Top 50 Quotes From Simon Bellamy

Nathan: Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon: Who's Barry?
Nathan: You are.
Kelly: His name is Simon.
Nathan: I thought it was Barry. Sorry, man.

Curtis: Go on then. Turn invisible.
Simon: I can't do it when everyone's watching me.
Nathan: So I guess it's like pissing at a urinal if you've got a tiny cock.

Alisha: Do you want to walk in together? You don't have to if you're embarrassed to be seen with me.
Simon: I'd never be embarrassed to be seen with you.

Nathan: Whatever happens, we can't let the new guy find out about our powers.
Kelly: What do we do if he does find out?
Simon: We kill him... I'm joking.
Nathan: You're making jokes now? Excuse us. You're creeping out of your weird little shell. I get that. Good for you. But let's get one thing straight; I'm the funny guy round here.

Simon: Do you like food?
Alisha: Do I like food?
Simon: I mean, eating. We could go for a pizza, and some garlic dough balls.
Alisha: Are you asking me out?
Simon: [nods] I think about you. Not just since you...
Alisha: You think about me? Have you been wanking over me? If you wank over someone, wank over Kelly, yeah? Freak.
Simon: Why are you doing this to me?

Nathan: You got any brothers?
Simon: A sister.
Nathan: Is she cute? You should think about getting me and her together. Hey, man. Someone's going to. Better it be a close friend. Someone you trust to be gentle, and respectful. Me.
Simon: [looks revolted] She's 12!
Nathan: Oh! Probably best to leave it a couple of years, then.

Simon: Why are you being so nice to me?
Alisha: I can be nice... Look, if I've ever been a bitch to you, I'm sorry.
Simon: I've never thought you were a bitch. Sometimes I think it's difficult for beautiful girls. People don't see past their looks.

Alisha: Where are you going?
Simon: I'm going to kill Jesus.
Alisha: I'm coming with you.

Nathan: Did you just recently grow a set of balls?
Simon: I've always had a set of balls. You just never seen them.
Nathan: That is about the gayest thing I've ever heard.

Nathan: I'm universally popular and well-liked. Why would anyone want to kill me?
Curtis: I can think of a few reasons.
Kelly: Shitloads.
Simon: You annoy people.

Simon: Jessica isn't a psychotic killer. She's a virgin.
Nathan: I knew there was something wrong with her!
Simon: There isn't anymore.
[Nathan looks shocked, than excited]
Nathan: I'm proud of you, man!
[Nathan hugs Simon]
Nathan: And I expect to hear every disgusting detail!

Nathan: Come on Barry, you're good at this sort of stuff. Think of something.
Simon: Who's Barry?
Nathan: ...You are.
Kelly: His name is Simon.
Nathan: Is it? I thought it was Barry. Sorry mate.

Simon: How did they find out about us?
Nathan: What? No, I didn't do anything. I don't think I did. I'm almost certain I didn't.

Alisha: I've never thanked you. I wanted you to know. Thanks.
Simon: Why are you being so nice to me?
Alisha: I can be nice. Sometimes. Look, if I've ever been a bitch to you... I'm sorry.
Simon: I've never thought you're a bitch. Sometimes I think it's difficult for beautiful girls. People don't see past their looks.

Simon: Do you want to go for a drink?
Nathan: Are you asking me out on a date?
Simon: No, I meant all of us.
Nathan: Did you? I am not your whore!

[after robbing a bank]
Alisha: How was it?
Simon: Very easy.

Alisha: Does something happen to us? Am I gonna die?
Simon: I'm not going to let that happen.

Simon: Maybe we're meant to be like superheroes.
Nathan: You lot? Superheroes? No offense but in what sort of fucked up world would that be allowed to happen.

Nathan: C'mon, man, it all adds up. Do the maths.
Simon: There is no maths
Nathan: Right. She was here, plus no-one else was around. Times, she caught me leering at her semi-naked. Divided by, all the weird shit that happens to us. Equals guilty.

Simon: I got your text.
Matt: What text?
Simon: You sent me a text telling me to meet you here.
Matt: I was texting my mate. I meant a different Simon.

Simon: It's gonna be alright. I should know. I'm from the future.

Nathan: Did you just recently grow a set of balls? Nathan:
Simon: I've always had a set of balls. You just never seen them
Nathan: That is about the gayest thing I've ever heard.

Kelly: What about your friends?
Nathan: I believe that's generally referred to as a pedophile ring
Simon: I'm not a pedophile
Nathan: Oh yeah? You'd screw your own sister for a slice of cheese
Simon: I don't even like cheese
Nathan: That makes it even worse, you sick bastard

Simon: What's he doing?
Curtis: He's trying to smash the bottle with his mind. I think he's going to shit himself.

Nathan: Oh come on, seriously? He was never going to fit in, what with all the caring about the environment and that. Better him than me.
Simon: You're immortal.
Nathan: ...Better him than one of you.

Simon: We could rob a bank.
Nathan: Yeah, OK. Let's rob a bank.
Shaun: What's that?
Nathan: Nothing.
Shaun: Really? That's funny, innit? Because to me it sounded like you were planning on robbing a bank.
Nathan: No, no, no. I said "Let's have a big wank". Communal masturbation. The old circle jerk.

Simon: We should all go out for drink, you know, to celebrate. It's like an ironic "fuck you" to the probation worker. We're all out having a good time - you're buried under the foundations of an environmental monitoring station.

Nathan: Did you just suddenly grow a set of balls?
Simon: I've always had a set of balls, you've just never seen them.
Nathan: That is about the gayest thing I've ever heard.

Alisha: [sees Simon filming] What? Do you want to have a look too?
Simon: [closes phone] No, thanks. I'm okay.
Nathan: [raises hand] Can I have another look?

Nathan: What about you, weird kid? Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you look like a panty sniffer.
Simon: I'm not a panty sniffer. I'm not a pervert. I tried to burn someone's house down.

Simon: You think I risked my life travelling through the dimensions of time so I could sniff your knickers?

Alisha: You can't die. I love you.
Simon: I'll still be here.
Alisha: No, I don't love him. I love you!

Simon: You expect me to tell you anything after how you've treated me? After all the names you've called me?
Nathan: What names?
Simon: Weird kid. Panty sniffer. Virgin. Freak. Twat. Pervert. Paedophile... Melon fucker! I just want to be your friend.
Nathan: Sure, man.

Tim: Is it true?
Simon: Is what true?
Tim: You know what I'm talking about.
[Curtis and Nathan exchange puzzled glances]
Tim: Don't play games with me, Conti.
Kelly: [angrily] Awww, he talks this bollocks all the time!
Tim: Fat Tony says you got an undercover cop in your organization.
Nathan: See, that's why I don't play computer games, cause they never bloody end!

Simon: Do you want to come for a drink?
Nathan: Are you asking me out on a date?
Simon: No... I meant all of us.
Nathan: Did you? I am not your whore.

Simon: What if we are meant to be, like, superheroes?
Nathan: You lot, superheroes? No offence, but in what kind of fucked-up world would that be allowed to happen?

Nathan: Go on, then. Do it. Turn invisible.
[Simon clenches his fists and strains, but nothing happens]
Nathan: My God! He's disappeared!
Simon: Can't you see me?
Nathan: No!
[throws can directly at Simon's forehead]
Nathan: You're invisible!

Simon: We should set up a password that we can say to each other so we know it's us.
Nathan: 'Monkey slut'!
Alisha: We're not having 'monkey slut' as a password.
Nathan: What are the chances of that being brought up in a normal conversation? Kinda low, no?

Curtis: It's a wind-up. Who uses a paper aeroplane?
Kelly: Well, whoever it is, they're going to get a slap.
Simon: I - I don't think you should slap them.
Curtis: To her, that's like saying hello.
Kelly: Are you trying to say something, yeah?
Curtis: No...

Curtis: One of your followers killed my girlfriend.
Simon: You're exploiting the vulnerable.
Kelly: You're taking money off people.
Alisha: Sexually assaulting girls
Elliot: Hey, that's the Catholic church for you.
Nathan: Hey, he's got a point. When I was growing up in Ireland, if the priests weren't fiddling with you, you were one of the ugly kids.

Alisha: Were you sniffing my knickers?
Simon: You think I risked my life travelling through the dimensions of time so I could sniff your knickers?

Curtis: [holding bat to Nathan's face] Say another word. I dare you. Do it!
Nathan: [guffaws] I didn't do anything... be angry with him.
Simon: [stuttering] ... I-I didn't know what was happening... she-she just... and then she... before I knew it, she was...
Nathan: Sucking your cock!

Nathan: I can advise him, teach him stuff.
Simon: Like what?
Nathan: Like, er... Does he know how to dance?
Simon: Do you?
Nathan: Well, I'll get lessons, 'cause that's what brothers do for each other.

Simon: You think I risked my life travelling through the dimensions of time so I could sniff your knickers?
Alisha: I don't know, did you?
Simon: No.

Simon: It's like a Zombie film!
Rudy: Never watched one mate. I'm more of an E.T. Man, me. I fuckin love the little cunt!

Nathan: It's a cruel senseless waste. A young man taken from us in his prime, leaving us to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives, knowing that he's gone forever. So maybe we should have the rest of the week off, you know to cry, and grieve, and remember our dear friend...
[points to Simon]
Simon: Ollie.
Nathan: ...Ollie! Dear beautiful Ollie!

Nathan: [Discussing a plan for dealing with the Virtue group] Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon: Who's Barry?
Nathan: You are.
Kelly: His name is Simon.
Nathan: Is it? I thought it was Barry.

Sally: You don't owe them anything.
Simon: They're the only friends I've got.

Alisha: You and me? Seriously? How is that ever gonna happen?
Simon: You fall in love with me.

Alisha: Are you actually saying we saved the world?
Simon: We saved the world.
Kelly: That is proper superhero shit.