after unsuccessfully trying to convince her about potential theft the Declaration of Independence] If it's any consolation, you had me convinced.
Ben: It's not.
Riley: I was thinking, what if we go public, plaster the story all over the internet? It's not like we have our reputations to worry about. Although, I don't think that's exactly gonna scare Ian away.
Ben: [standing in front of the Declaration of Independence] 180 years of searching, and I'm three feet away. Of all the words written here about freedom, there's a line here that's at the heart of all the others. "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security."
[pause]
Ben: People don't talk that way anymore.
Riley: Beautiful, huh? I have no idea what you said.
Ben: It means if there's something something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.
[pause]
Ben: I'm gonna steal it.
Riley: [laughs] What?
Ben: I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence.
[walks away]
Riley: [laughs, then follows Ben] Uh, Ben?

Riley: [after his computer goes blank] I lost my feed.
Ben: [in the preservation room] What?
Riley: I lost my feed, Ben. I don't know where anyone is. I-I have nothing. Ben, I have no-. Ben, I have nothing. Get out of there. Get out of there now!
Ben: [picking up the Declaration of independence's case] I'm taking the whole thing. I'll get it out of the elevator.
Riley: What are you talking... Is it heavy?

Riley: [examining the back of the Declaration] So if it's in invisible ink, how do we see it?
Patrick: Throw it in the oven.
Abigail: No!
Riley: Uh-uh.

Ben: [after he and Riley rescued Abigail from Ian's truck] You all right?
Abigail: No, those - those lunatics...
Ben: You're not hurt, are you?
Abigail: YOU'RE ALL LUNATICS!
Ben: You hungry?
Abigail: What?
Ben: Are you all right?
Riley: Still a little on-edge from being shot at but I'll be okay, thanks for asking.
Abigail: Yeah, well I'm not all right! Those men have the Declaration of Independence!
Riley: SHE LOST IT?
Ben: They don't have it.
[He pulls the Declaration out to show her]
Ben: See? Okay? Now could you please stop shouting?
Abigail: [She reaches for it, but he pulls it away] Give me that!
Ben: You're still shouting, and it's really starting to annoy. You would do well, Dr. Chase, to be a little more civilized in this instance.
Abigail: If this is the real one, what did they get?
Ben: A souvenir. I thought it'd be a good idea to have a duplicate, turns out I was right. I actually had to pay for the souvenir and the real one, so you owe me $35, plus tax.
Riley: Genius.
Abigail: Who were those men?
Ben: Just the guys we warned you were going to try to steal the Declaration.
Riley: And you didn't believe us!
Ben: We did the only thing we could do to keep it safe.
Abigail: Verdammt! Give me that!
Ben: You know something? You're shouting again.
Riley: Pretty sure she was swearing too.
Ben: Well, we probably deserved that.

Riley: I have to settle with 1%. One stinkin' percent. Half of one percent, actually.
[he jumps into a Ferrari 360 Spider]
Ben: I'm sorry for your suffering, Riley.

Riley: Let's just say there's 47 reasons to be interested.

Abigail: Riley, are you crying?
Riley: Look... Stairs.

Riley: Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?

Riley: For the record, Ben, I like the house.
Ben: You know, I chose this estate because in 1812 Charles Carroll met...
Riley: Yeah, someone that did something in history and had fun. Great. Wonderful.
[puts on a pair of sunglasses and starts the car]
Riley: Could have had a bigger house.
[drives away]

Riley: [after Ben decides to steal the Declaration] This is... huge.
[pause]
Riley: Prison... huge. You are gonna go to prison. You know that, right?
Benjamin: Yeah, probably.
Riley: Well... that would... bother most people.

Riley: It's a big blue-ish green man... with a strange-looking goatee... I'm guessing that's significant.
[hugs the statue]

Ben: [speaking through headset] Riley, can you hear me?
Riley: Unfortunately, yeah.

Riley: Anyone crazy enough to believe us isn't gonna want to help.
Ben: We don't need someone crazy. But one step short of crazy, what do you get?
Riley: Obsessed.
Ben: Passionate.

[Ben shivers after unrolling the Declaration of Independence in the signing room of Independence Hall]
Riley: What?
Ben: It's just that... the last time this was here... it was being signed.

Riley: Ben, you know what you have to do.
Ben: I know what I *have* to do, I'm just trying to think if there's anything else we *could* do.
Riley: Well not to be a nudge, but you do realize how many people we have after us. We probably have our own satellite by now. It took you all of two seconds to decide to steal the Declaration of Independence...
Ben: Yeah but I didn't think I was *personally* going to have to tell my Dad about it!
Ben: [Abigail tries to run away with the Declaration] Hey! Not cool! Not cool!
[Grabs her]
Abigail: Let me go!
Ben: [Taking back the Declaration] Okay, you're let go. Now shoo.
Abigail: I'm not going.
[Tries to take back the Declaration]
Abigail: Not without the Declaration.
Ben: [Pulling the Declaration away] You're not going with the Declaration.
Abigail: Yes I am. I'm not letting it out of my sight, so I'm going.
Ben: Wait. You're not going with us, with the Declaration.
Abigail: Yes I am.
Ben: No, you're not!
Abigail: Look, if you wanted to leave me behind, you shouldn't have told me where you were going.
Riley: [Bangs head on car door frame]

Abigail: What led you to assume there's this invisible map?
Ben: We found an engraving on the stem of a 200-year-old pipe.
Riley: Owned by the Free Masons.
Abigail: May I see the pipe?
Ben: We don't actually have it.
Abigail: [beat, leans forward conspiratorially] Did Bigfoot take it?

Riley: Okay, Ben, pay attention. I've brought you to the Library of Congress. Why? Because it's the biggest library in the world. Over 20 million books. And they're all saying the same exact thing: Listen to Riley. What we have here is an entire layout of the Archives: sort of builder's blueprints. We've got construction manuals, phone lines, water, and sewage. It's all right here. Now, when the Declaration is on display, it is surrounded by guards... and video monitors... and little families from Iowa... and little kids on their eighth-grade field trip. And underneath an inch of bulletproof glass is an army of sensors and heat monitors that will go off if someone gets too close with a high fever. Now, when it's not on display, it is lowered into a four-foot-thick concrete, steel-plated vault that happens to be equipped with an electronic combination lock and biometric access-denial systems.
Ben: You know, Thomas Edison tried and failed nearly 2,000 times to develop the carbonized cotton-thread filament for the incandescent light bulb.
Riley: Edison?
Ben: And when asked about it, he said "I didn't fail; I found out 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb," but he only needed one way to make it work.
[sets down a book in front of Riley]
Ben: The Preservation Room. Enjoy. Go ahead. Do you know what the preservation room is for?
Riley: Delicious jams and jellies?
Ben: No, that's where they clean, repair, and maintain all the documents and their storage housings when they are not on display or in the vault. Now, when the case needs work, they take it out of the vault and directly across the hall and into the Preservation Room. The best time for us or Ian to steal it would be during the gala this weekend when the guards are distracted by the VIPs upstairs; but we'll make our way to the Preservation Room, where there is much less security.
Riley: Well... uh... Ian... Preservation, hmm. Well, this might be possible.
Ben: It might.

Patrick: [to Abigail and Riley] And he dragged you two into this nonsense?
Abigail: Literally.
Riley: I volunteered.

Ben: Meet me at the car. Call me if you have any problems.
Riley: Like if we get caught and killed?
Ben: Yeah - that would be a big problem. Take care of her.
Riley: [together] I will.

Abigail: There is not a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence.
Ben: And there's no chance anyone can steal this...
[shakes the tube containing the Declaration]
Ben: ... either.
[shakes the tube again]
Ben: I leveled with you one hundred percent. Everything I told you was the truth.
Abigail: I want that document, Mr. Brown.
Ben: Ok, my name's not Brown. It's Gates. I leveled with you ninety-eight percent.
Abigail: Wait a minute, did you just say "Gates"?
[brief pause]
Abigail: "Gates"? You're that family with the conspiracy theory about the founding fathers?
Ben: It's not a conspiracy theory.
Riley: Per se.
Abigail: You know what? I take it back. You're not liars. You're insane.

Riley: [speaking through headset] How do you look?
Ben: [looking in mirror] Not bad.
Riley: Mazel tov!

Riley: Our evil plan is working.

Abigail: You can't *seriously* intend to run chemical tests on the Declaration of Independence... in the back of a moving van!
Riley: We have a clean room environment all set up: EDS suits, a particulate air filtration system, the whole shebang.
Abigail: Really?
Ben: We can't go back there.
Riley: What? Why not?

Benjamin: I'm so sorry I dropped you - I had to save the Declaration!
Abigail: No, don't be. I would have done exactly the same to you.
Benjamin: Really?
Abigail: Yeah.
Riley: I would've dropped you both! Freaks.

Riley: They're like Early American x-ray specs.
Abigail: Benjamin Franklin invented something like these.
Ben: Uh, I think he invented *these*.